Kiwi Farms should attach itself to a Central American narco cartel

[Dyn]

Think about it, it's a great business move. The payment processors have blacklisted and ostracized Josh so comprehensively that it's not unreasonable or suspicious for him to receive donations from forum users in physical currency, and given the notoriety of the website it's perfectly reasonable that his donors might want to stay totally anonymous. If donations just happen to start suddenly increasing to the tune of tens of millions of dollars a year, all he has to do is take that cash and put it in a bank as legitimate earnings and pay taxes on it and then coincidentally spend a significant majority of it hiring some Lebanese shell company that allegedly provides cybersecurity.

Also if we join a drug cartel there isn't a weird little chickennecked 'tech journalist' in the world who's going to have the balls to keep writing smear pieces on us, and if trannies want to keep DDoS'ing us, well, it's certainly none of our business if their burned and dismembered corpses get dragged through the streets of some dusty Mexican barrio with severed dogs legs sewn onto them in place of their original, human limbs.

The question isn't really whether we should do it, the only question is which drug cartel do y'all think is the best drug cartel to join?

 

[Null]

I've got a contact down in the Yucatan, who does business there?

 

[I (Don't) Have A Gun]

Does this mean we can score cheap but high quality coke? If so then I'm all in on this idea.

 

[Dyn]

I've got a contact down in the Yucatan, who does business there?

Looks like a pretty competitive marketplace, which is great for us if we want to shop around for the best deal.

 

[AnOminous]

The question isn't really whether we should do it, the only question is which drug cartel do y'all think is the best drug cartel to join?

Sinaloa for sure.

 

[Dyn]

Sinaloa for sure.

It's always tempting to want to join the biggest provider, but in most business dealings I've found that going to one of the smaller guys can get you more personalised care and customer support.

Wikipedia says there's a cartel called "Jalisco New Generation", I didn't read the rest of the article but their branding makes them sound pretty friendly and welcoming to newcomers.

 

[Fag Albert]

We can make so many new pals. They'll probably get rid of their teardrop tattoos because they wont be sad and alone anymore.

 

[Blasterisk]

Earning the support of the CIA is always helpful.

 

[AnOminous]

We can make so many new pals. They'll probably get rid of their teardrop tattoos because they wont be sad and alone anymore.

Or get a few more taking care of our enemies.

 

[Procrastinhater]

I've got a contact down in the Yucatan, who does business there?

Sinaloa and CJNG are the big ones. Depends where you go, it changes. Lot of shit went down there last year.
They both own tourist resorts.
Great deals on holidays.

 

[Soup Sammiches]

I'm totally against selling and buying cocaine but if I can get some for free from the company discount then I'm in.

Edit: I lied, I'm not against it but I'll still take my company discount.

 

[Patrick Bait-man]

I've got a contact down in the Yucatan, who does business there?

 

[XYZpdq Jr.]

tbh this isn't really any less-terrible of an idea than the legal notice reception compound staffed by some rando

 

[Dyn]

tbh this isn't really any less-terrible of an idea than the legal notice reception compound staffed by some rando

Yeah we'll have access to Cartel lawyers when this goes through I hear they're usually pretty good.

 

[Moths]

I mean josh already recieves so many suspicious parcels they probably stopped checking them for drugs long ago and just do the rattle to see if its a bomb test and move on.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

I'm confused what would we be doing for them in return, laundering money? That's an ok idea I suppose. You couldn't ship drugs to Josh, I think they all either drink or do Middle Eastern heroin over in that part of the world.

Folks could also start dropping suggestions into BP about the weight loss potential of methamphetamine abuse since I think the Mexicans are big into processing meth these days, and a lot of the site's users are already alcoholics and drug addicts so maybe they could get a sort of groupon scheme going where you only buy your drugs from their dealers and they give the site a collective discount.

The whole thing seems a little far fetched but if anyone is going to get high or w/e maybe they could try running it by their Hispanic drug dealer. Introduce it by saying "Hey ese, you or your amigos ever consider developing a presence on the world wide web?" and see how they respond.

 

[Dyn]

I'm confused what would we be doing for them in return, laundering money?

We could dox sapos for them too.

 

[AnOminous]

Yeah we'll have access to Cartel lawyers when this goes through I hear they're usually pretty good.

They'd better be good if they don't want to be taken to Funky Town.

 

[Dyn]

You know I said the only question left is which cartel to join but now I realise the bigger question is do we call our BP thots "trickarios" or "sicarihoes"?

 

[Useful_Mistake]

You know I said the only question left is which cartel to join but now I realise the bigger question is do we call our BP thots "trickarios" or "sicarihoes"?

The former is easier to pronounce, so probably that