Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Even normal people don't like being present when an agent is showing their home. I can't imagine it would help make a sale. The potential buyers don't need to be distracted by an unusual social situation--do I make small talk with this person or ignore them, do I ask why they're selling or is that weird, is this eyeball guy lucid or a 'tard--and gut feelings like that can be the tipping point that ruins a sale.

Think of all the advice that you clean up and remove overly-personal items like photos so buyers can mentally place themselves and their family in the home. That's the opposite of a surly hemiplegic goblin glaring at buyers like they're a lookie-loo at his very important yard sale.

There's nowhere else for Jack to go, though. He's not self-mobile so he can't go hang out at a Starbucks for an hour. It's unlikely that they have figured out they need respite care options set up, and Tammy hasn't come to the point yet where she's had to explain to Junior that sometimes he's going to have to be the one to help Jack on and off the toilet.

This 100%. With all of the crap in the house and Jack laying in bed drooling and shitting himself, I'd also be out of there in 2 minutes if I was a potential buyer.

 

[densedance]

I know it's utopic, but I can imagine how Jack is trying to make something for the visitors or trying to bring over a good impression. So therefore he starts to Smoke shit in one of his armada of Smokers. Only that he somehow forgets to close the Windows or even the Doors so all the shit blows inside.

 

[AnOminous]

Just Jack being present in the house while it was being shown would reduce its value tremendously.

"I read your disclosures. You had a termite inspection, impressive. But I don't remember a Jack Scalfani!"

Jack's mere presence depreciates the value of the property. He is too stupid (and too fat) to understand this.

 

[ZipDisk]

I could see a buyer seeing all the shit in the house and realizing that the two lard ballasts won't vacate in time, and not wanting to deal with that.

I'd also love it if Tammy dropped jack off at a park, he's fucking around in the sandbox, and the TURKEY BROTHERS recognize that Jack is in their fucking territory.

 

[Tiresome]

Not to put down Christians in general, but someone walking in and immediately seeing the beyond-kitsch ludicrous Jesus tat on virtually every wall should be sending off alarm bells that these people aren't going to be easy sellers. Tammy and Jack's house clearly throws off the vibes of those living hemorrhoids who leave preaching tracts disguised as currency as "tips" for servers.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Not to put down Christians in general, but someone walking in and immediately seeing the beyond-kitsch ludicrous Jesus tat on virtually every wall should be sending off alarm bells that these people aren't going to be easy sellers. Tammy and Jack's house clearly throws off the vibes of those living hemorrhoids who leave preaching tracts disguised as currency as "tips" for servers.

The place itself isn't necessarily bad. It's just... not worth what they're asking for it. That and the kitchy prayer on the wall that you see when you walk in the room because for "Christians" like Jagoff Scalfatty it's necessary that everybody know they're Christian at all times. It's why he wears the cross necklace hanging out. He needs people to know this the minute you see him.

 

[FatJacksFatAssTongue]

the TURKEY BROTHERS recognize that Jack is in their fucking territory.

I would legit bid $500 to see a pair of wild turkeys or a gaggle of geese relentlessly attack Jagoff when he was alone at the park

 

[OttoWest]

Not to put down Christians in general, but someone walking in and immediately seeing the beyond-kitsch ludicrous Jesus tat on virtually every wall should be sending off alarm bells that these people aren't going to be easy sellers. Tammy and Jack's house clearly throws off the vibes of those living hemorrhoids who leave preaching tracts disguised as currency as "tips" for servers.

That’s par for the course in Hendersonville. Christian wall kitsch is everywhere in that area.

 

[LaughJoke2.0]

I legit wish I lived near Jack just so I could go to his open house as a "potential" buyer. Just walk through with a black male friend who I definitely would be pretending is my lover and commenting on the tacky decor. End my tour with a so where's the bathroom just to say, "Well I got to take a shit; I can't buy a house unless I know I'll be comfortable shitting in it.".

 

[Pig Cups]

RE: Jack bitching about the showing…

It’s clear that it doesn’t occur to him that (very frequently) people might immediately realize that the dwelling doesn’t meet their expectations once they see it in person, and they might not want to waste more time. Ads can be deceiving that way- it’s a general rule of thumb that people might love what they see in an ad, but find the real thing to have all sorts of negatives that couldn’t be gleaned from the ad itself. A parallel that even Jack could understand is the example of the food item you see in an ad being vastly different from what you get when you actually order it. Listen here, Fatty, people showing up to see your house in no way indicates any sort of commitment, and they owe you nothing (outside of showing basic respect to your space in which they’re guests). He seems to think that, as a condition to people coming in for showings, that they have some sort of obligation to buy the house (or at least make an offer).

If he’s this level of braindead as to the process, it tells me that he contributed nothing during the move-to-TN saga. After all, they simply lived in the stepdad’s property during the Buena Park era. So moving to Hendersonville was the first time those two honestly looked for a house of their own. Tammy absolutely did all the work, as Jack’s demonstrated illiteracy on buying/selling real estate leaves no other conclusion than him dumping all the work on his wife and expecting instant satisfaction.

Buying a house is a significant undertaking, and there are many things (besides lots of money) at stake that require consideration. It is nowhere near as simple as buying a Smokin’ Triple Stack Sub from Firehouse, and yet Jack thinks it is. What a howling, diaper-shitting infant.

I would legit bid $500 to see a pair of wild turkeys or a gaggle of geese relentlessly attack Jagoff when he was alone at the park

The cherry on top would be them leaving him in the same shape as that farmer in The Birds (1963).

 

[Preciate it youtube]

This reply says so much. Resigned to death at 55, going through with a big move despite losing two more limbs in the intervening months. I wish we could get a little more honesty from this blowhard.

 

[Cherry Dude]

A parallel that even Jack could understand is the example of the food item you see in an ad being vastly different from what you get when you actually order it.

Are you sure he could understand this? I'm 99% positive there's a Panera video out there proving the exact opposite. Jack doesn't understand this shit at all.

 

[Whaler]

If he’s this level of braindead as to the process, it tells me that he contributed nothing during the move-to-TN saga. After all, they simply lived in the stepdad’s property during the Buena Park era. So moving to Hendersonville was the first time those two honestly looked for a house of their own. Tammy absolutely did all the work, as Jack’s demonstrated illiteracy on buying/selling real estate leaves no other conclusion than him dumping all the work on his wife and expecting instant satisfaction.

If he can't understand how basic bills work, then I highly doubt he understands the ins-and-outs of house buying/selling. His understanding of how it works probably comes from movies and TV shows where people just walk in and buy the first house they see without any questions or looking around just because the area is nice.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

View attachment 5076375
This reply says so much. Resigned to death at 55, going through with a big move despite losing two more limbs in the intervening months. I wish we could get a little more honesty from this blowhard.

Almost sounds like Jack is threatening to die in the house to keep it from being sold.

 

[I am Jack's dead arm]

Are you sure he could understand this? I'm 99% positive there's a Panera video out there proving the exact opposite. Jack doesn't understand this shit at all.

Yeah IIRC it was for their flatbread sandwiches and he was angy because there wasn't a pound of meat on it.

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

Yeah IIRC it was for their flatbread sandwiches and he was angy because there wasn't a pound of meat on it.

You are correct and all the fatties starring in it are all punchable. Jack says sanwich funny in addition to his normal bullshit. The other fat bitch says green godness over and over. It goddess you stupid twat. Tammy is just a cunt. They all need to die.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Almost sounds like Jack is threatening to die in the house to keep it from being sold.

That can actually be a good thing for the buyer. A lot of people don't want to buy / live in a home that had somebody die in it. They're superstitious types that think it's going to be haunted because of that. So the price tends to drop.

A good thing to know that in Japan apartments that have had somebody commit suicide in them tend to go unrented so you can get them for much cheaper than the rest.

 

[That Damned Tiger]

Almost sounds like Jack is threatening to die in the house to keep it from being sold.

Jack dying in that house wouldn't keep it from getting sold so much as it would make it more difficult to sell because that's something that might need to be declared during the selling process. If anything, it might make any potential buyer want to knock a bit of money off the selling price.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

View attachment 5076375
This reply says so much. Resigned to death at 55, going through with a big move despite losing two more limbs in the intervening months. I wish we could get a little more honesty from this blowhard.

We don't have to sell?
Then why the fuck is it up for sale?
I legitimately don't understand this comment.

 

[Aunt Carol]

We don't have to sell?
Then why the fuck is it up for sale?
I legitimately don't understand this comment.

Unsurprisingly, Jack doesn't understand that he's never going upstairs again and needs a single-level home that can be adapted to his mobility needs.

Slightly surprisingly, Jack has forgotten that he planned out loud to buy a cult compound in the middle of nowhere and move there with his homemade dehydrated eggs, to wait out the end of civilization.