Funny stories about your period

[Space Oddity]

Not a funny story, but a wholesome one:

This happened in college when I attended a small class. It was the end of the class, I got up to pack my bags and the girl behind me noticed a huge bloodstain on my pants (light blue jeans, rip).

It was the first time something like this happened and I was so embarassed. But instead of laughing, all the girls offered their support. And I didn't even know them! They gave me a few pads, gave tips on how to wash out the stain and one girl even lended me her scarf so that I could hide the stain by wrapping it around me.

They all came together as women and supported me. Idk it's a moment that really stuck with me.

 

[rotpocket]

I have a college story too lmao. So I was having a side effect from birth control pills that was making me bleed like crazy with massive clots, I mean, these things were size of my palm, crazy experience and did think I was gonna die, and I had switched to a Diva Cup because tampons and pads weren't doing the job. Anyways, one day I'd eaten a shitty microwave burrito, and it hit my system in the middle of a lab class and I excused myself to use the bathroom.

It took me awhile between the poop, clots, cleaning off the Diva cup,, trying to calm myself down because not supposed to bleed like that, etc., and when I got back to class the supervisor aide lady was like, "What took you so long?" I'd been gone maybe 10 minutes.

I looked at her incredulously and went, " I had a burrito for lunch. " I mean, I didn't know what else to say, figured that'd be self explanatory, didn't want to over share, and she goes into a rant that can be summed up as, " You can't leave class to eat a burrito! "

It took me a moment to absorb what she said, and all I could say was, " I took a shit."

Class laughed, she never asked again- dunno why she would in the first place.

Btw, diva cups are miracle products if you get them situated right, reusable, you don't feel them in, no leaks, and it doesn't smell awful when you remove them because the blood doesn't oxidize and get that nasty smell. Also helps you measure how much you're bleeding and figure out what's normal for you, and for me they helped with cramps.

 

[William Tyndale]

I told a friend in high school that her period had bled all over her pants because she was unaware. She later came back to thank me because she had forgotten that she put a tampon in because she usually wore pads. Apparently toxic shock syndrome was something common in her family so she mentioned I might have actually saved her life by telling her that. Not sure if it’s true or not but that’s what she said. I originally asked why this thread exists but it probably makes tyrannies seethe so I’m ok with it.

 

[Sweetpeaa]

**Sperging**

By the age of 11 I was in a deep state of fear over getting my first period. I didn't know when it was coming but it was right around the corner for my age at the time. I went into the pre-teen section in my town's public library and started hoarding those ''your changing body books''. I remember sitting in the backseat of my Mother's car and crying reading the book thinking to myself ''my childhood would be over and this period thing would ruin my life''. I think I knew subconsciously that menstruation was going to be a hell ride for me and that was driving the fear. Both my Mother and Grandmother had fibroid's so heavy bleeding runs in the family.

Anyway.. the day it finally came was during a school assembly listening to a Thalidomide baby with no arms talk about his life story. I looked on the ground sitting on the chair to see a red puddle forming below me. Jesus fucking christ, I mean you'd never seen anything like this. I was wearing a light pink tracksuit that day and I was soaked from the back and literally all down my legs with blood. What the fuck? it was every bit as bad, if not worse, that I feared. I had to stay behind for the other kids and teachers to leave so people wouldn't see the extent of it. Luckily I was able to take off the top part of my track suit and literally wipe up the blood. What a nightmare. A few years later I had an ultrasound at 15 for bleeding being too heavy, The reason: Fibroids.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I've been having these really efficient periods recently. From my records:

spotting
spotting
10mL
120mL
25mL
10mL
spotting

That day in the middle can get pretty intense. I hope this trend continues, though, and it gets to a point where I can just grunt out an inverted pear of endometrium once a month, like laying a meat egg.

 

[Quack_Quack]

Mine have decided being a month long is fun! It's not cos there's some gnarly clots

 

[RoyalPrincess]

I can write horror stories only,I'm sorry.

 

[haglover]

Not a personal story: one time in school I saw a girl doing the most humiliated walk out of the toilet, I went in there and it looked like someone had been shot from above, it was on the floor on both sides of the toilet and the bin was full of shitty one ply tissues soaked through. It was fucking disgusting but I can't think of it without laughing, poor girl and poor janitors.
Personal story that's only funny in retrospect: When I was like 12 I thought it was normal for tampons to cause excruciating pain but turns out I just had a fucked up hymen

 

[fenny]

When I was twelve, we were planning on spending spring break/Easter with my grandma and the cousins who live in the same town. The morning we leaving, literally heading out the door with the last of the suitcases, the phone rang. I am a pessimist and always have been. In a movie, what would this call be about? Something dramatic and bad, right? Grandma's dead? That was my assumption, so I sat right the fuck back down because I knew. And I was right. My 12 year old cousin had called our grandma that morning and she didn't pick up the phone (which was unusual since she was one of those wake up at 5 am for yard sales church ladies), so he walked across town to check on her and found her dead in bed. So this trip turns into funeral, and I get my first period during it. I remember sitting in the bathroom at her church just thinking, "Really? Really? On top of everything else, this?" and being so pissed off. So I wad up some toilet paper and shove it in my underwear and go back to awkwardly eating cake with my cousins at the reception. Get back to grandma's house, thank fuck there were tampons under the sink, figured that shit out real quick. My mom later finds my bloody underwear because I frankly forgot about it and asks me if "someone hurt me." Wtf? "No, I just started my period." Learned some dark shit about that side of the family. Great vacation.

Tldr; plan to spend holiday with grandma, she dies the morning we leave, get first period at her funeral, find out there's a molester in the family the same day

 

[Aunt Carol]

Tldr; plan to spend holiday with grandma, she dies the morning we leave, get first period at her funeral, find out there's a molester in the family the same day

Your menarche sounds awful, but so cinematic! It could be one of those quirky and introspective coming-of-age movies. You'd just need to add a bunch of scenes of people staring out car windows while the soundtrack plays and it's a slam-dunk.

 

[Horse Dentist]

Tldr; plan to spend holiday with grandma, she dies the morning we leave, get first period at her funeral, find out there's a molester in the family the same day

The 12yos in your family sound capable as fuck, damn!

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

I have something slighty funny: Yesterday,

Spoiler: pcos info

I streaked and spotted. Now, nothing but

now have slight stomach and head cramps because of homemade strawberry lemonade!. Damn my love for anything besides water.

 

[Aunt Carol]

The 12yos in your family sound capable as fuck, damn!

Back in the day, kids would just walk or bike across town, no big deal. Depending on the year and the size/type of town, 12 seems reasonable to free-range over to Grandma's.

 

[Patrick Bait-man]

This thread is icky.

 

[CornBogFitz]

OP is Johnathan Yaniv larping. Don't tell him your period stories. HES MASTURBATING TO THEM

 

[Paul Atreides]

When I first realized I was trans I was too poor for surgery so I lit a stick of dynamite and put it in my pants. My entire crotch area was blown to bits and there was blood everywhere.
That was my first period

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

When I first realized I was trans I was too poor for surgery so I lit a stick of dynamite and put it in my pants. My entire crotch area was blown to bits and there was blood everywhere.
That was my first period

Either this is the manliest method to induce a period, or the most stupid. How did you survive?!

 

[Princess Terf Bong]

I zoned out in the toilet halfway through a long shift of tard wrangling and managed to drop a very full Mooncup. Called the bloke to drop me over some fresh clothes as I was covered in blood and he assumed I had been assaulted.

Fucker ended up laughing at me instead
of avenging my honour, but he did manage to give me the bag of clothes first.

 

[CharcoalChkn]

I gave birth to my tampon while shitting today so that was a fun new experience for me.

Spoiler: Before you call me out.

I usually take it out beforehand and dispose of it like a sane human in the trash can but, this was a big fibre/protein beast, time was of the essence, and I was NOT about to put my hand in the line of fire.

 

[Quack_Quack]

I gave birth to my tampon while shitting today so that was a fun new experience for me.

Spoiler: Before you call me out.

I usually take it out beforehand and dispose of it like a sane human in the trash can but, this was a big fibre/protein beast, time was of the essence, and I was NOT about to put my hand in the line of fire.

At least your shit was considerate enough to reduce the risk of toxic shock by getting a new tampon?

There is nothing worse than having your period and FEELING a giant fucking clot slither it's way out.