Virginity & Society - how virginity effects the social lives of people

[Grog]

what do you mean?

What did he mean with it?

 

[Ido]

what do you mean?

What did he mean with it?

Virgins were thrown into volcanoes as sacrificial offerings, so "Just throw me into a volcano" was pretty much my autistic way of saying I was a virgin.

 

[LordAzazel]

My only "success" is with other men, which kinda makes me sad that one can't choose to be gay

But I did everything I could, I even spend an hour sitting on a bench wishing people would talk to me.

I also propositioned my mother, shrink and judge for sex, and those murderers refused

...I might be emulating the wrong people on this board.

 

[Keerakh]

Virgins were thrown into volcanoes as sacrificial offerings, so "Just throw me into a volcano" was pretty much my autistic way of saying I was a virgin.

ah.
Dont worry about it. You shouldnt be judged over it one way or the other.

 

[Ido]

ah.
Dont worry about it. You shouldnt be judged over it one way or the other.

I don't mind if people judge me for it, they can think whatever they want about me, if it bothered me I wouldn't have lasted long here. It's one of those things I just laugh at.

 

[BT 075]

The reason some of you people are virgins is because your avatar is an manga.

 

[Scratch This Nut]

The reason some of you people are virgins is because your avatar is an manga.

Can't we just admit that everyone on Kiwifarms is?

 

[Stardust]

'Virgin' is useful for reference, but for the most part, as some others have said, it is up to you whether or not you embrace it. If you want to make 'being a virgin' your primary passion and your ultimate trait, go ahead, but you may find better success if you focused on something, like, oh...

I don't know...

... being amusing, keeping aware of current events, or showing a degree of pride and self-love by caring for yourself, be this working out or maintaining an aura of confidence -- in other words, be the opposite of [most of] the individuals you spectate here!​

Something overlooked when it comes to "female virginity" is simply being another's fantasy. At least for me. It could be annoying to hear something along the lines of, "'Ey giiirl! I t'inks it real hot you's a virgin an' shits.", even if they didn't mean to come off as creepy or silly. I have, in my own personal experience, felt like an accessory.

Like, dude, treat me like a person. I know my boobs can be hypnotizing, but they're a part of me and not all of me. Despite what porn says, I am more than booty, high heels, and sandwich-making. The virgin fantasy is common enough, and I understand why it is appealing, but you won't get to fulfill that fantasy if you don't see us me as a woman first, fantasy second.

That said, sex is about what you bring to it and make of it. Virgin men aren't a big deal for me, mostly due to the fact they had been willing to listen and communicate (some, not all; virgins, like non-virgins, can be assholes too). Men, who believe themselves to be hung Viking love-gods, can be quite stubborn in this regard. As a result of the former's behavior we get over the anxiety and insecurities, and we get to what matters most:

Gettin' sticky.

 

[Grog]

... being amusing, keeping aware of current events, or showing a degree of pride and self-love by caring for yourself, be this working out or maintaining an aura of confidence -- in other words, be the opposite of [most of] the individuals you spectate here!.

That will only promote a virgin from loveshy lolcow to serial friendzone enterer.

 

[Lackadaisy]

My grandmother always said, "Take a look at the person you want to sleep with. If you want to risk having children with them, then go right on ahead. Condoms aren't perfect."

 

[Vitriol]

My grandmother always said, "Take a look at the person you want to sleep with. If you want to risk having children with them, then go right on ahead. Condoms aren't perfect."

just put it in her butt.

Male virginity is psychological while female has the physical aspect of the hymen, although there are some exceptions. I've heard a misogynistic argument that men can't be virgins based on this claim, and it's man's responsibility to deflower a woman. Perhaps this explains the cultural paradox where men are expected to actively pursue women to relieve their status, while women should hold on to their's until the time is right. Unfortunately, rape isn't taken into account, and that carries a whole other deal in regards to shame.

if a key unlocks many doors it is a master key, if a lock opens to many keys it's a shitty lock.

Also talking about your sex life in a semi public place with strangers is waaay oversharing.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Spoiler: TW: Powerlevelling

About 10 years ago, I was a virgin with rage. I'll admit it.

I was such a virgin with rage that I almost fell in with the manosphere.

I read the Mystery Method and David De Angelo's "Double your Dating." I learned how to neg ("nice dress, are you wearing it for a bet?") and to DHV ("of course, I had some difficulty justifying to my client that I was charging £220.00 per hour for my time"), and to reverse kino ("you have something in your hair *uses it as opportunity to stroke her face accidentally on purpose*") This didn't get me lucky. It did, however, get me thrown out of pubs for being a creephat, regardless of how well dressed or groomed I was at the time.

What the PUA/MRA mob don't tell you is that pick up artistry is basically a numbers game. Of course the grease-stain who spends every evening hanging out in meat-markety bars and clubs is going to score more often. But how many times will he be spat at, slapped, or kneed in the knackers?

I contemplated hiring a prostitute to get the V plates wrenched off my being. I didn't though.

Then I moved to London and ceased caring about it. I decided that my time would be better spent trying to do well at my job and enjoying self without constantly thinking, "MUST FUCK WOMENS." And do you know what?

It worked.

I was 200 times more successful (approx.) with girls than I ever was when trying all the PUA bollox.

I wasn't a virgin shortly after that. This is because desperation is a massive turn off, and lamenting being a virgin with rage and trying PUA nonsense is obvious and desperate.

The best advice I can give anyone who's fretting about being a virgin is this. Don't. If you get dragged into a bull session about Your First Time, lie like a used car salesman. Better still, make it completely and totally unbelievable. And if asked straight up, "are you a virgin," lie.

The sort of people who care about whether you're a virgin or not, well, they probably are all virgins as well. There's a cartoon in Viz magazine over here called Sid the Sexist. In it, the fat, ugly, unemployable protagonist goes on constantly about how awesome he is at getting lucky and how he's God's Gift to Women. When in reality he's basically the Geordie equivalent of CWC. All his mates are unemployable failures with girls too, but lie about it.

 

[Lorento]

If you get dragged into a bull session about Your First Time, lie like a used car salesman.

I was almost dragged into such a game but I killed it dead with 'Well it all started when my uncle came round.'

 

[Cosmos]

Spoiler: From a female perspective

I'm a virgin and don't plan on having sex anytime soon. I've never felt shamed or ostracized for being a virgin, although I must admit I roll my eyes sometimes at how sex-crazed some people and some parts of our culture can be. I don't think that I'm better or worse than people who enjoy sex, I just don't get it. There's a good chance I might start to want to have sex if I ever fall in love with someone, but right now I couldn't care less.

As for a societal perspective, I think it's really dumb to shame someone based on their sex life. We shouldn't condemn people who have lots of sex (I mean, unless they're spreading STDs or doing something else irresponsible) nor should we condemn virgins/people who don't have sex. It's just such a stupid thing to get hung up over.

I will say however, I'm glad that the stigma against women who lose their virginity before marriage has lessened quite a bit in the West, even if it is still present in some places. When I look at young girls who are stoned to death in the Middle East for being caught with boys, I can't help but feel like we've dodged a bullet.

 

[meatslab]

if a key unlocks many doors it is a master key, if a lock opens to many keys it's a shitty lock.

Every dude I've heard that says/believes this unironically is always the type who thinks vaginas get loose from sex with multiple people. For some reason sex with one person over a period of time doesn't make it loose in their mind.

 

[Vitriol]

Every dude I've heard that says/believes this unironically is always the type who thinks vaginas get loose from sex with multiple people. For some reason sex with one person over a period of time doesn't make it loose in their mind.

sounds like something a shitty lock would say.


but seriously its just a daft wee idiom people say in pubs.

 

[meatslab]

sounds like something a shitty lock would say.


but seriously its just a daft wee idiom people say in pubs.

I just think it's really dumb. I really can't ever understand the mental gymnastics people go through to justify that kind of "logic".

It also doesn't take gay sex into account. As long as people are safe have sex with whoever you want. Who cares.

 

[Vitriol]

I just think it's really dumb. I really can't ever understand the mental gymnastics people go through to justify that kind of "logic".

It also doesn't take gay sex into account. As long as people are safe have sex with whoever you want. Who cares.

jesus cares Meatslab. Jesus cares.

 

[Scratch This Nut]

jesus cares Meatslab. Jesus cares.

Jesus still loves them as much as everyone else but @Jon-Kacho

 

[LordAzazel]

I just think it's really dumb. I really can't ever understand the mental gymnastics people go through to justify that kind of "logic".

It also doesn't take gay sex into account. As long as people are safe have sex with whoever you want. Who cares.

Ahhh I love that kind of people, I really do. They're also inclined to spout evopsych bullshit at you.

If you then point out their whole little theory falls apart if you look at different cultures / timeperiods, their brains simply can't take it.

I had a discussion once with a guy who honestly believed that if a guy cheats no one should care but if a woman cheats she should get the death penalty. Fun times, fun times.

He "demonstrated" that women "naturally" want less varied sex partners than men by sharing some statistics about the number of sex partners heterosexual men and women self-reported.

When I pointed out that mathematically the average number of sex partners of heterosexual men and woman by definiton should be same, or heterosexual men are having waaay more sex with other men than heterosexuality would imply, he just claimed mathematics must be wrong. Sure dude. Sure.