Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Tiresome]

What the fuck even is this photo?! There is such a dark fucking energy coming from this image.

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This is a photo accompanying an SCP project file.

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

This is a photo accompanying an SCP project file.

The un-shampooed carpet gives it serious Backrooms vibes.

Siderant: there's nothing I hate more than a house listed north of $350K and stained shitty carpets show up in the photo set. Have some fucking dignity. I can only assume Jackoffs HOA agreement does not address the carpets.

 

[realgone2]

This is a photo accompanying an SCP project file.

oh Jack is for sure SCP worthy.

 

[Dondeld Dock]

What the fuck even is this photo?! There is such a dark fucking energy coming from this image.

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If that chair is Jack's it probably reeks so badly they pushed it to the corner because nobody wanted to touch it.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

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Oh no, not juicy enough. Unlike this drippin' blood and guts piece of cancer:

Old folks homes are predominantly for *drum roll* old folks. Old folks have shit immune systems. Salmonella can fucking kill them. They have to extra sure they cook the shit out of everything so they don't kill anyone, you self centered shit stain.

Since when does Jack get off being this damn critical of food? we've seen him burn the shit out of tons of dishes and still happily scarf them down. You just know if his food came out looking like that it'd be "pretty gud".

They probably give him the shittiest pieces anyway, just because they hate him. Hurry up and stoke out again faggot.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Since when does Jack get off being this damn critical of food? we've seen him burn the shit out of tons of dishes and still happily scarf them down. You just know if his food came out looking like that it'd be "pretty gud".

Have you seen Jack on the go, he always is critical of food, whining about petty shit like not enough meat or the food doesn't look like the picture

 

[Pig Cups]

That’s where junior laid down his beats in his race car chair


Is the house even occupied? It looks pretty sterile and empty even for staged realtor mls photos. Is Hammy staying with Gym?

I see you piggy! [OBJ][OBJ]

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Lol look at that lonely treadmill.

I guarantee that neither Landwhale, nor Hambeast, ever used that thing after it was delivered as part of a new year’s resolution. I’d say it’s likelier that it was placed there by the real estate agent as part of staging.

 

[biggacracka]

Since when does Jack get off being this damn critical of food? we've seen him burn the shit out of tons of dishes and still happily scarf them down. You just know if his food came out looking like that it'd be "pretty gud".

You just KNOW that if they served him undercooked chicken he would get angy and rage about how it's "unsafe" that they serve this to residents.
Jack is a hypocrite in everything he does. That's his only consistent trait

 

[TV's Adam West]

Jack might have lost the use of his legs.

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Yeah, that's fitting, I can't stand you either, Jack.

 

[stets]

The house listing has been updated with a new description that says there's another open house this Sunday.

***OPEN HOUSE Sun 03/12 from 2-4pm. Beautiful, spacious home in Manskers Farms awaits a new family. Ideal location only mins to restaurants, shopping, park, golf, hospital, & I 65 access. Beautiful floors, built-in shelving, & trim work. Spacious living area w/ soaring ceilings & cozy fireplace, opens to large eat-in kitchen w/ plenty of counter space for preparing family meals together. This truly is a Chef's kitchen as featured on YouTube cooking show "Cooking with Jack". Primary suite on main level w/ separate shower/tub. Lots of natural light throughout. Large open bonus room upstairs. Covered patio & large deck are perfect for entertaining. This home sits on almost 1/4 acre w/ fenced backyard that backs up to wooded area w/ mature trees, very private! Sumner county schools.​

This means Mushbrain and Hammy did not get an offer they liked enough to accept after the first open house.

That’s not really surprising. It’s no longer a seller’s market with inflation and higher interest rates, plus the house is overpriced. It’ll probably sit there for a while.

It would be fucking hilarious if a young, yuppy black couple ultimately wanted to buy it and made an offer, and jack chimped out. Even if it was a great offer, jack would feel like darkies were trying to steal it from him.

What the fuck even is this photo?! There is such a dark fucking energy coming from this image.

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Jesus Christ, people - move Junior’s dumpy $75 wish.com gaming chair out of the shot before you take a picture. Better yet, just toss the thing and shampoo the slim jim grease and gamer fuel out of the carpets. I like how they painted the room purple after they patched junior rage holes in the wall. Purple is a pretty gay color and junior loves underage cock. It’s very appropriate.

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

Has he said anything else about this yet? I View attachment 4722693 the suspense.

Can some jannie make that my php?

For a while he was pretending he could still drive. You can see in multiple videos he’s filming in his car but flipped the video so it looks like he’s in the driver’s seat. Even when he met Rob he pretended he drove the truck by himself.

That’s because they are on Medicaid,

Jack won’t get Medicaid unless Hammy leaves him.

 

[TheMovieGuy]

damn i didnt know jack scalfani was black this entire time

EDP Cameo

God forbid his brother only believes in things that can be backed up with evidence!!!!!

The irony of Jack complaining about his brother's approach to understanding reality and then also making it clear that only the specific version of god he believes in is true (without any justification)

To be fair you don't need evidence to know Jehovah's Witnesses are insane

 

[Kermit Jizz]

Have you seen Jack on the go, he always is critical of food, whining about petty shit like not enough meat or the food doesn't look like the picture

Yeah, but that's always a complaint about quantity. He 's always been happy to shove fistfuls of garbage down his throat.

 

[AnOminous]

There’s also a wonderful place called Dignitas outside of Zürich. We can visit and sample some of their special “drinks.” And if the drinks are too bitter, guess what? They give you MORE CHOCOLATE!! C’mon, I’ll book the flights!”

I know someone who went there. For very good reasons, after checking off a lot of bucket list items, with an absolutely awful terminal illness. Jack doesn't deserve Dignitas. He deserves to die gurgling and screaming as the Wendigo demands he eat another strip mall burrito.

 

[Pig Cups]

He deserves to die gurgling and screaming as the Wendigo demands he eat another strip mall burrito.

He deserves to be locked in a cell with a wolverine that’s high on angel dust.

And that single, remaining arm is all he has to defend himself with.

 

[Guntanator]

You just know he tells the staff about his YouTube channel as if they even care. I wonder how many have looked him up and had the pleasure of being as horrified as the rest of us. Semper Fi to the med staff that has to tolerate this inconsiderate jackass. I hope for their sake he just gtfo of there asap.

 

[Pig Cups]

You just know he tells the staff about his YouTube channel as if they even care. I wonder how many have looked him up and had the pleasure of being as horrified as the rest of us. Semper Fi to the med staff that has to tolerate this inconsiderate jackass. I hope for their sake he just gtfo of there asap.

I like to picture a group of staff gathered around a computer monitor in the floor’s nursing station, watching episodes of Jackshows with both laughter and disgust. “HAHAHAHAHA hey Rich, get a load of this fucking abomination that Scalfani assembled!!”

After all, laughter is the best medicine, right? It’d be great if the constant plugging of his YouTube channel led to him becoming the butt of all the workplace humor going on there. “The patient in 402 emptied her bowels before convulsing and dying. Gonna need a new mattress. Still, as bad as it was, I’d give it 7 Scalfanis out of 10.”

 

[Uber driver reviewer]

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Confirmation Tammy is sneaking in food for Jack. She really wants him dead, huh? (no clocks needed)

Double Intammyity confirmed

 

[Fata v3]

The house listing has been updated with a new description that says there's another open house this Sunday.

***OPEN HOUSE Sun 03/12 from 2-4pm. Beautiful, spacious home in Manskers Farms awaits a new family. Ideal location only mins to restaurants, shopping, park, golf, hospital, & I 65 access. Beautiful floors, built-in shelving, & trim work. Spacious living area w/ soaring ceilings & cozy fireplace, opens to large eat-in kitchen w/ plenty of counter space for preparing family meals together. This truly is a Chef's kitchen as featured on YouTube cooking show "Cooking with Jack". Primary suite on main level w/ separate shower/tub. Lots of natural light throughout. Large open bonus room upstairs. Covered patio & large deck are perfect for entertaining. This home sits on almost 1/4 acre w/ fenced backyard that backs up to wooded area w/ mature trees, very private! Sumner county schools.​

This means Mushbrain and Hammy did not get an offer they liked enough to accept after the first open house.

It wouldn't be unusual to have 6 or 8 open homes (two a week). What is unusual is to sell the house after just one unless it's a very hot market, but even then you would want more to extract the most value through suitors.

Have a look back when they bought it - 5months between listing and sold date. Not sure if there is a settlement period included there but lets day that was 2 months, so 3 months on the market back in 2014

 

[Polska krowa]

To be fair you don't need evidence to know Jehovah's Witnesses are insane

True, but Jack is a pentacostal, so is he really in a position to judge?