Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[Nicholas II of Russia]

We reached the 100 pages on this thread! Congratulations Shane, you fat faggot! Your severe autism and arrogance lead us to reaching to this level. And still not answering anything about the pedo allegations, that's quite a record for someone like you!

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I thought kinkshaming and oppressing MAPs was bad?

It's only bad when it's one of them. It's perfectly fine to use if you don't like the person.

We reached the 100 pages on this thread! Congratulations Shane, you fat faggot! Your severe autism and arrogance lead us to reaching to this level. And still not answering anything about the pedo allegations, that's quite a record for someone like you!

I think this is a record for a thread getting this big this fast.

 

[Broadside]

It's crazy to think that Shane will likely be dead in a few years with his obesity and sedentary lifestyle. I could literally dance on this nigga's grave if I just wait a little longer.

 

[Associate Rick]

I could literally dance on this nigga's grave if I just wait a little longer.

Just make sure it's the truffle shuffle.

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

Shame is going around twitter stalker childing users. It's okay when he does it because he's a l33t cyber security expert.

Also 100 pages in less than a month! Congrats buddy! That's got to be a record. I know it's not a change of pace from your normal diet but have some cake. You earned it.

 

[Broadside]

View attachment 5066893
Shame is going around twitter stalker childing users. It's okay when he does it because he's a l33t cyber security expert.

Also 100 pages in less than a month! Congrats buddy! That's got to be a record. I know it's not a change of pace from your normal diet but have some cake. You earned it.

This is what a successful person does with their free time

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

He seems really determined to get on Null’s radar and stay there.

Congrats on being deputized, @Spunt . I hadn’t noticed, but I guess I’m not the dedicated Farmer that Shame is.

 

[Spunt]

He seems really determined to get on Null’s radar and stay there.

Congrats on being deputized, @Spunt . I hadn’t noticed, but I guess I’m not the dedicated Farmer that Shame is.

I may only be a deputy, but Shame is the Sheriff. His Sheriff's badge is a tiny bit rusty, but it's nothing that a butterknife can't fix.

 

[Octopi]

I think evidence against the delusion theory is that his Resume on LinkedIn is honest. He knows what his work history really is, he's just embarrassed and ashamed of it.

As he should be.

I actually think that adds to the delusion theory, to be honest. He is clearly not looking for work, so he has zero reason to even have a LinkedIn. Hell, since he's not exactly actively networking or using it as a resume, he could fudge the fuck out of those job titles to make them sound more impressive, if not lie outright.

The only feasible reason he has one up is for bragging points, and I think he thinks those positions are legitimately bragworthy. One man's trash is another man's treasure - and one universe's "Customer Support Assistant" is a Shane's "cybersecurity expert".

 

[A Sunset]

ONE HUNDRED PAGES!

You did it, Shame Porkins. This is beautiful

Conglaturations.



I can tell Shame is happy too. Just look at that smile.



I hope Shame enjoys this special celebration. Perhaps to celebrate, he’ll attack someone on Twitter, and after asked to debate a talking point say “Fuck, you‘re dumb” or “Go win a Darwin Award” and then block them.

Whatever you do, just watch out for Butter Knives.
​

 

[LobsterBoy669]

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Raping Implement" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Butter knives deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine butter knife in America for 2 dollars (that's about 268 yen) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even rape asses of solid steel with my butter knife.

American smiths spend years working on a single butter knife and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest rape implements known to mankind.
Butter knives are thrice as hard as steak knives and thrice as penetrating for that matter too. Anything a steak knife can rape, a butter knife can rape better. I'm pretty sure a butter knife could easily rape a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical thrust.

Ever wonder why modern Europe never bothered re-conquering America? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined babysitters and their butter knives of rape. Even in World War II, Japanese soldiers targeted the American men with the butter knives first because their raping power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Butter knives are simply the best rape implement that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Butter knives:
(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d12 Rectal Damage when inserted anally, 19-20 crit Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the raping power of Butter knives in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Butter knives need to do more rape in d20, see my new stat block.

 

[Broadside]

View attachment 5067018ONE HUNDRED PAGES!View attachment 5067018

You did it, Shame Porkins. This is beautiful

Conglaturations.

View attachment 5067027

I can tell Shame is happy too. Just look at that smile.

View attachment 5067031

I hope Shame enjoys this special celebration. Perhaps to celebrate, he’ll attack someone on Twitter, and after asked to debate a talking point say “Fuck, you‘re dumb” or “Go win a Darwin Award” and then block them.

Whatever you do, just watch out for Butter Knives.
View attachment 5067035​

Woop! Woop! Let's go!! Butter knives are on me!

 

[Hyacinth Bucket (Bouquet)]

I may only be a deputy, but Shame is the Sheriff. His Sheriff's badge is a tiny bit rusty, but it's nothing that a butterknife can't fix.

You’re Wyatt Earp to Shame’s Virgil.

 

[ten dollars off]

Shane is such an unhappy person. We all argue from time to time, but unless it's a core part of our career, we also spend SOME time engaging in fun, collaborative, constructive, positive discussion when using our personal social media accounts.

All Shane does is attack people, start arguments, and try to convince people he is important. Where are the civil interactions with likeminded individuals sharing appreciation on something? Where are the interactions with real friends and acquaintances? I cannot imagine the mental hellscape he deals with every day to act as he does. I kinda feel sorry for him. What trauma did he suffer on his childhood that turned him into who he is?

 

[An Sionnach Seang]

Shane is such an unhappy person. We all argue from time to time, but unless it's a core part of our career, we also spend SOME time engaging in fun, collaborative, constructive, positive discussion when using our personal social media accounts.

All Shane does is attack people, start arguments, and try to convince people he is important. Where are the civil interactions with likeminded individuals sharing appreciation on something? Where are the interactions with real friends and acquaintances? I cannot imagine the mental hellscape he deals with every day to act as he does. I kinda feel sorry for him. What trauma did he suffer on his childhood that turned him into who he is?

in fairness, this kind of behaviour is typical for intravenous twitter addicts

 

[Broadside]

What trauma did he suffer on his childhood that turned him into who he is?

You know the answer to the question

 

[ten dollars off]

You know the answer to the question

OH JESUS, RIGHT. The rape. I always forget about the I Can't Believe It's Not Buttrape. My bad.

 

[sanguiduct]

Incidentally, I think "worth less than nothing" is an excellent way to describe a person who receives free money out of the pockets of the working class while contributing exactly zero to the world around him. A person who is mathematically quantifiably a net negative on society. I wonder if we know anybody like that?

 

[Jeff_the_Thriller]

This is what a successful person does with their free time

I know, right. What kind of a loser follows someone around through various Twitter threads and then comments about it?

You see Shane that is called self awareness and sarcasm. Two things, much like your penis, that are beyond your grasp.

 

[easy]

he's a fat guy..
for you