The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Procopius]

Some Patreon videos

Not only does Kevin have a different definition of hot from 99% of humanity, he also has a different definition of green:

https://twitter.com/TransSalamander/status/1668756655302119425

https://archive.is/BYdKt

 

[Cuckoman]

Amazing those latest pictures. They have only been at the new place for a month or two and they have already turned the backyard into a lunar moonscape.
Which is pretty impressive considering the new place is in what looks like a very fertile area where grass should be growing like crazy now in early summer.

I also notice that it looks like goats are missing. Have they already managed to kill some animals off? Have the animals already started dying off. Lol, have they started making massgraves at the new place too now? hahaha

How can you mismanage land and farm animals this bad.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

How can you mismanage land and farm animals this bad.

That's an easy question to answer: they're lazy, moronic troons. It doesn't help that their supporters are city slickers who have no idea that the Tranchers are morons with no clue how to farm.

I don't think they'll be eating for much longer, Kevin.

 

[AnOminous]

How can you mismanage land and farm animals this bad.

Step 1: be a troon

Now everything you do will lead to the absolute destruction of everything you're allowed to touch.

Troons are pure cancer.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

How can you mismanage land and farm animals this bad.

Disaster comes easy to lazy men who refuse to even think about what they could do better.

 

[Asian tech support]

Not only does Kevin have a different definition of hot from 99% of humanity, he also has a different definition of green:
View attachment 5162845

He does himself a disservice by having OG tranch photos on the patreon. If he was smart, he'd get rid of every moonscape photo, even the new ones. What I can't get over is how it would seem that Phil's parents place has enough land for the 10(?) alpaca plus the goats but these defective manchildren still somehow fuck up even ideal situations.

 

[Cuckoman]

He does himself a disservice by having OG tranch photos on the patreon. If he was smart, he'd get rid of every moonscape photo, even the new ones. What I can't get over is how it would seem that Phil's parents place has enough land for the 10(?) alpaca plus the goats but these defective manchildren still somehow fuck up even ideal situations.

Maybe an idea for a steam game. You play as a competent landscaper/farmer working at the troon farm.
Your job is to try to undo or find solutions for all the disasters that the troons create. The game ends when all animals are dead and the farm is just one single apollo moonlanding site.

It would be like the very first versions of SimCity when you activated the disaster mode. A never ending string of natural disasters hitting your city. Volcanoes in the city centre, earthquake, nuclear plant blowing up, massive fires, sometimes they all happen at the same time.

With some care and effort it might actually become a quite fun and challenging steam game.

"Oi Mate, I got a new personal record in 'TroonFarm' last night. I got the animals to survive for 7 months!"

 

[glass_houses]

He does himself a disservice by having OG tranch photos on the patreon. If he was smart, he'd get rid of every moonscape photo, even the new ones. What I can't get over is how it would seem that Phil's parents place has enough land for the 10(?) alpaca plus the goats but these defective manchildren still somehow fuck up even ideal situations.

The thing with animal hoarders is that they are fucking hopeless when it comes to taking care of animals. You give a hoarder an animal, an unlimited supply of food and a perfect space designed specifically for said animal, and within a week it'll all be going pear shaped. Animal hoarders aren't terrible at taking care of animals because they have too many animals, they have too many animals because they're shit at taking care of them. As an added bonus, like most 'communists' and 'socialists', Pennywise has absolute contempt for the concept of value when it comes to other people's property, and will actively set out to destroy anything he's lent or given by others, both because of sheer cruelty and jealousy, and because like any other narc with the mental age of ten he doesn't grasp that these assets come about through hard work and careful investment, they don't just magically appear to anyone with the right sort of 'privilege'.

Pennywise is exactly the type of individual who'd set fire to the village grainery to teach the bigots a lesson, and then throw a massive tantie when his bread ration gets cut. He's exactly the type of individual that leaves plastic straps in the goat's feed, watches the goat die slowly in excruciating pain when the straps wreck its intestines because he can't afford a vet, and then goes out and buys three more goats and gives them the exact same feed and conditions.

 

[AssignedEva]

He does himself a disservice by having OG tranch photos on the patreon. If he was smart, he'd get rid of every moonscape photo, even the new ones. What I can't get over is how it would seem that Phil's parents place has enough land for the 10(?) alpaca plus the goats but these defective manchildren still somehow fuck up even ideal situations.

I think Kiwis with experience with animal husbandry pointed towards it being overstocked when they moved in. Although the new location seems a bit lusher than the Tranch ever was, it's still in the foothills of the Rockies amid semi-arid scrubland;

so the amount of animals that can be supported by acre is going to be lower, plus they continually fuck up with feeding the animals and wasting hay, so they're probably grazing more.
So even if that sized parcel of land could support all those alpaca and goats (which it probably couldn't), it's unlikely that particular parcel of land ever could. Normally you picture a little homestead like that having a goat and some chickens rather than a herd of alpaca and a herd of goats. Ironically the Tranch might have had enough land to support this sized herd (although again, given how poor the land is, probably not).

 

[stupid frog]

What I can't get over is how it would seem that Phil's parents place has enough land for the 10(?) alpaca plus the goats

If someone who knows more does the math, I'm sure that's not the case.

 

[Oxyjen]

I think Kiwis with experience with animal husbandry pointed towards it being overstocked when they moved in. Although the new location seems a bit lusher than the Tranch ever was, it's still in the foothills of the Rockies amid semi-arid scrubland;

While this is true, 2023 is also the wettest year in decades in this area, everywhere is incredibly lush, even lots that are normally baked earth are full of grass and flowers.
Except at Nu-Tranch of course, where the hungry animals grub out the smallest root or leaf as soon as it appears.

It’s also hilarious that J claims he can’t find work as a landscaper - any bum than can walk behind a mower will be making money every daylight hour right now.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

So even if that sized parcel of land could support all those alpaca and goats (which it probably couldn't), it's unlikely that particular parcel of land ever could. Normally you picture a little homestead like that having a goat and some chickens rather than a herd of alpaca and a herd of goats. Ironically the Tranch might have had enough land to support this sized herd (although again, given how poor the land is, probably not).

The Tranchers had a Dionysian vision of them living in some commune, surrounded by cute animals, and every so often venturing off to bash the fash. That reality would get in the way never occurred to them. It's not like they had an excuse; we know they lurked here, read our musings, and took our advice on occasion (when it was absolutely necessary.)

Of course, I'm armchair analyzing the minds of men so stupid they think they pass as women. I have no clue what they were thinking.

 

[Temperance]

More Patreon videos:

Spoiler: Vids - still boring

Lol @ the glimpses of the old pasture:


I don't think it's a coincidence anymore. Once again, I only saw three goats in these videos - the black adult and two white babies.

I took a closer look at the videos, and I think some of the alpacas are gone as well. I'm counting 6 alpacas, 3 goats, and 1 sheep.
For reference, they arrived at Penny's family home with 10 alpacas, 5 goats, and 1 sheep. Jen even confirmed this in an interview. Then two of the white goats gave birth to two kids each, putting the goat total at 9.
So... there are seemingly 4 alpacas and 6 goats missing.
Doubt they all suddenly died, so maybe they were just sold or given away. I'm hoping Penny gave them away after realizing that the herd size was unsustainable for his 5-acre property. He was too stupid & lazy to google this information and do some basic math beforehand, but he surely must have realized the problem after seeing the previous pasture turn into a moonscape in just ~2 months.

Btw, the black goat is named Baphomet. She's the mother of Ranon (aka Ranin), who was the Tranchers' favorite goat. They've both been mentioned in this thread before. Well, Ranon is gone now...
Also, Baphomet is NOT the mother of the two white babies that are still there. The white mother goats are missing. Strange choices on which goats to keep and which to get rid of...

Now that I think about it, I don't think I've seen or heard any dogs in any of the Patreon videos I've watched. There were a bunch of dogs at the old Tranch... two cattledogs and like 4-6 of the big white guardian dogs. Where are they now? I really doubt they're all being kept in the house. Why are ~evil~ Kiwifarmers the only ones noticing this and asking questions?

 

[S.C.U.D.]

I'm hoping Penny gave them away after realizing that the herd size was unsustainable for his 5-acre property. He was too stupid & lazy to google this information and do some basic math beforehand, but he surely must have realized the problem after seeing the previous pasture turn into a moonscape in just ~2 months.

Doubtful, given he never realized that at the old tranch.

 

[Oxyjen]

The white mother goats are missing. Strange choices on which goats to keep and which to get rid of.

I think Penny might be getting kept on quite a short leash. Forbidden to turn the entire grounds into a moonscape (the animals are on a really tiny fenced patch of the property). Get the herd down to a manageable token couple of pets by giving away any that people will take. Do *not* erect any shitty haphazard fences and structures. No dogs or cats in the house.

I suspect when they let the animals out to the long grass someone had to physically stand there to keep them from wandering onto the road and neighbours gardens..

 

[SlaanyChaser]

Do we know who the partner FedJ mentioned is? I don't remember anything from his tranch days and I don't remember him mentioning it before.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

I think Penny might be getting kept on quite a short leash. Forbidden to turn the entire grounds into a moonscape (the animals are on a really tiny fenced patch of the property). Get the herd down to a manageable token couple of pets by giving away any that people will take. Do *not* erect any shitty haphazard fences and structures. No dogs or cats in the house.

I suspect when they let the animals out to the long grass someone had to physically stand there to keep them from wandering onto the road and neighbours gardens..

Bless, but at least one of his parents have dementia. He's just found someone new to take advantage of, so Penny will just continue to hoard animals, useless shit and autistic manchildren who think they're women. All we can do is point and laugh.

 

[AssignedEva]

Do we know who the partner FedJ mentioned is? I don't remember anything from his tranch days and I don't remember him mentioning it before.

Yeah, we dug into him a few pages ago, like page 1075. Someone who'd visited the Tranch last August; Jarrod seemingly took up with him during or shortly after the last days of the Tranch; an absolute state of a human being who's got BPD, claims to be a "plural system", larps as a dog to the point of barking out loud, lived in a trans girl polycule that eventually kicked him out so now he parasites of Jarrod, claims to be disabled with seizures and migranes and self harms a lot etc. etc.

Basically a low-rent less interesting trans version of Kindness.

 

[pwnest injun]

I'm really impressed that the animals haven't all died yet. No cap.

 

[Oxyjen]

I'm really impressed that the animals haven't all died yet. No cap.

There’s about 4 left out of 300, things are going well.