That "poem" doesn't even make sense. And look, I know poetry. It can be allegorical, or surrealist, or whatever, but if your poem is meant to have a point... it should make sense when it comes to that point, even if it uses metaphor or some other method to get you there. This poem boils down to "you hate trans people because you can't stop us!" And that doesn't really make sense on a bunch of different levels.
It's a contradiction as well. "As if we were only water, movement and noise" IS THE OCEAN, it's a force of nature. They're trying to argue they're a natural entity while also a destructive one.
"Salt air furious" is misleading. Salt water was used and still is used to cure burns. You'd need emphasis on the length and duration of that air, like saturation.
Ex:
"You think you can stop us
We, the swell of the ocean
Where the salt air turns your skin dry
And the waves lap at your fingers.
We, the rage of the ocean
Sting at the cuts on your flesh
And eat at the skin which thins
Weak under our might.
We, with a fury to exist
Will deny that hand
You stick out for clemency
To be consumed by the waves.
We, water and movement and noise
Will not be stopped by you
For we are the fury, salt and air and sand
Eating your bony fingers."
Edgelord-y but that's how you capture the ocean.
Yes, there are plenty of actual good poems written in the same style. One of my favorites:
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What does "eat the flesh from your fingers" even mean? Is the ocean or salt air actually known for doing that? Isn't salt air good for people? And why would a swell swallow someone whole if he is standing
in front of the ocean? At least establish some tidal imagery if you are going to end the poem like that. The writer is so fixated on violent fantasies about his enemies he can't decide on a destructive metaphor: Does his "ocean" wear down flesh slowly, or does it violently swell and suddenly engulf?
I believe it's a reference to the water itself dissolving flesh. A body in salt water for over 12 hours will undergo osmosis, and you'll become dehydrated. Ocean bacteria will replace the bacteria in your skin, so you'll get nasty infections. But that's for long exposure or swimming in polluted waters.
A swell can swallow a person if it's a tsunami. I don't think the Troon poet knows about weather patterns. Oceans are either peaceful imagery or destructive imagery. You can craft a poem if slow decay with water, but that has to fit the mood you're setting. See example.
. No spoons to clean, but spoons enough to thirst-post on Twitter.)
Congrats to Elizabeth Broekemeier's daughter and her skeleton!
