Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[neutral grandpa]

It would be funny (albeit it terrifying and oppressive) if we did live in Lucas's incel-marxist governance style where the government assigned mandated girlfriends to each according to his needs, and Lucas would still be mad that other dudes ended up with prettier and/or younger girlfriends or that he actually needs a whole harem of teenage girls...

If Lucas lived in the type of society that he thinks he wants to, one like the former soviet union or north korea, he would just be locked up and taken away forever. No more complaining, no more internet access, no more sitting around all day not working. Any kind of one party, all powerful communist government wouldnt allow a waste of space like Lucas to go on as he has for like 20 years.

 

[AnOminous]

I was about to call "bullshit" on that claim, but then looked up Kylie Jenner's age and realized she's like 26, so a few years too old for Lucas "age of consent memes" Werner...

(that being said we all know he'd still jump at the opportunity of dating a rich celeb woman he can mooch off of and anally fist...)

Does Lucas understand fisting is an extreme fetish activity the vast majority of people have zero interest in participating in? Even gay men, who are the most likely to do it, mostly prefer not to. It's painful, you can get permanently injured, and most people just would not even consider it.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

Taken from the Lucas Werner Brokeposting FB page. Chef Lucas "Dr. Nigga Luke" is back at it with award winning dishes. Behold! White bread covered in a bunch of random condiments. Plenty good! Why, yes, ladies, he is unmarried.

View attachment 4657120

After a year taking a break from the Wern, his cinnamon shart toast is the first thing I see. Still rutting, still slummin, like the birds in the sky and the sun in the sky.

 

[Twrx]

Does Lucas understand fisting is an extreme fetish activity the vast majority of people have zero interest in participating in? Even gay men, who are the most likely to do it, mostly prefer not to. It's painful, you can get permanently injured, and most people just would not even consider it.

No, because he has one of the worst cases of main character syndrome around. All that matters is him. His wants, his needs, his desires. Everyone must accept and adapt to it.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

Taken from the Lucas Werner Brokeposting FB page. Chef Lucas "Dr. Nigga Luke" is back at it with award winning dishes. Behold! White bread covered in a bunch of random condiments. Plenty good! Why, yes, ladies, he is unmarried.

View attachment 4657120

Even in my lowest drunk and stoned moments, living at the poorest point of my life, would I have ever thought to consume something this disgusting.

 

[The I Scream Man]

Even in my lowest drunk and stoned moments, living at the poorest point of my life, would I have ever thought to consume something this disgusting.

I've been pretty hammered and done some unkind things to eggs but yeah, that's a bit much

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Does Lucas understand fisting is an extreme fetish activity the vast majority of people have zero interest in participating in?

No, he doesn't.
Or he doesn't care to think about it that way, because HE wants to shove his MRSA fist into a teenage girl therefore she should want him to do such, because in Lucas's view the world should concern itself with giving Lucas what HE wants...

No, because he has one of the worst cases of main character syndrome around. All that matters is him. His wants, his needs, his desires. Everyone must accept and adapt to it.

This, basically.

Lucas's older posts bitching and moaning with ultimatums like "if you want to be my friend" or "if you want to help me" were very telling.
As if the rest of the people reading his posts concerned themselves with "how can I make Lucas happy today?" "how can I help Lucas today?"

 

[unexpected onions]

I'm assuming it's because he was watching chopped so yeah, he thinks he's being fancy.

I don't know, when he was making cooking videos with the toaster oven he put about half of the seasoning on the food, 25% around it and the rest all over the table and floor, so I'm not so sure that it's on purpose. He just has zero coordination.

 

[Club Sandwich]

it's quite the downgrade to go from sushi, steak, et c to seasonings and sauces on white bread or bagged tortilla chips with sliced cheese (presumably melted) on top. i'm convinced Lucas has sensory processing issues concerning flavor - either taste and/or smell. related, it's quite clear to me that he's in denial about his physical health and seemingly would rather die believing he's completely fit and desirable than face an uncomfortable reality he has no ability to protect his ego from injury.

 

[Vi0l3t]

Even in my lowest drunk and stoned moments, living at the poorest point of my life, would I have ever thought to consume something this disgusting.

I'd rather just have plain ol butter toast or sprinkle sugar/cinnamon, way better th an his disgusting toast

 

[Todd Weiss]

View attachment 4651486

Family (noun) 1. A group of one or more parents and their children living together as a unit.
"the family lived in a large house with a lot of land"

For Lucas Werner, the term "family" takes on a different meaning:: unfettered access to one's daughter for narcissistic supply and recurring sexual abuse..
"Luke doesn't have a family; thank fuck he never will."

 

[Fatal Walter]

I think this is the picture that made it the most obvious he's putting condiments on the plate on purpose. But I'm sure wearing the big dirty bum jacket and letting it touch his food wasn't helping back in the toaster oven days either.

 

[Club Sandwich]

obvious he's putting condiments on the plate on purpose

and has a concept of cooking as "combine ingredients that i want to eat together", "use a bunch of spices so i can't taste the food and only the spices", and "use too high heat for too long".

i bet he licks the top of salt/pepper shakers.

 

[HackerX]

I'd rather just have plain ol butter toast or sprinkle sugar/cinnamon, way better th an his disgusting toast

One could tolerate one, maybe 2 different seasonings on a piece of bread. He put everything he could possibly find. I thought the cheese layered chips were bad, but I don't think a normal person could even swallow one bite of whatever the fuck he made.

It's like he took the dumb 'white people don't know what seasoning is' meme and decided to do the inverse.

The only saving grace is we know he's not wasting food, it's all plenty good.

 

[Da Dude123]

The moooo cow is back it. Of course credit goes out to the FB Page, "Lucas Werner Brokeposting" . He got a hold of more chips and cheese. He is all about putting American cheese on everything these days. And lots of it, of course. He probably ate this whole thing in one sitting.

 

[Stinkyboy]

View attachment 4666266
I think this is the picture that made it the most obvious he's putting condiments on the plate on purpose. But I'm sure wearing the big dirty bum jacket and letting it touch his food wasn't helping back in the toaster oven days either.

Thats…. Actually cooked to an ok doneness
Not pink enough for me, and that crust of burnt spices….

 

[BowlOfDick]

So apparently Lucas used to have a LinkedIn.

Truthfinder found some info from its cache and there’s some gold here.

 

[Stafford Beer Bong]

So apparently Lucas used to have a LinkedIn.

Truthfinder found some info from its cache and there’s some gold here.

View attachment 4678352

If he put this out 10 years later it would include ‘Social Media Influencer’.

 

[wenttobermuda]

So apparently Lucas used to have a LinkedIn.

Truthfinder found some info from its cache and there’s some gold here.

View attachment 4678352

Interesting, condensed dose of Wern close to his peak. He's highlighting his million dollar t-shirt design, which likely dates this account to his FB atheist phase. He was very fat, and very eager to own creationists with facts and logic.

"independent research" is a charitable description of Lucas’s method. I've always appreciated how he thinks of himself as an autodidact, as opposed to the boring reality of being an ignorant HS dropout. Lucas is not recognized for his independence. He has never been able to function as an adult. "Independent" is a dignified way of acknowledging that Lucas has no education and is affiliated with nothing. "Research" suggests the various obsessions he claims authority over (e.g telomeres).

 

[Disgruntled Pupper]

He seems to be completely back to his old eating habits. I'm guessing after the eye situation he decided it wasn't worth it since his half-assed attempts to eat more veggies didn't undo decades of damage and he's still declining. We'll see if this speeds up the slow march to the grave.