Questions for the female autists here - Sneed

[anliteralidiot]

y-yeah, I hate guys like that too haha

I'm sorry if it came off mean, haha. I just work with a lot of young kids, and the boys are always so adamant that they know 100% of everything about Sonic because they've watched/read XYZ thing. Like stfu, *I* know more about Sonic , *I'm* the elder autist, and you've talked about the same thing *every week for the passed year.*

Do you get fixations, or is that only for male autists? Like how Chris-chan's life has basically revolved around Sonichu ever since his art teacher told him he wasn't allowed to draw Sonic?

Yes, absolutely. It sucks. Lolcows are one of them for me, and they're a secret shame. I can only be "mask-off" about them here. My husband only allows so much talk about them, because he's very, very sweet, but I try not to talk his ear off about them.

Bonus question: what age did you get diagnosed

I only got comfortable with the idea of being autistic in my late 20s. I'm still not diagnosed, but I fit every possible criteria outside of not reading emotions. If anything, I read too much into them and convince myself everyone hates me.

 

[TIM4EUS]

I'm sorry if it came off mean, haha. I just work with a lot of young kids, and the boys are always so adamant that they know 100% of everything about Sonic because they've watched/read XYZ thing. Like stfu, *I* know more about Sonic , *I'm* the elder autist, and you've talked about the same thing *every week for the passed year.*

no youre fine, I was laughing when I wrote that. what you said was true. ive definitely been guilty of the behavior you described and I try to be more conscious of it

 

[Sperghetti]

The girls might have interest in more... I guess, acceptable things, like art, environmentalism, boy bands, shit like that. Shit you don't really question much. Women are usually diagnosed in adulthood, sometimes questioning if they are autistic after their own child is deemed a spergling. It's harder to find someone who specializes in diagnosing adults.

I think this is a key point right here.

A lot of the stuff that's seen as being symptoms of mild/functional autism today is stuff that, in the late 20th century, would have just gotten you branded as a nerd. And it's not that there were necessarily more male nerds than female ones, it's just that the more egregarious nerd interests tended to be largely the domain of men -- western comic books, tabletop and video games, computers, etc.

The nerdy interests that tend to attract mostly-female crowds, however, also tend to be a little more socially acceptable in general, which means that being obsessively into one doesn't initially mark you as being weird. Things like books, music and theatre, costuming and historical periods, etc. The kind of person who's super excited about being a librarian or has a weird fixation with a single musical like Phantom of the Opera or Les Miserables is pretty much guaranteed to be a woman.

 

[Android raptor]

I got diagnosed at 10, and I think the main reason I got diagnosed as a kid was because I was more stereotypically masculine. Autistic girls who mask well and are interested in stereotypically feminine things are who seem to get missed for diagnosis.

I don't mind being autistic, the way I've been treated for it by others is the problem.

Self diagnosis has its place, but most loud and proud self diagnosed snowflakes are just bored non-autistic kids w/chuunibyo.

Depends on the cow whether I feel bad for them. Autistic people can be bad people just like anyone else, and I don't really feel bad for a bad person just because they're autistic.

females dont get autism.
males get autism. females get bpd.

I got both the 'tism and BPD. Guess I'm a hermaphrodite or something.

 

[Monkey Pink]

Bonus question: what age did you get diagnosed

7.

Do you get fixations, or is that only for male autists? Like how Chris-chan's life has basically revolved around Sonichu ever since his art teacher told him he wasn't allowed to draw Sonic?

Absolutely. My special interests are usually different fictional series, though for the last year it has been Caribbean music.

y-yeah, I hate guys like that too haha

For what it's worth, I REALLY had this issue when I was younger. I still think I "rant" too much about my interests in my late 20's. I'm just more self-aware about it.

 

[Cherry Eyed Hamster]

Autism for most women is just a personality they adopt when it benefits them, when it does not they shed it as quickly and easily as one would discard an old jacket they no longer liked.

Fuck off you daft cunt.

Like many things in medicine, women are often misdiagnosed. We display symptoms for many illnesses and disorders differently than men, heart attacks being one of the more notable ones. Male is essentially seen as the default and women an extension. Women are simply taken less seriously when seeking medical treatment, and as a result, we are misdiagnosed with other mental illnesses such as Borderline Personality Disorder, which has many similar symptoms of High-Functioning Autism (there is a comorbidity between the two, like ADHD and Autism, but they’re still completely separate).

I went undiagnosed with my autism for years. When I was a child my mother was observant and educated enough to know that I was most likely on the spectrum, but I was never properly diagnosed, with one idiot psychiatrist even saying “I couldn’t have autism because I display empathy.” so I was written off as having ADHD or depression.

As for living with it…I wouldn’t mind it at all if people weren’t so hasty to make judgments about me. I have a few hyperfixations that I have difficulty shaking and are on pretty niche topics. I’m thankful to have a girlfriend who is very understanding of me and we both share similar tastes and sense of humor. Outside of her and my parents tho, people are very quick to write me off. I genuinely like talking to people (when I can muster the courage to do so) and learning about them, but I have difficulty with eye contact and am pretty slow on social cues, so people assume I’m not listening to them or I’m not interested.

 

[Boyfriend Free Girl]

- I feel women don't get diagnosed as much as men do because we do a lot of 'masking' and try to blend more into society. Some of us don't even get diagnosed until our 20s - sometimes even 30s or 40s.

- I guess autistic women are more susceptible to succumbing to peer pressures due to 'masking' and I guess being groomed into radical ideologies (particularly the troon cult). Growing up, I was always stereotypically feminine until I had a 'tomboy phase' during my first years of puberty where I wore boys clothes, had short hair and went by a gender-neutral name (which I expected everyone to call me by). Luckily, that was almost a decade ago and I have since desisted. Essentially, autistic girls get groomed into trooning out because they lack critical thinking and often don't act stereotypically feminine. I think another problem is also the lack of companionship and social experience. It's not like I haven't dated at all but I seriously struggle to make meaningful connections with people especially that of friendships.

- There have been instances where I resent having it because of my lack of social skills but I'm grateful that I actually got the right help and I've learned to express gratitude for those on the lower functioning side of the spectrum.

- Autism is a spectrum so I'd assume it's quite tricky to self-diagnose. It is annoying seeing people self-diagnosing though because I feel Autism is already misunderstood as it is. I hate the bozos that fetishise and infantilise Autistic behaviours like stimming - it's so dehumanising.

- I struggle to sympathise with people as it is - Autistic or not. Of course Chris Chan comes to mind but whenever there's chances you could feel bad for him, he does something that strips all that sympathy away. Him fucking his mother didn't help either.


Bonus:
- I got my diagnosis at 2 years old.

 

[TIM4EUS]

For what it's worth, I REALLY had this issue when I was younger. I still think I "rant" too much about my interests in my late 20's. I'm just more self-aware about it.

ngl feels good to SPERG OUT sometimes, its like an itch I have to suppress. I think online forums are a good way to channel this impulse though

 

[Monkey Pink]

ngl feels good to SPERG OUT sometimes, its like an itch I have to suppress. I think online forums are a good way to channel this impulse though

Yes, KF and imageboards (and even some smaller subreddits) are good avenues to seek out people into the same obscure or niche thing you are.

 

[RainbowFart]

I fucking hate it and want to be dead because of it.

 

[Gay Mollusk]

I'm sure this has been said in a better manner but I think it's been harder for women to get diagnosed because symptoms are misinterpreted. My blank expression and monotone voice have made people think I was a cunt since high school. People don't like talking about it but when you're a woman they kinda put you in one of their preconceived archetypes they have in their head.

I feel like the main issue female autists deal with that males do not is female socialization as well. I'm treated like shit by normal women alot of the time because I break some weird social faux pas of theirs that I don't really understand. The intricacies of female socialization can be terrifying to deal with, and when you're a male autist you're free from this shit.

I stopped minding the 'tism once I found out I had it. My IRL friend group has essentially become an autism support group because we sort of flock together for safety where I'm from. I'm socially disabled to a small extent so it's not as if I'm without trouble at all. But I've found finding friends that are willing to overlook this has made me happier. The only thing about it that upsets me is the executive dysfunction, which is a living hell I do not wish upon anyone. Struggling to do basic tasks in a normal amount of time is embarrassing and a source of shame for me.

I'm """self-diagnosed""" in the sense that I figured out I'm autistic and refuse to get a diagnosis officially. I hold very disagreeable views to the current status quo, and intend to raise a family. Where I live, you can get fucked over by CPS if you have autism as a woman. I don't want to risk getting my future kids taken away because their teacher disagrees with me or something. So I feel it would would be hypocritical of me to judge alot of self diagnosers. I fucking despise the women online who are obviously pretending to have it to get out of their adult responsibilities though. Makes my life harder when I tell people I'm autistic and they're like "oh so you're a woman child". Mentally.

I don't really feel bad for most cows as they act pretty aggressive towards people who try to help. I feel they have some smug sense of superiority I do not like.

 

[Big Miss Steak]

Fuck off you daft cunt.

Like many things in medicine, women are often misdiagnosed. We display symptoms for many illnesses and disorders differently than men, heart attacks being one of the more notable ones. Male is essentially seen as the default and women an extension. Women are simply taken less seriously when seeking medical treatment, and as a result, we are misdiagnosed with other mental illnesses such as Borderline Personality Disorder, which has many similar symptoms of High-Functioning Autism (there is a comorbidity between the two, like ADHD and Autism, but they’re still completely separate).

I went undiagnosed with my autism for years. When I was a child my mother was observant and educated enough to know that I was most likely on the spectrum, but I was never properly diagnosed, with one idiot psychiatrist even saying “I couldn’t have autism because I display empathy.” so I was written off as having ADHD or depression.

As for living with it…I wouldn’t mind it at all if people weren’t so hasty to make judgments about me. I have a few hyperfixations that I have difficulty shaking and are on pretty niche topics. I’m thankful to have a girlfriend who is very understanding of me and we both share similar tastes and sense of humor. Outside of her and my parents tho, people are very quick to write me off. I genuinely like talking to people (when I can muster the courage to do so) and learning about them, but I have difficulty with eye contact and am pretty slow on social cues, so people assume I’m not listening to them or I’m not interested.

Always thought the "doctors don't listen to women" thing was a meme until I experienced it firsthand. Saw someone for persistent lower abdominal pain and he told me it was uterine cramps. Now I'm no doctor but I know what uterine cramps feel like. Thankfully was able to quickly get a second opinion before it turned into an ER visit.

Not an autist myself but my female autistic friends present very differently from my male autistic friends. It's usually easy to identify male autists, not as easy to pick up on with women. Female autists usually aren't quite as socially impaired so it takes a bit more time to pick up on the autism.

 

[NoReturn]

I'm going to answer because I'm in the category of "Kids whose doctors said they were autistic in the 90s but our parents said 'nuh-uh'."

Spoiler: My answers

Why is it harder for females to get diagnosed with autism?

Women better at social things. Autistic women comes across as weird girls, autistic men are basically non-functional in comparison.

What problems do women with it face that guys (usually) don't?

Social relatedness and expectations has been the worst throughout my life. People tend to assume I'm better at social stuff than I actually am, and I can get really far, but when I fuck up I fuck up BAD and people are a lot less forgiving than they would be to a more obvious autist because I did so well up until that point.

Did you actually mind having the tism or is it just 'what it is'?

I've never been anyone but myself so I have no basis for comparison.

What's your take on "self diagnosed autists"?

Depends on the age and level of spergery. I'm now up to two women who thought they had autism as adults, asked their moms, and their mom's response was "Oh yes, they said you were but I knew you were just special/sensitive." Boomer moms would rather see their babies as "indigo children" than autists, and in their defense a diagnosis thereof would have sent you to the sped class regardless of how functional you were.

Do you feel bad for any of the cows with autism or do you just feel schadenfreude?

Autists are people. I can feel bad for them and I can not, depends on the person. Munchies and TikTok flappy-hand-retards using it as an get out of jail free card are being ridiculous.

Do you get fixations, or is that only for male autists? Like how Chris-chan's life has basically revolved around Sonichu ever since his art teacher told him he wasn't allowed to draw Sonic?

Yes, but I learned I'm supposed to hide it. What ends up happening is that I end up over-talking about topics I'm interested in, or relating things to whatever I know about or am learning about at a given point in time, but I don't "produce" (e.g. make art, write fanfiction, etc.) unless I'm in deep. It doesn't happen much anymore as an adult.

Looking for opinions here, but women seem to mask the flat voice with an accent and intonation they pick up off TV. The female autist in your life may not drone on monotonously about trains, but talk in a sitcom voice about celebrities instead.

This is a real thing. It's why they can avoid the "autist voice" more than men, it's like an advanced form of echolalia.

I got diagnosed at 10, and I think the main reason I got diagnosed as a kid was because I was more stereotypically masculine. Autistic girls who mask well and are interested in stereotypically feminine things are who seem to get missed for diagnosis.

"She's not autistic, she's just a tomboy!"

- I feel women don't get diagnosed as much as men do because we do a lot of 'masking' and try to blend more into society. Some of us don't even get diagnosed until our 20s - sometimes even 30s or 40s.

Something I've seen irl, but not so much online (probably because TikTok's primary demographic is still in school) is a return of or onset of symptoms in some women after they leave school. One woman I know had a mental breakdown at the end of grad school and another had an extremely difficult time at her first FT job. In both cases it was because they had all these routines and coping mechanisms built up for school that they could no longer use.

The intricacies of female socialization can be terrifying to deal with, and when you're a male autist you're free from this shit.

Men get it, too, but it's different than ours.
Fucking sucks. Hate it.

 

[DumbDude43]

asked their moms, and their mom's both said "Oh yes, they said you were but I knew you were just special/sensitive." Boomer moms would rather see their babies as "indigo children" than autists, and in their defense a diagnosis thereof would have sent you to the sped class regardless of how functional you were.

unironically that's probably the best possible approach they can take, not just with suspected autists but also other common minor behavioral problems like add/adhd
life as an undiagnosed autist is harder than life as a functional normie, but it's still a whole lot better than life as a diagnosed autist who gets thrown in the tard bin and pumped full of psych meds

 

[glioblastoma multiforme]

Looking for opinions here, but women seem to mask the flat voice with an accent and intonation they pick up off TV. The female autist in your life may not drone on monotonously about trains, but talk in a sitcom voice about celebrities instead.

i don't drone monotonously but my tone and volume are generally all over the place and if i get told i'm mumbling or talking too loudly or sounding aggressive i get self conscious and shut up. i can learn social rules about how to behave by fucking up, but i don't seem to be able to learn to control my voice.

i'm more interested in lolcows than celebrities. i do sperg about a lot of things but have never really been interested in popular culture. i've not really considered myself ever to have 'special interests' in the stereotypical autism way. instead i've been very lucky that i've been able to channel that side of it into skills that make me highly employable.

i used to be very specifically interested in just a few things. now i've discovered that almost everything is interesting just below the surface and honestly think you could get me interested in almost anything if you explained it the right way.

 

[Bathtub Munching]

i don't drone monotonously but my tone and volume are generally all over the place and if i get told i'm mumbling or talking too loudly or sounding aggressive i get self conscious and shut up. i can learn social rules about how to behave by fucking up, but i don't seem to be able to learn to control my voice.

i'm more interested in lolcows than celebrities. i do sperg about a lot of things but have never really been interested in popular culture. i've not really considered myself ever to have 'special interests' in the stereotypical autism way. instead i've been very lucky that i've been able to channel that side of it into skills that make me highly employable.

i used to be very specifically interested in just a few things. now i've discovered that almost everything is interesting just below the surface and honestly think you could get me interested in almost anything if you explained it the right way.

A diagnosis in my 20s and my reaction was “can women get autism” because the rule was that only men got autism

Some women dont get diagnosed because they present symptoms in a socially acceptable way. For example, an autistic women may get lumped in with the boys who behave poorly in class to “show them a good example” because they are quiet and well behaved, and their fixation on horses/dragons/Egypt get passed over, as others have said in this thread, it’s more socially acceptable to be into this stuff than trains or stamps or whatever.

For social skills, autists love rules and once they learn them tend to follow them better. This applies to social life rules as well. Things that are a crime in girl world that men don’t even notice may be picked up on by female autists depending on the severity of their disorder.

In terms of highly employable skills, women who are amazing at coding or excel spreadsheets may not be flagged for risk of autism because of the belief that women are generally better at being organised or admin or whatever.

Spoiler: Muh Special Interest

I love lolcows too, always have

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

It's hard? I got diagnosed as a literal toddler!

 

[The Cunting Death]

It's hard? I got diagnosed as a literal toddler!

Of the five or so women I know who got it, they had a harder time getting diagnosed early as apposed to me (diagnosed early too)

 

[Sissyagamben]

A fake autistic femoid here, some ppl think I’m autistic, but I think they just mean I’m retarded. I’m just veryt poorly socialized, can’t make eye contact, and have weird specific interests. Many munchie bpd women on clock app are probably somewhat similar to my situation, without maybe the niche obsessions. It can be confusing and I truly wonder if I am sometimes, but my psychiatrist said I’m fine, so I’m most likely just retarded. I understand more social cues than most ppl maybe, I just can’t socialize normally for non-autistic reasons. Many traumatized ppl will have autistic like symptoms when it comes to socialization, and having ADHD will add that extra flavour of ~autistic obsession-. But they def not autistic, just traumatized.

My observation of true female autistic in my circle though, is that you can very instantly tell they are autistic. You know when you see someone and you immediately know “that person’s autistic?” It’s the same with the femoids. Like even when you are standing in the line at a grocery store, and someone is standing in front of you, and you just know.

I’m not too very versed in this but arent autism diagnosed before ur 3 or 5? Like when you can’t make eye contact with the parent at 18 months or sth.

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Even online autists can instantly tell each other apart just like the memes on Tumblr