The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[The Real Slim Shady]

If you only watch one moment of this I recommend 3:10 to 3:11 when Fat Paul is laying on his mattress to shoot. Seeing the recoil travel from his blubbery armpit through his blubbery belly to his blubbery arse and back again is like reliving the glory days of Mythbusters ballistic gel dummies.

boing

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I'm guessing the fuck shed was abandoned because at some point Kevin realized that a fuck shed with no electricity, running water, heat, or AC was going to have a vibe less like opulent harem quarters and more like a cartel kidnapping dungeon.

 

[Cpt. Stud Beefpile]

I'm guessing the fuck shed was abandoned because at some point Kevin realized that a fuck shed with no electricity, running water, heat, or AC was going to have a vibe less like opulent harem quarters and more like a cartel kidnapping dungeon.

Makes my first shitty studio apartment sound luxurious by comparison, and on the very rare occasion I got to bring home real women instead of...some semi-humanoid aberration.

 

[stupid frog]

Why is it airing in Canada and not USA though? None of this really makes sense.

Is this new(?) company gonna shred them apart?

 

[FinnSven]

They're troons. LARPing is the very essence of troonery.

They even seem to badly LARP out Steinbeck novels.
Even to the extent that they have managed to recreate the Dustbowl which was in part the cause for the plot of “Grapes of Wrath”.

 

[Oxyjen]

Why is it airing in Canada and not USA though? None of this really makes sense.

Is this new(?) company gonna shred them apart?

I predict it will still be extremely sympathetic to the tranch cause, and will cover only their telling of the key events, but will also be unintentionally hilarious / gear grinding, particularly if you’re in the know.

It may be the case that Ash couldn’t finish it because it was going to embarrass his friends unless he cut it away to nothing. This way he can still claim artistic merit for the cinematography, but perhaps escape criticism for any editing decisions that show the tranch how it actually was.

Why Canada, I guess that production company is Canadian so that’s where they want to showcase their work.

 

[Nanashi no kiwi]

They even seem to badly LARP out Steinbeck novels.
Even to the extent that they have managed to recreate the Dustbowl which was in part the cause for the plot of “Grapes of Wrath”.

At least Kevin hasn't tried to reenact the final scene where Rose of Sharon breastfeeds a grown man.


...yet.

 

[FinnSven]

At least Kevin hasn't tried to reenact the final scene where Rose of Sharon breastfeeds a grown man.


...yet.

He goes on about wanting big mommy milkers.

Some retarded chaser might get conned into such a horrible scene.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Don't need teefs to breastfeed.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm guessing the fuck shed was abandoned because at some point Kevin realized that a fuck shed with no electricity, running water, heat, or AC was going to have a vibe less like opulent harem quarters and more like a cartel kidnapping dungeon.

Counterpoint: it's Kevin. More likely he realized that he'd have to go downstairs and walk across the yard to get to it.

This is the 24/7 hornyposter who wouldn't walk down a hallway to meet a hookup at a furry convention.

 

[Nanashi no kiwi]

This is the 24/7 hornyposter who wouldn't walk down a hallway to meet a hookup at a furry convention.

And didn't realize that people he knew were visiting the Tranch because he couldn't be arsed to leave the main house, as I recall.

 

[Godchu]

And didn't realize that people he knew were visiting the Tranch because he couldn't be arsed to leave the main house, as I recall.

More like his room.

 

[Trianon]

The second trailer does seem to show dissent amongst the ranchers, with shade thrown toward the layabouts, who are seen as undermining the project. It looked like there was a start of an argument in the main room, but it's hard to tell what the context was.

 

[Humbert Humbert]

Even though the tranch is not doing anything atm, the thread still makes me laugh with updates. We got people making the Kiwidrones a reality via domestic airline flights, people dropping documentary trailers, people adapting Of Mice and Men to suit the Tranch. I love it.

I watched the trailers, actually. The audio isn’t there in either one posted directly to the farms, for some reason, so I went to the vimeo page to see them for myself. It was a blast from the past. It was even bittersweet.
Some things I’d like to point out from the longer trailer:
I both love and hate that we go from a clip of Bonnie with an alpaca:

To a sudden jumpcut of this:

And another hilarious transition (no pun intended) is a shot of the tractor dumping dirt with the credits:

To several angles and clips of Penny preparing his estrogen syringe while trying to compare him taking estrogen to a sick person taking their medicine.

Oh, and also I need to stress that they decided to not try to clean up whatsoever and felt it was fine to shoot a documentary in the living area of their home when it looked like this:

I know they are no stranger to having people filming in their messy house, but still… At least TRY to look like you don’t live in a pigsty with no shame.

Spoiler: Sentimental

I watched the first one in silence. It was a blast from the past, and I’m not quite sure why, but I felt a little sentimental when the tranch logo came into focus.

It is bittersweet, knowing that era of the tranch is over. The excitement every week, the twists and turns of events, it is over for the foreseeable future. And even if it isn’t over, it won’t be the same. All good things (well… arguably this was a bad thing) must come to an end.

But the tranch will live on in our hearts. You may say “why are you so emotional over a failed ranch run by a bunch of incompetent men larping as women”, and I would say, “because it was hilarious and produced a thread that could always make me laugh in my darkest hours.” It brought us kiwis together when we would open the thread and laugh at whatever was going on. It also taught us many things, including: house renovation, Indian reservations, 501c3 organizations, animal care, how to farm, guns, etc.

So thank you, tranchers and Kiwis, for teaching me so much and making me laugh. You have gotten me though some rough times.

 

[Red Mask]

I know this is way late, but I didn't see until recently. Just for archiving and er, Pets(kink)...WHAT!?

 

[Friendly Futa]

and er, Pets(kink)...WHAT!?

It's what they call the collared retards like Kev and Jen. Basically an excuse to no have to do anything at the tranch.

 

[stupid frog]

Kevin and Jen are "collared pets" or slaves or whatever term they use for the current conversation.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

If Kevin was my pet, I'd leave him tied to the fence outside the pound in the middle of the night.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

If Kevin was my pet, I'd leave him tied to the fence outside the pound in the middle of the night.

Make sure it's a kill shelter first, please, nobody deserves to have Kevin squatting in their space.

 

[Ghostse]

If Kevin was my pet, I'd leave him tied to the fence outside the pound in the middle of the night.

Just rehome him with Brianna Wu.