Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[Druveer]

An elaborate ritual just to get fat losers to finally clean their house like a normal adult.

 

[Forgotten Specter]

yeah, and even with that they're encouraging people to cut corners

 

[Yaks]

I feel like its weird for them to call this witchcraft when it is calling upon the Christian god

I think they're larping as some of the Appalachian folk Christians, but they're bad at it. I've ran into more recently trying to sell books saying they were taught by their families, but tacking on Witchcraft to sell it better, despite the very term probably would have given their granny's a heart attack.

 

[Aunt Carol]

An elaborate ritual just to get fat losers to finally clean their house like a normal adult.

yeah, and even with that they're encouraging people to cut corners

You guys seem to know about witches and housework: can they paint a sigil on a Roomba and call it good? Or would they have to get the mopping one and put holy water in the fluid tank?

Man, if I had drafting skills and a Cricut I could sell Roomba sigil stickers on Etsy; I bet that'd go over gangbusters. Little Seal of Solomon Roomba vacuuming around, showing off your witch cred and/or dragging dog poop over the carpet.

 

[Gunter Hatherer]

Mixing Christianity with witchcraft may be prohibited by Christianity, but it's also an old old story.

 

[Yaks]

Mixing Christianity with witchcraft may be prohibited by Christianity, but it's also an old old story.

Back in my day we just wore scapulars so The Virgin Mary wouldn't damn us to hellfire if we died in a car accident, adding insult to the injury of already pooping ourselves for the EMTs that found our bodies. (This is also why you should always prepare for accident death by wearing clean undies.)

 

[Yaks]

Man, if I had drafting skills and a Cricut I could sell Roomba sigil stickers on Etsy; I bet that'd go over gangbusters. Little Seal of Solomon Roomba vacuuming around, showing off your witch cred and/or dragging dog poop over the carpet.

I have both, you wanna go 50/50 on it for your investment in the dollar store cricut paper?

(As a blessed witch I don't feel sorry for double posting)

 

[Ophelia]

(This is also why you should always prepare for accident death by wearing clean undies.)

So you can befoul clean underwear instead of a pair that’s already dirty?

 

[Yaks]

So you can befoul clean underwear instead of a pair that’s already dirty?

It's called shitting myself with dignity.

 

[Aunt Carol]

May be an unpopular opinion, but I prefer to see a patient wearing used, worn-in underwear if they're in a condition where we might have to cut it off.

Hip lady doesn't hesitate to say "cut 'em" when it's holey Hanes, but fancy new panties mean she might hem and haw and demand to have them scooched off. Same with bras under an immobilizer.

 

[Yaks]

The algorithm blessed me with this totally real and not an actor exorcism with televangelist Bob Larson with a chick who sold crystals and did reiki. Let this be a warning to all of you witches:

Time stamped at 44 minutes for your exorcism viewing pleasure.

 

[Yaks]

You've heard of Moon Water... but have you heard of..





I have questions. Namely if this isn't just tap water they're selling... where the fuck are they getting dead body gamer bath water?

 

[DumbDude43]

You've heard of Moon Water... but have you heard of..

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View attachment 5106656View attachment 5106659

I have questions. Namely if this isn't just tap water they're selling... where the fuck are they getting dead body gamer bath water?

>Handmade
ummmm...?!

 

[Slideshow Bill]

I don't know about you guys but I'm kind of addicted to the "book of shadows" videos. It's like scrapbooking for the mentally insane. It would be so much better if these were books of local flora and fauna. The autists in the olden days obsessively journaled about birds and insects. Reject modernity, embrace tradition.

 

[Yaks]

I don't know about you guys but I'm kind of addicted to the "book of shadows" videos. It's like scrapbooking for the mentally insane. It would be so much better if these were books of local flora and fauna. The autists in the olden days obsessively journaled about birds and insects. Reject modernity, embrace tradition.

I delved into them for a little while. There's one older Aussie lady I like, but she's basically just making art books. For the rest it's 99% the exact same thing over and over, but change whatever European deity they're working with (it's usually the same 3-4). So it got boring pretty fast for me.

I do find it funny how many of them try to antique them so it looks like a mystical ancient book of magical knowledge.

 

[Gunter Hatherer]

I do find it funny how many of them try to antique them so it looks like a mystical ancient book of magical knowledge.

So ... a movie prop.

 

[Yaks]

So ... a movie prop.

Funny enough I've seen a good chunk of them directly copy from the Charmed tv show book prop and say so in their videos. Even pages from the show end up in their religious texts.

 

[glass_houses]

My favorite I ran into on the early internet was someone posting about how to find faeries and their experiences with the magical creatures of the forest. They would take photos and do, what I assume now, is shitty MSPaint edits to better show what they had seen in the woods. I remember one catching my imagination the most still, it was about running into a black smoke creature hiding behind a tree, which they tossed an apple to as an offering to eat. I wish I could find it on the wayback machine, but I'd have no idea where to even start.

Could you be thinking about Zananeichan, one of the first Otherkin and possible troon? I got curious after reading her ED page a few years back and tracked her down to her Tumblr; she was full blown schizophrenic, convinced that aliens were in the White House and had had her phone number blocked by them because she wouldn't stop calling them. She obsessively painted aliens and had tons of canvases with green skinned aliens. It was actually really sad, she was extremely ill and she'd driven away pretty much everyone who ever cared about her because she refused to take her medication. I think she even harassed her neighbours periodically as well, whenever she had a break she'd bash on their doors and scream at them.

 

[NoReturn]

• 0:15 - She works with Odysseus
• 1:10 - 19 tarot decks
• 1:48 - CRINGE
• 3:23 - Useful advice
• 6:12 - If you don't feel witchy because the trend isn't trending anymore, here's how you fix it
• 7:19 - Use piss in your magic
• 8:00 - Another case of witchcraft being bad for you with no magic required, this shit just fucks up your mental state
• 8:50 - Same
• 9:00 - Same, to a fucked up degree
• 10:33 - Cover your head for god preventing people from reading your mind
• 12:04 - Is this a witch mezuzah?

I have questions. Namely if this isn't just tap water they're selling... where the fuck are they getting dead body gamer bath water?

I don't know about you guys but I'm kind of addicted to the "book of shadows" videos.

There's one older Aussie lady I like, but she's basically just making art books.

This one?

 

[Yaks]

Could you be thinking about Zananeichan, one of the first Otherkin and possible troon? I got curious after reading her ED page a few years back and tracked her down to her Tumblr; she was full blown schizophrenic, convinced that aliens were in the White House and had had her phone number blocked by them because she wouldn't stop calling them. She obsessively painted aliens and had tons of canvases with green skinned aliens. It was actually really sad, she was extremely ill and she'd driven away pretty much everyone who ever cared about her because she refused to take her medication. I think she even harassed her neighbours periodically as well, whenever she had a break she'd bash on their doors and scream at them.

No this would have been a long ass time ago, super early internet pre-2000. Her neighbors were clearly reptilians though and deserved everything they got.

This one?

Yep that's the one! She just seems like a nice (crazy) lady making colorful books.

I also liked this Kitchen Witch recipe grimoire. It seemed to have actually useful recipes in it for household cleaners, shoe polish, etc. Just you know, with goddess vagina cookies mixed in.