What are some of your "warning sign" bands? - When you hear someone says they like X band then it's time to ask for the check.

[Spunt]

Metal has a few:

- Slayer. I don't know if wearing Slayer hoodies makes you a fat, bald, boozy asshole, but any festival where Slayer were playing would be filled with these cunts. Slayer were the fastest, heaviest and most blasphemous band in the world in about 1986, but they've been surpassed on all fronts since then. Their fans are still stuck in that period, they're mostly in their late 40s or early 50s but still think being the school bully makes you cool. They usually really, really like WH40k but refuse to play by any rules post about 3rd edition (40K is on I think its 9th edition now, for reference). In Flames fans are similar, but at least their band doesn't suck quite as hard.

- Dream Theater. Autistic, kissless virgins who like the musical complexity and lack of any emotional depth. Often bedroom musicians who know all the scales but can't play with other musicians and can only learn music note-for-note rather than create anything. Will want to talk to you about guitar pedals whether you show any interest in them or not.

- Marilyn Manson. Jesus Christ, his fans are the goddamn worst. If you're still listening to this shit in your 40s there's something really fucking wrong with you. I went to one of his shows a few years ago. Not only did he fucking suck, his fans were the worst behaved crowd I've ever been in. Guys standing in the aisles groping girls as they went past, people standing in front of the wheelchair area, people pissing in cups and throwing it into the pit, fights breaking out, and these people were almost all in their 30s.

- Maximum the Hormone, Dir En Grey, X-Japan, Babymetal etc. Weebdom and metal. Name a worse combination. I used to work over the road from a big venue, and when one of these bands were playing the whole area was full of greasy fat otakus, blinking nervously because it was the first time they had seen the sky in months, stumbling towards the entrance, salivating at the idea that there might be girls in the crowd they can creep on (there are, but they tend to be asexual autistic fuckups hiding in the corners fantasising about their anime husbandos).

- Alestorm. Pretty much Reddit: the band, with a fanbase to match. They're also one of the worst live acts I've ever seen.

- Brokencyde. You think you're funny, but you're not.

Outside of metal:

- Lewis Capaldi. There is simply no way someone with a functioning internal monologue can enjoy this fucking dross. I fucking hate Ed Sheeran, but he at least can sing and write songs that sound in some way different from each other and I can sort of see the appeal for bored housewives who daydream about fucking the postman. Capaldi, though, dollar store Ed Sheeran that he is, has the most grating voice in modern music, a piercing, deafening whine like an air-raid siren that he uses to bellow over basic chord progressions about the same basic-bitch "emotional" bollocks that couldn't sound any faker and less authentic. I don't really like the NPC meme, but I can't think of anything more fitting for someone who consumes the rubbish this awful human funkopop shits out. You literally can't have any critical faculties to enjoy this.

- Megan Trainor. It's hard to separate my utter hatred for her and her music from my utter hatred for her fans, but Megan Trainor fans are the most irritating girl at any party, braying about how "quirky" they are and their "vintage" tastes in fashion. This is music for BPD narcissists and trust fund brats, the girls who get offended that anyone would dare ask them out, like, who does he think he is? In fact they all tend to talk like this? With the rising inflection? Die.

 

[Norwegian Trailer Trash]

Burzum. Varg sucks. His music sucks, his rpg sucks, and his YouTube channel was funny because of how fucking stupid it was.

If someone says Burzum is their favorite band, they're likely insufferable on so many levels that you can probably enrage them into a stroke by saying something like "Euronymous was right, Kraftwerk is great" (and they are) or "the Lords of Chaos movie is good" (it's whatever but is actually funny when portraying Varg as a chubby chaser).

 

[internet friend]

Death grips: pretentious redditor. All that needs to be said.

 

[Sawamura Simp]

I've been in bands for 20 years.
The worst kind of people I've met were always the posers, not the hardcore fans.
But hardcore fans (on average) usually smelled worst
and suffered from greater arrested development.

Be it audience or musicians themselves,
this applied evenly in my pre-Spotify era experience.

Modern music rules and stereotypes exceed my understanding or interest.

I don't really know. How much of political/topical punk like Dead Kennedys actually holds up?

You're kidding, right?

Holiday in Cambodia

California Uber Alles

Post-Tony Hawk 2/MTV, Mid-Guitar Hero and Pre-Spotify era, they were called "anthems".

Plenty groups mentioned in this thread are fine in doses (Ramones) or have different periods appealing to different tastes (Grateful Dead) but hardcore fans of anything are pretty dreadful.

Liking Green Day, Fall Out Boy, or Panic! At the Disco is a concern. However, if you encounter someone who claims to love all three, RUN.

I subscribe to this. Pretty much like indicators of mental illness,
1 or 2 might be a quirk, but a specific set of 3 to 5 bands
can be trusted as a surefire warning sign.

"OK, so you like Backstreet Boys, Westlife AND NSYNC. Gotta go."
"Oh, so you only listen to Bad Religion, Dead Kennedys AND Ramones and you're 43. Gotcha."
"Pantera, Slayer and Anthrax; nice collection of T-shirts you always bring to parties!"

It was like that before the Spotify Era.
This people had most if not all of the cassettes/CDs/DVDs.
As in "paid for them". Online convenience only amplified the availability.
And yet the smell remains the same.

It's a red flag to me if your behavior starts resembling Captain Ahab regarding anything.

Some people can't help their autism. Official Fan Clubs
(KISS's KISS Army, Aerosmith's Aero-Force One) predate online convenience.

In an ever-changing world (changing even faster as we blink), beliefs bring stability.
How many times have you heard the phrase "[band X] has saved my life" unironically?
Usually from people that don't profess a particular devotion to a standard religion.

Sounds like a teenager impressionable feeling
that even persists on people crossing the 35-year-old threshold for a reason.
It's usually at the root of every already-labelled annoying fandom as well.

This people see Paul Stanley/Ace Frehley, Jon Bon Jovi/Richie Sambora,
Steven Tyler/Joe Perry, James Hetfield/Dave Mustaine, Axl Rose/Slash,
etcetera, as idols and role-models.

Always two dads, eh? That could go on the mental illness checkmark.

Spoiler: For those interested.

I'd recommend Sam Dunn's "Metal: A Headbanger's Journey" and "Global Metal."
Both documentaries have great quotes and things worth considering on this issue.

[...] slightly off-topic: If someone says they like classical music because "it's relaxing", assume they have never played Burnout: Paradise.

Fixed.

 

[Maggots on a Train v2]

- Marilyn Manson. Jesus Christ, his fans are the goddamn worst. If you're still listening to this shit in your 40s there's something really fucking wrong with you.

This. Marilyn Manson has the least musical talent in proportion to his/their massive, massive msm overexposure of any other musical act ever. The best MM tracks are like the filler tracks you find near the end of any other band's worst album. If anybody thinks I'm joking, go listen to some MM tracks in 2023. I promise that it won't hit the same. You've heard 100 better tracks every single year since MM seemed good. Anybody who would pay to see MM live in 2023 still owns the censored edition CDs they bought at Walmart in 2001.

 

[TotalNematodeDeath]

Foo Fighters is becoming a whole new version of a red flag, the band went from a mediocre act that was only known for Dave Grohl to suddenly a massive appreciated act with one of the greatest drummers in the industry. If I could meet a single person who knew that drummer by name before he died I'd give them 100 dollars. They managed to use his death as a massive PR push to make the band relevant again and dipshits on sites like RateYourMusic eat that shit up. If you went from not giving a shit about a band 1 step removed from Nickleback to suddenly loving them after a no name band member died then you're the total definition of a poser with no taste.

 

[RACISM]

I have a kind of reverse red flag. If she doesn't find Anal Cunt entertaining we probably aren't going to get along.

 

[Nicholas II of Russia]

Just remember.

If she likes Lana del Rey or Taylor Swift, run to the hills, she might want to cut your dick off and probably murder you in your sleep just because she hates men that much, probably you will never meet a father-in-law.

 

[Pee Cola]

Foo Fighters is becoming a whole new version of a red flag, the band went from a mediocre act that was only known for Dave Grohl to suddenly a massive appreciated act with one of the greatest drummers in the industry.

Foo Fighters is for Australian dads in their 40s who drive a Ford Ranger Wildtrak yet never take it off-road, and the biggest thing he carries in the tray is his kids' footy boots on Saturdays. He'll spend half of Sunday morning cleaning and polishing said tray whilst rocking out to the Fooeys and maybe a bit of Powderfinger if he wants to change things up a bit.

 

[Larry David's Opera Cape]

Anyone who actually claims to like Berlioz is either a psycho or worse, a violist.

 

[Spunt]

I have a kind of reverse red flag. If she doesn't find Anal Cunt entertaining we probably aren't going to get along.

We need Seth Putnam more than ever, to point out that recycling is, in fact, gay.

Also he was right about Eric Clapton.

But Impaled Northern Moonforest > Anal Cunt

 

[Surfin' Biiird]

Molchat Doma

I'm glad you brought up Molchat Doma because if you hadn't posted anything, I would have.

I went to a Molchat Doma concert a little bit ago. I had listened to their band from when they got kinda popular on /wsg/ and some parts of YouTube a few years back, and I genuinely didn't know that they had some kind of containment breach, and had made their way onto TikTok until I stepped foot into the concert hall, and holy zoomers galore. It was all, exactly like you described, suburbanite zoomers faking depression, with a LARGE number of troons. A shocking amount of troons. One troon I saw had a shirt with a knife and a gun on it, which had text in the baby pink and blue saying "Protect Trans Kids," no lie. They ALL smelled bad and were some of the most retarded looking motherfuckers I've ever seen in that concentrated of an area.

You mentioned Sudno, which is their most popular track due to TikTok apparently, and I gave the biggest sigh of relief when they didn't play it. I would have probably shot myself if they played "the song from TikTok" and the (average age 15-16) crowd flipped.

They also played their most singalong-able song, which is Танцевать, where they repeat the lyrics "Я не умею танцевать" over and over again. They turned the mic out to the crowd, and it was dead silent. You would think, for a song where you just have to repeat a few words on band you "like so much" that it would be easy to sing along with it, but no. Silence. Fucking sad tbh, and you could see how the singer reacted, which made me double sad

That experience seriously affected how I listen to the band, because now, instead of thinking of edgy cool Belarusian post-Soviet dudes, I think of edgy uncool post-Internet Age zoomzooms.

In conclusion, fuck zoomers, fuck TikTok, and if you like the sound of Molchat Doma, but don't want the associated cancer, just listen to like ssshhhiiittt! or The End of Electronics or something. I even bought a hoodie I don't want to wear lol...

Spoiler: Addendum that doesn't really fit the thread

All of the concerts I have gone to recently have just been people recording the shit on their phones. Might sperg about it in a different thread, but I could write a fucking book on how much that pisses me off.

 

[Psyduck]

I would have probably shot myself if they played "the song from TikTok" and the (average age 15-16) crowd flipped.

There's nothing more disheartening than listening to your playlist and have some zoomer come along and go "Oh that's the song from TikTok!"

A song you like is now reduced to a joke, not even a good joke at that

 

[Surfin' Biiird]

There's nothing more disheartening than listening to your playlist and have some zoomer come along and go "Oh that's the song from TikTok!"

A song you like is now reduced to a joke, not even a good joke at that

In fact there was this one hispanic girl there who said, and I remember this verbatim, because you don't forget this kind of thing, "If they play that one song from tiktok I'm gonna dance so hard."

But hey, what can you do?

 

[Desu Mountain]

Burzum. Varg sucks. His music sucks, his rpg sucks, and his YouTube channel was funny because of how fucking stupid it was.

If someone says Burzum is their favorite band, they're likely insufferable on so many levels that you can probably enrage them into a stroke by saying something like "Euronymous was right, Kraftwerk is great" (and they are) or "the Lords of Chaos movie is good" (it's whatever but is actually funny when portraying Varg as a chubby chaser).

Burzum can be good. It just has to be recorded on proper equipment rather than deliberately be made to sound like shit for kvlt value.

 

[Norwegian Trailer Trash]

Burzum can be good. It just has to be recorded on proper equipment rather than deliberately be made to sound like shit for kvlt value.

The intentional kvlt lofi bs didn't stop Darkthrone or Ulver from being great (and I'd say actually enhanced the recordings). It doesn't stop old delta blues that sound like you're listening to a pair of headphones stuck in a tin can from being moving. Burzum only exists and has credibility because of Varg's crimes (nothing like burning down historical landmarks and stabbing a Kraftwerk fan in the back while he's in his underwear to show what a true viking warrior you are) and his obnoxious political views that attract right wing equivalents of people who think politics/ideology make for quality music.

Also his RPG is shit. What if we make a thinly veiled racist jackfest made of all the grinding misery that sucks the life out of a role playing game? Tune in and find out!

 

[TVB]

GG Allin is more interesting to look up. His music is just decent to okay, but he has a person is more interesting. Sure, I could recommend a couple songs, but I recommend anyone reads his bio more.

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

In conclusion, fuck zoomers, fuck TikTok, and if you like the sound of Molchat Doma, but don't want the associated cancer, just listen to like ssshhhiiittt! or The End of Electronics or something. I even bought a hoodie I don't want to wear lol...

You know, it hadn't hit me, but everyone I've ever known that brought up Molchat Doma was a skank-ass hoe.

GG Allin is more interesting to look up. His music is just decent to okay, but he has a person is more interesting. Sure, I could recommend a couple songs, but I recommend anyone reads his bio more.

I think he's absolutely unlistenable. I file him in the comedy area of my brain with Anal Cunt. The story of GG Allin is way better than his music.

He was hilarious on Jerry Springer.

youtube.com/watch?v=btDnJ7T9FD4

This. Marilyn Manson has the least musical talent in proportion to his/their massive, massive msm overexposure of any other musical act ever. The best MM tracks are like the filler tracks you find near the end of any other band's worst album. If anybody thinks I'm joking, go listen to some MM tracks in 2023. I promise that it won't hit the same. You've heard 100 better tracks every single year since MM seemed good. Anybody who would pay to see MM live in 2023 still owns the censored edition CDs they bought at Walmart in 2001.

Agreed, there's not a single thing MM did better than anyone else, and I don't think his songs get played anymore because that shock value is nothing compared to what subsequent decades brought.

I have a kind of reverse red flag. If she doesn't find Anal Cunt entertaining we probably aren't going to get along.

I briefly dated a girl and I made her listen to Picnic of Love with me, but, see the "Molchat Doma" part of this post.

 

[TVB]

I think he's absolutely unlistenable. I file him in the comedy area of my brain with Anal Cunt. The story of GG Allin is way better than his music.

He was hilarious on Jerry Springer.

youtube.com/watch?v=btDnJ7T9FD4

Oh yes. He and Seth Putnam were hysterical. Also, I'll always remember GG being referenced in the Cleveland Show.

I'd say Passenger of Shit is also another instance of music being intentionally shit and are more into the comedy aesthetic similar to Burzum, GG Allin or Anal Cunt. I think most of breakcore is intentional shit, and a warning sign for those who aren't hoping to get into breakcore.

 

[The Heartthrob]

I don't really interact with other fans of the music I like. However I do remember hanging around some people that like 90s girl rock and I have to agree that it's a bit of a red flag depending on the band.

I like Hole, Jack Off Jill, Veruca Salt, still kinda like Bratmobile, Sleater-Kinney, Babes In Toyland, L7, etc. I hate Bikini Kill and Le Tigre but they fall into this category too. Almost all of the girls into them are nutty bitches like Courtney Love and Jessicka and/or spoiled bitches that complain about shit they've never experienced like Kathleen Hanna and Tobi Vail. The types that will get really haughty about feminism and get mad at you if you're not one by default and probably try to get you to do some weird shit on top of it.

I also tend to think anyone heavily into newer mainstream music should be avoided, but that's most likely just my age talking.