Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 790 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,389
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Jack is blogging again and he just wants to be an okay guy. It's not that people want you to die Jack, it's that all this was brought on by yourself and was totally preventable with diet and exercise. All this has happened and your habits are the same. Your "angel wife" and family apparently aren't enough to inspire real change in you so how am I supposed to think you're an "okay guy"?
 
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Jack is blogging again and he just wants to be an okay guy. It's not that people want you to die Jack, it's that all this was brought on by yourself and was totally preventable with diet and exercise. All this has happened and your habits are the same. Your "angel wife" and family apparently aren't enough to inspire real change in you so how am I supposed to think you're an "okay guy"?
He knows his mom died from multiple strokes, started dealing with this shit over 20 years ago, and has put zero... fuck that NEGATIVE effort into maintaining anything resembling a healthy lifestyle, while in fact living probably the worst he could for his cardiovascular health all the while telling everyone else they're wrong and how they should live their lives as he screeches at minimum wage service industry employees over the most inane shit.

Yeah Fatty, if there is a god he doesn't want you to die because he's not done laughing at your stupid ass yet.
 
Archives, medium quality.

Jack thinks back to the before time when he could hold a baking tray with two hands. The effect of vanilla pudding in cookies intrigues Jack, but not enough to actually tell us what it is. Investigating it further, Jack isn't clear on types of vanilla while hiding behind a wall of ingredients.

The wall crumbles and Jack mixes the ingredients. I choose to believe Jack does this by magic.

Ah, no, that's just Tammy. Jack stands awkwardly in frame to remind you his estate hasn't inherited the show yet. Jack grabs the hand mixer but cuts away. I choose to believe Jack needed a change of shirt after this.

Jack pretends he still has a sense of smell, then pretends he still has a sense of taste. It's amazin' and he can't hide his excitement.
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@Kermit Jizz I gotchu

Jack continues his trip around the world by visiting another strip mall. Jack helpfully informs us that he is looking at a menu. What a menu, indeed. Marvel at the prices. With Tammy's help, Jack correctly identifies all the plates except for the white rice. Don't feel bad, Jack, it's not a common sight at a Chinese place.

Jack gets a little too intimate with his orange chicken despite it being "piping hot", including some tongue action. Jack, you can't do that in public! (Despite the preface it's "pretty good".) Jack mumbles incoherently and drops another time-tested witticism: "if the orange chicken is good the whole place is good". Hmmm...

Jack gets real close to us instead and shouts the praises of this strip mall Chinese. It's gud great, really great!! A+. Best place ever near a Pizza Hut.
 
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Jack is blogging again and he just wants to be an okay guy. It's not that people want you to die Jack, it's that all this was brought on by yourself and was totally preventable with diet and exercise. All this has happened and your habits are the same. Your "angel wife" and family apparently aren't enough to inspire real change in you so how am I supposed to think you're an "okay guy"?
There are more comments on his YT videos of people wanting him to eat better and diet because they don't want him dying/having a fifth stroke than there are people wanting him to die. But I guess you can't be a good attention whore on the internet if you also talk about the positive posts.
 
There are more comments on his YT videos of people wanting him to eat better and diet because they don't want him dying/having a fifth stroke than there are people wanting him to die. But I guess you can't be a good attention whore on the internet if you also talk about the positive posts.
That's Jack, ignore the ass-kissers and petulantly whine about the trolls.
 
There are more comments on his YT videos of people wanting him to eat better and diet because they don't want him dying/having a fifth stroke than there are people wanting him to die. But I guess you can't be a good attention whore on the internet if you also talk about the positive posts.
Part of me would find humor in Jack being semi self aware that he knows hes fucked and projects that through his messages. However I remember he has always been a fucking brain dead moron and always was a massive sensitive bitch. He has never truly been in the "limelight"

I would assume he just reads comments (if he does now) and just kind of goes "gud" to anything barely kissing his ass and throwing a tantrum to anything barely critical of him. His comments and replies on his FB are a pretty good sign of it, with him going into tard rage in replies and just going "k" or "gud" to positive ones. So either hes reading through them barely comprehending what is being said or someone is telling him the shit, either way hes oblivious to how fucked he is. When you know your family has a history of strokes, suffered enough to kill a family of 3 and still are oblivious to the warning signs you are fucked.

"GOD is not done with me yet" You got that right fatso, hes proping you up as entertainment and a lesson for the rest of us who can understand and appreciate how good life is and how not to squander it off the good fortune that comes its way for shitty food.
 
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Jack has it all backwards. He wants to see himself die from a stroke. As far as I know us here on kiwifarms have questioned his diet choices for years. We merely mocked him when he lacked the discipline to lose weight on his Profile by Sanford program. We laugh when he had his stroke in 2018 and blamed it on drinking coffee, then the next few days admitted to still drinking energy drinks. He said himself he was eating a muffin when he had his 2023 stroke. So what does he do after? Immediately orders takeout from from Firehouse Subs.
Jack is his own worst enemy who wants to shift the blame. He refuses to take responsibility for his sedentary lifestyle and sodium/saturated fat laden diet and recipes.
 
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Jack is blogging again and he just wants to be an okay guy. It's not that people want you to die Jack, it's that all this was brought on by yourself and was totally preventable with diet and exercise. All this has happened and your habits are the same. Your "angel wife" and family apparently aren't enough to inspire real change in you so how am I supposed to think you're an "okay guy"?

Jack has provided us with an updated Stroke count. I'm assuming by TOA he means TIA. He is saying he had a TIA in 1999 at the ripe age of 32. Maybe his brain is so messed up now that he is thinking his 2011 TIA ( in Las Vegas ) was actually in 1999? Or he really could have started stroking out at 32; either is a possibility. It's interesting to note that Jack still does not realize that the 2008 incident was also a TIA. For those who don't know, that was when he presented to the hospital with right sided weakness and numbness and had a bitchfit in the hospital, refused labs and advanced imaging and waddled out of the hospital so he could sleep in his own bed. Only a true smoothbrain like Jagoff would document that event on his personal blog and then ever fit that piece into his stroke history.

TL: DR
Updated stroke count is 5. 3 TIAs (1999, 2008 and 2011) and 2 major strokes aka CVAs (2018, 2023)
 
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Jack is blogging again and he just wants to be an okay guy. It's not that people want you to die Jack, it's that all this was brought on by yourself and was totally preventable with diet and exercise. All this has happened and your habits are the same. Your "angel wife" and family apparently aren't enough to inspire real change in you so how am I supposed to think you're an "okay guy"?
The narcissism of types like Jack somehow never fails to surprise me. He somehow thinks trolls and shitposters are invested in his demise, but in reality they're little more than rubberneckers. Truth is, no one really gives a shit about Jack. Despite being one of the oldest and most well-known lolcows, he doesn't have alogs and never has to my knowledge. He doesn't even have any archival channels like a lot of smaller lolcows do, the only people who bother talking about him are grifters like AugustTheQuack looking for a quick easy buck.

It's fun to post things like "die fatty die", but in reality when he finally croaks I'm going to be more sad about losing the posters who come to the farms only for Jack than I am happy Jack is dead. Hell, during his stint in the hospital I already transitioned onto KingCobraJFS as my primary cow. With how weak his content has been since the return my interest hasn't come back either. His lolcow career has gone down the same path as his youtube career. A slow pathetic decline in obscurity entirely caused by his own unwillingness to change or grow. And when he finally kicks the KFC bucket it won't be some magnanimous event people celebrate. It'll get some attention for a week, there will be a happening post on the farms, a couple /ck/ threads posting the same old webms (because no one has bothered to watch him in years), and that'll be it. He'll be completely forgotten within a year, because no cares enough about Jack to hate him let alone remember him.
 
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TOR is too shit for me to archive, send help frens.

Got to love how Jack is impressed by everything that is normally considered bad in a restaurant.
Gigantic menu = GUD
Food coming out within 2 minutes of ordering = GUD
Piping hot food that's clearly been microwaved = GUD

We also got a new bit of sage restaurant wisdom. Mexican restaurants quality comes from salsa, Chinese restaurant quality comes from orange chicken. You can tell how good they are by the quality of their entrée, imagine that.
A huge menu is a sign of a bad restaurant as they're trying to cover too many bases. I can understand a place like this having an extensive menu as half the items are whatever this dish is plus your choice of beef, chicken, pork or shrimp in it. That's four different menu items for essentially the same thing. Jagoff just looks it at as having a big choice over what to gorge himself on.

It comes out quickly meaning it was already ready and just warmed up. Not something I'd consider to be a good sign. In other words it's not made fresh and it's probably set up on a steam table in the back, mixed with the protein and sent out.

The quality of a Chinese restaurant is not their Orange Chicken but how many Chinese people you see eating there.

And finally those boneless ribs looked vile.

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Jack is blogging again and he just wants to be an okay guy. It's not that people want you to die Jack, it's that all this was brought on by yourself and was totally preventable with diet and exercise. All this has happened and your habits are the same. Your "angel wife" and family apparently aren't enough to inspire real change in you so how am I supposed to think you're an "okay guy"?
What kind of idiot, after having his first stroke, doesn't turn his life around and do everything in his power not to have a second one? He's had FIVE of them so far. Plus multiple health issues like kidney stones and each and every time it's something that is outside of his power. Like blaming energy drinks yet he'd have been jittery and even had a rapid heart beat before a stroke from those. Or blaming the water there for his multiple kidney stones yet Hendersonville isn't a hotbed for kidney stones nor is the state of Tennessee. North Carolina is however.

In short he can't take personal responsibility for his many many mistakes over the years. And honestly I would think most people that laugh at him have better lives. I mean we're able to use both hands and don't subsist on fast food.
 
A huge menu is a sign of a bad restaurant as they're trying to cover too many bases. I can understand a place like this having an extensive menu as half the items are whatever this dish is plus your choice of beef, chicken, pork or shrimp in it. That's four different menu items for essentially the same thing. Jagoff just looks it at as having a big choice over what to gorge himself on.
That, and it's funny Jack is so impressed by the menu when it's literally the same as just about every other strip mall Chinese place he's ever been to. Hell, it looks identical to at least three places near me. Also how impressed they were with how quickly their food arrived, like they expected each dish to be carefully made to order, and not already be laid out buffet style in the back ready to scoop, nuke, and serve. For someone claiming to know a lot about food and restaurants, he knows Jack shit.
 
New cooking with Jack just dropped
Because dessert is what he really needs to top all this off.

The narcissism of types like Jack somehow never fails to surprise me. He somehow thinks trolls and shitposters are invested in his demise, but in reality they're little more than rubberneckers.
There's a few folks floating around who well and truly want him to die, but there's always a few assholes out there. What I want to know is how Kiwifarms still has him malding - Jack has practically no long term memory or consideration at this point, and we've been darkweb for a while now. Did he send Junior to figure out how to use Tor? Or are we well and truly rent free in his head? Perhaps there's people in his life saying to his face "I wish you'd just die".
 
Did he send Junior to figure out how to use Tor? Or are we well and truly rent free in his head?

I believe we own a sizable mansion and accompanying environs, including a pool area, fully equipped gym, and a garden for Josh's banana peppers. The fact that we have to share it with /ck/ shitposters is just a minor nuisance.

Junior (Male) is an idiot like his dad and a terminal normie; at most, he tried something like Downdetector after running into the clearnet DNS error. If most farmers can't figure out how to install Brave and open a private TOR window, I doubt anyone in that household (with the possible exception of Brianna) will get as far as finding the .onion URL, let alone reach the KF homepage.
 
Big news? Jack seems to say that this new house is actually Jack Jr's, and that he + Tammy are building their own house. Though of course he chooses not to reveal any details.

Who the fuck is he trying to bullshit? I don't care where you live, having a job scrubbing shitters ain't going to buy you a house. Maybe a trailer home on a mortgage, but you still don't own it until it's paid in full.
 
Who the fuck is he trying to bullshit? I don't care where you live, having a job scrubbing shitters ain't going to buy you a house. Maybe a trailer home on a mortgage, but you still don't own it until it's paid in full.
I know people who made six figures in septic tanks though. That’s some genuinely nasty ass work though.
 
I know people who made six figures in septic tanks though. That’s some genuinely nasty ass work though.
Didn't Jr get hooked up with some decently solid work that he bombed out of to go work in a gas station instead? He's a useless piece of shit just like his dad. Not a chance in hell you'd find him doing any "dirty jobs" - those are the jobs that bring in the big money specifically because people like Jr don't want to do them.
 
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