Aella Interview
Let This Hilarious Camgirl Explain How Being Funny Can Get You Laid
If you ask a woman what she finds attractive in a man, one of
the first traits that come up is inevitably sense of humor. That’s something guys can overlook, focusing instead on typical alpha characteristics like strength and good looks. But last year
Glamour magazine polled its readers as to who the sexiest man on earth was, and at No. 1 was Ashton Kutcher. The year before,
People crowned Bradley Cooper, and neither of those guys were typically “hunks” — they’re mostly funny dudes.
To help make a bit of sense of this, I got in touch with Aella Girl (her real first name is Aelia), one of the internet’s best known cam girls. She’s also a perfect example of a woman combining sex and humor, ever since she became a Reddit star in 2013 with her elaborately-staged photoshoot of her being kidnapped (while naked) that she posted to
R/gonewild (post obviously NSFW). Since then, in addition to her regular gig of
camming online (yep, NSFW again) , she was also one of the stars of the
Cam Girlz (somewhat SFW) documentary, where she notably danced as a squirreltaco.
1. Biologically Speaking, You Need To Be Funny
A recent study found that
funny people have better orgasms, and a study a couple of years back, more exactly, found out that men could “
laugh women into bed.” On the flip side, some commentators have gone so far as to say that biologically speaking, “
women aren’t funny. ” So what gives?
“It’s more important more men to be funny. I know it’s stereotypical but I don’t give a sh*t because it’s true. I believe that women have to put in less effort because men come to them,” she says. It boils down to a biological imperative,” she says.
Now, as an aspiring comedian herself, she’s not arguing that
women aren’t funny, or can’t be funny. Just that society dictates men have to be better at it.
“Men are the pursuers and this isn’t just our society this is the way it’s been across all cultures for all of known history. Men have to put in the effort to win a woman and humor is the sort of humor they have to put out, just like peacocking. It’s displaying social skills. It’s displaying to a woman that I will have more fun with you than another person. It’s less important for women, because it’s easier for a woman to get laid.”
2. Humor Helps You Appear More Confident
Despite the (sometimes) stereotype of funny guys being neurotic or anxious, being funny can actually deliver the opposite impression. Guys using
funny openerson dating sites is just one example, she says, that works.
“I’m on OKCupid a lot. And if someone opens up with a joke, that doubles my chances of being interested.”
The reason? It all boils down to confidence, and that extends way beyond the world of just online dating.
“It lets me know if you’re easygoing. Because it’s difficult to let me joke around if you’re really stressed. Joking is a way of signalling to me that you’re confident and that you’re not anxious about me or the date that we’re on. And that makes me feel like you’re confident, and that maybe you could be having other women if you want, and that you don’t really care, and that makes me more interested.”
3. Humor Itself Isn’t Sexy — But It Can Make You More Sexy
“The sensation of humor isn’t directly arousing. People don’t typically go to comedy shows and get boners,” says Aella. “But humor leads to a better contextual appreciation of a person. If you find someone funny, you’re more likely to find their nudity more sexy, which is why you can turned on by your girlfriend and not anybody else.
4. What Women Are Looking For
Just because women enjoy humor, it doesn’t mean you should show up with canned jokes or memorize a Chris Rock routine before showing up on a date.
“The art of being funny is a bit difficult. It’s hard to put your finger on it. Surprising is usually good. You don’t have to be someone who is going to be consistently hilarious all the time. But I usually like to have a witty back and forth with [guys] if I can. I’m not looking for someone who’s a comedian who’s going to slay the house. But I like someone who can keep up with the jokes I make and make them back. And to keep up with my level of silliness, and I’m a very silly person.”
5. What To Do If You’re Not Funny
There’s no “secret” to being funny, and no real way to teach it. Being able to be funny often comes from acceptance of who you are.
“You have to first not reject yourself. Your humor is good if you find it funny. And that it when I find myself funny genuinely, then I stop caring about others finding funny. If you find something so funny that you’re confident enough to put it out there because you think it’s good, then other people can sense that and are drawn to it,” she said.
“And that might come from just exposing yourself to better comedy, or trying to become more appreciative of humor.You just gotta loosen up. Realize that the world is one big joke, and that nothing is really serious.”
6. Humor Isn’t Everything
“Just because you’re not funny doesn’t mean you’re not going to get laid. It would definitely help. But it’s not going to kill you either. You have to look at other aspects to
attract a woman, namely confidence, or skills, typically confidence that you can make a woman happier. It’s not just going to be humor that gets you laid. If you’re lacking in [those] other areas, you’re kind of f*cked. Or actually, you’re not f*cked at all,” she says.
“The journey to successfully attract a woman is not learning how to attract a woman. The trick to being funnier and more confident, is finding outcome independence, to come to the realization that you’re going to be happy no matter what happens. And finding your own self-worth is a complicated thing. and if you can do that, it helps your awkwardness go away, and naturally help you be better at being funny.”
