Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

[Aunt Carol]

I also liked this Kitchen Witch recipe grimoire. It seemed to have actually useful recipes in it for household cleaners, shoe polish, etc. Just you know, with goddess vagina cookies mixed in.

If spells work like recipes, couldn't your life's work grimoire be a wooden box full of water-stained 3x5 cards? That would be endearing, if not aesthetic.

 

[Yaks]

If spells work like recipes, couldn't your life's work grimoire be a wooden box full of water-stained 3x5 cards? That would be endearing, if not aesthetic.

And a lot more handy to sort through. I approve of this grimoire.

Spoiler

As someone currently sorting through my grandma's shoebox of recipes dating back to the 1910s to the 90s I'm biased on the aesthetic.

 

[fuzzyrodent85]

In Saucon valley in pa a federal judge ruled in favor of a middle school have a Satan club.

Spoiler: Does lucifer forgive autism?

Good honey is really expensive. How do people have the money to mix it with vaginal discharge instead of spreading the bee syrup on some toast?


Yeah set up an altar decorated with 69 cans of Dylan mulvaney bud light.


I know what to do. Get out some mugwort, olive oil and lemon juice and rub it all over your body for protection. Then preheat your oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. After that crawl into the oven and bake for 30 minutes. When the ritual is complete, you won't be frozen anymore!


It means stop casting spells to make friends and do something productive with your time.


Maybe your dad just thinks Brigid is thirsty and wants some water.


There are some religions that believe that you will be tortured in the after life if you kill yourself, so there ARE deities that don't forgive depression.


The reason you'll never find love isn't because you're morally wrong to pay a witch on etsy to do a love spell. It's because you're retarded enough to pay witch on etsy to do a love spell.

That's a messy person. And I don't mean the soccer player.


If period blood is moon blood, would hemorrhoids leakage be sun blood?


OPs story sounds even faker than Kim Kardashian's tits.

 

[Yaks]

Yeah set up an altar decorated with 69 cans of Dylan mulvaney bud light

All these elaborate rituals and this is the true answer. Center yourself in front of the altar in the evenings by repeating this mantra, "Yaaaaaass...."

 

[Druveer]

It's like scrapbooking for the mentally insane. It would be so much better if these were books of local flora and fauna. The autists in the olden days obsessively journaled about birds and insects. Reject modernity, embrace tradition.

Which interestingly enough was the beginning of our sciences, study the natural world and write what you discover down in a book. Those people were and still are valuable and these people are useless freaks.

Funny enough I've seen a good chunk of them directly copy from the Charmed tv show book prop and say so in their videos. Even pages from the show end up in their religious texts.

Makes sense, you're faith, you're traditions, you're gods are all made up bullshit by various hippies over the past century+ might as well steal from modern tv. As long as you like it it's magical! (Probably)

As someone currently sorting through my grandma's shoebox of recipes dating back to the 1910s to the 90s I'm biased on the aesthetic.

Turn that shit into a cookboox and get it published. I will buy that shit.

 

[glass_houses]

Makes sense, you're faith, you're traditions, you're gods are all made up bullshit by various hippies over the past century+ might as well steal from modern tv. As long as you like it it's magical! (Probably)

What it is, is that the pages from the Charmed book have ended up in a larger collection of 'grimorie' pages which is being constantly sold, resold, uploaded, circulated etc around the internet for years now, with the stated intention that new witches could add these new/old spells to their own grimorie. I'd be surprised if any of those witches knew the original source of those pages.

 

[Yaks]

What it is, is that the pages from the Charmed book have ended up in a larger collection of 'grimorie' pages which is being constantly sold, resold, uploaded, circulated etc around the internet for years now, with the stated intention that new witches could add these new/old spells to their own grimorie. I'd be surprised if any of those witches knew the original source of those pages.

Can confirm from a few videos a lot of them admit to buying/printing/copying specifically because of Charmed. I'm sure there's a few who have no clue though.

Edit: Kind of like how The Craft spawned a new generation of crazy teens in the 90s, Charmed has the same legacy but for a different type of socially awkward teen girl.

 

[Ophelia]

Edit: Kind of like how The Craft spawned a new generation of crazy teens in the 90s

Charmed stole some of its shit from The Craft, including the theme song.

 

[Druveer]

https://www.humblebundle.com/books/...surviveeverythinghandbooksskyhorse_bookbundle
You folks might appreciate this, it's a humble bundle of 41 books for "surviving everything" here is the description of the bundle:

Foraging. Trapping. Canning. Bushcraft. While this collection from Skyhorse is meant to prepare you to survive any situation, disaster or otherwise, there are skills everyone should know. With titles like Trapper’s Bible,Complete Guide to Edible Wild Plants, Ultimate Book of Everyday Knots, and over three dozen more books, you won’t just learn to survive in whatever situation you find yourself in—you’ll thrive.​

I kind of get the feeling they were trying to make this list appeal to "preppers" but personally I'm more interested in the book about, plants, canning veggies/fruits, farming, smoking/curing meats. Don't get me wrong there is plenty of stuff in here about surviving in the wilderness on your own, camping guides, shit like that and all that's fine but the above stuff; when I was looking at the list I thought of my parents who were born in the depression, a good bit of this knowledge they knew because they had to to in order to survive, alot of this is well... lost knowledge for most of the western world, especially for younger people.

Also I can promise you most of the books in the link above will provide more tangible results than any shit these retarded, "witches" do.

 

[glass_houses]

https://www.humblebundle.com/books/...surviveeverythinghandbooksskyhorse_bookbundle
You folks might appreciate this, it's a humble bundle of 41 books for "surviving everything" here is the description of the bundle:

Foraging. Trapping. Canning. Bushcraft. While this collection from Skyhorse is meant to prepare you to survive any situation, disaster or otherwise, there are skills everyone should know. With titles like Trapper’s Bible,Complete Guide to Edible Wild Plants, Ultimate Book of Everyday Knots, and over three dozen more books, you won’t just learn to survive in whatever situation you find yourself in—you’ll thrive.​

I kind of get the feeling they were trying to make this list appeal to "preppers" but personally I'm more interested in the book about, plants, canning veggies/fruits, farming, smoking/curing meats. Don't get me wrong there is plenty of stuff in here about surviving in the wilderness on your own, camping guides, shit like that and all that's fine but the above stuff; when I was looking at the list I thought of my parents who were born in the depression, a good bit of this knowledge they knew because they had to to in order to survive, alot of this is well... lost knowledge for most of the western world, especially for younger people.

Also I can promise you most of the books in the link above will provide more tangible results than any shit these retarded, "witches" do.

Are they general knowledge or specific to North America?

 

[NoReturn]

Charmed stole some of its shit from The Craft, including the theme song.

Guys you don't get it.
It's deep because the lyric is "I am the son an heir" but like, we're witches, not men, and it sounds like "Sun and Air".
Wooooooooah.
It's like, deep.

I kind of get the feeling they were trying to make this list appeal to "preppers" but personally I'm more interested in the book about, plants, canning veggies/fruits, farming, smoking/curing meats.

Preppers and tradwives don't have dibs on basic survival skills, money saving, and nature knowledge.
Thanks for the books link!

 

[Druveer]

Preppers and tradwives don't have dibs on basic survival skills, money saving, and nature knowledge.
Thanks for the books link!

No problem!

Are they general knowledge or specific to North America?

That... is a damn good question. Looking at the list a few of them talk about foraging.
One is written and published by the US Army so I'm going to assume that one is NA centric.
Foraging for Survival's amazon page specifcially states it's US centric.
The Big Book of Backyard Medicine states it has global applications.
Adventures in Edible Plant Foraging states it's US centric.
The Ultimate Guide to Self-Reliant Living seems to be general information mostly.

So... one thing I picked up looking up a bunch of these books on Amazon, for probably 90% of them if you were to buy a physical copy one of the books off Amazon you'll pay more than enough to get all 41 books off of HumbleBundle. For those who've never used humble bundle it's important to note you aren't getting a physical book, you're getting a digital book. Hope one of those survivor books talks about solar energy to charge a tablet to read your book.

On the other hand, looking at the kindle/digitial book prices on amazon, you'd probably get 4 or 5 books for what you'd pay for the bundle on the HumbleBundle site. So even if you can't use all the books. I would say it's still a really good deal to get all of them.

 

[Ophelia]

It's deep because the lyric is "I am the son an heir" but like, we're witches, not men, and it sounds like "Sun and Air".

I doubt they knew the lyrics were “the son and the heir.” They thought it was “sun and air,” so witchy.

 

[Yaks]

I miss the 90s witch stuff.

My mom was into woowoo stuff until the day she died. I have a lot of very special weird memories from that time in my formative years.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I miss the 90s witch stuff.

My mom was into woowoo stuff until the day she died. I have a lot of very special weird memories from that time in my formative years.

Maybe ten years ago, I met a dude who had to hold a pendulum over any medication before he took it, to see if its energy would "agree" with his body.

So you'd think he'd only have to pendulum at a bag of Unasyn once, and then after that he'd be fine with subsequent Unasyn, but you would be wrong. I asked if it was something where the pharmacy could re-mix things or give him a different bag, like maybe there was energy bleed-in from the pharmacy tech's... aura...? No, that wasn't it either; it had to be the right moment and the right medication. Late at night he tended to just do a two-finger kind of Jedi wave over a medication, not the whole pendulum thing, and he only did it occasionally to oral medications.

Anyway he was at least chill. So many of the witchy people nowadays are a photo filter over equal parts essential oils and free-floating hatred. The Internet being easily accessible is like having the Kitab al-Azif on the "Staff Recommends" shelf at the library.

 

[Protistology]

Maybe ten years ago, I met a dude who had to hold a pendulum over any medication before he took it, to see if its energy would "agree" with his body.

So you'd think he'd only have to pendulum at a bag of Unasyn once, and then after that he'd be fine with subsequent Unasyn, but you would be wrong. I asked if it was something where the pharmacy could re-mix things or give him a different bag, like maybe there was energy bleed-in from the pharmacy tech's... aura...? No, that wasn't it either; it had to be the right moment and the right medication. Late at night he tended to just do a two-finger kind of Jedi wave over a medication, not the whole pendulum thing, and he only did it occasionally to oral medications.

Anyway he was at least chill. So many of the witchy people nowadays are a photo filter over equal parts essential oils and free-floating hatred. The Internet being easily accessible is like having the Kitab al-Azif on the "Staff Recommends" shelf at the library.

That's called OCD.

 

[Yaks]

So many of the witchy people nowadays are a photo filter over equal parts essential oils and free-floating hatred

It's weird because even the chill ones have become weirdos and strangely aggressive. Funny enough I noticed it around the time I started noticing the sudden trend of essential oils in the stay-at-home-mom conservative and liberal woo woo circles. I noticed them because my mom kept trying to put lemon oil on my temples for stress whenever I would see her. I guess my shakira was off or something.

 

[King Of The Kiwis]

/pol/ pagans are really fucking weird

 

[NoReturn]

I miss the 90s witch stuff.

/pol/ pagans are really fucking weird

 

[Gunter Hatherer]

/pol/ pagans are really fucking weird

I can't read minds but I seriously speculate this is example of someone doing shtick.