Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I just hope he self-edits the book.

"Gud fud that will mak you Glade" by Jack Scalfani

 

[RodgerDodger]

get you cookbook!

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Bets on how many people it will kill? Assuming anybody reads it.

 

[Charlie Delicious]

get you cookbook!

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I'll add it to my collection

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

Self publishing a book take zero effort. Companies are salivating for you to order a large printing from them.

It’s too bad Mushbrain and Tamham are selling the house, they had a nice spot in the garage next to the pallets of seasoning to store crates of books.

 

[AnOminous]

That's an accepted yearbook quote style. I've seen it in a few other yearbooks from the 1950s-1970s or so. No idea on its origins, but it's not Jack-specific.

This is the kind of shit all my friends put in their yearbook quotes. It seemed cool at the time but then you look back at it and cringe so hard your skeleton falls out.

 

[stets]

How the hell is Jack doing a cookbook? Jack can't cook, come up with his own recipes, or take decent photographs. Shit, Jack can't even type.

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

How the hell is Jack doing a cookbook? Jack can't cook, come up with his own recipes, or take decent photographs. Shit, Jack can't even type.

Is voice to publish a thing?

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

Just watched his most recent videos and I'm suprised he isn't any  more fucked up looking than he is, the eye is definitely fucky but I was expecting a lot less motor control in his mouth. One of my grandmas had a stroke when I was young and I still remember how scary it was that half her face was just stuck and she couldn't move half her mouth. Dammit Jack, now I miss my grandma

Also holy fuck yes I hope he actually makes the cookbook, it will be a glorious disaster on par with the Fit Vegan Ginger's "Almost No-Cook Book" but instead of stevia and cinnimon it will be just cheese and bacon-up in every recipe.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

There's no way this cookbook is going to be anything other than the first result for a google search of "[NAME OF DISH} recipe". Probably with pictures from the first image search result too. He already set the stage for this awhile ago with the whole: "YOU CAN'T COPYRIGHT RECIPES" rant.

 

[Tiresome]

It’s too bad Mushbrain and Tamham are selling the house, they had a nice spot in the garage next to the pallets of seasoning to store crates of books.

It'll be print-on-demand, and overpriced. Jack will sell five, all to people in his intimate circle. (or up his intimate circle)

 

[Seymour Duncan]

get you cookbook!

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Stealing (from Internet Blogs) with Jack
Jack on the Courthouse
F as in Financially Fucked

 

[DontEatThat_2.0]

It'll be print-on-demand, and overpriced. Jack will sell five, all to people in his intimate circle. (or up his intimate circle)

He will handle the sales like a fat kid selling shit for his school fundraiser. Meaning he will just tell his family and church about it, making orders for anyone who feigns interest. Then Tammy will be stuck with having to actually get people to pay for the books and eventually having to pay the entirety of the bill. Whenever Jack does something, Tammy and her family will foot the bill in the end.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

get you cookbook!

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Well that's horrifying.

But luckily nobody is going to read it and those that do will just use it as a joke.

It's entirely irrelevant because none of them are actually using real wagyu to begin with. Real wagyu can cost upwards of 200 dollars a pound. Jack is no doubt using 'wagyu' that's marketed as 'wagyu' beef when in reality it's maybe 1-2% wagyu at most or comes from a 'wagyu cow' that's distantly related to an actual wagyu cow.

It's even worse than that. Wagyu literally means "Japanese beef". So ground wagyu can be just ordinary ground beef from a Japanese cow.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

get you cookbook!

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I wonder how much of this is 'just decided' and how much of this external factors making the great meat kitchen less viable. Maybe Tammy is reigning in his diet finally now that she's married to a crippled nugget and not just a limp lardball. Maybe Jack just can't keep up to the physical demands of cooking, he's whining too much but Tammy insists he do something with his time if he wants to keep this sham of a business up. Writing a good cookbook should be easy right?

Hell, maybe he's had his "I've left nothing of value on this earth" shocker moment from it all, and decided to try making a cookbook. Its pretty obvious family didn't work out for him and probably not much pride on that front as a legacy.

Either way, this book is going to be great. I don't actually think Jack's just gonna plagiarize it all in its entirety, he'll give it the old highschool "rewrite the wiki article" effort at a minimum. But Jacks idea of instruction almost assuredly avoids any actual measurements of time, temperature, or weight for anything going in. This shits gonna resemble 18th century cookbooks, with half the instructions reading as "Bring pan to appropriate heat, add ingredients to desired amount, season to taste. Stir as normal, but not too much or too briskly, until appropriate color sets in. Plate and serve." Bonus points when you can't tell what he's even cooked in the poor lighting of the one shaky hand photo he takes to use in the book.

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

It's even worse than that. Wagyu literally means "Japanese beef". So ground wagyu can be just ordinary ground beef from a Japanese cow.

You’re correctish, gyu is cow. It’s also a little more nuanced in that only 4 breeds are recognized as Wagyu In Japan. Further down the rabbit hole, the specific beef can be labeled by area - Kobe for instance. If you can get your hands on the real deal it’s shipped with a certificate of authenticity and also includes a nose print of the animal on the certificate. They kind of look like a birth certificate. Anyone that would grind A5 should be shot especially on the 9-12 end of the marbling scale. A1-3 isn’t much different than normal beef seen in the US, so grind away imo if you’re so inclined.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

You’re correctish, gyu is cow. It’s also a little more nuanced in that only 4 breeds are recognized as Wagyu In Japan. Further down the rabbit hole, the specific beef can be labeled by area - Kobe for instance. If you can get your hands on the real deal it’s shipped with a certificate of authenticity and also includes a nose print of the animal on the certificate. They kind of look like a birth certificate. Anyone that would grind A5 should be shot especially on the 9-12 end of the marbling scale. A1-3 isn’t much different than normal beef seen in the US, so grind away imo if you’re so inclined.

I agree.

The thought of A5 being ground into a fucking hamburger, which is basically peasant food with the benefit of New World agricultural abundance, is sickening.

 

[Woggie's child bride]

Either way, this book is going to be great. I don't actually think Jack's just gonna plagiarize it all in its entirety, he'll give it the old highschool "rewrite the wiki article" effort at a minimum. But Jacks idea of instruction almost assuredly avoids any actual measurements of time, temperature, or weight for anything going in. This shits gonna resemble 18th century cookbooks, with half the instructions reading as "Bring pan to appropriate heat, add ingredients to desired amount, season to taste. Stir as normal, but not too much or too briskly, until appropriate color sets in. Plate and serve." Bonus points when you can't tell what he's even cooked in the poor lighting of the one shaky hand photo he takes to use in the book.

The difference is those books were typically meant for professional cooks serving some high nobility, they were people who knew their shit and they would typically be working under the chef who wrote it so everyone in the kitchen would know about how much the vague measurements are meant to be. Jack is writing for his fellow mushbrain morons who need to be reminded to make sure the stove is lit.

 

[Seymour Duncan]

You’re correctish, gyu is cow. It’s also a little more nuanced in that only 4 breeds are recognized as Wagyu In Japan. Further down the rabbit hole, the specific beef can be labeled by area - Kobe for instance. If you can get your hands on the real deal it’s shipped with a certificate of authenticity and also includes a nose print of the animal on the certificate. They kind of look like a birth certificate. Anyone that would grind A5 should be shot especially on the 9-12 end of the marbling scale. A1-3 isn’t much different than normal beef seen in the US, so grind away imo if you’re so inclined.

Off-topic but that reminds me, Japanese whisky used to be an absolute wild west where damn near everything was acceptable. The rules were so loose that "distilleries" could and would just straight up import cheap blends from overseas in bulk and bottle it in Japan, that was enough to legally make it "Japanese whisky". I almost picked up one of those bottles once, I was looking for something new but some cursory research revealed that it's just Scotch that spent a month on a boat so I picked up another bottle of Ardbeg instead.

I had to look it up and the regulations are a lot more sane now (it actually has to be distilled and aged in the Japanese region now), but it took years of mayhem for the regulations to come into effect in 2021 and apparently there's still a year of grace period left.

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

Off-topic but that reminds me, Japanese whisky used to be an absolute wild west where damn near everything was acceptable. The rules were so loose that "distilleries" could and would just straight up import cheap blends from overseas in bulk and bottle it in Japan, that was enough to legally make it "Japanese whisky". I almost picked up one of those bottles once, I was looking for something new but some cursory research revealed that it's just Scotch that spent a month on a boat so I picked up another bottle of Ardbeg instead.

I had to look it up and the regulations are a lot more sane now (it actually has to be distilled and aged in the Japanese region now), but it took years of mayhem for the regulations to come into effect in 2021 and apparently there's still a year of grace period left.

Lol imagine picking up what you think was a fine bottle of Japanese whiskey, only to be struck blind because it was some black market wood alcohol.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

Bonus points when you can't tell what he's even cooked in the poor lighting of the one shaky hand photo he takes to use in the book.

Imagine a cookbook where every picture looks like this.