- Joined
- May 3, 2016
The Retail Horror Thread 2: More Tales to Chill your Bones
- Thread starter Surtur
- Start date
I love funny videos! 
R
RV 229
Guest
kiwifarms.net
.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2014
There's a McDonald's in the same plaza as the restaurant I work at (I usually end up waiting there before and after my shifts because WiFi). Yesterday while I was waiting for my restaurant to open, there were a few landscaping guys working with some leaf blowers, cleaning up the sidewalk (typical shit for businesses in my city to do in order to look better than they actually are). They managed to get a minuscule amount of debris on this old guy's Mercedes and he lost his shit at them when he came out. Ordered them to blow the debris off his car before he'd sit his ass down and drive off (all the while muttering about "these damn Mexicans"). One of the bourgiest of bourgie pricks I've seen in a long time.
- Joined
- May 30, 2014
Sup dead guy at work story. We had a guy OD on heroin in the family restroom in the store where I used to work. LP monitors that door with a camera now because it wasn't the first time. He was just the first death, IIRC.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2014
Today we found a slug on one of the conveyor belts. I have no idea how it got in. (somebody's lettuce or something?) Everyone flipped the fuck out and I had pick the little guy up and carry it into the nearby woods since nobody knew what to do about it. I could not wash my hands enough after that.
fire_fly
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2015
Have I mentioned how much I fucking hate upper management in my company?
We're getting a visit from the big bosses (we're owned by one of the biggest beauty corporations in the world) and everyone's been shitting themselves trying to get the stores ready. My manager and I did pretty much all of the work and we thought we'd done a really good job; the store looks great, everything's set the way it should be, we cleaned like madwomen... But then our RVP shows up and just starts pointing out every little thing that's wrong. Like, say, a single hair on the store mat in front of the door. Or a stray bit of popcorn that got behind the mini fridge. Or the fact that I had to tape up our window clings, which, in my defense, they wouldn't stay up. Two of them fell on the ground overnight and were covered in dirt, there was no way they would stick otherwise.
The bitch also implied that I'm stupid and/or a shit employee because I had forgotten that we had a vacuum cleaner. Something we barely use because our floor is made of tile. She's always such an awful cunt, the first time I ever met her she shook my hand like she thought she was gonna catch something from me. Last time she was in town, she made my manager cry, she was so horrible to her.
I hope those people show up tomorrow while I'm not there, because I have a lot of choice words for them and I'm not sure I could keep my mouth shut at this point.
We're getting a visit from the big bosses (we're owned by one of the biggest beauty corporations in the world) and everyone's been shitting themselves trying to get the stores ready. My manager and I did pretty much all of the work and we thought we'd done a really good job; the store looks great, everything's set the way it should be, we cleaned like madwomen... But then our RVP shows up and just starts pointing out every little thing that's wrong. Like, say, a single hair on the store mat in front of the door. Or a stray bit of popcorn that got behind the mini fridge. Or the fact that I had to tape up our window clings, which, in my defense, they wouldn't stay up. Two of them fell on the ground overnight and were covered in dirt, there was no way they would stick otherwise.
The bitch also implied that I'm stupid and/or a shit employee because I had forgotten that we had a vacuum cleaner. Something we barely use because our floor is made of tile. She's always such an awful cunt, the first time I ever met her she shook my hand like she thought she was gonna catch something from me. Last time she was in town, she made my manager cry, she was so horrible to her.
I hope those people show up tomorrow while I'm not there, because I have a lot of choice words for them and I'm not sure I could keep my mouth shut at this point.
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
OK, tonight was scary.
I had just clocked off and was buying Nutella, when I saw some Asian lads run by, I didn't think much of it until I heard the doors to the warehouse slam then an alarm go off, thinking they had broke into the spirits cupboard, me and a work colleague on the aisle ran to the doors and had an Asian lad run into us, my colleague grabbed him like a hero and he started yelling telling him to get off, he broke free and pulled out a fucking switchblade, luckily by that time half the store had come to where we were so he put it away again and started squaring up to the smallest guy there, there were no managers to be found, and as the most senior member on the scene I had to basically lead him out the store knowing full well that he had a knife. We found the guy he was chasing weeping in the warehouse so I had to look for a manager and fucking drag his pathetic arse down to this poor lad because fuck if I know what procedure is.
I had just clocked off and was buying Nutella, when I saw some Asian lads run by, I didn't think much of it until I heard the doors to the warehouse slam then an alarm go off, thinking they had broke into the spirits cupboard, me and a work colleague on the aisle ran to the doors and had an Asian lad run into us, my colleague grabbed him like a hero and he started yelling telling him to get off, he broke free and pulled out a fucking switchblade, luckily by that time half the store had come to where we were so he put it away again and started squaring up to the smallest guy there, there were no managers to be found, and as the most senior member on the scene I had to basically lead him out the store knowing full well that he had a knife. We found the guy he was chasing weeping in the warehouse so I had to look for a manager and fucking drag his pathetic arse down to this poor lad because fuck if I know what procedure is.
- Joined
- Jul 5, 2014
That sounds terrifying, ngl. I'm glad you're okay!
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2013
Thanks! Even though I was fronting at this guy, calling him a dickhead and yelling at him to get out my fucking store, inside I was shitting bricks.
All props go to my colleague who fucking tackled the dude though.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2016
I work at a bakery owned by a husband and wife. I do not bake, just give people their pastry and make sandwiches from a lunch menu. The bakery is well known for cakes so a lot of people place custom cake orders. They've done everything from wedding cakes to penis cakes over the course of their business.
I've got lots of stories but I tend to be verbose, so here are two short-ish ones.
I've got lots of stories but I tend to be verbose, so here are two short-ish ones.
A woman ordered a flavor of cake that wasn't even listed on the "custom cake order" form, which is fine by husband/wife. It is a birthday cake. The cake probably costs her around $70 based on the size and level of customization (I wasn't there for the order). She comes in one day to look at it, and when I show it to her she whines that it's not how she wanted it to look. That is kinda offensive to the husband/baker, since it was very gorgeous and made how that kind of cake is traditionally made. I think he ended up making her a whole new cake since slices of the cake ended up in the "cold pastry" case for the first time ever.
The owners come in to do baking and business matters, but leave shortly after I come in for afternoon shift. Saturdays are particularly crazy for the bakery, so of course that's when Cake Bitch comes in to get her cake. She seems pleased at how it looks, and I box it up for her. She asks if it is ok if they "chow down here". I see only her and another adult, so I say fine.
She opens the door and yells "COME ON IN!!" In comes five children under the age of ten, two more adults, and an infant. We have a grand total of six tables in the very small store, three of which they push together to make a long table. She then demands I pour them nine "courtesy" cups of water (we only sell bottled water, not free cups), get them nine forks, nine plates, etc. I am so baffled by this that I comply.
Cake Bitch then asks if I can get her a large, sharp knife to cut the cake with. And then she asks if we have a lighter. I say no. She says "do YOU have one? like in your purse?" I start thinking, maybe if I kiss up to her, I'll get a nice tip since they look pretty wealthy. So I let her borrow my lighter and fetch her a knife to cut cake with. I wasn't going to cut the cake since that is not my job and also I didn't want her to go off for "not cutting right" blah blah.
They end up sitting in there for half an hour having their impromptu party. Several people come in the bakery, see the party of sugared children, and immediately leave. At one point, the infant shit itself as infants do, and they debate whether or not to use another table where people fucking eat to change it. Luckily they did not.
Eventually, she hands me what is left of the cake - about half - and says "You can hold onto that for me until we come back. We're going to do some shopping." Thank you for allowing me to hold your cake, O Cake Bitch. She leaves without so much as glancing at the tip jar. Twenty minutes later, she pokes her head in the door to say "We're going to pass on the cake actually, so go ahead and chow down." Thank you for providing me with your leftovers that small children have spat upon, Cake Bitch. Half of a very expensive cake and she couldn't be assed to pick up the leftovers.
The owners come in to do baking and business matters, but leave shortly after I come in for afternoon shift. Saturdays are particularly crazy for the bakery, so of course that's when Cake Bitch comes in to get her cake. She seems pleased at how it looks, and I box it up for her. She asks if it is ok if they "chow down here". I see only her and another adult, so I say fine.
She opens the door and yells "COME ON IN!!" In comes five children under the age of ten, two more adults, and an infant. We have a grand total of six tables in the very small store, three of which they push together to make a long table. She then demands I pour them nine "courtesy" cups of water (we only sell bottled water, not free cups), get them nine forks, nine plates, etc. I am so baffled by this that I comply.
Cake Bitch then asks if I can get her a large, sharp knife to cut the cake with. And then she asks if we have a lighter. I say no. She says "do YOU have one? like in your purse?" I start thinking, maybe if I kiss up to her, I'll get a nice tip since they look pretty wealthy. So I let her borrow my lighter and fetch her a knife to cut cake with. I wasn't going to cut the cake since that is not my job and also I didn't want her to go off for "not cutting right" blah blah.
They end up sitting in there for half an hour having their impromptu party. Several people come in the bakery, see the party of sugared children, and immediately leave. At one point, the infant shit itself as infants do, and they debate whether or not to use another table where people fucking eat to change it. Luckily they did not.
Eventually, she hands me what is left of the cake - about half - and says "You can hold onto that for me until we come back. We're going to do some shopping." Thank you for allowing me to hold your cake, O Cake Bitch. She leaves without so much as glancing at the tip jar. Twenty minutes later, she pokes her head in the door to say "We're going to pass on the cake actually, so go ahead and chow down." Thank you for providing me with your leftovers that small children have spat upon, Cake Bitch. Half of a very expensive cake and she couldn't be assed to pick up the leftovers.
We keep a number of pre-made cakes in their own fridge so people can come in and buy them for birthdays, lunches, barbecues, whatever. If someone is buying a birthday cake, I can go to the back where the baking supplies are and write "happy birthday" on a little scrap of marzipan to put on top. That is the extent of my decorating skill.
A woman orders a cake that says "Happy Birthday and Graduation Angela". It is a square cake, whereas all of the premades are round. The cake she orders has a yellow lemon cream surface, usually written on in chocolate, but for some reason the baker wrote it in red gel icing instead. When she comes in, she is very unhappy that it is written in red. This is the same day as Cake Bitch, so the baker is not there to fix it and she needs it for that afternoon. As she sits at a table, staring at the cake and sulking, another woman comes in to buy a birthday cake. I write a birthday message on some marzipan and stick it onto the cake. I am shit at spacing so I leave a lot of space and usually put some bullshit doodle design on there to make it look okay.
Angela's Mom comes up and sees it and says "Oh!! That is exactly what I want on my cake. That is so artistic and pretty! Can you do that on my cake?" Well if she thinks my writing is "artistic" then it's clear why she didn't like the baker's beautiful script. Her cake is like two feet long by a foot wide and entirely covered in the writing; the marzipan scrap was like four inches. She looks pretty wealthy too, so I figure I could get a nice tip out of her if I help - not having learned my lesson from Cake Bitch. I check in the back and there is a large circle of marzipan that is meant to be placed on a round cake; I tell her that I can write on that circle and try to cover the rest with little frosting blots. Luckily the baker had left a full bag of frosting with a similar decorative tip. She says "Great! Now what should I write?" Not "Happy Birthday and Graduation Angela", I guess.
She takes like fifteen minutes to sketch out on some scrap paper what she wants on this stupid circle. She decides on "Happy Birthday Angela, Grad Girl". I want so badly to get this cunt out of the bakery that I manage to write on the marzipan, add some bullshit doodles, and blort frosting all over to cover up the original writing on the cake. I am in a state of panic because this is the only marzipan circle we have and if I fuck up, I'm done and I just KNOW she'll bitch to the owners about me.
She loves the finished product despite it looking re.tarded, and tells me that I should tell the owners that I made her super happy. Then, she collects her cake and leaves. No tip. Thirty minutes of my time I spent with her, meaning other customers weren't served and left, and not even a fucking dime.
A woman orders a cake that says "Happy Birthday and Graduation Angela". It is a square cake, whereas all of the premades are round. The cake she orders has a yellow lemon cream surface, usually written on in chocolate, but for some reason the baker wrote it in red gel icing instead. When she comes in, she is very unhappy that it is written in red. This is the same day as Cake Bitch, so the baker is not there to fix it and she needs it for that afternoon. As she sits at a table, staring at the cake and sulking, another woman comes in to buy a birthday cake. I write a birthday message on some marzipan and stick it onto the cake. I am shit at spacing so I leave a lot of space and usually put some bullshit doodle design on there to make it look okay.
Angela's Mom comes up and sees it and says "Oh!! That is exactly what I want on my cake. That is so artistic and pretty! Can you do that on my cake?" Well if she thinks my writing is "artistic" then it's clear why she didn't like the baker's beautiful script. Her cake is like two feet long by a foot wide and entirely covered in the writing; the marzipan scrap was like four inches. She looks pretty wealthy too, so I figure I could get a nice tip out of her if I help - not having learned my lesson from Cake Bitch. I check in the back and there is a large circle of marzipan that is meant to be placed on a round cake; I tell her that I can write on that circle and try to cover the rest with little frosting blots. Luckily the baker had left a full bag of frosting with a similar decorative tip. She says "Great! Now what should I write?" Not "Happy Birthday and Graduation Angela", I guess.
She takes like fifteen minutes to sketch out on some scrap paper what she wants on this stupid circle. She decides on "Happy Birthday Angela, Grad Girl". I want so badly to get this cunt out of the bakery that I manage to write on the marzipan, add some bullshit doodles, and blort frosting all over to cover up the original writing on the cake. I am in a state of panic because this is the only marzipan circle we have and if I fuck up, I'm done and I just KNOW she'll bitch to the owners about me.
She loves the finished product despite it looking re.tarded, and tells me that I should tell the owners that I made her super happy. Then, she collects her cake and leaves. No tip. Thirty minutes of my time I spent with her, meaning other customers weren't served and left, and not even a fucking dime.
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2013
Little old man approaches me today on the sales floor. Aww, he's so cute with his sweater in 85 degree heat! I ask him what he needs help with.
"I want to buy a funky poop!"
.........he wanted a funko pop. I'm still in tears. I love my job.
"I want to buy a funky poop!"
.........he wanted a funko pop. I'm still in tears. I love my job.
G
GV 998
Guest
kiwifarms.net
Which one did he want? There's literally hundreds of those things now
- Joined
- Jan 6, 2016
My first job was at a Game Stop which I think says enough.
My first day on the job some bitch came in trying to pawn off 3 wiis and 2 hexboxes. At the same time while we were distracted by that some asshole snipped a ps3 controller off the demo stand.
When the ps4 came around we had a customer who bought her son a ps3 a few days prior and for whatever reason the thing crapped out and she called in asking if she could trade it in for a ps4. We explained that we couldnt exactly "trade it in" but we could buy the ps3 from her, use the credit from that toward the new system, and she could pay the remaining cost. This bitch however wanted that new system (two months after it launched mind you) for absolutely free. She called three more times during my shift and even put her very embarassed son on the line till she finally gave up.
My first day on the job some bitch came in trying to pawn off 3 wiis and 2 hexboxes. At the same time while we were distracted by that some asshole snipped a ps3 controller off the demo stand.
When the ps4 came around we had a customer who bought her son a ps3 a few days prior and for whatever reason the thing crapped out and she called in asking if she could trade it in for a ps4. We explained that we couldnt exactly "trade it in" but we could buy the ps3 from her, use the credit from that toward the new system, and she could pay the remaining cost. This bitch however wanted that new system (two months after it launched mind you) for absolutely free. She called three more times during my shift and even put her very embarassed son on the line till she finally gave up.
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2013
Oh he had no idea. He was so surprised when I showed him that they were little dollies with big heads.....I don't know what he was expecting. He ended up getting Merida because his granddaughters have red hair, and he thought it was very cute.
- Joined
- Apr 29, 2016
Here's the video I owed @Sailor_Jupiter . Sorry for taking so long. They scared the crap out of me, though they didn't fly as far as I thought.
- Joined
- Jul 11, 2015
Not retail but I work at food service and a Indian lady came running in the store like a madman screaming because I didn't 'make her fries black' aka burn them. Her ticket didn't even say well done.....
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2015
My roommate works at Jo-Ann Fabrics, which you wouldn't think would be too terrible. I figured it'd be a bunch of sweet old grandmas and the occasional housewife, but Roomie proved me wrong.
- An obese elderly woman in a mobility scooter (aka a 'rascal') ran over Roomie's foot on purpose after she was informed there was no more Minions blanket fleece.
- Roomie's coworker fell asleep with a lit cigarette in the storage room, lighting a small amount of inventory on fire. Everyone on duty was charged for 'replacement costs' by corporate.
- Roomie has been asked on more than one occasion how to best adapt a child's My Little Pony costume design for 'adults.'
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2016
"And is there a way to add a snap-flap at the front? Sort of at the crotch area?"
- Joined
- Sep 3, 2014
Yeah, old people tend to either be sweet or utter cunts I've noticed; sometimes both. The fact that the company billed the whole outlet was definitely a dick move though.
The fact that Bronies go there is only worth an eye raise; I expect you also see furries occasionally too.
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2015
I'm not sure if said costumes were used for 'adult' purposes or merely for sperging at conventions or what have you, but the way Roomie said 'adult' when she told me the stories makes me hope for the latter.