Funny stories about your period

ShiftyBoi said:
I have a question though, do you ever get used to it? You deal with it for 30 years or so and then it stops, is there ever a point where the cramps and moodswings and bleeding doesn't bother you anymore?
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I haven’t yet, and I’ve been having a period for a couple decades.

I think it’s the on-going mess of it. I’ll pass clots the size of a grape that bleed through everything, and either that means I need to shower or launder undies or sheets or clean the toilet or… It’s always something, and you can’t really predict what it’ll be.

The mess just takes so much extra time. The cramps I can deal with, and I don’t think I get moody, but it’s so demoralizing to put on clean underwear and realize four hours later that you’ve bled through a tampon and now they’re stained forever.
 
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My mother told me about them at 8 very brief conversation. I thought it just happened once and that was it...I also thought a panty liners were what you used. I was not told of cramps, pain and the red flood of clots. So first period shows up I stick a panty liners in and head off to school. Couple of hours later I was puking in the bathroom and blood soaking my jeans almost to the knees. They called my mother and she showed up and laughed her ass off...to this fucking day....she loves to tell this story...she's in her 80's. Oh and I wasn't allowed to use tampons...those were for married ladies.
 
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I swear my period ALWAYS waits until I have something away from home to do and then it arrives. Once, it literally delayed itself until the very day we went off on vacation.

I think my uterus knows that I don't want biological children and it's determined to be a pain in the ass in vengeance.
 
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ShiftyBoi said:
I'm a wiener-haver and never really knew much about periods growing up. All I knew was that sometimes ladies make blood downstairs and it makes them mad or something.

I have a question though, do you ever get used to it? You deal with it for 30 years or so and then it stops, is there ever a point where the cramps and moodswings and bleeding doesn't bother you anymore? Like I know you can't grow a callus in your uterus, but, human beings adjust to things, is it possible to adjust to something like a period?

I ask out of pure ignorance. As a man It is something I can never physically understand no matter how many times I'm told it's important. The only male experience that's comparable is the pain of any foreign object touching your ballsack. Oh and prostate cancer.
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I asked my wife and she told me it's a bit like having to take a 5 day long, very inconvenient, slow, wet, painful shit that's prefixed by a massively painful headache
 
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Had my first period at 11 and thought I was sick because it looked like shit in my underwear. I didn’t think it was a big deal at first and brushed it off but now whenevr I have my period Im sleepy af for like 4 days. in High school i would just not go to school wherever I got my period because they barely ever give bathroom breaks.
 
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Mama Zirn told me about periods when I was around 9 or so because she got hers at 9. So I knew about them before I got mine at 13. My reaction to things that are scary has always been getting angry at whatever it is as if it has inconvenienced me. So when I got my first period I was pissed because I ruined my favourite Batman panties. Had to call my mom over and ask her to get me a new pair of panties and told her I'd gotten my period. She was ecstatic and posted a bulletin on MySpace about me becoming a woman :|

Not my story but mama Zirn's story. She got her first period at 9, as I mentioned, and went to my grandpa to tell him that she was bleeding. Gramps went and got her a bandage and she told him "No, dad, from down there." and he went out to go buy her pads. He comes home with them and my grandma is confused and tells him "I don't have my period and those aren't the brand I buy." so he tells her that my mom started hers. Grandma was upset, of course, that my mother didn't go to her to tell her about it and went to gramps instead.

Oh! There was also the time my grandma's cousin asked my uncle to go buy her pads because she was out. Gran's cousin was highly embarrassed about her period for whatever reason so my uncle decided to come back without the pads in a shopping bag. When he got close to the apartment building we used to live in he started yelling her name and asking if those were the pads she wanted while waving them in the air for everyone to see. She wanted to fucking murder him because of how embarrassed she was.
 
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GhostTaylor said:
Had my first period at 11 and thought I was sick because it looked like shit in my underwear.
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This is an often-overlooked point: those pamphlets and filmstrips tend to show a cartoon blood drop, if they don't go blue.

If there were equal representation of the spotting and stuttering Marmite-smeared-on-toast periods, it would help a lot with the confusion.
 
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Aunt Carol said:
This is an often-overlooked point: those pamphlets and filmstrips tend to show a cartoon blood drop, if they don't go blue.

If there were equal representation of the spotting and stuttering Marmite-smeared-on-toast periods, it would help a lot with the confusion.
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Yeah they don't tell you that a lot of time, it'll be this mucusy brown smear and then the deluge of clots
 
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Menstrual Kickstarter confession post: I am sometimes overly optimistic!

Lucy Cup: supposed to be anti-spill via the removable insert. I guess I forgot that my heavy flow comes with big floppy clots, which clogged the flap open and/or straddled the insert-holder and backed up. Can't say if it would work for someone with an all-liquid period. Came in some pretty colors and it was comfortable, just didn't work for me. Got a two-pack so I donated the unopened one.

Voxapod: nice! Smaller capacity, but I really love the grip on the bottom of it and the rim design. Wish more cups had an eye to easy removal, or at least ladder/loop tails on them. I use this on lighter days.

Cup of Fame: did not make funding. It honestly didn't look like it would work well, but I was tickled at the prospect of a menstrual shitpost.

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First period after implant....

I can deal with this shit. Light, not painful, not annoying, no giant clots slurping out.
 
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Okay, I stumbled into this thread when I saw that the last post in the Off-Topic section was in here.

I just have one question, as I know of no other place to ask it here...

I saw some stupid commercial for a "first moon party" that was a parody of a celebration for a girl getting her first period. Is that something that some people actually do? I do not see why menarche would be something to be happy about not to mention having everybody else know about it.

I am not female, but if somebody said "congratulations" it would seem awkward as fuck.

I will be going now, as I do not mean to intrude into a female-only space.
 
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Hepativore said:
I saw some stupid commercial for a "first moon party" that was a parody of a celebration for a girl getting her first period. Is that something that some people actually do?
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Yes, but very very rarely. Overinvolved moms, used to be the crunchy type but now it's more girlbosses. Usually the type to be mentally writing their blog post about it while they're icing the uterus cake.

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Hepativore said:
I saw some stupid commercial for a "first moon party" that was a parody of a celebration for a girl getting her first period. Is that something that some people actually do?
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Some cultures, yes, but it's not as stupidly elaborate. For example, in Japan, the entire family eats sekihan (red bean rice) when the daughter gets her first period, they just don't explicitly announce it outside of that.
 
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Used to get horrific cramps, now if I feel them coming on and can pop some Advil and apply heat (a heat pack or a shower) it keeps them bearable for a few hours. Only cramp the first day or two. Been using a menstrual cup for years and it's a game-changer. My periods got more regular and much lighter after Accutane (during which I stopped having them entirely). Never bled heavily enough to necessitate emptying the cup more often than every 12 hours and haven't had any major leakage. Never been on birth control. My condolences to those of you who regularly bleed through into your clothes or onto bedding.
 
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Big Miss Steak said:
My dermatologist accepts abstaining from sexual activity in lieu of going on birth control. Thankfully. Can't imagine wrestling with the mood instability birth control brings along with the mental instability Accutane causes.
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I remembered America wasn't the world, and then looked up the most recent iPLEDGE rubric and was glad to see they allowed abstinence now/again, at the cost of changing the categories to "female with reproductive potential" and "female non-reproductive potential."

Man, with a monitoring system this intense toward a teratogenic acne drug, it puts the lie to just about any "oh we can't adequately monitor XYZ" claims.
 
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