I got a girlfriend... what now?

[gamerweeb1]

So somehow... against all odds... I, gamerweeb1, now have a real, physical, tangible girlfriend.

What do I do now??? I wasn't prepared for this.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Does she know? If not, you're still good.

 

[BirdUp]

kill her

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

Fuck her right in the pussy

 

[CuzinEd]

If you are a virgin don't worry about it. Most humans come with the ability to have sex built in. It's like instinctual. You should have an idea of what to do in that situation. Hopefully for your sake she isn't a virgin so at least someone knows what they are doing. It's your first girlfriend she probably won't be with you long anyway. If you are a basement dweller she will probably get sick of your broke ass pretty quick and dump you.

Just take it slow and use it as a learning experience.

 

[Not a bee]

can i borrow her

 

[Executive Petrel]

Pump and dump her, it's simply not worth it.

 

[Shadfan666xxx000]

Just chill out. A good girlfriend is basically like a pet that you keep around. Remember: assert dominance, reinforce good behaviors and dont feed after midnight. If shes really happy with you then you can even dress her up in your preferred style.

 

[Hüftpriester]

Get ready to watch a lot of terrible shit on netflix and keep your cool.

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

You don't have sex until you are married or at the very least engaged.

 

[the clap]

Pee in her butt

 

[Slur Generator]

Don't be retarded but also don't be so afraid of losing her that you just do whatever she wants. She will inevitably try to push some boundaries, its human nature, and if you allow too much its over. None likes a doormat, especially women.

 

[gamerweeb1]

Does she know? If not, you're still good.

Know WHAT???

 

[Schwarzwald]

Take great care of her and be a good man.

If she doesn't take care of you well in return, get rid of her and find a girl who will.

 

[draggs]

Belittle her constantly, make her emotionally dependent on your approval

 

[JethroTullamore]

Shit on her chest.

 

[Kill a Troon for Pikamee]

Get another one. Real life is like Evenicle. When you have enough girlfriends you can also make them fight against other people's girlfriends like you're a pokemon trainer

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

Push her titty and make a doorbell sound.

 

[NOT Satoshi Nakamoto]

Collect a DNA sample and send it to the lab for genotyping. If there are no issues, knock her up.

 

[Anonitolia]

immediately discuss your nerdiest, most niche interests with her
if she starts tuning out, dump her