- Joined
- Sep 18, 2021
So … would you say that you’re the Lucia or the Georgie?
Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.
- Thread starter PiggyPie
- Start date
- Joined
- Aug 23, 2020
damn i was hoping the ygo card was gonna be Pot Of Greed (gReid)
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Chameleon
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2022
Speaking of Amber being "so creative" and wanting to be exactly what other influences are..
Isn't this an EXACT replica of her bullet journal? Check out the TikTok user's account. AmberLynn has NO original bone in her body.
Isn't this an EXACT replica of her bullet journal? Check out the TikTok user's account. AmberLynn has NO original bone in her body.
Last edited by a moderator:
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2021
I watched a couple of her tiktoks, and I’d like to point out that while she does bujo her steps, hours of sleep, calories, and anxiety, she doesn’t bujo her crying. Could it be that Amber actually thought of something original? You know, it could. It’s certainly stupid enough.
dfranki723
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2019
The fucking inflection she speaks with is so bloody irritating.
Nobody wants to take snack recommendations from a 600lb beast of a ''woman''. Seriously though, I hope she keeps shopping at Hobby Lobby and eating Chik-Fil-A, a significant portion of her Youtube audience is just as insufferable as she is, I like seeing them have a collective fit over this pathetic shit.
That Chanel etc. sign is tacky as shit...
I don't believe she finished that Titanic. I imagine she kept doing the ''baaaabuhhh, can you help wittle ol' me?????''.
People say the angle is bad because you're fat? No the angle is bad BUT you look shit at every angle, so it really doesn't matter. Admit you're too lazy to even try and increase the quality of your wanky vlogs.
Nobody wants to take snack recommendations from a 600lb beast of a ''woman''. Seriously though, I hope she keeps shopping at Hobby Lobby and eating Chik-Fil-A, a significant portion of her Youtube audience is just as insufferable as she is, I like seeing them have a collective fit over this pathetic shit.
That Chanel etc. sign is tacky as shit...
I don't believe she finished that Titanic. I imagine she kept doing the ''baaaabuhhh, can you help wittle ol' me?????''.
People say the angle is bad because you're fat? No the angle is bad BUT you look shit at every angle, so it really doesn't matter. Admit you're too lazy to even try and increase the quality of your wanky vlogs.
Chameleon
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2022
Amber added that for the pity.
ETA: Also because Amber cries hourly, she added it to the journal because it makes more sense and she can actually use the page since the rest is just filler.
Cornfed
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2023
I know what the bullet journal reminds me of.
There was a British sci fi comedy called Red Dwarf, and in the book adaptation of the show the character of Rimmer neuroticly makes study timetables of massive complexity to subconsciously avoid doing any actual studying.
These bullet journals are exactly those timetables, and the mentality is exactly the same.
Since this is the Hamber thread, and book time is topical I highly recommend Red Dwarf to everyone here (the book at least. The show is only good for the first 3 or 4 seasons).
There was a British sci fi comedy called Red Dwarf, and in the book adaptation of the show the character of Rimmer neuroticly makes study timetables of massive complexity to subconsciously avoid doing any actual studying.
These bullet journals are exactly those timetables, and the mentality is exactly the same.
Since this is the Hamber thread, and book time is topical I highly recommend Red Dwarf to everyone here (the book at least. The show is only good for the first 3 or 4 seasons).
- Joined
- Dec 21, 2020
I just want to randomly point out that if she keeps wearing that airpod on her ear 24/7, she will get a nasty infection, one that's 100% avoidable.
Bitch, you are not quirky, you are just embarrassing. Stop even trying.
Bitch, you are not quirky, you are just embarrassing. Stop even trying.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree....
Hamber graces us with another video. She's so NICE to the peasants!
TL;DW/R: Hamber runs errands, sitting in the car while MG,W does the actual physical work. She did go into Hobby Lobby so she could fondle everything. They get beetus bubble teas on the way home. Hamber sits and listens to Q&As, then opens PO items. One real troll item, one perhaps troll, and the other a heartfelt letter from someone who erroneously thought Hamber is a good listener or someone who cares deeply about other people.
A stately pleasure dome decree....
Hamber graces us with another video. She's so NICE to the peasants!
I think "run" is just as much a dream as the narrator in Kubla Khan happening across the pleasure dome. now, Coleridge may have been meditating on the nature of creativity and the turmoil of the artist, attempting to both find and tame their art, but Hamber's pleasure dome is, and always will be, a Chinese buh-fette, or TCF, or just her pantry filled to overflowing with snacks. Wherever there is food, you will be sure to find Hamber in close proximity. Let us proceed.
We're back to calling it a "vloggity-vlog" because we're so corky. Hamber starts by talking about her winged eyeliner, and already I don't care. She's convinced that this eyeliner makes her eyes appear to be a different shape. No, it doesn't. your eyes look just as stupid and vacuous as ever, and I don't think any mascara can correct that. Hamber passes out some makeup advice: "If you have hooded eyes, like I do...."
Sigh. It never ends. You do not have hooded eyes, Hamber. I wonder what TikTok or YT account she picked up the phrase from.
MG,W allegedly wrote "Baby I Love You (heart)" so Hamber must respond, and writes her own "i love you (heart) xoxo" and they both look like they were written by the same hand. I may be reading more into this, but it's exactly the sort of thing she would do to continue the fiction that these two are a romantic couple.
Twinkie sighting, wearing a sweater or something, with another something written on it. Since she's doing that horrid, retarded voice she uses when she yammers at the animals, I couldn't make out what the first word was. Something hater, sounded like, but I don't care enough to go back and slow it down to determine what Hamber and her mushmouth are saying. At least Twinkie looks like she's doing well. At least she isn't like her quasi-owner/screecher, piling on the pounds again. MG,W's floating hand sails in, to pet Twinkie, and Hamber keeps yammering and petting her. Twinkie eventually lies down and puts her belly up for rubs, and while Hamber pets her, Twinkie is looking at MG,W. It's clear who spends the most time with the dog. Props still to MG,W for helping Twinkie shed those pounds.
As we knew would happen, Hamber has broken into the snacks, holding up an empty bag from the box of small bags of knockoff Combos. Hamber advises everyone who is "looking for a snack" to get this brand from Target. Thank you, no.
Card time, so Hamber can put haydur nation in its place in the amberverse.
"As you've noticed, I've been showing leaving the house instead of not vlogging this part of my life."
Those 20 seconds at HomeGoods and what, minute from Roots 101 is absolutely showing the haydurs, MensaLynn. You surely showed all of us!
Next card: "So many people think I'm home bound and it's the farthest from the truth."
I'm really trying to get through a Hamber video without swearing. It's housebound, and no, it isn't really furthest from the truth, GrammarLynn. You showed almost four months worth of videos from inside the stankpartment. It is not unreasonable for people to assume you go nowhere unless it's to an appointment. What would be furthest from the truth would be us believing that you're doing "everything" the WLS told you to do. We have eyes. We know you're not.
Next card: "So I'm trying to vlog what I normally don't, so here's more of that."
SO. You could stop using "so" as often as you do. It's annoying.
Hamber moves like a badly helmed ship at sea, bobbing and slewing across the ocean of the room, telling us they're heading to the USPO, something that happens "several times a week". Anyone who sends her anything is brainless. Says she keeps "forgetting" to add her PO info to the videos the past couple of times. Such a stressful job and all that, you know. PO info flashes up and of course, there's nothing there about not sending food. Checking the description, and once again, nothing there about not sending food, either. We can tell just how strongly she feels about that particular issue, can't we.
The lip smacking is back, I hear. I noticed it in the weigh in video the other day, but hoped it was going to be short-lived as she sat there like a useless lump, proud of herself for stepping on the scale and also having it filmed. Alas, it was not to be.
PO visit is over, and on to the wretched place that is Hobby Lobby. Mustn't let anything interfere with the constant drum of consumerism, after all. They look at a hideous meer. MG,W, pulls it off the shelf, and Hamber takes the opportunity to film herself looking at the meer, blowing kisses to herself. A tacky sign that just has brand names on it - not even in the script each one uses, just black and white, all caps. As I said, tacky. Thus, perfect for Hamber. They come across a plain meer. The put the tacky, ugly one back and take the minimalist, circular meer instead.
Hamber is "lowkey obsessed" - STOP USING BOTH OF THOSE WORDS - with "this creepy guy right here". She is pointing with her balloon hand, sausage finger outstretched, to a bust of Generic Greek Thinker Guy with the top of his head missing. That's fitting.
Hamber leans down to the camera and says if she had a kid, "this is the section I'd be in." She steps back and says "Dinosaurs." She then spreads her TRex arms (how fitting) out to her sides, her mouth turned down in what she likely thinks is a cute pout, but that only serves to accentuate the frown lines she has developed from years and years worth of whining and crying, scolding her audience, gaining weight, and not taking her estrogen. Those lines run deep, and at this point, the only way she will lose them is via plastic surgery. In any case, it's easy enough to see her personal albatross - one of a rookery of them she has, I should say - on display here, buying things she doesn't need for a personality she doesn't have, intended for an apartment that has no theme. Unlike Coleridge's ancient mariner, she will not be shooting any of her albatross, at least any time soon. Or, more likely, ever. They truly are her spirit animal.
One curiosity I'd like to mention at this juncture. Hamber claims to love dinosaurs. Yet she has never talked at length about her love of dinosaurs, or what her favorite dinosaur is. She doesn't appear to read anything about dinosairs, has no books on dinosaurs, has never mentioned videos or movies she's watched about dinosaurs, and does not appear to own any dinosaur figurines or even the kits Lego has. I believe this to b some kind of affectation she picked up during her neverending rounds on social media.
She pick up a tacky sign and holds it up next to MG,W: Dad Jokes Told Here. She overdoes her "Listen to me making a funny" giggle. MG,W says "I accept this." that is, I must say, at least a more confident acceptance of something than any previous girlfriend has had to any of the blather that has come out of Hamber's piehole. She puts the sign back, thankfully. She shows another sign: This kitchen is for dancing. I wait to see if she'll pick that one off the shelf and plop it into the cart, but thankfully, no.
We are now in the car, heading home, one would presume. Hamber is holding a bubble tea. Low sugar coconut tea with tapioca pearls. I wonder how low is low, and if Hamber gave a single thought to how exactly people manage to gain back all the weight they lose after WLS.
I'm just kidding. She never thinks ahead, so I know she hasn't. Hamber then has to prove to us how immature she is by saying "Tapioca ball. Yum." and then opening her mouth to show it on her tongue. We really don't want to see this. Keep your mouth shut when you're eating.
Back at the stankpartment, they're outside with Twinkie. Ae we going to get treated to Saint Twinkie taking a dump? Thankfully, no. Hamber's shadow looks like a barn and silo atop a poop mountain. Or the coal tailings mound at Aberfan waiting to give loose and sweep down on the town, leaving mainly dead children in its wake. Twinkie hunkers down to take a dump, and Hamber turns the camera away. Stupid shot of the usual "Look at all our feet" pics, except we can really only see MG,W's feet because she is not a giant, deformed sphere of fat. Hamber finally manages to contort herself to get half of one foot in the frame. People keep saying, about various things she leaves in her videos, "You could have edited this out!" Three things. One: she has to get over that magic time mark. Two: She had "already filmed it!" and who wants to waste that minimal work she does? Three: LAZY.
We're now back inside, and Hamber has to tell us they bought the minimalist, severely functional, round meer. Like an idiot, I keep waiting for her to just say the word properly: mir-or. It's a very simple word, really. In addition, she bought a tacky, generic cityscape, which looks like a quickly drawn sketch by an architect or artist. Is this also some TikTok/YT thing? Because she's saying they're creating a "gallery wall" and Hamber has no taste in anything. I guess this is marginally better than the horrid single line, zero definition naked women things they have had up. Side note: just because you're a lesbian - did you know Hamber was a lesbian, because she totally is, guise - doesn't mean you're required to have drawings, images, or little statues or perfume bottles that are naked women. She's "obsessed", of course. Once again, driving a word into the ground so it loses all impact. She of course got the tacky, boring brand name thing, which might go into the bathroom or the gallery wall. My god, the life and death decisions she has to make. No wonder she's so stressed all day, every day, and has eaten herself to 600 pounds.
A useless scene. They're watching Murder Mystery on Netflix.
Next: panning the Lego Titanic, stern to bow and back again. Hamber says that it is "being adopted", and claims on IG that she is not selling it, something I find very difficult to believe. People buy these things already assembled, because they like the thing, but not the tedium of putting the thing together, and Hamber needs to recoup some of the funds wasted on it, given how her revenues have plummeted. She once again does that stupid thing of pointing out something - a smear of makeup on the table/bookcase/whatever the Titanic model is sitting on - that we would not have noticed if she'd not recorded it and instead stayed no lower than the base of the hull. Alas, that would have required her to think about/have a plan for what she was doing, something professional YouTubers do all the time.
Next Day
Wow, she lowered the standing desk to her sitting spot. If she leaned forward, the table would hit at her armpits. If she lost that enormous gunt, she could probably sit at it like a normal person. Since that is never going to happen, this is what it is: a hugely fat toddler sitting in a highchair.
She is finally wearing a set of earrings MG,W. She's sticking tiny butterfly clips into the poop bun on top of her head, which she deems as "cute" and she squeeeees about bringing back the 90s. They merely bring more attention to how gigantic her face is. Good job!
And now for our two minutes or so haydur lecture. Hamber haughtily informs us that people complain about the angle of the camera when she films, and says it's only because she's fat, then shoves her head into the camera and her massive head and neck fill the entire frame. Skinny people film at this angle too, haydurs! The fact she has bullfrog neck is absolutely one reason, as far as I'm concerned. But another is that stupid nose ring that always looks like booger to me. Another is that I don't really want to look up peoples' noses. There are small tripods that will fit just fine on the desk to raise it to eye level. However, it sounds like that may entail work, so I'm sure it will never be done, and she will continue to give the peasants her giant bullfrog neck and tacky, stupid nose ring. She keeps repeating "I don't care" about showing her body, which is true unless it comes to her legs. She will pimp out and attention whore her body for YTBux, but refuses to show her legs. I can only imagine how hideous they must look.
More hair butterfly things. It's hard to overestimate how boring this is or how desperately she wants to be that corky, dainty 90s girl. Hamber says she knows her vlogs have been on the short side, but she's "trying not to be long-winded". She wants to stop this vlog and start another one. What she really wants is to change clothes and begin filming again, to make it seem as it isn't a different day, thus confusing the timeline.
But before she does that, she wants to end on the Q&A. I will forever not call this an "interview". She obviously and (again) desperately wants to portray herself as important enough to warrant interviews. Alas for Hamber, she is neither famous enough nor interesting enough for real interviews.
Voice 1: The questioner sounds like they've recorded the question in slow motion. They ask what is one thing you would change about your YT career, that you wish you could change. Hamber says she regrets posting one video, but doesn't want to get into it. It's fine, we all know it's h one where you falsely accused someone of rape.
Voice 2: The questioner asks what shows Hamber is watching. Truly, these are deep philosophical questions of our time, on par with Dante's writing about hell or Elizabeth Barrett Browning's thoughts on the impermanence of the time allotted to us and how we dispose of our share of it. Hamber names a show I have never heard of and don't care enough about to skip back in the video to get the name.
Voice 3: Where do you see yourself in five years. Hamber says "With the way this WLS is going, I hope to be the healthiest I've ever been [me, shaking my head], I hope to travel a little [Sure.], maybe married. People keep saying why don't you get married, and I'm not ready for marriage." Translation on the last item: MG,W is not interested in marrying Hamber.
Voice 4: Someone who didn't keep their grades up was dropped by FAFSA and now has to pay like aby other plebe to go to their local community college. They ask Hamber if it's worth it. Listen to me, people. Do NOT ask Hamber for advice on anything. I guarantee the has no earthly idea what FAFSA is, and no real interest in higher education. You'd be better off going to the pet store and asking one of the bottom feeder fish the same question. At least they know what their role in life is, and they do it consistently. I'm not going to bother with Hamber's reply.
PO Box time.
Item one: apparently some sappy letter from someone named "Ren" or possibly "Wren", who knows. Hamber says Aww, and she's going to read it again. Listen, people: do NOT pour out your heart to Hamber. She may very well steal pieces of your life and will incorporate you into the fairy tales she makes up about her busy, active life.
Item two: Troll. Yu-Gi-Oh card of the Forbidden (dangleen) Leg. Hamber obviously does not understand this one, says "Random!" and thanks the sender.
Item three: A book called "And in This Shape She Gallops". Hamber thinks this is a poetry book. I'm amazed that Hamber, being the reader she is, and given that poetry is her "passion", like Lego or coloring, does not recognize this line fragment. It's a piece of Mercutio's famous monologue, also known as The Queen Mab Speech, from Romeo and Juliet. It's an odd, odd speech, out of place in this play, but would also be odd in any other, including A Midsummer Night's Dream, filled to the brim with oddball creatures. This may or may not be another troll. After all, Hamber is incapable of nuance or study of themes in literature. However, she did yammer on not terribly long ago about how riding horses is somehow animal abuse. Whatever the case, much like Mercutio's monologue, it's an oddball gift.
Hamber ends the vlog there so she can waddle off - or just stay sitting where she is, which is more likely - and film some other brilliant and inspiring content for us to view with wonder and awe.
We're back to calling it a "vloggity-vlog" because we're so corky. Hamber starts by talking about her winged eyeliner, and already I don't care. She's convinced that this eyeliner makes her eyes appear to be a different shape. No, it doesn't. your eyes look just as stupid and vacuous as ever, and I don't think any mascara can correct that. Hamber passes out some makeup advice: "If you have hooded eyes, like I do...."
Sigh. It never ends. You do not have hooded eyes, Hamber. I wonder what TikTok or YT account she picked up the phrase from.
MG,W allegedly wrote "Baby I Love You (heart)" so Hamber must respond, and writes her own "i love you (heart) xoxo" and they both look like they were written by the same hand. I may be reading more into this, but it's exactly the sort of thing she would do to continue the fiction that these two are a romantic couple.
Twinkie sighting, wearing a sweater or something, with another something written on it. Since she's doing that horrid, retarded voice she uses when she yammers at the animals, I couldn't make out what the first word was. Something hater, sounded like, but I don't care enough to go back and slow it down to determine what Hamber and her mushmouth are saying. At least Twinkie looks like she's doing well. At least she isn't like her quasi-owner/screecher, piling on the pounds again. MG,W's floating hand sails in, to pet Twinkie, and Hamber keeps yammering and petting her. Twinkie eventually lies down and puts her belly up for rubs, and while Hamber pets her, Twinkie is looking at MG,W. It's clear who spends the most time with the dog. Props still to MG,W for helping Twinkie shed those pounds.
As we knew would happen, Hamber has broken into the snacks, holding up an empty bag from the box of small bags of knockoff Combos. Hamber advises everyone who is "looking for a snack" to get this brand from Target. Thank you, no.
Card time, so Hamber can put haydur nation in its place in the amberverse.
"As you've noticed, I've been showing leaving the house instead of not vlogging this part of my life."
Those 20 seconds at HomeGoods and what, minute from Roots 101 is absolutely showing the haydurs, MensaLynn. You surely showed all of us!
Next card: "So many people think I'm home bound and it's the farthest from the truth."
I'm really trying to get through a Hamber video without swearing. It's housebound, and no, it isn't really furthest from the truth, GrammarLynn. You showed almost four months worth of videos from inside the stankpartment. It is not unreasonable for people to assume you go nowhere unless it's to an appointment. What would be furthest from the truth would be us believing that you're doing "everything" the WLS told you to do. We have eyes. We know you're not.
Next card: "So I'm trying to vlog what I normally don't, so here's more of that."
SO. You could stop using "so" as often as you do. It's annoying.
Hamber moves like a badly helmed ship at sea, bobbing and slewing across the ocean of the room, telling us they're heading to the USPO, something that happens "several times a week". Anyone who sends her anything is brainless. Says she keeps "forgetting" to add her PO info to the videos the past couple of times. Such a stressful job and all that, you know. PO info flashes up and of course, there's nothing there about not sending food. Checking the description, and once again, nothing there about not sending food, either. We can tell just how strongly she feels about that particular issue, can't we.
The lip smacking is back, I hear. I noticed it in the weigh in video the other day, but hoped it was going to be short-lived as she sat there like a useless lump, proud of herself for stepping on the scale and also having it filmed. Alas, it was not to be.
PO visit is over, and on to the wretched place that is Hobby Lobby. Mustn't let anything interfere with the constant drum of consumerism, after all. They look at a hideous meer. MG,W, pulls it off the shelf, and Hamber takes the opportunity to film herself looking at the meer, blowing kisses to herself. A tacky sign that just has brand names on it - not even in the script each one uses, just black and white, all caps. As I said, tacky. Thus, perfect for Hamber. They come across a plain meer. The put the tacky, ugly one back and take the minimalist, circular meer instead.
Hamber is "lowkey obsessed" - STOP USING BOTH OF THOSE WORDS - with "this creepy guy right here". She is pointing with her balloon hand, sausage finger outstretched, to a bust of Generic Greek Thinker Guy with the top of his head missing. That's fitting.
Hamber leans down to the camera and says if she had a kid, "this is the section I'd be in." She steps back and says "Dinosaurs." She then spreads her TRex arms (how fitting) out to her sides, her mouth turned down in what she likely thinks is a cute pout, but that only serves to accentuate the frown lines she has developed from years and years worth of whining and crying, scolding her audience, gaining weight, and not taking her estrogen. Those lines run deep, and at this point, the only way she will lose them is via plastic surgery. In any case, it's easy enough to see her personal albatross - one of a rookery of them she has, I should say - on display here, buying things she doesn't need for a personality she doesn't have, intended for an apartment that has no theme. Unlike Coleridge's ancient mariner, she will not be shooting any of her albatross, at least any time soon. Or, more likely, ever. They truly are her spirit animal.
One curiosity I'd like to mention at this juncture. Hamber claims to love dinosaurs. Yet she has never talked at length about her love of dinosaurs, or what her favorite dinosaur is. She doesn't appear to read anything about dinosairs, has no books on dinosaurs, has never mentioned videos or movies she's watched about dinosaurs, and does not appear to own any dinosaur figurines or even the kits Lego has. I believe this to b some kind of affectation she picked up during her neverending rounds on social media.
She pick up a tacky sign and holds it up next to MG,W: Dad Jokes Told Here. She overdoes her "Listen to me making a funny" giggle. MG,W says "I accept this." that is, I must say, at least a more confident acceptance of something than any previous girlfriend has had to any of the blather that has come out of Hamber's piehole. She puts the sign back, thankfully. She shows another sign: This kitchen is for dancing. I wait to see if she'll pick that one off the shelf and plop it into the cart, but thankfully, no.
We are now in the car, heading home, one would presume. Hamber is holding a bubble tea. Low sugar coconut tea with tapioca pearls. I wonder how low is low, and if Hamber gave a single thought to how exactly people manage to gain back all the weight they lose after WLS.
I'm just kidding. She never thinks ahead, so I know she hasn't. Hamber then has to prove to us how immature she is by saying "Tapioca ball. Yum." and then opening her mouth to show it on her tongue. We really don't want to see this. Keep your mouth shut when you're eating.
Back at the stankpartment, they're outside with Twinkie. Ae we going to get treated to Saint Twinkie taking a dump? Thankfully, no. Hamber's shadow looks like a barn and silo atop a poop mountain. Or the coal tailings mound at Aberfan waiting to give loose and sweep down on the town, leaving mainly dead children in its wake. Twinkie hunkers down to take a dump, and Hamber turns the camera away. Stupid shot of the usual "Look at all our feet" pics, except we can really only see MG,W's feet because she is not a giant, deformed sphere of fat. Hamber finally manages to contort herself to get half of one foot in the frame. People keep saying, about various things she leaves in her videos, "You could have edited this out!" Three things. One: she has to get over that magic time mark. Two: She had "already filmed it!" and who wants to waste that minimal work she does? Three: LAZY.
We're now back inside, and Hamber has to tell us they bought the minimalist, severely functional, round meer. Like an idiot, I keep waiting for her to just say the word properly: mir-or. It's a very simple word, really. In addition, she bought a tacky, generic cityscape, which looks like a quickly drawn sketch by an architect or artist. Is this also some TikTok/YT thing? Because she's saying they're creating a "gallery wall" and Hamber has no taste in anything. I guess this is marginally better than the horrid single line, zero definition naked women things they have had up. Side note: just because you're a lesbian - did you know Hamber was a lesbian, because she totally is, guise - doesn't mean you're required to have drawings, images, or little statues or perfume bottles that are naked women. She's "obsessed", of course. Once again, driving a word into the ground so it loses all impact. She of course got the tacky, boring brand name thing, which might go into the bathroom or the gallery wall. My god, the life and death decisions she has to make. No wonder she's so stressed all day, every day, and has eaten herself to 600 pounds.
A useless scene. They're watching Murder Mystery on Netflix.
Next: panning the Lego Titanic, stern to bow and back again. Hamber says that it is "being adopted", and claims on IG that she is not selling it, something I find very difficult to believe. People buy these things already assembled, because they like the thing, but not the tedium of putting the thing together, and Hamber needs to recoup some of the funds wasted on it, given how her revenues have plummeted. She once again does that stupid thing of pointing out something - a smear of makeup on the table/bookcase/whatever the Titanic model is sitting on - that we would not have noticed if she'd not recorded it and instead stayed no lower than the base of the hull. Alas, that would have required her to think about/have a plan for what she was doing, something professional YouTubers do all the time.
Next Day
Wow, she lowered the standing desk to her sitting spot. If she leaned forward, the table would hit at her armpits. If she lost that enormous gunt, she could probably sit at it like a normal person. Since that is never going to happen, this is what it is: a hugely fat toddler sitting in a highchair.
She is finally wearing a set of earrings MG,W. She's sticking tiny butterfly clips into the poop bun on top of her head, which she deems as "cute" and she squeeeees about bringing back the 90s. They merely bring more attention to how gigantic her face is. Good job!
And now for our two minutes or so haydur lecture. Hamber haughtily informs us that people complain about the angle of the camera when she films, and says it's only because she's fat, then shoves her head into the camera and her massive head and neck fill the entire frame. Skinny people film at this angle too, haydurs! The fact she has bullfrog neck is absolutely one reason, as far as I'm concerned. But another is that stupid nose ring that always looks like booger to me. Another is that I don't really want to look up peoples' noses. There are small tripods that will fit just fine on the desk to raise it to eye level. However, it sounds like that may entail work, so I'm sure it will never be done, and she will continue to give the peasants her giant bullfrog neck and tacky, stupid nose ring. She keeps repeating "I don't care" about showing her body, which is true unless it comes to her legs. She will pimp out and attention whore her body for YTBux, but refuses to show her legs. I can only imagine how hideous they must look.
More hair butterfly things. It's hard to overestimate how boring this is or how desperately she wants to be that corky, dainty 90s girl. Hamber says she knows her vlogs have been on the short side, but she's "trying not to be long-winded". She wants to stop this vlog and start another one. What she really wants is to change clothes and begin filming again, to make it seem as it isn't a different day, thus confusing the timeline.
But before she does that, she wants to end on the Q&A. I will forever not call this an "interview". She obviously and (again) desperately wants to portray herself as important enough to warrant interviews. Alas for Hamber, she is neither famous enough nor interesting enough for real interviews.
Voice 1: The questioner sounds like they've recorded the question in slow motion. They ask what is one thing you would change about your YT career, that you wish you could change. Hamber says she regrets posting one video, but doesn't want to get into it. It's fine, we all know it's h one where you falsely accused someone of rape.
Voice 2: The questioner asks what shows Hamber is watching. Truly, these are deep philosophical questions of our time, on par with Dante's writing about hell or Elizabeth Barrett Browning's thoughts on the impermanence of the time allotted to us and how we dispose of our share of it. Hamber names a show I have never heard of and don't care enough about to skip back in the video to get the name.
Voice 3: Where do you see yourself in five years. Hamber says "With the way this WLS is going, I hope to be the healthiest I've ever been [me, shaking my head], I hope to travel a little [Sure.], maybe married. People keep saying why don't you get married, and I'm not ready for marriage." Translation on the last item: MG,W is not interested in marrying Hamber.
Voice 4: Someone who didn't keep their grades up was dropped by FAFSA and now has to pay like aby other plebe to go to their local community college. They ask Hamber if it's worth it. Listen to me, people. Do NOT ask Hamber for advice on anything. I guarantee the has no earthly idea what FAFSA is, and no real interest in higher education. You'd be better off going to the pet store and asking one of the bottom feeder fish the same question. At least they know what their role in life is, and they do it consistently. I'm not going to bother with Hamber's reply.
PO Box time.
Item one: apparently some sappy letter from someone named "Ren" or possibly "Wren", who knows. Hamber says Aww, and she's going to read it again. Listen, people: do NOT pour out your heart to Hamber. She may very well steal pieces of your life and will incorporate you into the fairy tales she makes up about her busy, active life.
Item two: Troll. Yu-Gi-Oh card of the Forbidden (dangleen) Leg. Hamber obviously does not understand this one, says "Random!" and thanks the sender.
Item three: A book called "And in This Shape She Gallops". Hamber thinks this is a poetry book. I'm amazed that Hamber, being the reader she is, and given that poetry is her "passion", like Lego or coloring, does not recognize this line fragment. It's a piece of Mercutio's famous monologue, also known as The Queen Mab Speech, from Romeo and Juliet. It's an odd, odd speech, out of place in this play, but would also be odd in any other, including A Midsummer Night's Dream, filled to the brim with oddball creatures. This may or may not be another troll. After all, Hamber is incapable of nuance or study of themes in literature. However, she did yammer on not terribly long ago about how riding horses is somehow animal abuse. Whatever the case, much like Mercutio's monologue, it's an oddball gift.
Hamber ends the vlog there so she can waddle off - or just stay sitting where she is, which is more likely - and film some other brilliant and inspiring content for us to view with wonder and awe.
TL;DW/R: Hamber runs errands, sitting in the car while MG,W does the actual physical work. She did go into Hobby Lobby so she could fondle everything. They get beetus bubble teas on the way home. Hamber sits and listens to Q&As, then opens PO items. One real troll item, one perhaps troll, and the other a heartfelt letter from someone who erroneously thought Hamber is a good listener or someone who cares deeply about other people.
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- Joined
- Oct 25, 2014
It kinda looks like she's in pain trying to twerk.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
You wanna?
You wanna?
You want a hicky from Faline? You want Cheesecake Factoree?
You want to keep blaming Becky? You better work, bitch
You want weight loss surgery? SPACE dance emergency?
Look hot in a Torrid bikini? You better work, bitch
You wanna live like Pinterest puked? Live in the Henry?
Party in Lexington?
You better work, bitch, you better work, bitch
You better work, bitch, you better work, bitch
Cornfed
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2023
Party at the cookie trough
Party at the cookie trough
- Joined
- Jan 2, 2023
It's a book that seems to be nothing more than a reinterpretation of traditional fairy tales.
And In This State She Gallops: Tan, J.W.: 9781790439881: Amazon.com: Books
And In This State She Gallops [Tan, J.W.] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. And In This State She Gallops
www.amazon.com
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2019
But... but... can heffalumps actually gallop? Hell, difficult as it is for them to even achieve forward momentum?
So.Many.Questions
So.Many.Questions
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2019
I was going to go look it up and find out. but i then realized that Hamber already takes up too much of my time and i really didn't give a shit anyway, because she'll either:
1. Never read it, and just do her standard "It was good" or "It had a twist"
2. Read (skim) through it, and just do her standard "It was good" or "It had a twist"
It's the amberverse equivalent of the Easy Bake Oven: content in, simplistic garbage out.
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2019
Youse been hiding you're as old as me. Sis had an Easy Bake Oven as kids. Me, being a prepubescent young lad had a Creepy Crawler cooker. We'd do crazy shit like cooking roaches or centipedes in the Creepy Crawler, then bake them in a cake in the Easy Bake oven.
Fun times!
I doubt Hamber or her
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
Tony's girlfriend/wife. Sister in law I believe.
Ayygs and Layygs
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 5, 2021
Someone on reddit pointed out that the butterfly clips just look like flies on her poop bun and I love that for her.
Still hasn't put a "don't send food" disclaimer on her PO Box stuff so I guess it isn't all that triggering. Maybe she hopes someone will send her another cake to eat at 2 am while Jade is asleep.
Still hasn't put a "don't send food" disclaimer on her PO Box stuff so I guess it isn't all that triggering. Maybe she hopes someone will send her another cake to eat at 2 am while Jade is asleep.
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2014
Yall are a bunch of Lezbo, Qweers and Faggots and I love each and every one of you....sexually.
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2019
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