Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

Gay of me I know. But this thread has become a little less fun for me now that he’s genuinely on deaths door. I don’t think he gets another “health event”. I think the next one it’s sayonara and thanks for the memories.

After this one, I'm not so sure. I'd have thought a fourth stroke would be enough to kill anyone. It looked like they informed Garrett that this was absolutely it. But Jack has an insane kind of luck.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

Don’t forget the grape jelly! Or gelatin. Whatever the product is that makes it goopy.

In the OG sauce it was the not one, but TWO types of corn syrup!

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Gay of me I know. But this thread has become a little less fun for me now that he’s genuinely on deaths door. I don’t think he gets another “health event”. I think the next one it’s sayonara and thanks for the memories.

It might be sayonara already. There’s a good chance Jack can’t film anymore, maybe he can’t walk, maybe he can’t use the other arm, any number of serious symptoms. My bet is that his speech has been severely affected, and not just physical parts like moving mouth and tongue but neurological problems like vocabulary, aphasia, etc.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

After this one, I'm not so sure. I'd have thought a fourth stroke would be enough to kill anyone. It looked like they informed Garrett that this was absolutely it. But Jack has an insane kind of luck.

I don't believe in deals with the devil, but it sure feels like one with Jack. He's endured so many widowmaker events and yet lived to stuff his face with Arby's another day. He truly is like Keith Richards in that he really should be dead but isn't yet.

It might be sayonara already. There’s a good chance Jack can’t film anymore, maybe he can’t walk, maybe he can’t use the other arm, any number of serious symptoms. My bet is that his speech has been severely affected, and not just physical parts like moving mouth and tongue but neurological problems like vocabulary, aphasia, etc.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

I have no sympathy for Jack if this is the case. All those heart attacks and strokes, only to double down on how he ate? And with that attitude? Him becoming such a crip that he cannot larp as a cooking YouTuber anymore is a just fate for him.

It is off that we haven't seen Jack on video since the hospital stay. This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud. He updated at a regular rate. It's ironically the closest thing he has to a work ethic in him. Not even a two minute long update?

I am very curious to see just how fucked up this latest episode left him. Even if he is too crippled for new content, however, I could see the Scalfanis trying to milk the old crap via reuploads (like how Jack will occasionally repost "classics"). Anything to keep going.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

It might be sayonara already. There’s a good chance Jack can’t film anymore, maybe he can’t walk, maybe he can’t use the other arm, any number of serious symptoms. My bet is that his speech has been severely affected, and not just physical parts like moving mouth and tongue but neurological problems like vocabulary, aphasia, etc.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

Maybe. He's already said his food war tours are going to continue and we are anxiously awaiting the F as in Frank TELL ALL episode.

Wishful thinking on my part but I need at least 5 more years of Jack content.

 

[A Wumpa Fruit]

so...the 3rd stroke finally reached the mushbrain...I know I´m very very very late in the party but....WOW
I´m actually impressed, bruh, how is so resistant?!!!!
Too bad for mommy wife but fucking Jack is indestructible for some reason

 

[captkrisma]

Jack got angy that the trans M&M returned. He also totally missed the joke.

 

[ZipDisk]

mix suddenly.

I love this.

Re: Race: Jack is a secret Ayrab, we have discussed this in the past.

Re: Liberal Football - It isn't that Rihanna is a negress, it's that illuminati bullshit about being dressed in red being in service of Satan. (Sam Smith and the not a woman)

Re: checking in from the hospital - The thin-skinned whale would never do this. The only reason he has admitted to past medical trauma is because it is self-evident. He'd probably pretend the arm isn't dead if he could. (Saebo saga)

This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud.

Rob did it better! He's hanging out in Tortuga.

Enjoy the mushroom slop, Jack!

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

I don't believe in deals with the devil, but it sure feels like one with Jack. He's endured so many widowmaker events and yet lived to stuff his face with Arby's another day. He truly is like Keith Richards in that he really should be dead but isn't yet.



I have no sympathy for Jack if this is the case. All those heart attacks and strokes, only to double down on how he ate? And with that attitude? Him becoming such a crip that he cannot larp as a cooking YouTuber anymore is a just fate for him.

It is off that we haven't seen Jack on video since the hospital stay. This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud. He updated at a regular rate. It's ironically the closest thing he has to a work ethic in him. Not even a two minute long update?

I am very curious to see just how fucked up this latest episode left him. Even if he is too crippled for new content, however, I could see the Scalfanis trying to milk the old crap via reuploads (like how Jack will occasionally repost "classics"). Anything to keep going.

Technically, a widowmaker refers to a full blockage in the LAD artery (left anterior descending artery). The LAD artery provides 50 percent of the blood supply to the heart. I don’t know if he has had that type of heart attack yet.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Technically, a widowmaker refers to a full blockage in the LAD artery (left anterior descending artery). The LAD artery provides 50 percent of the blood supply to the heart. I don’t know if he has had that type of heart attack yet.

Likely not, given how deadly widowmakers are supposed to be. Although Tammy should’ve been made a widow at least five times herself from what I can tell. Jack’s arteries have to be super blocked. A heart attack was overdue.

I was trying to make a punnish joke earlier, but me stupid

 

[TheCakeIsALie]

Likely not, given how deadly widowmakers are supposed to be. Although Tammy should’ve been made a widow at least five times herself from what I can tell. Jack’s arteries have to be super blocked. A heart attack was overdue.

I was trying to make a punnish joke earlier, but me stupid

I will say it is amazing how much Jack has gone through and still not a completely vegetable, but it does remain to be seen what is functioning is at. I do not think he’s coming out of this completely unscathed.

 

[biggacracka]

This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud.

Jack would totally film his hospital stay and pass it as business expenses if he could film it

 

[Sonic T]

Jack would totally film his hospital stay and pass it as business expenses if he could film it

"CoMe On iN cLoSe and I'll show you this slice of toast from the cafeteria."

*resumes drooling on bib, nurse comes in to rinse his bed pan*

Edit: typo

 

[Falcon Sebben]

In the OG sauce it was the not one, but TWO types of corn syrup!

Ooooh! Fancy!

It might be sayonara already. There’s a good chance Jack can’t film anymore, maybe he can’t walk, maybe he can’t use the other arm, any number of serious symptoms. My bet is that his speech has been severely affected, and not just physical parts like moving mouth and tongue but neurological problems like vocabulary, aphasia, etc.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

The longer this goes on where he's not on camera the worse off I believe he really is.

The last stroke that took his arm and he was filming days later. It's been how many weeks now that he was laid up? If he does come back he's going to be mushmouthing more than he currently does.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

I will say it is amazing how much Jack has gone through and still not a completely vegetable, but it does remain to be seen what is functioning is at. I do not think he’s coming out of this completely unscathed.

The longer this goes on where he's not on camera the worse off I believe he really is.

The last stroke that took his arm and he was filming days later. It's been how many weeks now that he was laid up? If he does come back he's going to be mushmouthing more than he currently does.

It's the length of time and lack of video that hint just how fucked up he is. I'm sure the damage is bad. It'd just be nice to see how Bad it really is. Is he not filming anymore because he can't speak at all? Jack loves the sound of his own voice, mushmouth be damned. We haven't heard him speak at all since the incident. I'm half expecting Jack in a power chair and using a speech assistance device next time we see him. Like Stephen Hawking, but with less brilliance and more salmonella.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

The longer this goes on where he's not on camera the worse off I believe he really is.

Agreed. But rest assured: as long as there's at least some way to get meat, cheese, sugar and grease into his fish-lipped pie hole, down his throat and into his enormous bowling ball gut, Jagoff ABSOLUTELY WILL be filming and posting for the bogus tax write off.

It's the only way forward in order to make his food fix remotely sustainable ... dignity be damned. Can't wait for it!

 

[Pig Cups]

It might be sayonara already.

I think if this wasn’t the case he would have already filmed and released a “checking in with YouTube from the hospital” video - Jack did talk about his strokes in past videos, so I don’t think they would keep the illusion up quite this long.

It is off that we haven't seen Jack on video since the hospital stay. This dude vlogs his vacations for the tax fraud. He updated at a regular rate. It's ironically the closest thing he has to a work ethic in him. Not even a two minute long update?

Agree.

Jackoff is a narcissistic attention-seeker with a massive ego. He loves the concept of being this important (ha!) figure that people tune into/“listen to.” Therefore, I would’ve expected something by this point- Fatty needs his fix, right?

Even a “hey guys, sorry I’ve been out of touch…here’s what’s been going on…” shot from his hospital bed, selfie-style, is something you’d think he’d do. The fact that he hasn’t leads one to think it’s really dire.

But then again, Jack only took the time to notify of his previous absences because he still liked his audience, and felt that there were some well-wishers out there. Given that even he probably realizes that’s all gone, it could explain why he doesn’t care to provide an update at this point. He also probably realizes that giving an honest update amounts to a confession that he’s a total health disaster, and I doubt he wants to attract more scorn and ridicule.

The last stroke that took his arm and he was filming days later.

Not so fast. Regarding the stroke that took his right arm, the last pre-stroke upload was on 6/15/18.

The next uploads were the coffee sock video (uploaded 6/29), followed by the stroke announcement video (uploaded 6/30). Interestingly, most of the coffee sock video was filmed pre-stroke, with the taste test portion filmed post-stroke (evidenced by Jack wearing the same outfit and exhibiting the same slowness as in the announcement video). Safe to say those two videos were his first post-stroke uploads, despite the filming discrepancy.

So that’s a 19-day gap. He was probably released from the hospital prior to the full 19 days, so take a few days off of that to allow for filming and editing. The news of his most recent event debuted here on 1/26, so as of this posting, he hasn’t been on video for (coincidentally) 19 days.

I haven’t given up hope yet. Since there was a 19-day gap last time, it’s not entirely without precedent. He may be significantly more hobbled now than from his last episode, but it still might be survivable event where he just needs a little more time to recuperate. But the clock is ticking, and each passing day that he’s not on camera makes it look bleaker.

 

[Tiresome]

I haven’t given up hope yet. Since there was a 19-day gap last time, it’s not entirely without precedent. He may be significantly more hobbled now than from his last episode, but it still might be survivable event where he just needs a little more time to recuperate. But the clock is ticking, and each passing day that he’s not on camera makes it look bleaker.

This is great. The last documented glimpse of the right arm when it was still alive. Can you imagine how little instinct of self-preservation coupled with how much hedonism disorder it requires someone to pick right back up with those habits after an event like that, not to mention he's almost certainly going to do it again, if he's able to?

Also, as an aside, pre-stroke Jack preps the coffee in the urn with his filthy bare fingers. Post-stroke Jack asserts it's been "brewing all night." How much do you want to bet that selfsame coffee sat in the fridge for the duration of Jack's stay in the hospital?

 

[Pig Cups]

All those heart attacks and strokes, only to double down on how he ate? And with that attitude? Him becoming such a crip that he cannot larp as a cooking YouTuber anymore is a just fate for him.

Exactly. He enjoys the LARP because it strokes his ego. It’s also likely that he clings to his TV appearances and the local news articles written about him over a decade ago as proof of his “celebrity.” And the fact that (maybe prior to recent developments) he seems determined to keep going through the motions and making content, despite the decline in viewers/quality, speaks to the fact that he very much is interested in continuing his LARP as a chef (if for no other reason than to get his narc fix). If he truly DID NOT care anymore, he’d stop with little to no fanfare.

I imagine losing his YouTube show in such a fashion, when he’s not ready to give it up, will seriously depress him. Just picture CWJ/JOTG going out like a wet fart with no official goodbyes, thank yous, or special finales. It’d probably be in the form of some half-assed FaceBook status, which would be an oddly fitting way for the Lazy Man to close the curtain- poorly executed, like everything else in his life.

This is great. The last documented glimpse of the right arm when it was still alive. Can you imagine how little instinct of self-preservation coupled with how much hedonism disorder it requires someone to pick right back up with those habits after an event like that, not to mention he's almost certainly going to do it again, if he's able to?

That’s the spooky part about watching old Jack footage where he has two working arms.

You broadly try to follow what’s going on, but as much as you try to block it out, you really can’t see anything else. All that you can see is FUTURE. DEAD. STROKE. ARM.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Agree.

Jackoff is a narcissistic attention-seeker with a massive ego. He loves the concept of being this important (ha!) figure that people tune into/“listen to.” Therefore, I would’ve expected something by this point- Fatty needs his fix, right?

Even a “hey guys, sorry I’ve been out of touch…here’s what’s been going on…” shot from his hospital bed, selfie-style, is something you’d think he’d do. The fact that he hasn’t leads one to think it’s really dire.

But then again, Jack only took the time to notify of his previous absences because he still liked his audience, and felt that there were some well-wishers out there. Given that even he probably realizes that’s all gone, it could explain why he doesn’t care to provide an update at this point. He also probably realizes that giving an honest update amounts to a confession that he’s a total health disaster, and I doubt he wants to attract more scorn and ridicule.



Not so fast. Regarding the stroke that took his right arm, the last pre-stroke upload was on 6/15/18.

The next uploads were the coffee sock video (uploaded 6/29), followed by the stroke announcement video (uploaded 6/30). Interestingly, most of the coffee sock video was filmed pre-stroke, with the taste test portion filmed post-stroke (evidenced by Jack wearing the same outfit and exhibiting the same slowness as in the announcement video). Safe to say those two videos were his first post-stroke uploads, despite the filming discrepancy.

So that’s a 19-day gap. He was probably released from the hospital prior to the full 19 days, so take a few days off of that to allow for filming and editing. The news of his most recent event debuted here on 1/26, so as of this posting, he hasn’t been on video for (coincidentally) 19 days.

I haven’t given up hope yet. Since there was a 19-day gap last time, it’s not entirely without precedent. He may be significantly more hobbled now than from his last episode, but it still might be survivable event where he just needs a little more time to recuperate. But the clock is ticking, and each passing day that he’s not on camera makes it look bleaker.

This is very informative. But, please correct me if I am wrong. Didn't Jack blame his stroke on caffeine/coffee? And yet his cold brew video (taste test portion) was posted right after his stroke...