Funny stories about your period

[Hog]

I never realised starting ones period was such a scary thing for so many women. I had already read about period symptoms in one of those girly magazines and was like, "mum, think I'm starting, can you buy me some pads." And that was it.
I feel awful that so many girls had such a hard time with it. I blame it on the fact people have to pretend it's this secret thing that should be only spoken in whispers.

 

[CharcoalChkn]

I never realised starting ones period was such a scary thing for so many women. I had already read about period symptoms in one of those girly magazines and was like, "mum, think I'm starting, can you buy me some pads." And that was it.
I feel awful that so many girls had such a hard time with it. I blame it on the fact people have to pretend it's this secret thing that should be only spoken in whispers.

I felt like the "scariness" for me came from the fact I went to a Catholic school, whenever we would do sex ed they would make this big deal about separating us from the boys because ours is more "serious and special' which really freaked me out. Also they made us watch a birthing video and I was like 9 LMAO.

 

[Hog]

I felt like the "scariness" for me came from the fact I went to a Catholic school, whenever we would do sex ed they would make this big deal about separating us from the boys because ours is more "serious and special' which really freaked me out. Also they made us watch a birthing video and I was like 9 LMAO.

Jfc it's like they wanted to scare you out of ever having kids. Morons.

 

[Kari Kamiya]

Also they made us watch a birthing video and I was like 9 LMAO.

I watched NOVA's "The Miracle of Life" at that age, and that had a live birth scene. Think I turned out fine, even if it still took me forever to realize no, sperm doesn't come from kissing 'cause I guess I didn't pay close enough attention to that part.

I think most of the "scariness" comes from just randomly seeing blood in your panties even if you know periods are a thing. It's a shock that you then get used to after a while as you figure out your cycle (unless you're irregular because Mother Nature decided she wanted to fuck with you). Mothers I want to believe really do want to tell their daughters about it, it's just a matter of "when", and most "whens" don't come around as planned. I don't think it's helping that girls are getting it earlier nowadays on top of the creepy groomer shit that it may be why moms could be feeling hesitant. They don't know how to approach the "when".

It sounds like once the girl turns nine, she should be taught about it and told it's completely normal, but to keep an eye out for signs of abnormalities. Like the crippling cramps aren't normal and that may be playing a part in the scariness aspect of it. But it sounds like just in general, no one knows how to do proper sex ed for so many girls that that's why there's still a lot of "scary" stories about first periods. It's just sad.

EDIT: From the comment section of "The Story of Menstruation":

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Okay so the first time I had mine was the same day I discovered my first edgy band, Hollywood Undead. So I fully barreled into edgy teenhood that day in one fell swoop.

 

[ryuichi]

I remeber this one from 2015
'The Mysterious Girl put a good tablespoon of it in Cecil Harvey's wine'
That's how Cecil bent over to her will.
30% true
70% cringe

 

[Dark Horse]

I managed to soak through everything in about 20 minutes today but have cheered up after reading about all your mishaps.

 

[Premium Gonzo]

I managed to soak through everything in about 20 minutes today but have cheered up after reading about all your mishaps.

If your at home and are worried about staining stuff, i suggest getting one of those piss pads for the invalids and elderly. Saved my couch so many times from stains and smells, and any surface i have to sit on for a long time, if i leak i have two in use and one as a spare. I think you can even get a cover for your mattress thats next on my list, because im sick of leaking through and ruining a perfectly good mattress that could be reused.

 

[Dark Horse]

If your at home and are worried about staining stuff, i suggest getting one of those piss pads for the invalids and elderly. Saved my couch so many times from stains and smells, and any surface i have to sit on for a long time, if i leak i have two in use and one as a spare. I think you can even get a cover for your mattress thats next on my list, because im sick of leaking through and ruining a perfectly good mattress that could be reused.

I have got a machine washable one of those which is excellent. I was unfortunately in town and had to walk to the public loo. (which I covered in terf stickers Mwahaha)

 

[Aunt Carol]

If your at home and are worried about staining stuff, i suggest getting one of those piss pads for the invalids and elderly.

Dollar Tree also sells underpads (as puppy training pads) two to a pack.

I can feel things coming down the pipe when I'm sitting, but there have been times it was comforting to have a backup for sleeping.

You can get a waterproof mattress cover for under $20; they're way less crinkly than you may imagine/remember from childhood. Under the fitted sheet, it's unobtrusive mattress insurance, not just for menses but little kids napping in the bed, or an old animal having an accident.

If you're regularly wiping out the bedding, sleeping on an underpad is the easiest to change and go right back to sleep.

I have got a machine washable one of those which is excellent

In my experience, fabric underpads are the most comfortable and stay in place the best. And again, easy to put one under a kid before you put them down, too.

 

[BlaireWhitesBottom2]

What's funny about it? Periods suck.

But you just used one at the end of your sentence you fucking hypocrite.

 

[Premium Gonzo]

I have got a machine washable one of those which is excellent. I was unfortunately in town and had to walk to the public loo. (which I covered in terf stickers Mwahaha)

Haha did you print them yourself? I've got a few home made farms stickers i've been strategically placing in public to piss people off, a few have tried to rip them off without success yet.

 

[Dark Horse]

Haha did you print them yourself? I've got a few home made farms stickers i've been strategically placing in public to piss people off, a few have tried to rip them off without success yet.

https://www.adulthumanfemale.store/stickers I get mine from here but I do write some myself.

 

[cactus]

If your at home and are worried about staining stuff, i suggest getting one of those piss pads for the invalids and elderly. Saved my couch so many times from stains and smells, and any surface i have to sit on for a long time, if i leak i have two in use and one as a spare. I think you can even get a cover for your mattress thats next on my list, because im sick of leaking through and ruining a perfectly good mattress that could be reused.

Apparently this stuff called Folex Carpet Stain Remover works a treat. Heard about it from Do It On A Dime on YouTube: this woman poured red wine on her white carpet and I think it took a couple of tries, but the stain came out of her carpet and you can use it on basically any fabric, even clothes.

 

[Haramburger]

I don't know who needs to hear this, but good job with your periods. I'm sure they're terribly difficult and you handle them with stoicism and grace. Keep up the good work, champ!

 

[ShiftyBoi]

I'm a wiener-haver and never really knew much about periods growing up. All I knew was that sometimes ladies make blood downstairs and it makes them mad or something.

I have a question though, do you ever get used to it? You deal with it for 30 years or so and then it stops, is there ever a point where the cramps and moodswings and bleeding doesn't bother you anymore? Like I know you can't grow a callus in your uterus, but, human beings adjust to things, is it possible to adjust to something like a period?

I ask out of pure ignorance. As a man It is something I can never physically understand no matter how many times I'm told it's important. The only male experience that's comparable is the pain of any foreign object touching your ballsack. Oh and prostate cancer.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I have a question though, do you ever get used to it? You deal with it for 30 years or so and then it stops, is there ever a point where the cramps and moodswings and bleeding doesn't bother you anymore?

Personal viewpoint, but I think the cyclical nature of it is difficult. If you always had cramps or felt crazy, it'd be easier to get used to/treat. It's kind of like wondering why adults are bothered by having a hangover, because they've had decades of experience having the occasional hangover.

Adding to that, one's period symptoms evolve as one's body and hormone mixture change. The periods you have as a tween are not going to be the same as you have as an adult, and then you might hit a regular stride but suddenly it's peri-menopause. Birth control that regulates the menstrual cycle is another variable; switching between them or stopping/starting changes the hormonal landscape and its effects on muscle, brain and endometrium. Ditto pregnancy and lactation.

There is a learning curve, though. A 13-year-old is problem-solving a brand new body function for the first time, one that has visible and olfactory tells, surrounded by her feral agemates during the most insecure and self-conscious life phase. A 30-year-old is going to have more knowledge of her body and what helps her feel better, (hopefully) more of an internal sense of self, and is also going to have a stash of menstrual products in her purse/desk.


If you have to pick a cancer, prostate cancer is a pretty good one to pick. The old saying is that people die with prostate cancer, not of prostate cancer. There are outliers but it's really slow-growing, so if it happens when you're old enough, it's just symptomatic treatment.

 

[ShiftyBoi]

Personal viewpoint, but I think the cyclical nature of it is difficult. If you always had cramps or felt crazy, it'd be easier to get used to/treat. It's kind of like wondering why adults are bothered by having a hangover, because they've had decades of experience having the occasional hangover.

Adding to that, one's period symptoms evolve as one's body and hormone mixture change. The periods you have as a tween are not going to be the same as you have as an adult, and then you might hit a regular stride but suddenly it's peri-menopause. Birth control that regulates the menstrual cycle is another variable; switching between them or stopping/starting changes the hormonal landscape and its effects on muscle, brain and endometrium. Ditto pregnancy and lactation.

There is a learning curve, though. A 13-year-old is problem-solving a brand new body function for the first time, one that has visible and olfactory tells, surrounded by her feral agemates during the most insecure and self-conscious life phase. A 30-year-old is going to have more knowledge of her body and what helps her feel better, (hopefully) more of an internal sense of self, and is also going to have a stash of menstrual products in her purse/desk.


If you have to pick a cancer, prostate cancer is a pretty good one to pick. The old saying is that people die with prostate cancer, not of prostate cancer. There are outliers but it's really slow-growing, so if it happens when you're old enough, it's just symptomatic treatment.

Alright that adjusts perspective, I thought it was the same level of severity every time. Kind of like getting a migraine out of nowhere, it could be mildly annoying or make you wish you weren't alive.

I have a follow up question though lol, there is a lolcow I follow, Jerry Peet, a trans woman, and she claims to have bought and resold tampons out of her locker for cheap, like some kind of light floral scented Robin Hood. You know, cause she was such a good ally as a snot nosed teenage boy.

Would any fucking teenage girl take tampons from a guy that looks like this:

Science demands an answer.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I have a follow up question though lol, there is a lolcow I follow, Jerry Peet, a trans woman, and she claims to have bought and resold tampons out of her locker for cheap, like some kind of light floral scented Robin Hood. You know, cause she was such a good ally as a snot nosed teenage boy.

Would any fucking teenage girl take tampons from a guy that looks like this:

The "lend me a tampon" question usually gets a pile-on; some women have never been asked and don't believe it, some have had it happen now and then. I've personally been asked if I had spare menstrual supplies in high school, and at work by coworkers, but never by a total stranger.

I really doubt anyone is asking a male-looking person in the bathroom if they have a spare pad. It's (remotely) possible someone yelled out they needed a pad, (slightly less remotely) possible a troon overheard a woman ask another woman. It's rare, though. IMO the kind of woman who doesn't have emergency pads is the kind of woman who's fine with jury-rigging toilet paper or a sock and getting home ASAP. (Actually, this might be why I've been asked at school and work; you can't just leave.)


Reselling tampons from your locker? Why? Tampons are relatively cheap, and bringing money into it makes it super weird. If someone was too embarrassed to buy a box at a store from a clerk, there's no way they'd buy a couple of tampons (to be used right now) from a boy their age.

Also don't buy the scented tampons; I'm not even sure if they're still made, but don't. That's just irritating your vaginal lining for something that's barely even exposed to air in the first place. Scented pads make more sense (but they're still a bad idea).

 

[Yaks]

I was 9 when I had my first period. We had just had the "separate boys from girls and play them a film from the 70s" a few weeks prior. I guess I promptly blocked it out of my head, because I literally thought I was dying and started hysterically sobbing from the bathroom.

I distinctly remember my mom barging in, looking down at me with my pants around my knees, and going "Oh for fuck's sake.." and getting what I needed. Perhaps I had been a little dramatic.