Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[internet friend]

This started a period of life where things were stressful for months on end.

God he must be shitting his pants now with all this going on.

 

[Alabaster Disaster]

"position with Microsoft" dealing with XBox Live for minimum wage (then below $9/hr), position is actually with "a contract agency."

Oh so "working for Microsoft" actually means he was a call center drone at some other company that had a Microsoft contract, and could be handling anything from car insurance to prepaid Visa cards depending on the year.

And then got shitcanned because he can't stand to be told he's not perfect.

 

[Premium Gonzo]

holy fuck is this a new chase twitter retard fight that'd be so good !

 

[sanguiduct]

I went and made myself a sandwich earlier and as i pulled a butterknife from the silverware drawer the mere sight of it made me let out a small chuckle to myself. It may seem like a small feat, but just bringing that kind of light and joy into somebody's life is truly a powerful thing. Thank you, Shane, for what is arguably your most significant contribution to the world: this thread.

 

[Broadside]

He just referenced the farms. May have just signed up here within the past 1/2 hour:

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Edit: Hey @KF Cruiser, whatcha doin?

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https://kiwifarms.st/members/kf-cruiser.151857/

Nothing says big shot who made it in life like obsessing over what people say about you on the internet!
You're our bitch now Shane. Feel free to post in your dedicated thread and try not to clutter up ol Pat's place, yeah?

 

[I Just Can't Do It :(]

If Null refuses to serve us some buttery desserts in tonight's MATI he will be the faggiest dog in all of the Balkans.

 

[Niggerphobe]

He'll eventually track us down at 4210 Wolfetown Rd, Cherokee, NC 28719

What’s that address for again

 

[Alabaster Disaster]

What’s that address for again

It's the townhouse Null makes all the jannies live in and if you show up in person they'll delete your thread for you.

 

[Maude Snew]

How many jobs does this guy claim he's had at this point?

He's done it all.

 

[lindsayfan]

LOL, functioning retarded KFers have been fooled into thinking Shane's fat!

 

[internet friend]

LOL, functioning retarded KFers have been fooled into thinking Shane's fat!
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Really what is it that causes people to deny the reality in front of their very own eyes. So many fat retards are obviously fat, but still deny it like it'll make it go away. How can you be so blind to what you can see with your own eyes every time you look down?

 

[keytar]

LOL, functioning retarded KFers have been fooled into thinking Shane's fat!
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Incredible. Him and Pat really were separated at birth. (Yet similar in girth. By which I mean FAT)

 

[Broadside]

The fact that he's been doing nothing but acting like a cringe weirdo on various forums and engaging in pointless internet fights for over 10 years is fucking pathetic. Some people truly do not deserve to have been born in a first world country.

 

[I Just Can't Do It :(]

Incredible. Him and Pat really were separated at birth. (Yet similar in girth. By which I mean FAT)

Legit question: which one is fatter? I would say the gravy seal is fatter overall, higher BMI etc but fatrick has that bullfrog neck that makes his face seem more bloated

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The fact that he's been doing nothing but acting like a cringe weirdo on various forums and engaging in pointless internet fights for over 10 years is fucking pathetic. Some people truly do not deserve to have been born in a first world country.

The funny part is that if he was born in a third world country village he would propably be happier, be more active, have some short of occupation , not be fat, not fuck a gunt,
have people to socialise with.

 

[Broadside]

Legit question: which one is fatter? I would say the gravy seal is fatter overall, higher BMI etc but fatrick has that bullfrog neck that makes his face seem more bloated


The funny part is that if he was born in a third world country village he would propably be happier, be more active, have some short of occupation , not be fat, not fuck a gunt,
have people to socialise with.

Honestly, people like Shane and Pat were made to till the fields and go home to a loving wife. Modernity, unfettered social media and latent narcissism has ruined their weak minds and egos #UncleTedWasRight

 

[Need4Sneed]

Shane was well respected at work.

 

[keytar]

View attachment 4861900
The fact that he's been doing nothing but acting like a cringe weirdo on various forums and engaging in pointless internet fights for over 10 years is fucking pathetic. Some people truly do not deserve to have been born in a first world country.

Now he's the amusement for a large group of people.

Legit question: which one is fatter? I would say the gravy seal is fatter overall, higher BMI etc but fatrick has that bullfrog neck that makes his face seem more bloated

DCC is physically larger but Rick's fatness is more offensive on a visceral level. It's the combination of the tits and the shiny jowly face. Truly repulsive.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

Shane was well respected at work.
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I spy you, NorrathReaver, trying to lurk just out of sight.

Actually, looking at the dates and the conversation here: did fatso eat a seven day ban for being a retard, then IMMEDIATELY ran back in emaciated crack addict level desperation to look at the offending thread so he could screencap it, seethe about it on Twitter and then probably continue his attempted tough guy spiel? This guy is special.

 

[TheOtherSideofMakeBelieve]

I went and made myself a sandwich earlier and as i pulled a butterknife from the silverware drawer the mere sight of it made me let out a small chuckle to myself. It may seem like a small feat, but just bringing that kind of light and joy into somebody's life is truly a powerful thing. Thank you, Shane, for what is arguably your most significant contribution to the world: this thread.

Thanks to Pat I have a Pavlovian response to the word 'child' and I've (very awkwardly) burst out laughing on more than one occasion upon hearing it without expecting it to come up in the conversation, and who knows how many times when I've read it while by myself. It truly is the greatest gift a lolcow can give (though I have to give Null a lot of credit in the equation as well as I don't think it would have stuck without his impersonation on MatI). 'Wait for the knock' might be the greatest jokeless-punchline I've ever come across. It's not something I imagine I'll ever hear in everyday conversation but if I ever do I'll probably laugh myself into an asthma attack

 

[Poonocchio]

@KF Cruiser Shane, you are most definitely fat and we would not have sex with you (even with a butter knife).