🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[rel=alternate]

Ralph is an alcohol.

It should come to no surprise that he is going to have phases where he is alternatively depressed and angry.

He cannot retire. He will stay until he dies indeed, but not by choice. Because that's the only thing keeping him afloat right now. The only reason he has to get up in the mid afternoon.

He may have his moments of clarity where he realizes how much of a fuck up he has become, but he just can't stop. Even though it most likely would be the healthiest thing to do.

 

[Chimplord1997]

Ralph just said he isn’t quitting after Bibble sent $3 to ask for the keys. Just scamming again.

Yeah, kind of expected it. Just realistically, his ego is too big, and his work ethic too poor, and the only way he would even stand a chance at a min wage job would be to, ironically, abandon the name his daddy gave him

 

[William Tyndale]

He went live, and supposedly it's his last show before retirement.
View attachment 4597680

I wonder if catboy nick told him he had to go and ethan negotiated a “retirement” instead.

 

[Jack Awful]

Remember:

A "work" means Ralph fucked up and exposed how truly pathetic his life is, so he has to lie to trick his haters (and fans) into thinking he was just pretending and that everything is fine.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I wonder if catboy nick told him he had to go and ethan negotiated a “retirement” instead.

He was mumbling about leaving Cozy, but not retiring. It was confusing. I’m think Catboi isn’t pleased with Ralph and this is probably fueling his bender more than his lying whore getting the power cut for a day.

 

[Niggernerd]

He was mumbling about leaving Cozy, but not retiring. It was confusing. I’m think Catboi isn’t pleased with Ralph and this is probably fueling his bender more than his lying whore getting the power cut for a day.

"Ralph, buddy, sorry to say but you're ruining MY grift. These idiots think I'll save America. Frankly I can't have a drunken pill popping sex offender around. No hard feelings"

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Ralph is a pig, as long as hes got a belly full of booze and benzos he’s happy.

He Can’t retire and him suggesting it is retarded. No one on this earth would pay Ethan enough to keep his belly full of benzos and keep a salary.

I think he just wanted his pay piglets to pay up some more, get some much needed asspats and maybe get a surprise visit from daddy Jim.

 

[Sewer Rat]

Ralph is a pig, as long as hes got a belly full of booze and benzos he’s happy.

He Can’t retire and him suggesting it is retarded. No one on this earth would pay Ethan enough to keep his belly full of benzos and keep a salary.

I think he just wanted his pay piglets to pay up some more, get some much needed asspats and maybe get a surprise visit from daddy Jim.

he wont ever retire because this is the only thing he can do, imagine Ralph working at literally anything else, it's imposible to even think about it.
Ralph should bend over backwards for his paypigs, I'm surprised he still has some loyal paypigas to make a shitty living in mexico for sitting drinking booze in front of a camera,

 

[Catboy Ranch Dressing]

Do you really think he can muster the arm strength to rack the slide on a modern handgun? The brainpower to eject and replace the cylinder on a revolver?

Plenty of women struggle with chambering their first round, and I guarantee you Ralph (the most womanly man I know) has never even touched a firearm in his life.

I mean Keffals already gave us a sneak preview of what Ralph with a gun would look like.

Ralph is a pig, as long as hes got a belly full of booze and benzos he’s happy.

He Can’t retire and him suggesting it is retarded. No one on this earth would pay Ethan enough to keep his belly full of benzos and keep a salary.

I think he just wanted his pay piglets to pay up some more, get some much needed asspats and maybe get a surprise visit from daddy Jim.

My personal theory is that Ralph was desperate for short-term cash to pay his bills that he Pantsu couldn't afford forgot to pay, so he tried to stir up some drama and pity bux like a true e-grifter.

 

[William Tyndale]

View attachment 4601624

Wow what a beautiful woman shooting that gun.

 

[AnOminous]

My personal theory is that Ralph was desperate for short-term cash

My personal theory is that Ralph is FAT!

 

[Catboy Ranch Dressing]

My personal theory is that Ralph is FAT!

My personal theory is that I would not have sex with him.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

View attachment 4601624
I mean Keffals already gave us a sneak preview of what Ralph with a gun would look like.


My personal theory is that Ralph was desperate for short-term cash to pay his bills that he Pantsu couldn't afford forgot to pay, so he tried to stir up some drama and pity bux like a true e-grifter.

But a man who was waving cash around like a fifteen year old ghetto nignog on FB couldn’t possibly be broke! Waving money around to demonstrate he is mucho rich! Mucho success!

I’m hoping Ralph’s pathetic cash flash had to do with the “lawyer” who is definitely going to fix his car registration problems, no problemo, only $500 American!

 

[darkprince56]

Ralph is an alcohol.

It should come to no surprise that he is going to have phases where he is alternatively depressed and angry.

He cannot retire. He will stay until he dies indeed, but not by choice. Because that's the only thing keeping him afloat right now. The only reason he has to get up in the mid afternoon.

He may have his moments of clarity where he realizes how much of a fuck up he has become, but he just can't stop. Even though it most likely would be the healthiest thing to do.

A living hell of his own creation. & he deserves every bit of it.

 

[Zaryiu2]

Lol as if anyone besides his paying believe his latest lie

 

[HeyU]

He's just driving to the southern border, it's just about 5 hours away.

Why’s he going there?

https://twitter.com/theralphretort/status/1628199302353895424?s=46&t=EvgGyPeIKT6f5fuqDCgL4w

It says:
Absolute flood of messages in my chat since I announced my retirement. Thank you so much!

I know I am a pioneer for so many of you!

ONE MORE LIVE NOW on COZY dot TV slash ETHAN RALPH!

EDIT: yeah yeah, I’m late. But I’m curious about this cozy/retirement thing. It seems like it came out of nowhere.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

Wait does her shirt read GUNTY down the side?

 

[bile demon]

I really hope the inevitable Ralphadeath won't be something boring and predictable like an overdose or a car crash. He needs to go out in style, 41 % himself in a manner fit for the undisputed king of the lolcow sector. Do any if the drugs he's on cause constipation? I'm thinking a heart attack on the toilet while trying to squeeze out a rock-solid turd would be a great way to go. Meigh wouldn't even have to call the ambulance, just page a local janny to come clean a 300 pound mound of shit that's stuck in the toilet and won't flush.

 

[break these cuffs]

Why’s he going there?

Ralph's nigger mobile is only be legal for 6 months at a time on a Temporary Import Permit. They moved to Mexico in early September, so February is month 6. Ralph needs to get a new one by presumably driving it across the border and then back to get a new temp permit. In the call to his lawyer he mentioned that doing it after March 3rd would be difficult. They must do it by month regardless of the day or the lawyer knows the bribe isn't too bad so long as you roll over to the next month. Chetumal is on the border with Belize and a 5 hour drive from Merida. I had always assumed a US car would have to cross the US border to get re-imported, but maybe not. The nearest US border is almost a 24 hour drive.

 

[reptile baht spaniard rid]

I had always assumed a US car would have to cross the US border to get re-imported, but maybe not. The nearest US border is almost a 24 hour drive.

Lots of visa related laws have things that just are in/out of the county, sometimes for a period of time, sometimes just for a moment. Or it could be as simple as you can't apply for TIP for a car that's currently in Mejico.

Actually kinda surprised the pigger went so damn far away, you can live just over the border from the US without any paperwork or anything, nobody gives any shits