Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 791 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,390
Tammy’s having a nervous breakdown, apparently.
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Spoken like a truly pious and empathetic Christian man. That poor woman is in a facility to receive care, that she clearly needs, and he can't help but be an asshole about it. If he's so bothered by her screams, enough so that's making a bitch post about it, he could easily just get up and walk away... wait...
 
Dam, a few more weeks without his cooking.
Yes.... I know, I wish him a speedy recovery. At the very least I hope he can do a video of him crawling to the Hospital subway to do a review.

This thread has some of the best writing on the forum, it would genuinely be a great loss if the poor stupid fat fuck dies. I'm not joking I'm going to find a church and light a candle for his recovery.

For a few quid you can get a mass card and get an African church to say a mass? Who's in?
 
Yes.... I know, I wish him a speedy recovery. At the very least I hope he can do a video of him crawling to the Hospital subway to do a review.

This thread has some of the best writing on the forum, it would genuinely be a great loss if the poor stupid fat fuck dies. I'm not joking I'm going to find a church and light a candle for his recovery.

For a few quid you can get a mass card and get an African church to say a mass? Who's in?
If it's a normal nursing care/TCU then he's surrounded by African/Dominican/Jamacians anyway
 
And more than a few Thai folks since that Subway menu had Thai letter above the English words.
That photo wasn’t Jack’s. It’s the second result when you lookup ‘Subway’ on google images.
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Looks like we have the first pic of him post-stroke #(2?)
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Just speculating but I think Jack's latest stroke wiped out even more neurological function on his right side along with new onset left leg weakness that hinders his ability to walk/waddle around. Looks like his left arm still works judging by how he took that selfie. I wonder if Tammy is gonna install one of those bariatric lifts for fatass in the house. Even if they move to a smaller house i dont see how Tammy can take care of him consistently. She is herself a fatass who is probably a few years away from crippling knee and hip osteroarthritis.
 
Just speculating but I think Jack's latest stroke wiped out even more neurological function on his right side along with new onset left leg weakness that hinders his ability to walk/waddle around. Looks like his left arm still works judging by how he took that selfie. I wonder if Tammy is gonna install one of those bariatric lifts for fatass in the house. Even if they move to a smaller house i dont see how Tammy can take care of him consistently. She is herself a fatass who is probably a few years away from crippling knee and hip osteroarthritis.
Given the height of the hospital bed next to him, the selfie was almost certainly taken in his wheelchair. It's probably a 50/50 proposition whether we'll ever see a Scalfani waddle ever again. If Brianna was smart she'd run as fast as her legs could carry her before she's needled to quit her education/career to be live in caregiver to a couple of East Pacific belugas.
 
IIRC, I read a report 10 years ago that claimed Subway was even unhealthier in comparison other fast food chains despite its pretentious claims of healthiness since the processed meats were full of nitrates and sodium. Processed meats also increase the risk of colon cancer and bowel issues.

How Jack hasn't developed a serious inflammatory disease like diverticulitis is beyond me. God, I don't even want to know Jack's bathroom habits. The toilet must smell like the pits of hell after he uses it. :c

After seeing his current strokeface, I look forward to the next JotG. It'll be Jack and Microsoft Sam going through the Wendy's drive thru on his scootypuff.
I cannot wait to see Jagoff use Microsoft Sam. An obsolete 20 something year old computer programme that isn't even capable of pronouncing the simplest of words. I'm already envisioning him at a Panda Express desperately struggling to order soy sauce whilst the TTS voice mispronounces it as "swah" sauce. :popcorn:

Edit: Some of the words MS Sam isn't able to say
 
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Watching his videos, what I find really disturbing in hindsight is his fundamental misunderstanding of how the science of cooking works. Most cooks don't know "food science" but they get a general sense of what works from experience and common sense, but Jack totally lacks that. Things like undercooking meat, not understanding how bacteria grows, not understanding how flavors are meant to compliment or contrast, or how some things just don't go together, and even the little things like making "pineapple jello" with actual pineapples and lemon jello; pineapple is really acidic, so the jello won't set. (Some canned brands aren't acidic enough to break it down but he never even mentions that and the jello always looks very watery so nvm). Not understanding how quickly calories, sodium and other bad stuff can quickly pile up when you recklessly mix things together, etc.

All of it paints a portrait of someone who just simply doesn't understand how food works, and just throws stuff together haphazardly rather than actually cooks. I'm not surprised he gave himself multiple strokes chugging 12 energy drinks a day, he probably didn't even think for a second about potentially overdosing on caffeine.

His understanding of food science is on par with a 16th century plague doctor's understand of medical science, and the results are just as disastrous.
 
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