Old school spinsters - The old women in families that never married and never had kids

[Android raptor]

It might also be poor kids are just more likely to be honest about being LGBT. The world already hates them for being poor, why not add alphabet shit to the mix?

 

[gampboonerisms]

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Class values probably play a role in the "nurture" element of sexuality.

If I think about the highlighted values too much, I might throw up.

Probably inevitable that I ended up alone.

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

About ten years ago I met a woman who had recently left an order of nuns where she had dwelt for most of her adult life. She was quite open about being a lesbian, but she had decided to remain single and abstainate as a commitment to her God. I suspect that a great many old school spinsters were like this. Lesbians, or women who wanted to devote themselves to God without seclusion, or both.

Or an excuse to beat children.

My dad grew up around nuns and he said they wouldn't even think twice about slapping you with a wooden ruler or giving you spankings and shit like that.

 

[gampboonerisms]

Or an excuse to beat children.

My dad grew up around nuns and he said they wouldn't even think twice about slapping you with a wooden ruler or giving you spankings and shit like that.

That's the stereotype isn't?

 

[Fag Albert]

If you treat your kids like shit, what do you expect?

I've said it before on the farms, but I sure as fuck am not doing anything for my living parent when she gets old. I'm sure I'm not the only person here in that position either (I know I'm not the only farmer with an NPD ir otherwise fucked up parent). Kids don't ask to be born and if you choose to have them even though you can't take proper care of then, don't be surprised when you still end up dying alone.

I tend to ponder on this a lot as I've gotten to see both 'outcomes' from my grandmothers. Both outlived their husbands and lived alone in their houses. But one was always out, being an active force in her community, if people were going through some genuine hardships she would help either out of her own pocket or rallying people for it. When she started having problems doing stuff on her own, she always had a helping hand to the point where my parents and I were just a fraction of assistance. She died still staying in the same house she bought in the 60's, working a job she loved, and surrounded by a community that loved her.

The other was an awful old bitch that managed to scare off most anyone that'd wanna help her. She'd ended up basically becoming a shut-in and I'm not sure if people actually visit. I wouldn't be shocked if she ends up dying alone after everything's said and done.

They sound incredibly stereotypical after typing this all out. I will admit this won't apply everywhere because both are from what remains of "small town america". Both have taught me importance of earning people's goodwill, blood or not. Because sometimes you've spurned your own so bad that they would rather spend time and energy caring for their ex's mother than you.

 

[retard strength]

Straying OT but on much angrier parts of the web (and this site) I sometimes see "good luck dying alone and childless eggless dykes" tier-comments. It's needlessly dividing because we're going to have the same problem with men too. Childless bachelors (or tomcats as my grandparents called them, incels as we might come to know them) aging out of independent living. If there were sisters they historically would step up to help, but what if there aren't any or they can't/won't?

Maybe we should want to shift the expectation that assisted living/memory care is inevitably a hell on Earth abuse circus (in the U.S.), which I know is a big turbofucked task given how closely it is tied to our uberfucked healthcare.

Then again maybe I overworry about this problem given diabetes/heart failure/obesity/drinking problems potentially outpacing out the need.

 

[12(b)(6)]

It does feel like the stigma of choosing to be left alone has lessened since I was a child, but it is certainly still around. Maybe it's partly due to living below the Mason-Dixon Line around these 'good ol' southern values'. Married women with children are most commonly among those who ask about future plans in this way. They seem confounded that others don't choose to live life they way they live it. Men seem to just not care and/or are a bit envious of the freedom it allows.

I remember watching the movie Bridget Jone's Diary as a kid and fearing that I would feel a large amount of pressure to get married and have children as I hit my late twenties, not unlike the main character. However, I really haven't gotten that much. I think I've made my life intentions abundantly clear to my family since I was a child. I'm completely disinterested in children and marriage and would much rather die alone to be found a few months later, half-eaten by cats. Maybe I'll sign up for one of those invalid services that make you call in everyday to check that you're not dead yet.

As far as the finance situation, I have a far greater amount of disposable income than those of my married and childrearing friends. They do tend to work low wage jobs though since they haven't been able to continue their education, due to having a child and/or getting married at such a young age.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

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Class values probably play a role in the "nurture" element of sexuality.

Its often dissapointing how much stereotypes turn out to hold true

 

[Otterly]

I suppose it depends if it’s an active choice or a tragic event. I have a friend a little older than me who married and was widowed within months and has never remarried or had kids. She’s very active and has a full life but she has told me she wishes it had been different. I know women who desperately wanted kids and are now alone post menopause after their partner screwed them over and it was too late to have kids. That’s very sad.
And I know women who’ve never shown any interest in relationships and are happy and fine. It’s only sad if you wanted something else and it didn’t work out for you. Not all women want kids, not all women should be mothers.

I forget what it's really called, but the "aunt hypothesis" is the idea that - as you and @Crystal Coomer just said - non-breeding females increase the likelihood that babies born to a troupe or pack will survive into adulthood. E.g. Orca whales, wolves, etc.
I've even heard it posited this is the reason menopause exists: It prolongs the lives of females who are too old to breed but can still provide for and protect younger members of their family.
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Seychelles warblers are the classic bird model for this. Aunts and uncles raise the fitness of breeding pairs significantly, and pass on shared genes. The idea of altruism is a good example of evolution acting at the group level over the individual.

 

[CaseyTatumm]

If you treat your kids like shit, what do you expect?

I've said it before on the farms, but I sure as fuck am not doing anything for my living parent when she gets old. I'm sure I'm not the only person here in that position either (I know I'm not the only farmer with an NPD ir otherwise fucked up parent). Kids don't ask to be born and if you choose to have them even though you can't take proper care of then, don't be surprised when you still end up dying alone.

I feel this so much.

My mother is a miserable person who always made it clear she didn’t really want children and treated us like complete garbage. Of course now that she’s older, she doesn’t understand why her kids and grandkids don’t visit.

Most people crave a solid familial support system. If your children don’t want anything to do with you, odds are it’s something you did.

 

[Protistology]

Adult Virgin Men: Creepy murderers. Just troon out or kill yourselves.

Adult Virgin Women: Yaaas slay queen. Here, you dropped your crown.

Makes sense.

 

[Freshly Baked Socks]

What Virgo Rouge lacks in cats, she makes up for with spiritual significant others, and pure intense hatred for her married sister.

 

[retard strength]

Adult Virgin Men: Creepy murderers. Just troon out or kill yourselves.

Adult Virgin Women: Yaaas slay queen. Here, you dropped your crown.

Makes sense.

Doesn't seem like a universal thought on either side. Those of the same sex put more stigma/bullying on virginity than those of the opposite sex in my experience, both men and women.

 

[std::string]

Then again maybe I overworry about this problem given diabetes/heart failure/obesity/drinking problems potentially outpacing out the need.

We're just getting too damn good at keeping people alive.

Baby boomers getting Alzheimer's en masse is going to be the real test. This will pretty much crush Medicaid. Everyone sees it coming but nobody knows what to do about it.

 

[lurk_moar]

That will be Lurk_Moar in the future.

 

[NOT Satoshi Nakamoto]

There are a tremendous amount of old people getting led around around town by Mexicans now. I assume they're abusing them, stealing, and using their mailboxes to mail packages of fentanyl like in those Tik-Tok videos, but I don't know them so who cares? lol

Being rich but having absolutely no social credit or anybody who cares about you is the fate of all spinsters.

#GirlbossMoment

 

[NoReturn]

There are a tremendous amount of old people getting led around around town by Mexicans now. I assume they're abusing them, stealing, and using their mailboxes to mail packages of fentanyl like in those Tik-Tok videos, but I don't know them so who cares? lol

Being rich but having absolutely no social credit or anybody who cares about you is the fate of all spinsters.

#GirlbossMoment

Anyone who wants to make bank should go into elder law now the boomers are heading that way.

 

[Android raptor]

There are a tremendous amount of old people getting led around around town by Mexicans now. I assume they're abusing them, stealing, and using their mailboxes to mail packages of fentanyl like in those Tik-Tok videos, but I don't know them so who cares? lol

Being rich but having absolutely no social credit or anybody who cares about you is the fate of all spinsters.

#GirlbossMoment

Wasn't the fate of my spinster great-aunts, however it will be the fate of shitty parents whose kids cut contact

Reproducing doesn't guarentee not dying alone, if anything having kids solely because you expect them to be unpaid caregivers just makes it more likely you're getting dumped in a home (if that).

 

[Sperghetti]

Straying OT but on much angrier parts of the web (and this site) I sometimes see "good luck dying alone and childless eggless dykes" tier-comments. It's needlessly dividing because we're going to have the same problem with men too.

I said this in the lesbian thread, but there’s something that certain men seem to take personally about the existence of women who have no interest in being with men.

There’s a definite bitterness to those comments. They say you’ll be miserable, but it always seems to have this air of “I really hope you’ll be miserable because it would serve you right”. It’s different from the way women talk about incels.

Reproducing doesn't guarentee not dying alone, if anything having kids solely because you expect them to be unpaid caregivers just makes it more likely you're getting dumped in a home (if that).

And it’s no wonder, because that’s usually part of a wider view of relationships as just being a series of transactions: “I did X for you, so now you owe me Y.”

Nobody likes people like that because everything “nice” they do is just a debt to be repaid at a later date, even if that “nice” thing is something nobody asked them to do in the first place.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Wasn't the fate of my spinster great-aunts, however it will be the fate of shitty parents whose kids cut contact

Reproducing doesn't guarentee not dying alone, if anything having kids solely because you expect them to be unpaid caregivers just makes it more likely you're getting dumped in a home (if that).

the economic reality is very rough. Ironically lots of people my age can't start their own family because their finances are tied to taking care of elders. Not something thats even talked about often.