DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[JimiHendrix]

phil has gone viral once again for his inability to solve a puzzle when compared to some V-tuber.

in entirely unrelated news, phil has cancelled tonight's zelda stream for more street fighter 6.

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Here's the link to the actual tweet. It's great.
https://twitter.com/kowkarot5/status/1670233427776360450

 

[Corpun]

But for some reason, DSP is sympathizing with Ian Jomha as far as to how tired he is from trying to not want to go back to his old past:

Which is hilarious because he doesn't understand Ian alienated everyone first by calling everyone else cucks, then by standing by his wife and her boyfriend and denouncing all his content and his old fans and basically telling them to fuck off as if it's nothing.

You just know that DSP will watch some AVGN documentary and go ahead and claim he inspired James Rolfe's Nerd character and use it to go on a rant about not selling out and how he is authentic and Rolfe isn't. Just ignore the fact James Rolfe has an actual wife and family and is a successful man.

Here's the link to the actual tweet. It's great.
https://twitter.com/kowkarot5/status/1670233427776360450

IQ has to be 80 tops. No problem-solving skills, no ability to understand and answer hypotheticals, and no common sense.

EDIT: Screenshotted for posterity Link

 

[BlackDragoons]

Here's the link to the actual tweet. It's great.
https://twitter.com/kowkarot5/status/1670233427776360450

DSP has 0 problem solving skils, and honestly I wouldn't fucking care but he blames the game for his inability to fucking adapt to games.

 

[Cyber Bowling]

DSP has 0 problem solving skils, and honestly I wouldn't fucking care but he blames the game for his inability to fucking adapt to games.

Just to add, it isn't only games where DSP has 0 problem solving skills. His condo is a clear example of that. He can't figure out how to put up new blinds, he's had a broken bathroom for how many years now? Not to mention the lack of cleaning and mess of wires. Now, some of that could be attributed to laziness, which, sure, that's part of it. But a glance at the things he does try and actually do really show ineptitude, like trying to hang everything up with velcro. Even going back to his early days, his struggle to adapt to not just pointing a camcorder at the screen, his refusal to learn to edit, needing viewers to help with his streaming setup, getting into arguments with customer service bots etc.

 

[Lei Wulong's Left Leg]

Been catching up a bit with Goutroach's SF6 streams and I think I've cracked the code as to why Phil's so bad:

1. Phil ALWAYS presses on wakeup.
   It doesn't matter how far away his opponent is, he is constantly pressing when his opponent has the advantage. I barely even play fighting games, and I can see that coming, for fuck's sake.
   
   
2. Phil wastes his bar non-stop.
   Rather than taking any sense of care with his OD/EX moves, Phil will spam the shit out of those moves. Pretty simple, really.
   
   
3. Phil doesn't seem to understand frame data.
   For those lacking any fighting game knowledge, frame data is mostly two things - How long it takes for the move to deal damage in frames per second, known as startup frames, and how many frames you and the other person have before the move they do actually starts, known as frame advantage[E.G. if Phil is -6 on block, that means that he has 6 frames where he won't be able to do anything but wait for his next action, be it blahcking, dood i was doing a move, etc. ]. There's plenty of times where you can hear phil banging his trotters on the gamepad after a disadvantageous move, unaware that he's setting himself up for an immediate counterhit combo.
   And, finally...
   
   
4. Phil mashes.
   Every time you hear say "I WAS DOING[insert move here]!!!", it means that somehow he managed to fuck up a series of inputs that has progressively become easier and easier to do properly across 6 games. That's not normal levels of retardation, kiwis n' germs. That's Advanced retardation.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Funniest stream in a long while. 2 hours of him getting smacked around like Tracee from the Sopranos, low tips until JaxxCuxxor dropped 150 near the end of the stream... but then he went overtime for 45 minutes because his ego was so fucking shattered that he had to end the night on a W, then finally on the 9th or 10th set (lost count) he finally gets a win and quits to dashboard... but wait, there's more! He then launches on a 10 minute cope rant about how he couldn't do nuffin and how the character he played at the time has no tools and every other character has tools. Then he ends his pathetic performance with a sadboye rant about how Comcast FUCKED HIM so he has TONS OF WORK TO DO like upload the reacks and Level 1 Copecast from 2 days ago, then he has to record a Daily Crap, then he has to wake up early tomorrow! 10:30am he's up with the roosters dood! His life is tuff!

 

[Fascist Frederick]

DSP has 0 problem solving skils, and honestly I wouldn't fucking care but he blames the game for his inability to fucking adapt to games.

If you have puzzle problems I feel bad for you son,
Phil's got 99 problems but solving ain't one.

 

[Corpun]

Just to add, it isn't only games where DSP has 0 problem solving skills. His condo is a clear example of that. He can't figure out how to put up new blinds, he's had a broken bathroom for how many years now? Not to mention the lack of cleaning and mess of wires. Now, some of that could be attributed to laziness, which, sure, that's part of it. But a glance at the things he does try and actually do really show ineptitude, like trying to hang everything up with velcro. Even going back to his early days, his struggle to adapt to not just pointing a camcorder at the screen, his refusal to learn to edit, needing viewers to help with his streaming setup, getting into arguments with customer service bots etc.

I'm genuinely shocked he can even dress himself and allgedly bathe once in a blue moon.

 

[Wasabi Panda]

watched a VB clip of his Sim matches and...

He LITERALLY has no idea how the drive system works. He spams OD moves then wonders why he's in burn out. Says there's no way to counter DI except.

- 3 fast hits break armor (Lighting legs, 100 hands, Yoga Flame, Kimberly's jab etc)
- supers with an invincible start up
- OD's with invincible Start Up and multiple hits
- Specials with super armor
- block
- Jump
- Counter DI
- Throw
- Parry

He also doesn't understand what "locked" means...it's in the game's tutorial. Doesn't get that if a normal can cancel into a special it can cancel into a DI, but only when it happens to him not when he does it.

Gets told to block high for an over head "huh, what do you mean? I don't know what that means". Doesn't know what a hit string is, what meaty is, what frame data is..

Between this and zelda with the lack of problem solving skills he's a barely functioning retard...barely...like I think khet wipes his ass for him

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

So his big return after Comcast cost him hundreds of dollars in lost revenue, and he is still almost entirely dependant on 2 of the 3 people keeping him from financial ruin. Does 1MM still show up now GT has taken on the daily tithe duites?

 

[Gramh]

Between this and zelda with the lack of problem solving skills he's a barely functioning retard.

But dude they just throw out random moves and mashing jab in lag knowing he can't react to them and the game won't give him his moves, there's nothing he could do Dhalsim is just a low tier character with no tools =(

 

[Wasabi Panda]

But dude they just throw out random moves and mashing jab in lag knowing he can't react to them and the game won't give him his moves, there's nothing he could do Dhalsim is just a low tier character with no tools =(

Watching AT and the random moves excuse made me laugh, he sits here and cries about a manon constantly stuffing his slide by mashing random moves and they keep doing it.... doob she should stop stuffing the move I keep doing and let me do it ok? alright.

Then this...

holy shit you retard, "what am I supposed to do?" I dunno, after the second hit FUCKING BLOCK! Jesus. This isn't the first time this EXACT thing happens. This EXACT thing happens again...wow... he's..yeah.

I can't wait till he faces a manon that goes right for building 5 stocks and knows pirouette has projectile i-frames. He might have a stroke live on stream

That being said, I would argue, this is my new favorite DSP sound clip.

 

[Lord_Point]

Here's the link to the actual tweet. It's great.
https://twitter.com/kowkarot5/status/1670233427776360450

I dont know how anyone doesn't instantly solve that puzzle. There are literally only two parts. A car and a plow style item (an item they never give you in any other shrines) The only possible solution is the plow goes on the car. Done. The V-tuber, like all v tubers, seemed like a massive retard and he still out performed phil.


I also like how he sperged out about comcast being a billion dollar industry and not having any redundancy. Phil solves another crisis by just saying "build more redudency!" How is this man not CEO of America yet? Supply chain crisis? Just built more freight liners! Not enough microchips? Build a second microchip facility that you will only use in the event of a global pandemic! Internet down for more then 9 hours? Just build a second internet, jsut in case!

 

[San Dimas High School]

I dont know how anyone doesn't instantly solve that puzzle. There are literally only two parts. A car and a plow style item (an item they never give you in any other shrines) The only possible solution is the plow goes on the car. Done. The V-tuber, like all v tubers, seemed like a massive retard and he still out performed phil.


I also like how he sperged out about comcast being a billion dollar industry and not having any redundancy. Phil solves another crisis by just saying "build more redudency!" How is this man not CEO of America yet? Supply chain crisis? Just built more freight liners! Not enough microchips? Build a second microchip facility that you will only use in the event of a global pandemic! Internet down for more then 9 hours? Just build a second internet, jsut in case!

Begs the question why he didn't choose redundancy himself. What's the point of using the same provider for your backup? Might as well just buy a second modem and leave it in the closet in case the first one breaks during a stream at that point, saving yourself the monthly fee.

 

[Dona Morte]

 

[Twrx]

Does he not understand the word "Estimated"? I mean he probably doesn't because he doesn't know how to pronounce the most simple of words.

 

[Comma]

If him DEMANDING an instant explanation from Comcast about why his internet is offline while he's aware of the fact that literally 9,000+ other connections are affected isn't a telltale sign of his crippling narcissism, I don't know what else is.

This man is literally mentally ill and irredeemable.

 

[Vic Viper T301]

Phil doesn't know how to pronounce the word 'archipelago.' There was a location on the Zelda map with it today and read it out as "arc-i-pa-la-go." A search on PigPigGo reveals he has been pronouncing the word incorrectly since at least 2012.

 

[Corpun]

This karen spergout was less bad than I was expecting but still atrocious. Retard doesn't understand Comcast has literally millions of customers, needs to act like there is nothing he can do about his shitty 5g service, and demands companies deal with him on a personal level as usual.

Go ahead and threaten to never do business with Comcast again Phil, Burger King made you CEO when you made that threat last time didn't they?

At least we get this autistic random claim about him in contact with his neighbors (Massive X). You just know he waddled over and asked them angrily about the internet if he spoke to them at all and isn't trying to get rid of paranoid hermit rumors.