Richard at least tried to motivate people to self improve and not be fat fucks, plus he still has some energy and humanity behind his eyes. Can't say the same for Dylan.
A man sees an ad in a magazine: "At-Home Workout Program! Motivation Guaranteed or double your money back!" and a number to call. So he calls the number, and is told the program is $2000 - but if he's not motivated to get into shape, he can get double his money back. So he gives his credit card, and is told to be ready to start his at-home workout the next morning at 6am. Sure enough, at 6 am his doorbell rings, and there is a woman standing on his doorstep, wearing nothing but running shoes and a sandwich board sign that says "If you can catch me, you can have me" She turns tail and is running down the street, easily out distancing the the man. The next day, the process repeats. The man dedicates himself to the task of getting fit. Every spare moment is spend getting his body into shap. Finally, after a little over a month, he has lost enough weight he is able to catch the naked girl. And true to the sign, he has her. They make long, passionate love in some bushes at the park.
The next day, the man gets a call congratulating him on completing level one of the program. He is then asked if he would like to enroll in the next level of the program. The cost is $5000 but if it doesn't motivate him, he will get triple his money back, with personal training every Friday. The man, feeling in good shape, goes ahead and signs up. The next Friday at 6 am, his doorbell rings. Standing on his door is an absolute vision. The girl could be a model, and just like before, she is wearing nothing but shoes, a smile, and a sandwich board that proclaims "If you can catch me you can have me". The man, despite being in good shape, cannot keep up with this woman is left in the dust.
So he ups his training. He counts ever calories, every gram of fat, every gram of protein. One day he manages to almost catch her, but she holds him off with some Kickboxing. The man then starts training his upper body and doing martial arts. And, in the best shape of his life, after a little more than a month he finally catches her. Defeated, she leads him back to his house where they spend the entire weekend in bed. In peak physical concern, and happily exhuasted, the man gets a call once the woman leaves.
He's congratulated on passing the Advanced level course. There's an Extreme Level course, and he's asked if he'd like to enroll. The Extreme level program is free, and if it doesn't motivate him to get in the best shape of his life, he will get $50,000. The man enthusiastically agrees, and he's told his training starts the next Friday. Friday comes and doorbell sounds, the man rushes to open it.
On his doorstep is
Richard Simmons Dylan Mulvaney, naked except for his shoes and a sign that says "If I can catch you, I can have you".
