Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[Sumptinsfuckey]

Morning Shane! Gee that "timeout" didn't last all that long did it? Thats O.K. buddy, I get it, I've tried to quit smoking multiple times and some of those attempts have only lasted 6 hours, I feel you. And all I have to deal with is a 30+ year, two pack a day smoking addiction. Having to give up the ONLY attention you've received from other human beings in the last two decades? Now thats tough.

Heres the thing though, an actual time out, not just from the farms, but from twitter, facebook, and the internet in general would be the best thing for ya big guy. Because while we ARE giving you attention buddy, it aint doing you any favors.

Now, on the subject of your "disabillity"? Lets be honest Shane, it's bullshit. We know it's bullshit, you know it's bullshit, we know you know it's bullshit, and you know we know that you know it's bullshit. It's bullshit all the way down. Give you an example, at the moment I'm dropping off a load of frozen pork in detroit. The guy doing the receiving? He's in a fucking mobillity scooter buddy. He wheels himself out the door, rolls up to the trucks waiting, takes the BOL's, and wheels his ass back into the office where he does the PW and tells the lumpers to move thier asses. And Big Noke, you know damned well that if you can spend all day and all night tweeting, obsessively refreshing your thread, and finding random people to argue with online, you could do the same. You choose not to, because you're lazy, which, not for nothing, is also why you're such a fatass.

Get offline, get a fucking job, and stop being such a parasite buddy. Cause if you don't, I can almost guarantee some aylog who's more autistic and MATI than usual is going to try and get your disabillty pulled. And given that your own behavior proves you can work but choose not to?

By the way, its now day 28 and your secret squirrel buddies still aint sent me to gitmo for terroristic mockery!

 

[Shig O'nella]

Maybe retired is like re-tired.

To be fair, the fucker does look like the Michelin man.

 

[Broadside]

Shane Nokes on Twitter: "Oh Worm... I was so "fooled" that I literall…

archived 19 Apr 2023 00:13:48 UTC

archive.is

Shane posted a screenshot of a groupchat he is in.

Shane.....
SHANE......
SHANE!!!

I NEED you to tell me who in this group you named "Daddy's Slut"
IS IT PATRICK OR JACKIE?!?!?

Shane, I NEED to know!

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Oh God he's doing the Kurt Eichenwald defense: grabbing his wife's phone and pretending there's a conversation going on to totally own the trolls. Shane stop pretending you and your gf are totally laughing about all this, it's just pitiful.

 

[Johnny Salami]

So when is the knock coming, Shane? Seriously hoping you weren't full of shit when you said you were a cybersecurity expert who got doxed in less than a week. Like there are lolcows here who still haven't been properly doxed and your mad hacking skills couldn't prevent the autist from calling bullshit to your MS claims

 

[ten dollars off]

 

[internet friend]

To be fair, the fucker does look like the Michelin man.

If only he was. Then he could be actually useful for once in his life and get me a new set of tyres.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

What on EARTH could be the reason?


Twitter | Archive

"he used to deny I even worked at Microsoft and banned for me "impersonating" Microsoft staff several times."
"banned for me "impersonating" Microsoft staff several times."

Imagine having to deal with such resentment towards a forum for banning you for your bullshit lies and hostile behaviour. Clearly this dude doesn't have real problems, either that or holds grudges left and right, that would be a miserable existence.

 

[Nevar Evar]

Maybe retired is like re-tired. As in he's once again tired from lugging all the extra weight around.

Well he is re-tarded, that's for sure. And fat.

 

[Black Cat2]

Imagine having to deal with such resentment towards a forum for banning you for your bullshit lies and hostile behaviour. Clearly this dude doesn't have real problems, either that or holds grudges left and right, that would be a miserable existence.

Normal people who get banned from a forum just leave and move on with their lives. Being banned is a clear sign you're not wanted, and most people don't want to be where they're not wanted.

However, Shane is a complete loser who has no friends or family, and being banned from a forum completely destroys his entire social network. Makes sense why he seethes so much, since he what little social connections he had after being banned.

 

[Ethics Gradient]

Normal people who get banned from a forum just leave and move on with their lives. Being banned is a clear sign you're not wanted, and most people don't want to be where they're not wanted.

However, Shane is a complete loser who has no friends or family, and being banned from a forum completely destroys his entire social network. Makes sense why he seethes so much, since he what little social connections he had after being banned.

Well on the bright side he has us now for company! No need to cope and seethe, Shane!

 

[A Sunset]

Normal people who get banned from a forum just leave and move on with their lives. Being banned is a clear sign you're not wanted, and most people don't want to be where they're not wanted.

However, Shane is a complete loser who has no friends or family, and being banned from a forum completely destroys his entire social network. Makes sense why he seethes so much, since he what little social connections he had after being banned.

If you have a career, hobbies, family, and meaningful relationships/friends, being banned from a fucking forum is Meaningless. The fact that it’s just Microsoft fan forums or some shit that causes all this anger, to the point where Shane’s malding years later and calling them “disgusting”, is really hysterical.

Kind of like how he flailed around in front of ONA and basically forced them to interact with him by saying he “super hacked” them, which drew the Kiwis attention too. Then when he gets made fun of and gets a thread, Shame starts malding and goes on a warpath calling everyone who laughed at him ”evil swatters and terrorists.”

Truly, Shame‘s character is both hilarious and pathetic, perfectly balanced in equal measure, like an obese Yin and Yang.

Oh God he's doing the Kurt Eichenwald defense: grabbing his wife's phone and pretending there's a conversation going on to totally own the trolls. Shane stop pretending you and your gf are totally laughing about all this, it's just pitiful.

I don’t even think the conversations where really with his forever-girlfriend. I think he took her phone or made a fake account, and faked the whole interaction to own the forum and that asshole I’m Just a Worm who says he has no experience with women and has a shrimp dick.

If only he was. Then he could be actually useful for once in his life and get me a new set of tyres.

This isn’t the Michelin Man, but close enough.

 

[alawital]

Some lolcows get me a little philosophical sometimes. Shane is one of these cows. Think of all the pages full of posts here, on Twitter, on random forums across the internet, thousands if not hundreds of thousands of people have been exposed to Shane's repugnant behavior, and many of them find the experience novel enough that they go on to document and further analyze this guy's postings.

Why? Why would you do this to yourself? I mean, Shane plainly finds all of this unpleasant and unwelcoming too, as evidenced by his impotent rage and insults. It's crazy to think that none of the 2,171 posts here so far would have been made if he just knew to shut his fucking mouth. But he doesn't know any better; he has never shown a modicum of self-awareness or a capability to grow, and so this course of events is as inevitable as Shane's cardiac arrest, at a terrifically young age I might add.

I get that one can unfortunately get addicted to negative stimulus, and this happens to otherwise fully reasonable and enjoyable people as well. But the attention Shane draws is pure and undistilled negativity: who in the fuck has EVER said anything along the lines of "Shane, thanks for that tidbit!" or "damn Shane, you got his ass in that Twitter argument!" People obviously don't want to talk to him and don't want him around.

Think about your life. Think about most everyone who's gotten to know you to some degree. Do they hate you? Do they despise you? Do they look down upon you? Some people probably do, but they are going to be a vanishing minority, probably. Well, 99.99999% (100?) of people who have ever met Shane Nokes find him to be nothing more than laughing stock. Well-adjusted people would take one look at themselves if they ever found themselves in such a situation, and find ways to adjust and to find connection with others. Shane strives towards none of these. What a deeply depressing picture of a life. What fascinating choices that led you to this point, Shane. And now, we're the biggest dopamine hit you have. Not a successful day job at Microsoft where you change the world, not a stable home life to look forward to at the end of the day, certainly not your workout routine. Us. Your haters.



Edit: I have to add, Shane, this one is for your ears. If my boyfriend ever did anything as batshit crazy as sharing his Kiwi Farms thread with me and asking me for my reaction so he could take a screenshot for Twitter to own his hadurrs, I would shoot back a few half-hearted messages to his liking, and immediately begin planning how to rescue myself. It's like when your big and violent fiance threatens you at night, and you wait until he goes to work next morning to move your shit out of his apartment, except in this case I guess instead of actually big and strong, it's a fat manchild who pretends to be hot shit (pretty likely that she's fallen for his Microsoft/FBI/Secret Service scam and fears his retribution). I guarantee your girlfriend feels similarly: even if this is not an immediate red flag to her, and even if she's going along with you, at the very least this is plainly desperate and pathetic from anyone's perspective.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

So he's been saying "retired before 40" for years. Being a welfare leach isn't being retired you fat sack of shit

Everybody I know who's retired in their 40's did so with a big wad of cash. Guys like Porkins say they "retired" when in truth they were just fired from their last job and couldn't get a new one.

People in tech talk and your name gets around meaning if you screw up somewhere they'll let people know who then won't hire you because of it.

Basically at this point, he's unemployable at least in the tech field. But I'm sure Walmart is always looking for new greeters or guys to wrangle the shopping carts.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Everybody I know who's retired in their 40's did so with a big wad of cash. Guys like Porkins say they "retired" when in truth they were just fired from their last job and couldn't get a new one.

People in tech talk and your name gets around meaning if you screw up somewhere they'll let people know who then won't hire you because of it.

Basically at this point, he's unemployable at least in the tech field. But I'm sure Walmart is always looking for new greeters or guys to wrangle the shopping carts.

There are literally internal lists for both people you should hire and not hire. There have been many times some company has either emailed me or called me up for a job when I didn't even apply for it all because people "talk" in the field. They want people they can trust and will black list those they can't.

 

[A Sunset]

Shane is so not mad and laughing at his Kiwi Farms thread that he’s already responded again, after saying the thread was on time out.

Fairly certain @alawital got under his skin with their great analysis, but Shame’s too afriad to name them.


Second reply in less than 24 hours. Not mad though.

There are literally internal lists for both people you should hire and not hire. There have been many times some company has either emailed me or called me up for a job when I didn't even apply for it all because people "talk" in the field. They want people they can trust and will black list those they can't.

Especially in Tech, it’s a small world and if you start autistic fights with people they’re not going to forget that. If I ever dealt with someone that acted like Shame in my field, I would laugh at it and never hire or recommend him again. And yes that story would get around EVERYWHERE.

That’s probably why Shame faked his disability, he gave up on his dream career because he fucked himself in the industry. And he thinks he’s too good to work a blue-collar job like everyone else.

If my boyfriend ever did anything as batshit crazy as sharing his Kiwi Farms thread with me and asking me for my reaction so he could take a screenshot for Twitter to own his hadurrs, I would shoot back a few half-hearted messages to his liking, and immediately begin planning how to rescue myself.

I hate to ruin da bit because it got funny results, but Shame I actually don’t think you understand that I was just fucking with you with that whole interaction. Everything I said was to get you to do funny shit. And you tried to own me by taking screenshots of bizarre conversations like Kurt Eichenwald, and bizarrely involved your girlfriend.

It ended with you reposting my BitMoji I drew to make you look fat and bald, and my message to your girlfriend about how you have a shrimp dick, can’t fuck, and mooch off her.

FR homie you need to get off Twitter you’re fucking retarded. But you’re Elon’s slave and can’t attack Christians grieving murdered children if you do that.

EDIT: and yes you don’t know anything about women dude. The idea that you’d subject a woman to this kind of shit, especially calling her fat and then asking someone called “I’m Just a Worm” on the Internet to draw her Ugly, shows a complete lack of relationship skills.

Women struggle enough with feeling attractive as it is. You’re just bizarrely negging your partner, who probably has very low self-esteem to put up with this kind of shit. It’s sad TBH.

 

[Black Cat2]

Shane is so not mad and laughing at his Kiwi Farms thread that he’s already responded again, after saying the thread was on time out.

It has been 18 hours since he put KF and OnA into timeout. In that time, literally all his tweets have been about either KF or OnA. Not only is he a pathetic loser who can't step away when the keyboard when he's banned, he also can't control his urges and step away when he himself promises to.

 

[alawital]

Keep squealing, piggy. Just like how an addict justifies their "one last hit".

 

[A Sunset]

Keep squealing, piggy. Just like how an addict justifies their "one last hit".
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He’s actually brain-damaged.


“Time for another ONA/Kiwi direct reply timeout for the next several days.”

Shane, you directly replied to the thread twice. Does that make sense? Did I make that simple enough for your “college level reading comprehension”? Oink once for yes, Twice for no. We can try this again if you need more help.


This is what not talking about your thread looks like.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

He’s actually brain-damaged.

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“Time for another ONA/Kiwi direct reply timeout for the next several days.”

Shane, you directly replied to the thread twice. Does that make sense? Did I make that simple enough for your “college level reading comprehension”? Oink once for yes, Twice for no. We can try this again if you need more help.

He can't help himself. Tubby is getting so mad and hurt over the possibility of losing his only source of income. It's like watching a feral pig trying to defend himself by only squealing loudly. The thing that he has been doing for 20 years at this point.

Keep squealing, piggy. Just like how an addict justifies their "one last hit".
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Seems like Tubby doesn't like being given advice. If this were an intervention program he probably would be bitching about how he doesn't need help and that he's totally fine, just like the way he bitched to the doctors on his health problems.

 

[Black Cat2]

Seems like I touched a nerve. It took him literally a minute to reply to me making fun of him for being unable to log off. For someone who's putting KF on timeout, he sure does keep pressing F5 on his KF page, huh?

Hi Shane. I know you're reading this. How does it feel like to have so little self control that you can't even stop looking at this page even after smugly proclaiming that you're not going to for the next few days?