What’s the best way to handle a screaming child on a flight?

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There's a special room for annoying toddlers here.
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My mom had an extremely friendly asian colleague who always carried a transformer in her travel bag whenever she flew to Japan or somewhere on business in case a kid began acting up. I met that lady twice, and then for three Christmases afterward (completely out of the blue), she sent me a present...a special edition Future Spawn, Manga Spawn, and finally some really cool large scale fighter jet that I think was from Macross. That lady was fucking awesome and made me actually want to write Thank You cards which I still do to this day if someone sends me anything.
 
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I misread flight as fight. So I'm thinking about how to engage one in combat. Children are small. I think if you were to kick it enough like a mare punishing a foul it'd relent. I don't know how to stop the crying. Try shaking it to see if it stops.
 
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Sometimes plane staff sell ear plugs alongside blankets and pillows.

I use ear plugs and noise canceling headphones for double the noise reduction. Sony WH1000XM3.
 
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