- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
Understanding nuance takes a bit more intellect than "Daddy Cum Guzzler" has. It doesn't surprise me that he doesn't get it.
Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.
- Thread starter Mr Moonface
- Start date
Understanding nuance takes a bit more intellect than "Daddy Cum Guzzler" has. It doesn't surprise me that he doesn't get it.
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2023
So that 1336 superhacking diva Jackie used her back-channel contacts and discovered that "ona" doesn't stand for Opie and Anthony, but the Order of Nine Angels.
One of her orbiters steps out of line for a second, and doubts the plausibility. Oh, fuck.
The intense competition for Jackie's attention causes an intense bitter jealousy and hatred amongst her orbiters..
Another one of her braindead simps sees a power vacuum opening, and leaps in with his best attack:
Hollyyy shit! This insane putdown by a lower-tier orbiter sends shockwaves through the tight circle with strict hierarchy!
They are confused! Bewildered!
Eric knows exactly the proper thing to do.
Being the more important orbiter, he should take his cut, and still hold out his hand to forgive the horrible slighter.
He offers to let LoFi back into the club:
"Do you know what you are doing, child? You are so far beneath me. But I will give you another shot at smelling Jax's curry holes."
This LoFi guy messed up, but he's going to apologize and resume his former spot in Jupiter Jackie's orbit. Right?
I hate to give a let-down, but the Getdown isn't cooperating:
Holy shit! Terminator2atomicbomb.webm !
This guy is out of control!
The whole foundations of the orbit are destabilized!
It's time to escalate this situation all the way to the top:
In so many words she is ORDERING HiFi to stand the fuck down.
He is reminded his place in life, and that Jackie controls what he can and cannot say and to whom on the internet. She is the ultimate authority, and is denying LoFi's power-play on Hilde.
HiFi LoFi falls back in line and doesn't comment further...
But wait? Who is this on the horizon, waddling in? Huffing and puffing, sweating profusely, obviously strained by insanely high blood pressure.... It's the unsung hero of Microsoft! The man of the hour! The butterknife breaker himself: Shame Nokes!
Of course he snitches on this other orbiter: their competition for Jackie's attention is cut-throat.
Shame may be a day late to the thread, but that's because he's been monitoring it like a hawk from his bunker in Black Rock Mountain.
What's going to happen next?
Will he steal HiFi LoFi's spot and elevate himself in Jackie's fetid orbit?
Or will rotten salmon explode in his face?
I, for one, am excited to see how this one turns out.
One of her orbiters steps out of line for a second, and doubts the plausibility. Oh, fuck.
The intense competition for Jackie's attention causes an intense bitter jealousy and hatred amongst her orbiters..
Another one of her braindead simps sees a power vacuum opening, and leaps in with his best attack:
Hollyyy shit! This insane putdown by a lower-tier orbiter sends shockwaves through the tight circle with strict hierarchy!
They are confused! Bewildered!
Eric knows exactly the proper thing to do.
Being the more important orbiter, he should take his cut, and still hold out his hand to forgive the horrible slighter.
He offers to let LoFi back into the club:
"Do you know what you are doing, child? You are so far beneath me. But I will give you another shot at smelling Jax's curry holes."
This LoFi guy messed up, but he's going to apologize and resume his former spot in Jupiter Jackie's orbit. Right?
I hate to give a let-down, but the Getdown isn't cooperating:
Holy shit! Terminator2atomicbomb.webm !
This guy is out of control!
The whole foundations of the orbit are destabilized!
It's time to escalate this situation all the way to the top:
In so many words she is ORDERING HiFi to stand the fuck down.
He is reminded his place in life, and that Jackie controls what he can and cannot say and to whom on the internet. She is the ultimate authority, and is denying LoFi's power-play on Hilde.
HiFi LoFi falls back in line and doesn't comment further...
But wait? Who is this on the horizon, waddling in? Huffing and puffing, sweating profusely, obviously strained by insanely high blood pressure.... It's the unsung hero of Microsoft! The man of the hour! The butterknife breaker himself: Shame Nokes!
Of course he snitches on this other orbiter: their competition for Jackie's attention is cut-throat.
Shame may be a day late to the thread, but that's because he's been monitoring it like a hawk from his bunker in Black Rock Mountain.
What's going to happen next?
Will he steal HiFi LoFi's spot and elevate himself in Jackie's fetid orbit?
Or will rotten salmon explode in his face?
I, for one, am excited to see how this one turns out.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
Now this is the kind of tard fights I come here for. That’s right Shane, for the first time I agree with you - HiFi is a coward who refused to apologize to pedophile defender Eric Hildeman. Is HiFi even on “their side”? Looking forward to find out
Also I love how Shane is such a toxic-ass person he calls some guy who obsessively simps for his cause a “fucking coward” at the drop of a hat. LMFAO. Shane’s defending a guy who basically said Jackie was retarded.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
I wasn't so optimistic as to expect an actual answer to my question about how a full time journalist on the Microsoft beat concluded Shane didn't work for Microsoft.
However, I thought I might at least get a reply about why he's not answering it. Unfortunately, it's been over 40 minutes since my post and there's nothing from Shane, and he's been responding to posts within minutes of them showing up, so he must be burying it and pretending he hasn't saw it.
Even though we know he saw it, he knows that we know he saw it, we know that he knows that we know he saw it, and so on.
Sad!
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
“We know Shane saw it, Shane knows Shane saw it, Shane knows we know Shane saw it, we know Shane knows we know Shane saw it, but Shane is still fat” - Aleksandr Sneeditsyn
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
Shane gets really mad when people here offer him advice. Every time someone does, or discusses his psychology, he spazzes out, throwing out wild allegations and saying over and over how he's not bothered with a liberal sprinkling of boomer emojis to illustrate how we have totally not got under his skin at all, GOT THAT?!
But there is another interesting question here. Not just why does Shane respond to advice the way he does, but more importantly and unusually:
Why are Kiwis so keen to give him advice?
It's actually quite unusual. Sure, it isn't very common for cows to interact directly with the forum the way he does (even retards like Russell Greer don't do that, even though they clearly read their own threads), but I'm not the only Kiwi who has felt compelled to give him advice in a thread ostensibly dedicated to making fun of him.
I think, on reflection, that this is because Shane's psychology and situation is so transparent. Shane is incredibly bad at realising how obviously his insecurity projects like the fucking batsignal out of everything he says and does. With someone as fucked-up in the head as say, Cyrax or Lucas Werner, understanding why they act the way they do is like trying to understand advanced quantum gravity - it's almost impossible for even those familiar with the field to guess at what the fuck is even going on in there. Sure, you can work out that Cyrax is delusional or that Lucas is a narcissist, but they are the kind of crazy that makes them unpredictable - as soon as you think you've got a handle on them they go and do something so out of left field that all you can do is scratch your head and marvel at just how bugfuck insane they are, because you did not see that coming.
But Shane isn't like that. Shane's inner workings are very, very easy to figure out. He's a guy who thought he was King Shit of Turd Mountain in 2003, and when his life started to unravel his mind just dug in, resulting in a rut of repetitive behaviour that has been carrying on without any change or advancement for twenty years. So bad is his mental rut that he's still making dated references to Darwin Awards and the Matrix, things that were the height of smug Goon/Nerd culture in 2003 but have long since been replaced with newer, shinier things. Obviously, being stuck in a mental time loop for two entire decades causes you to Flanderize - to exaggerate your most stereotypical behaviours and characteristics until you become a self-parody. So after 20 years of iterating towards a point, he has become the extraordinary stereotype that he is.
With it being so easy to grasp what's upside his head, Kiwis (or indeed anyone who reads just a handful of his tweets) can get a mental grip on where he's gone wrong and how he has painted his life into this miserable corner where he just abuses and bullies strangers on Twitter because he doesn't really know how to do anything else. You can't say that for many other lolcows. Even Pat Tomlinson himself is something of an enigma because his behaviour is so bizarre, if predictable. But Shane is almost one-of-a-kind in how breathtakingly transparent he is.
Not only is it very obvious where Shane's brain is stuck, it's also somewhere where most Kiwis have been. Many of us were smug nerds in 2003, giggling at XKCD, quoting entire scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, convincing ourselves that reading SlashDot made us 1337 l-l4XX0rZ, buying leather dusters because Neo looked so cool you guys. So it's much easier to put ourselves in that mental space than it is for other lolcows. I can't imagine what it's like to be Cyrax, the workings of his mind are so esoteric and opaque that "what is it like to be Cyrax?" is almost a Buddhist Koan, something designed to deliberately make your brain throw a cog. But almost all of us can know exactly what it's like to be Shane Noakes. His psychology and his life are so remarkably uncomplicated and unsophisticated. This is a man who uses "whatisthematrix" as a password 23 years after the film came out. He's not hard to figure out.
And that makes him ... pitiful. Much as he's a belligerent, smug asshole with almost no redeeming features, we all know exactly how he got that way, and we give him advice because watching him is actually embarrassing. It's like watching your own ghost, you with the worst possible outcome that your life could conceivably have ended up at, given some bad luck and making awful, awful decisions consistently for 20 years. Giving Shane advice is like yelling at the screen as the girl in the horror film goes downstairs in her underwear to investigate a noise in the basement. You know she can't hear you, she's going to get eaten by The Creature, but something in your shared humanity urges you to try to stop her doing something so obviously stupid.
---
Shane, buddy.
I know you've read some of the threads here. Do you see anyone in them giving advice, be it in the second or the third person, to any of these people? No you don't. It's not normally something any of us do, let alone multiple people in the same thread, some several times each even though you scoff at and abuse them every time they do it. Think to yourself, "Why are the Worst People on The Internet (tm) trying to give me advice? Why are they giving me the same advice that all those other people gave me before I pushed them out of my life for daring to question my choices? Is there a common denominator there?"
I'm not expecting you to admit to doing that. But I do, as a fellow human, want to plant that seed of doubt in your mind. Repellent as you are, you could reverse course. You'll of course respond the way you always do whenever someone gets under your skin - by insulting me, maybe calling me a paedophile again, not addressing anything I've said and resorting to the same tired ad-hominem reasoning that you've done since the Bush administration. It's OK, I dish it out but I can take it too, and it's going to take more than some sped with a 3-buttcheeked avatar making posts on an Antipodean fruit-farming forum to haul your brain out of a 20-year rut.
But it's something to think about.
But there is another interesting question here. Not just why does Shane respond to advice the way he does, but more importantly and unusually:
Why are Kiwis so keen to give him advice?
It's actually quite unusual. Sure, it isn't very common for cows to interact directly with the forum the way he does (even retards like Russell Greer don't do that, even though they clearly read their own threads), but I'm not the only Kiwi who has felt compelled to give him advice in a thread ostensibly dedicated to making fun of him.
I think, on reflection, that this is because Shane's psychology and situation is so transparent. Shane is incredibly bad at realising how obviously his insecurity projects like the fucking batsignal out of everything he says and does. With someone as fucked-up in the head as say, Cyrax or Lucas Werner, understanding why they act the way they do is like trying to understand advanced quantum gravity - it's almost impossible for even those familiar with the field to guess at what the fuck is even going on in there. Sure, you can work out that Cyrax is delusional or that Lucas is a narcissist, but they are the kind of crazy that makes them unpredictable - as soon as you think you've got a handle on them they go and do something so out of left field that all you can do is scratch your head and marvel at just how bugfuck insane they are, because you did not see that coming.
But Shane isn't like that. Shane's inner workings are very, very easy to figure out. He's a guy who thought he was King Shit of Turd Mountain in 2003, and when his life started to unravel his mind just dug in, resulting in a rut of repetitive behaviour that has been carrying on without any change or advancement for twenty years. So bad is his mental rut that he's still making dated references to Darwin Awards and the Matrix, things that were the height of smug Goon/Nerd culture in 2003 but have long since been replaced with newer, shinier things. Obviously, being stuck in a mental time loop for two entire decades causes you to Flanderize - to exaggerate your most stereotypical behaviours and characteristics until you become a self-parody. So after 20 years of iterating towards a point, he has become the extraordinary stereotype that he is.
With it being so easy to grasp what's upside his head, Kiwis (or indeed anyone who reads just a handful of his tweets) can get a mental grip on where he's gone wrong and how he has painted his life into this miserable corner where he just abuses and bullies strangers on Twitter because he doesn't really know how to do anything else. You can't say that for many other lolcows. Even Pat Tomlinson himself is something of an enigma because his behaviour is so bizarre, if predictable. But Shane is almost one-of-a-kind in how breathtakingly transparent he is.
Not only is it very obvious where Shane's brain is stuck, it's also somewhere where most Kiwis have been. Many of us were smug nerds in 2003, giggling at XKCD, quoting entire scenes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, convincing ourselves that reading SlashDot made us 1337 l-l4XX0rZ, buying leather dusters because Neo looked so cool you guys. So it's much easier to put ourselves in that mental space than it is for other lolcows. I can't imagine what it's like to be Cyrax, the workings of his mind are so esoteric and opaque that "what is it like to be Cyrax?" is almost a Buddhist Koan, something designed to deliberately make your brain throw a cog. But almost all of us can know exactly what it's like to be Shane Noakes. His psychology and his life are so remarkably uncomplicated and unsophisticated. This is a man who uses "whatisthematrix" as a password 23 years after the film came out. He's not hard to figure out.
And that makes him ... pitiful. Much as he's a belligerent, smug asshole with almost no redeeming features, we all know exactly how he got that way, and we give him advice because watching him is actually embarrassing. It's like watching your own ghost, you with the worst possible outcome that your life could conceivably have ended up at, given some bad luck and making awful, awful decisions consistently for 20 years. Giving Shane advice is like yelling at the screen as the girl in the horror film goes downstairs in her underwear to investigate a noise in the basement. You know she can't hear you, she's going to get eaten by The Creature, but something in your shared humanity urges you to try to stop her doing something so obviously stupid.
---
Shane, buddy.
I know you've read some of the threads here. Do you see anyone in them giving advice, be it in the second or the third person, to any of these people? No you don't. It's not normally something any of us do, let alone multiple people in the same thread, some several times each even though you scoff at and abuse them every time they do it. Think to yourself, "Why are the Worst People on The Internet (tm) trying to give me advice? Why are they giving me the same advice that all those other people gave me before I pushed them out of my life for daring to question my choices? Is there a common denominator there?"
I'm not expecting you to admit to doing that. But I do, as a fellow human, want to plant that seed of doubt in your mind. Repellent as you are, you could reverse course. You'll of course respond the way you always do whenever someone gets under your skin - by insulting me, maybe calling me a paedophile again, not addressing anything I've said and resorting to the same tired ad-hominem reasoning that you've done since the Bush administration. It's OK, I dish it out but I can take it too, and it's going to take more than some sped with a 3-buttcheeked avatar making posts on an Antipodean fruit-farming forum to haul your brain out of a 20-year rut.
But it's something to think about.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
Shane, the king of dark humor and dead baby jokes, think people who make HIV jokes should be put to death.
You made a dark joke about a gay person? You’re now a genocide supporter, and should be subjected to a genocide. 10/10 Nokes Logic and Joke Policing.
You made a dark joke about a gay person? You’re now a genocide supporter, and should be subjected to a genocide. 10/10 Nokes Logic and Joke Policing.
- Joined
- Feb 28, 2023
@Spunt my guy, it's like fucking clockwork.
Sorry dude, good post but I don't think you're planting any "seeds of doubt." Individuals need at least a modicum of intelligence to be self-aware.
Sorry dude, good post but I don't think you're planting any "seeds of doubt." Individuals need at least a modicum of intelligence to be self-aware.
- Joined
- Feb 20, 2022
'Punking' lmao jesus this guy really is stuck in the early 2000s.
- Joined
- Dec 12, 2022
He also doesn't realize that he was being mocked for his dated references, so he decided to make a reference to another movie from the 1990s.
Unreal, folks!
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2019
Someone remind me again why some posts can't be quoted, please.
Two things. Shane calling anyone a coward is rich. He doesn't dare delve too introspectively, let alone engage with us here. Either would expose him to truths that he clearly is never willing to face. He'll go to his death (and probably without lower limbs) the way he is now.
Second, are we sure he's a real person and not a walking personification of Reddit?
Two things. Shane calling anyone a coward is rich. He doesn't dare delve too introspectively, let alone engage with us here. Either would expose him to truths that he clearly is never willing to face. He'll go to his death (and probably without lower limbs) the way he is now.
Second, are we sure he's a real person and not a walking personification of Reddit?
Thank you
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Black Cat2
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 22, 2020
If a post is too large you can't quote/reply to the entire thing. Highlight the part that you're interested in and you'll get a prompt to quote it.
Null introduced it because people were shitting up threads by quoting the entire OP.
And I don't think Shane is the personification of Reddit. He's so unlikeable that even Reddit doesn't like him. He has multiple banned accounts.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
I mean there’s really no excuse to not make a KF account at this point. He’s been bickering with the thread for weeks now, and was literally having a back and forth conversation with me the other day. It was funny but also retarded and autistic.
If I had people alogging me and I actually wanted to talk directly to them more than one time, I’d just make an account. Who cares? The only reason not to is because you’re afraid for some stupid reason. It’s not like anyone reads his Tweets anyways, and he could also talk shit about us after the fact.
Shame is too cowardly to be like Jackie Singh, who at least had the nuts to make an account on ONA and talk shit to the brothermen. Jackie has more balls then Shame and she’s allegedly a woman. Sad.
He’s probably afraid of all the evidence here, and people throwing archives and photos in his face.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2017
I've seen people miss the point before. But I swear I have never seen someone swerve so hard out of the way of the point they risk getting whiplash. It may be the most acrobatic thing Shane has ever done.
Also, according to someone upthread who checked databases of compromised passwords, Shane used "whatisthematrix" for a large number of accounts. Mr "Cyber-Security Expert" also frequently used his own email address.
I'm inside your head Shane. Wooooooooooo!
- Joined
- Dec 13, 2022
Did you do anything today Shane? Do any situps? Make a memory with your wife? Start a project?
Or did you just lay around like a fat loaf? Buddy you've been arguing with teenagers on Xbox live for decades now. It's time to grow up. Call your parents. Learn a new skill. Get a new hobby. Do something for fuck's sake. You're what, 40? Act like an adult. Stop tweeting to nobody.
Or did you just lay around like a fat loaf? Buddy you've been arguing with teenagers on Xbox live for decades now. It's time to grow up. Call your parents. Learn a new skill. Get a new hobby. Do something for fuck's sake. You're what, 40? Act like an adult. Stop tweeting to nobody.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2022
Well he had a long night, mostly tattling and false-flagging on behalf of his racist queen Jackie. BTW Shame, did you know she’s actually racist and hates Muslims and may be part of organized muslim pornography Production? Not a joke and there’s actually evidence, unlike anything she or Fatrick has claimed about KF and/or ONA!
@Caverlock wrote a great thread on ONA Here. That’s on top of being part of the “Gay Niggers Association” for a decade, of course.
Anyways, he was up till 4am snitching, so he got up at 11am like usual, took a massive shit, then oinked at people on Twitter all day while never going outside and guzzling Mountain Dew. And don’t forget ignoring us.
- Joined
- May 20, 2020
Thanks Worm.
Shane, just to reiterate, I was not making a threat about people from this site directly messing with you and your income (wherever the source).
People on this site follow the rules here. Primarily 'look, don't touch'. Yes, people have been taking the piss out of you here, but that's as far as it goes (here, at least).
Start a war with this site? Bad idea. Bigger, richer and better resourced lobby groups have. The only thing they have in common is that they all failed. Spectacularly.
No body here wants to mess with you irl, beyond screencapping your silly tweets and having a laugh.
However... you start toying with YT strikes and DDoSing etc? That can draw the attention of others.
Other people, (probably from that satanic O&A site, thanks Jackie, internet detectivez skillz) who don't have the same Kiwi rule, will start messing with you in ways that will become more annoying than some screenshots of your tweets.
Anyway I hope you have processed this. Although I don't see you troubling MENSA anytime soon.
Shane, just to reiterate, I was not making a threat about people from this site directly messing with you and your income (wherever the source).
People on this site follow the rules here. Primarily 'look, don't touch'. Yes, people have been taking the piss out of you here, but that's as far as it goes (here, at least).
Start a war with this site? Bad idea. Bigger, richer and better resourced lobby groups have. The only thing they have in common is that they all failed. Spectacularly.
No body here wants to mess with you irl, beyond screencapping your silly tweets and having a laugh.
However... you start toying with YT strikes and DDoSing etc? That can draw the attention of others.
Other people, (probably from that satanic O&A site, thanks Jackie, internet detectivez skillz) who don't have the same Kiwi rule, will start messing with you in ways that will become more annoying than some screenshots of your tweets.
Anyway I hope you have processed this. Although I don't see you troubling MENSA anytime soon.
Elderly Homosexual Negro
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 2, 2023
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
Yeah but losing weight is hard and requires effort.
And if this faggot's heart rate jumps to 140 after just going up and down a couple stairs then he hasn't been active in a long time. That's not normal. Even if he has neuromuscular whatever it shouldn't matter to that point or go up that much after just a few steps.
Honestly if I were him I'd be afraid of my heart exploding after straining on the toilet a little too much. I mean that's how Elvis died.
Gotta win those leftist points on his BINGO card.
Reddit is such a cesspit to begin with and he got banninated from there? How autistic do you have to be to get banned from Reddit of all places?
Next you'll be telling me he was too toxic even for Tumblr.
That's fucking retarded.
You NEVER use the same username / password combination on more than one website. And if you do because you're a spaz use something very cryptic and I'm talking something that would take a brute force method 1000 years of real time computation to figure out. But something you can figure out easily.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Boy Shane just can't get a break. He's just persecuted for no reason wherever he goes?
I mean it couldn't just be that he's a completely insufferable cocksucker, right? No, it is everyone else who is wrong. Shane is the one right person in the world.