🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[SilkyJohnson]

Ralph will never ever quit the Killstream. His financial and social lives are so deeply entrenched within it that I'm fully convinced he'd sit there hollering at 12 viewers for pennies till he croaks.

Besides he exists for the notoriety, if he wasn't an "internet villain" what else would he have?

He craves any sort of status to appease his fragile ego and I'm positive he'd rather blow his brains out then become a sober l family man working a blue collar job.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Ralph will never ever quit the Killstream. His financial and social lives are so deeply entrenched within it that I'm fully convinced he'd sit there hollering at 12 viewers for pennies till he croaks.

Besides he exists for the notoriety, if he wasn't an "internet villain" what else would he have?

He craves any sort of status to appease his fragile ego and I'm positive he'd rather blow his brains out then become a sober l family man working a blue collar job.

This is also a well worn path we’ve seen before.

 

[Merry]

The melodrama and flip flopping like this is a sign of manic depression, lol

might wanna see a therapist Ralph (or cut out the dozen or so vices and health+brain destroying habits you have)

 

[Ralph Barnhardt]

What does Ethan have left? He has been humiliated beyond measure. His usefulness has long since past. His money has all been spent. He fled the country. His glory/youth isn't coming back. Best case scenario he continues like he has, a'squealin and a'hollerin. Bad end, double murder suicide live on cozy as a final act of defiance and a way to hurt as many as his enemies while going out on his own terms. A very unlikely case but a non-zero chance of happening. This is assuming he doesn't take a swing at a local or ODs after forgetting how many pills he's already taken.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

The melodrama and flip flopping like this is a sign of manic depression, lol

might wanna see a therapist Ralph (or cut out the dozen or so vices and health+brain destroying habits you have)

It’s really too late for a therapist. Maybe before unlimited Xanax, but now he’s just chemically fucked in a way that talking can’t fix

 

[GamerGateSurvivor]

So let's say hypothetically this isn't a work and Ralph's really going to hang up the Golden EIB Killstream microphone. What are the Gunt's career options?

• Drug smuggler
  • This is the most likely choice since it's about the only thing he's qualified for. He's an American who's accustomed to traveling so he could find himself taking a few loads across the border. But if the cartels think he's too much of a drunken rage pig to properly operate a vehicle (he is), they'll likely tuck a few kilos under his gunt and stick him in the back of a tractor trailer filled with pigs heading north.
• Wrasslin' promoter
  • This is another field he's got experience in. His reputation might be dog shit from the first batch of wrestler's he's worked with, but there are plenty more up and coming stars who would jump at the chance for exposure.
• Addiction counselor
  • This is likely a death sentence for Ralph since he's so hooked on drugs and alcohol that detoxing may kill him. But on the off chance it doesn't and he gets clean, he might find Christ (for real and not that "Christ is Kang" shit) and help people overcome their addictions. Or he'll relapse and wrap his truck around a telephone pole because why wouldn't he?

 

[John Andrews Stan]

I'm positive he'd rather blow his brains out then become a sober l family man working a blue collar job.

No one ever showed him how a father is supposed to take care of a family. But he’s an adult (legally, anyway) and it’s his responsibility to find out — especially since the pups are already squeezed out.

Ralph wants to feel sorry for himself because it’s all he’s ever known. He might actually commit murder-suicide by cop just because it would be a “based legacy.” Much easier to pull the trigger if you know your life is so worthless and wicked that the best you can hope for is a heroic exit.

 

[Sicko Hunter]

For the record, Ralph pulling a Lotax and stranding his horse wife and 1/2 of his young children in Mexico would be an extremely spiteful thing to do, and Ralph is nothing but spite, absolute peak Ralphamale behavior.

However, Ralph would never complete the corn sacrifice and let Null win, so I firmly believe he won't commit sodoku while he still receives any income from streaming.

The only curveball I could see happening is if doctor gave Ralph a terminal diagnosis with a very short time-till-death.

Ralph loves himself too much to ever off himself. He would also see it as giving a W to Vickers, Mr. Morris and all his other enemies. I could see him getting super pissed off while in a blackout and killing meigh though.

 

[Dumb Bitch Smoothie]

This nigger really is a teenage girl. He couldn't keep up the depression act for very long.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

This nigger really is a teenage girl. He couldn't keep up the depression act for very long.

Teenage girls are taller than 5’1” on average.

 

[Jeff Gerstmann]

Ralph loves himself too much to ever off himself. He would also see it as giving a W to Vickers, Mr. Morris and all his other enemies. I could see him getting super pissed off while in a blackout and killing meigh though.

Yep. Narcissists rarely kill themselves.

It's really 50/50 which one of them is going to kill who at this point.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Ralph loves himself too much to ever off himself. He would also see it as giving a W to Vickers, Mr. Morris and all his other enemies. I could see him getting super pissed off while in a blackout and killing meigh though.

Eh, he can barely move when he’s sober.

Ralph is most likely already a little ways down the path of congestive heart failure. His breathing is super heavy because his heart isn’t pumping strong enough to circulate enough blood to oxygenate his tissues. He’s also retaining water because the action of his heart isn’t enough to push an adequate amount of blood through his renal system so he can piss out extra fluid.

He doesn’t do any sort of exercise, which would help get his heart beating faster and flush some of the fluids.. it’s one of the reasons hyperobese people can lose like 50 lbs in just a month of exercising. That’s not all calorie burn, it’s losing water weight.

Anyways, my point is it still takes a while to die, but slowly dying is what Ralph is doing. The xannies obviously don’t help, and I feel like I’ve said that a hundred times, but to be clear, they work to keep his heart rate down.

He’s pretty much too physically pathetic to kill someone without a gun

 

[John Andrews Stan]

slowly dying is what Ralph is doing

Wonder how furious it makes Ralph to know everyone is laughing at his agonizing death?

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Wonder how furious it makes Ralph to know everyone is laughing at his agonizing death?

Not furious enough to walk two miles a day, which would’ve done a lot to help his heart out.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Ralph’s shtick in 11 words: “I’m the piece of shit at the center of the universe.”

Alternative version: “NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER NIGGER!”

 

[NewnameRealEmail]

He’s pretty much too physically pathetic to kill someone without a gun

Do you really think he can muster the arm strength to rack the slide on a modern handgun? The brainpower to eject and replace the cylinder on a revolver?

Plenty of women struggle with chambering their first round, and I guarantee you Ralph (the most womanly man I know) has never even touched a firearm in his life.

That’s a lot of credit you’re giving him.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Do you really think he can muster the arm strength to rack the slide on a modern handgun?

Not if the spring is new enough to cause stovepipes

The brainpower to eject and replace the cylinder on a revolver?

What if he tricked Meigh into doing it?
“Umma fixin ter kill mahself Meigh, gimme a han here!”

Plenty of women struggle with chambering their first round, and I guarantee you Ralph (the most womanly man I know) has never even touched a firearm in his life.

That’s a lot of credit you’re giving him.

Since you put it that way

 

[Cousin Carl]

ralph after a week: "I'M JUST LIKE TOM BRADY Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS DONE AND OUT BUT I STILL GOT ONE IN ME AYLAWGS"

 

[John Andrews Stan]

ralph after a week: "I'M JUST LIKE TOM BRADY Y'ALL THOUGHT I WAS DONE AND OUT BUT I STILL GOT ONE IN ME AYLAWGS"

And by “one” he means a final shartload into his commando-worn shorts. Ralph’s always got one in the chamber.

 

[Dumb Bitch Smoothie]

He’s pretty much too physically pathetic to kill someone without a gun

You haven't ruled out crushing them to death with his fat. All he needs to do is lay on Meigh while she sleeps...