I really dislike the way forgiveness and redemption are phrased when dealing with people like Ralph, it is a pattern that I think has led to fuck ups like Ralph using it as an excuse to themselves to prevent becoming better or making better choices because they think they can do whatever and just have a redemption arc some day.
That is not how it works. At some point forgiveness becomes a matter between them and god and giving undue leeway for these people to just waltz back in like nothing happened is just irresponsible gambling. It is this technical out that reminds me of people like Destiny claiming because everything is technically political that means idk Spongebob can be reasonably called a political show, everyone can be redeemed!
Well what would that actually look like? If Ralph is convincing enough for a bit should he just be allowed to be a full time dad to his kids again? no. for one his family is split between two women so that is not really possible even on the best of terms. You see Ralph has two moms, that is a choice that permanently altered the relationship he has with his kids and the mothers. What else is a permanent choice? Showing that you're willing to harm, belittle, insult, abuse, abandon, and deprive your own children having them run around in filth so you can drink or naming them after a neo nazi chomo site to suck up to your boss or leaving your son behind because you weren't allowed a harem of easily manipulating bpd teenagers fresh out of the school playground.
Ralph can't be trusted even in on good terms because at some point you have to take that into account or you're bringing undue risk to the children. It is a long road until I think there is even anything good to come from Ralph visiting them. And that is the core of what Ralph and others are missing. Forgiveness isn't hard because he has to just climb some mountain or pass some trial. It's hard because he's made choices that will permanent impact the ease and quality of the optimal road he needs to take. He's right now in a position where he shouldn't be trusted to be around his own kids and the least pain he could cause them is to die if he stays as he is.
It's not "get sober no matter how hard and be good ol goofball dad ralph" waltzing back into the picture. no its taking the difficult road of recovery and stabilizing your life on all fronts financially mentally physically etc so you can then try to have any part in your kid's lives and wading through the debris of things like you saying xander was a failure that needed rerolled. You can't take that back, a redemption arc won't unsay that, when xander learns of it you've got a great difficulty just from making him want to be in your life and feel good about you inspite of how callous and cruel you were just from that one thing.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you shouldn't suffer consequences, beating an old lady should probably get you some legal penalty even if you get on good terms with your elderly victim and all involved, it just means accepting the due and working through it. Forgiveness doesn't mean things can go back, it means working around the new state of things. And it can be too late and too difficult. Ronnie can't be Ralph's dad now even if he were alive, itd have been too late. Ralph wouldnt just be able to pretend the man raised him any reconciliation would have been an entirely different relationship from what they could have had and there would have been times that he'd still have consequences "why can't you do this right ethan? why no interest in this?" "you never taught me dad". Forever altered. Ralph also can't decide to drive Sandra to the hospital without calling her a bitch, thats passed. You can lose options and time and resources to fix things. at some point there is nothing left.
He does have a chance to rebuild something but it is a hell of a tight rope with a hell of a time limit and it's probably not possible to do near as much as you should have just done initially. You might be too late for most or a lot of things. Thats what it means for forgiveness and moving past this to be hard. not just having to pass a difficult skill check before people treat you as if you did nothing wrong or all the negative consequences aren't still happening. I feel like the actual damage and difficulty is often understated and used to turn God into an excuse and a crutch just because it is possible Ralph could redeem himself before god doesnt mean oh hes good even if he manages to take the proper steps and it certainly doesnt mean it should shift from pointing out whats ralph done to discussing some imagined redemption that hasnt and probably never will happen. the tone shouldnt be "i think he can be saved guys" it should be "then do it pig"
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