Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[Johnny Salami]

learning about this lazy parasite's various crybaby "medical" excuses. sounds like he's been whining and finding justifications for his lack of effort ever since he was a little kid.

if he'd gotten some discipline from his mom maybe he would have turned out better, but it's clear he was spoiled.

lol "aphasia," like that's even a real condition. "boo hoo hoo poor me." disgusting, no wonder his wife left

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>I totally would have served in the military
Just like Patrick
He insisting he's not fat is funny. He probably has old photos where he's just fat, and not morbidly obese

 

[MavisBeaconTeachesSnipin]

imo shane is still in the early window of internet attention where if he dropped it and went silent for awhile it would end. one of the most noteworthy parts of pat's legacy is how he fanned the flames and made it long running. if he wants to steal pat's throne of shame he must continue feeding the trolls.

 

[Table Country]

Didn’t Rick also claim to have been a lifeguard at some point? Maybe both these weirdos were once paid flotation devices or something.

It's the easiest way to claim you're a tough, physical guy who saves people without having military or medical training.

 

[A Sunset]

Shame Nokes has admitted defeat to the ONA Rascals because he refuses to follow up on the hacking LARP, instead oinking about shit that doesn’t matter on his Twitter and now hiding replies. If he had anything to say in response to the points people are making, he would have said it by now.

He’s not a secret agent, he didn’t work with the Secret Service, he’s not a master hacker, he doesn’t work with Law Enforcement. He’s a fat, shut-in, leftist loser who tries to antagonize people on Twitter for Dopamine, lying about everything in his life because he’s never accomplished anything.

Very pathetic and sad behavior for a man in his 40s. And now we know that he overshares about his disgusting sex life on Reddit too.

At this point Shane should just admit he lied about everything and maybe he’ll recover some dignity.

 

[Poonocchio]

Just a thought: if KF Cruiser isn't our buttery butted fren (it is), some poor bastard newfag got a really good KF welcome. Kinda jealous.

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

I read this so now you all have to, I'm so sorry.
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archived
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This ... this broke me. I saw the NSFW pic of him in the OP. I can't unsee it anymore. While reading through this read I couldn't get this one disgusting detail out of my head. He is so fucking fat that he has no penis anymore but has an extra fat pad instead. His penis got swallowed by fat.
But after fucking he stays nestled inside his partner for 15-20min bc that is showing proper love.
The pictures in my head, right now ...
The image of a deathfuck stucking his dickfatpad in the fatgina of his wife ...
Him being "nestled" inside here ... with his dickfatpad ... fat stuck inside fat ... total fatception.
And imaging the sounds to it, while he squashes his wife and tries to squash his dickfatpad into her ... the grunting and screaming in agony ... like pigs ... I ... I ... I can't anymore.

The horror.

THE HORROR!

 

[sanguiduct]

For someone who is such an unflappable badass trollkiller, he sure is being shy! don't be scared, @KF Cruiser ! Come say hi!

 

[Meat Target]

This ... this broke me. I saw the NSFW pic of him in the OP. I can't unsee it anymore. While reading through this read I couldn't get this one disgusting detail out of my head. He is so fucking fat that he has no penis anymore but has an extra fat pad instead. His penis got swallowed by fat.
But after fucking he stays nestled inside his partner for 15-20min bc that is showing proper love.
The pictures in my head, right now ...
The image of a deathfuck stucking his dickfatpad in the fatgina of his wife ...
Him being "nestled" inside here ... with his dickfatpad ... fat stuck inside fat ... total fatception.
And imaging the sounds to it, while he squashes his wife and tries to squash his dickfatpad into her ... the grunting and screaming in agony ... like pigs ... I ... I ... I can't anymore.

The horror.

THE HORROR!

A stomach to surpass Ralph's Gunt...

 

[Sawamura Simp]

Jimmy Lee's healthy advice for Shame:

 

[DYLAN ‘DIELAWN’ VOLK]

Are we just gonna gloss over the fact that he's bragging about being poly on reddit? Ugly nerd couples, reddit, and polyamory, name a more iconic combo. He is most likely lying but if he's telling the truth I assume these sordid trysts are with even worse looking people and it's very upsetting.

The graphic image of him trying to keep his micro dong from slipping out of his girlfriend's blowhole for any amount of time let alone 20 minutes really fucked me up.

 

[Table Country]

Are we just gonna gloss over the fact that he's bragging about being poly on reddit? Ugly nerd couples, reddit, and polyamory, name a more iconic combo. He is most likely lying but if he's telling the truth I assume these sordid trysts are with even worse looking people and it's very upsetting.

The graphic image of him trying to keep his micro dong from slipping out of his girlfriend's blowhole for any amount of time let alone 20 minutes really fucked me up.

This is the kind of person who would've fucked Chantal.

 

[OK_Cogitator]

Any one of the old ones, too.

I am fat and I would not have sex with me.

 

[Pat Fried Rice]

This is the kind of person who would've fucked Chantal.

This is the kind of person who fucks kids. And animals.

We'll have to see if he decides to fuck off and forget about us, or if he's gonna make like Pat and continue poking the nest. I think he's stupid enough to keep poking.

 

[DYLAN ‘DIELAWN’ VOLK]

Is the neowin account archived? When I click the link on this it says I don't have permission to view it.
Here he is asking for somebody to post a teenage girl's nudes. Think it belongs in the OP if we can get an archive.

Former Microsoft employee and known pedophile Shane Nokes requests to see nude teenage girl

Sick sick shit. Surprised he hasn't joined the SFWA yet. He posted this in a thread about a Mum posting her teenage daughter's nudes on Facebook https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/1123696-mom-posts-teen-daughters-nude-photo-on-facebook/?do=findComment&comment=595373658

new.onaforums.net

 

[Blood Bath & Beyond]

I personally really look forward to reading "The Man Who Defeated the Trolls, Exposed and Infiltrated the Notorious F.R.E.N. Terrorist Group and Was Offered a Totally Real Secret Agent Job With Every Top Level Federal Agency on the Planet (but Turned Down Russia and China Because They Are Literally Hitler) and Definitely Isn't Lying About All of It or Sitting on the Computer Seething for 22 Hours at a Time While Impulsively Refreshing His Kiwi Farms Thread: A True & Honest History of Shane Edward Nokes by Shane Edward Nokes". It's only a matter of time before he decides to start writing bad science fiction and completes the transformation.

 

[Pat Fried Rice]

This is the kind of person who fucks kids. And animals.

Here he is asking for somebody to post a teenage girl's nudes. Think it belongs in the OP if we can get an archive.

Former Microsoft employee and known pedophile Shane Nokes requests to see nude teenage girl

Sick sick shit. Surprised he hasn't joined the SFWA yet. He posted this in a thread about a Mum posting her teenage daughter's nudes on Facebook https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/1123696-mom-posts-teen-daughters-nude-photo-on-facebook/?do=findComment&comment=595373658

new.onaforums.net

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Fucking called it.

 

[keytar]

Just a thought: if KF Cruiser isn't our buttery butted fren (it is), some poor bastard newfag got a really good KF welcome. Kinda jealous.

The silence is telling imo. If I was some random newfag who just joined and got greeted with all this I'd feel compelled to post something along the lines of 'what the fuck lmao'. And then join in laughing at Shane.

 

[Henri Barbusse]

Cybersecurity expert Shane managed to use his elite hacking skills to learn the names of two OnA posters. Coincidently the same two that were already known with dox in multiple threads. He also apparently thinks user SpaceEdge is Justin from Obscura.

Oh shit, is Dan okay? Did the cyberpolice get him? I hope he has a butterknife ready for when the knock comes.

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

Re: Microsoft.

I read his very boring blog.
edit: now edited to cross-reference with his Linked In.

I am going to make a timeline for his very boring blog, so you don't need to read it like I did.

2003: He attempts college in Ellensburg. This would be either Yakima Valley College or Central Washington University. He drops out due to "distractions" and moves home to Puget Sound.
2004-9 - marries, divorces. Works various other jobs, but really sees Microsoft as his future. Does not work for Microsoft.
May 2005 - May 2007, works in a call centre
July 2008 - October 2008, first known Microsoft Adjacent position. Contracted by Volt as a "testing associate" for four months, tests Fable II for Microsoft Game Systems
May 2010: Jr. Software Test Engineer for CompuCom "working on an Xbox LIVE team to help ensure the security and integrity of the Xbox LIVE experience for customers." working for minimum wage (then below $9/hr), position is actually with "a contract agency."
Holds that position for somewhat over a year. Receives a promotion September 2010. Requests a demotion within that team May 2011
August, 2011 Working for VMC, shitty contract company, as a Tier 3 XBox Hardware Support.
- transfers to a new team. Pay is "nearly double" (so up to 30Kish) and he will get overtime pay.
December 2011 - Something is happening that I can't grok. I include the paragraph here.
"Sure enough right around the time that I was starting to transition between teams I started getting phone calls in the middle of the night. It was some kids calling to harass me because they had somehow managed to social engineer some of my contact details from various companies. This started a period of life where things were stressful for months on end. I had to notify law enforcement to carefully screen any calls they received about my home address as I knew some of the group involved in the calls. They were responsible for harassing others, and ‘swatting’ was a method that they loved to use to cause problems."
I think this means he pissed someone off online? As a result he becomes a dick at work: "The quality of my work itself never suffered, but my ability to take criticism was definitely impaired." He "has his contract ended." He doesn't tell us why, variously because it would "make them [the agency] look pretty bad" or because he wants to avoid more calls from lawyers.
2012 - he moves teams again and is let go after one month.
2012 - He works three months on a scam telemarketing gig. He works for one of those Wheelchair Basketball "fundraisers" but drops the job to work another (probably contract) Microsoft-affiliated position.
March 2012 to May 2012. Works for Collabera "analyzing customer satisfaction data" again, for Microsoft.
Early 2013 - He is fired from the Microsoft-affiliated position He was actually fired in May 2012. He does not appear to work again.
March, 2014 - He declares his intention to go back to school. Blog ends.
His LinkedIn says that during the next two years he was working as a "retail product advisor," but given that he says he retired in 2014, I think this refers to the bullshit reviews for Amazon clicks he does on his blog.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

timeline

Reminder that this nigga supposedly knocked off a complex programming project for a government adjacent agency when he was 18 as a side hustle. How far have the "truly talented" fallen.