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- Feb 14, 2023
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TiF's based toddler loudly yells that daddy doesn't have a penis in a changing room after seeing an old photo of her pre-transition.
Any dads out there who began their transition before their kids were born?
TL;DR: How did you explain your transness to your kids that were born after you started T, and at what age?
Years before I came to terms with being trans, I wrestled with the idea of parenthood and acknowledged, out loud, that I would make a lousy mom, but a kickass dad.
Anyway, fast forward to today: I have an almost 8 yo step daughter and a 2.5 yo bio son that my wife carried thanks to SCIENCE! I've been on T for 5 years. Obviously my SD knows I'm trans (although she forgets sometimes, which is funny), but my son not so much.
I have a framed picture on the wall, one of very few pre-T pictures that I can stand to look at, of me at 25 holding a 36lb king salmon that I'd just caught. The cis male fishing boat captain is standing next to me. I love fishing, and I love the picture. My son used to look at pre-T me in the picture and say "That's Daddy!" But he didn't really have a concept of gender at the time and he's now starting to grasp it.
Today he looked at the picture and said "That's Mommy and Daddy!" I asked him who he thought was daddy and he pointed to the cis man. I said no, mommy's not in this picture, this is Daddy when I was younger. I looked a lot different then!"
He's already very loudly declared in a public pool changing room "Daddy! You don't have a pen*s!" (which he already knew) much to my horror.
At what age did you start talking to your kids about the fact that you were trans? What did you say? I've already started saying things like "Not all boys have..." and "Not all girls have..." etc, so I feel like we've at least broached that topic, but I'm not sure where to go with the rest of it.
Thanks y'all
TL;DR “I created another human being but didn’t bother thinking about how to manage his confusion”