Containment 24-Julay-2016 Taint Megathread

[Haesindang Park]

It is only certain that someone will now...

I hope your username doesn't become a literal thing here if you're that someone.

 

[Son of Big Boss]

If an afterlife exists, then it will be awkward for Chris.
VERY awkward.

 

[Neem0]

I can't decide which would be better- for natural selection to finally finish him, or for history's greatest lolcow to keep lactating a few years more

 

[Mick92]

Goddamit, Chris.

 

[Ninja_Warrior]

I can't decide which would be better- for natural selection to finally finish him, or for history's greatest lolcow to keep lactating a few years more

Well...he has stated he has started producing milk from his teets after all.
Reality: If the internal abscess is large enough, and causing the kind of havoc in his system I think it is, aka it's started to affect his mind, he *could* actually die. It would essentially be suicide when it's an easy enough fix, go to the hospital, have them patch you up, spend a few days on the crazy person floor, move on. Seems basic. But Chris, chris never changes.

 

[ZE 021]

Has anyone else been feeling some, uhh, taint area pains as a result of reading this thread and seeing those photos? I can't imagine how much this shit must hurt, it must feel as painful as a hundred chafes.

 

[Frozen Fishsticks]

When Chris dies, who gets the rights to Sonichu? Maybe we can troll him into making a will and leaving Sonichu to a new girlfriend who is really a guy. As he's dying, we can reveal the truth and have a bunch of people in pickle costumes burst into the hospital room and laugh at him so he can experience one more moment of defeat, shame, and humiliation that has not adversely affected him as his lesbian soul slips out through his wound-gina. Later, we can go to the funeral service, kick over the coffin and mock how fat and bald he is. Um, was. Hey, we could also bribe the funeral home with gift cards and comic book investor money to make sure his makeup is shaded blue.

 

[sourrascal]

I can't decide which would be better- for natural selection to finally finish him, or for history's greatest lolcow to keep lactating a few years more

Technically natural selection already works because there's no way for Chris to breed. Thank god.

 

[WeeGee]

It's not only baffling that he thinks a flesh wound is a vagina developing, but it's baffling that he can sit there and lie to the people that show real concern for his well being. He could have just went all out and got a Vaginoplasty, but Legos will always be top priority in the world of Cwcville.

 

[Dain Bramage]

The only reason he didn't bleed from that dry shave was due to the layer of grease that coats him. That's not pain tolerance.

I think the only time I've ever seen Chris react to pain was during his "Flying Elephants" (aka "Random Access Humor") video, where he was spazzing around the room and and he hit his spine up against the doorknob. OUCH!

Spoiler

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

So, how long til some ween gives Chris $50 to stick a dildo in his mangina on video?

 

[Krispum Western Chumbler]

Raped/murdered by his own immune system in the prison that is the hoard.

Might I also be the first to express mild surprise that none of our new users have tried to use this photo as an avatar?

Only faggots do that shit...

Spoiler

 

[Null]

Heads are going to start rolling if you fucking people don't start spoilering your shit.

 

[AnimuGinger]

Looks more like a perianal pressure ulcer to me. Which is very easily infected and can turn south very quickly.
Or it could be an abscess, but it looks awfully clean for an abscess.

 

[Neem0]

So, how long til some ween gives Chris $50 to stick a dildo in his mangina on video?

Does he still has the medallion he put up his butt to save JUULAYYY?
I bet if a sweetheart came along he could be persuaded to testdrive his new hole with it, although it'd probably be lethal.

 

[Queen of the hoard]

If what Chris has is a hole from an infection draining he is probably in less pain than before it popped. It might be a popped mrsa Boil those can pop up anywhere and hurt like hell until they pop. Synthetic underwear make them worse and pads make them worse if they are located there. Witch hazel and iodine would be my cleaning suggestion. If he starts eating manuka honey he might be able to keep this from happening again. Straight rubbing alchohal is just drying it out and causing it to reopen. I personally don't think he will kill himself with this but he probably needs antibiotics he seems to get out of every pickle with less damage than a normal human being. he is not normal though.

 

[cruderudedude]

"My Labia started splitting open" needs to be the new Quote of the Now, because, fuck, it shows just how far we have come with this guy.

 

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

When Chris dies, who gets the rights to Sonichu?

Sonichu is owned by Christian Weston Chandler. That guy doesn't exist anymore.

 

[Kosher Dill]

When Chris dies, who gets the rights to Sonichu?

It works the same way as physical possessions. Assuming Chris has no will, it'll essentially go to his closest living relative. If half-brothers are considered the same as full brothers under the law, Cole would get Sonichu. Otherwise the estate might get split between Cole and Bob's kids.
... Or if Mia Hamm secretly gave birth to Crystal, that unfortunate child would get everything.

 

[Jack Awful]

It works the same way as physical possessions. Assuming Chris has no will, it'll essentially go to his closest living relative. If half-brothers are considered the same as full brothers under the law, Cole would get Sonichu. Otherwise the estate might get split between Cole and Bob's kids.
... Or if Mia Hamm secretly gave birth to Crystal, that unfortunate child would get everything.

I find the idea of Cole inheriting Sonichu more hilarious than it would actually be.