MUTED.

Yet even in the reflection of another pair of hideous sunglasses Salah looks like a broken man. The Beezers have rushed in!
"Good morning guys!" It's a COFFEE BEEZE! Spanish latte with ice and one cold mocha! Which one will Chantal be allowed to daintily sip while we drive to the desert that Chantal truly loves!
"I love the desert!" Ma'am I think you mean dessert.
"I love coffee!" We are showing off a new necklace and slamming that ring into the camera like Pee trying to deepthroat a pony. Why is no one noticing this amazing piece of jewelry that
Chantal Salah obviously bought for
herself his Beezer Queen!? Salah gives about as many fucks as a man trying to avoid the noxious scent of an unperfumed Gunt, he is focused on the most important thing...that Chantal bought them new microphones that work on the bluetooth! She forgot them though.
"I'm very forgetful though, right babe?"

RIGHT BABE!? Babe of Life! Babe of the Vanishing Lips!? Super forgetful right!?
"Yes."

He really loves her.
X.
Nobody is noticing this AMAZING necklace but they have noticed that Muslimtal is not wearing her black containment abaya. Did you know that you don't have to wear an abaya? Did you know that you don't need to wear the niqab? Were you all aware that she can still be MODesT while wearing a long plaid shirt that makes the filters have a stroke and start making plaid into the waves coming off a mirage?
"I got this shirt at...it was a modest clothing shop in Ottawa" It was Penningtons. "They know what needs to be covered." All of you, with at least 6 feet of dirt. This is fine though, that nobody is noticing the new necklace! They did notice the outfit though, her amazing outfit. Just like the good boy that he is, Salah is getting the iced choccy milk.
"Uh...what's like a tunic? Like a long shirt?" English Majortal in action again. Dessert beezin in like, what's a tunic!
"Like you're allowed to wear like what you want technically but I know like women dress modestly here!" Remember, she's a Muslimah now and isn't quite sure what a Spanish Latte is either.

No matter. We'll burkini beeze later.
Salah is experiencing the only fleeting moment of joy he has felt since touchdown and modest hugging:

Mumtal's boys sure do love their sugary drinks.
Salah is excited that the VIB have noticed that he can speak more than one language, or at least appropriately pronounce conversational Russian and has a decent grasp of Mexican Spanish as opposed to Castilian. Chantal is not. The VIB keep trying to ask Salah questions and he is attempting to explain mahram but instead claiming that it means her male family will help her, not that it is a regressive practice to prevent inbreeding and segregate women so that only men who are mahram to her may shop with, escort, or speak for her in public. We're learning!

The sky is so nice!
X.
Chantal is sick already of the VIB asking about the ring, she has posted all the pROoF that she pawned that piece of shit or had to get it cut off her dainty hoof.
"Whenever you have enough time for hours to talk bad about people instead of improving your life," Salah rudely cuts in, forgetting that nobody actually cares about him.

Thank goodness there's this lovely scenery to distract from the fact that we will no longer be addressing the ring controversy. We're deflecting with conversation about Harry and how lovely it is to be hOmE. We might even get to see camels, and sheep, and dogs! Real life animals!
Pissed off that nobody has noticed the new necklace Our Lady of Poutine is bringing up a different piece of trash costume jewelry that she obtained while pining over He Who Shall Not Be Named.
"Did I pack that naughty boss necklace?" Nobody cares.
"People have different laws here regarding animals." Halal slaughter.
"See babe, in the Western World people are much more concerned about animals, more concerned than about people!" Ma'am you're straying very close to invoking cat sperging. Salah is sharing a story about how he stopped his car to allow a cat to cross the street because they are worth half your deen and hold great cultural importance.
"Look at all the sheeps, and goats!"

...
"I'm losing a little bit of weight because of all the...well I'm eating less and I haven't been eating as much, making an effort..."
MA'AM.
Nobody cares.
<Snip further VIB Bullshit>