I've thought of the Whammy Burger scene on more than one occasion while reading Jack's restaurant complaints. How long until he shows up at Popeye's with a Tec-9?
Could you imaging Jack and family rolling on the ground "speaking in tongues"? It would take this already insane spectacle to new heights of exceptionalism. Fucking HABADAGABAGABABABOOBLABHOOBAH bam you're healed :^)
That would require too much effort on Jack's part. He just goes to shitty megachurches for a couple of hours on Sunday so he can claim he's a "good" Christian.
Like the opening to that movie The Stand. It ends with a whimper. Not a bang. Really is the the end for Jack huh, it's bittersweet honestly even though he had it coming and brought it all on himself.
Like 59 even if he looks like he's mid-60's. No word of a joke I've seen men in their 70's who look younger and healthier than Jagoff does.
Why would he? He's the type to, unironically say, "reading is gay".
Going to his channel is like finding a Circuit City that is still, somehow, open and you walk in only to see it's completely quiet but all the TVs and everything are working. The only sign of life is a cardboard cutout of a security guard with a note hastily scrawled on it, "back soon".
Except he keeps coming back weaker and more damaged. We've had brain issues, loss of his right arm and now both legs. There is nothing left. The next stroke he has the man is going to be a complete invalid.
That would be funny to see. You'd see his fat blubber jiggle and him spazzing and rolling in place like a bowling bowl while blabbering nonsense, then goes back with the delusion that he will be healed.
There's a guy at my gym who is 80 who does powerlifting. Guy is in far better shape than Jack.
An 80 year old man ridden with arthritis who can walk with the aid of a walker and wipe his own ass on the toilet is in far better shape than Jack.
In other words it's not that hard to be in better shape than Scalfatty.
Shoot, your average homeless drug addict sleeping rough is in better shape than Jack. It says a lot when doing crack, meth or heroin would potentially improve his health.
Possible, but I think more likely he just doesn't let himself seethe at food, OLD PEOPLE or having to pee because he knows the home is monitoring his FB feed, and that cuts out 95% of the things he can post about right now. He's sitting in a room, by himself, all day every day. If he's still mentally capable, something will pop up on news or Tiktok that triggers his well-whetted ignorant Boomer rage but right now he's quiet because most of the stuff he's angy about, he can't mention.
Nothing would stop him from Karening but a blanket party.
He's the weakest crybully bitch, you stand up to him with the slightest resistance (if you're not a retail worker) and he folds like soaked cardboard. He knows he's in these peoples' hands and they can do worse to him than deny him a bedpan. A lot worse.
My money is on "He forgot to charge his phone, or left it out of reach and can't get to it". Or maybe he got his Opioid overdose, and he's absolutely incoherent, hallucinating about endless white castle sliders.
God has big plans for Jr., such as cleaning the stall in the bathroom at 7/11 that someone just sprayed shit all over.
And that one had his favorite gloryhole, too!
