Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[ZipDisk]

The marinara, salsa, and bathroom witticisms come from other people, Jack is just parroting them. But I guarantee he thinks he came up with them.

I would say Jack is the only person who gets excited when a gas station has a restaurant, but apparently that's super common now. Sbarro's is setting up shop in gas stations now.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Even though he can't go anywhere, Jack is still playing Pokemon Go instead of ya know actually working on getting out of the nursing home.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Even though he can't go anywhere, Jack is still playing Pokemon Go instead of ya know actually working on getting out of the nursing home.
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This is two things that Mushbrain doesn't like. Thinking and exercise.

 

[Sonic T]

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Jack, just because the poor soul recognized you doesn't mean they liked you.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Now I'm picturing Jack, head lolling, mouth sagging open, hopping in something like this, so thank you and goddamn you.

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They literally have these in some Bariatric Sections of Hospitals to help with physical therapy. They use Hoyer lifts to get Morbidly Obese people in and out of bed if they can't walk to lift them into a wheelchair or stretcher. These ones are specially designed to go under the legs like the baby swing they have straps with buckles that hook onto a machine with a pulley system this is all connected to a track system built into the ceiling. This way they have them stand and try to walk following the ceiling track with a walker but if they start to fall, they can hit a button and they're pulled up to prevent falling.

 

[AnOminous]

They literally have these in some Bariatric Sections of Hospitals to help with physical therapy. They use Hoyer lifts to get Morbidly Obese people in and out of bed if they can't walk to lift them into a wheelchair or stretcher. These ones are specially designed to go under the legs like the baby swing they have straps with buckles that hook onto a machine with a pulley system this is all connected to a track system built into the ceiling. This way they have them stand and try to walk following the ceiling track with a walker but if they start to fall, they can hit a button and they're pulled up to prevent falling.

Wouldn't it be easier just to euthanize them?

 

[Tiresome]

Wouldn't it be easier just to euthanize them?

Certainly, but that option has long been resisted by QSR lobbying concerns. The fast-food industry would be crippled without the great American landwhale. Jack's glee at discovering the hospital Subway is proof positive.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Wouldn't it be easier just to euthanize them?

I didn't know you were Canadian.

 

[p1138]

Jack, just because the poor soul recognized you doesn't mean they liked you.

Hell, I don't believe that happened. At best the person recognized him from one of the brian tsao or august the duck videos shitting on his cooking.

 

[salmonellajack]

I think he recognised him as Jack is in hospital every few months

 

[Fascist Frederick]

I'm sure Jack rolled into the place in his Tammy powered wheelchair and said to the guy behind the counter: "I'm Jack Ssschalfani hosssssht of the Jack on the go ssshhow" and the guy was like: "Wow no way" in the most monotone voice imaginable, and Jack thought "Yeah this guy totally knows me because I'm famous".

 

[Quixotic Man]

I'm sure Jack rolled into the place in his Tammy powered wheelchair and said to the guy behind the counter: "I'm Jack Ssschalfani hosssssht of the Jack on the go ssshhow" and the guy was like: "Wow no way" in the most monotone voice imaginable, and Jack thought "Yeah this guy totally knows me because I'm famous".

More like Jack didn't get enough Ranch dressing on his Chicken Bacon Cheese and Ranch Explosion Foot Long and pissilly slurred and muttered about being a VERY popular internet chef and reviewer. The worker gave several wows before adding half a bottle of fat sauce and shoving a free cookie in to his gnarled hand.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

More like Jack didn't get enough Ranch dressing on his Chicken Bacon Cheese and Ranch Explosion Foot Long and pissilly slurred and muttered about being a VERY popular internet chef and reviewer. The worker gave several wows before adding half a bottle of fat sauce and shoving a free cookie in to his gnarled hand.

Some part of me wants to invoke Occam's Razor and say, as they do, "r/thathappened" in response to his claim.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

More like Jack didn't get enough Ranch dressing on his Chicken Bacon Cheese and Ranch Explosion Foot Long and pissilly slurred and muttered about being a VERY popular internet chef and reviewer. The worker gave several wows before adding half a bottle of fat sauce and shoving a free cookie in to his gnarled hand.

If that's the case, the white viscous fluid the guy added to Jack's sandwissh wasn't Ranch...

 

[Falcon Sebben]

If that's the case, the white viscous fluid the guy added to Jack's sandwissh wasn't Ranch...

I'm sure Jagoff is familiar with the taste of semen. Not only does he get it from Hammy's bull but the way he complains and is such a bitch I'm pretty sure people deliberately mess up his order by jizzing all over it.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

Wouldn't it be easier just to euthanize them?

You think that's bad most days at a Nursing Facility with a Bari Hall, they'll just give them a basin bath but once a week they Hoyer them up put them on a Shower Stretcher it's like Shamu being moved at Sea World and then they're taken to the shower room, and they hose them down. So, calling people like Jack a Land Whale is not only appropriate it's accurate.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

I'm sure Jagoff is familiar with the taste of semen. Not only does he get it from Hammy's bull but the way he complains and is such a bitch I'm pretty sure people deliberately mess up his order by jizzing all over it.

If a restaurant serves you warm jizz you know everything else is going to be good.

 

[Fatty2988]

Four strokes > Cancer

 

[EvilDroid64]

Four strokes > Cancer

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FACT.

 

[Tiresome]

Four strokes > Cancer

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I wonder how many people who have had to go through a successful set of chemo or radiation would prefer it to permanently losing the use of an arm.