Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Gentlebastard]

Didn't Jr get hooked up with some decently solid work that he bombed out of to go work in a gas station instead?

Jr had gotten a nice, cushy, nepotistic job in the HVAC industry, courtesy of his grandpa. He decided to throw it away to be a 7-11 manager.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

New cooking with Jack just dropped

Pissbaby Jagoff has again gone the route of disabling thumbs down even though Jewtube has hidden these from people. Unless you know the right extensions to get that is. Looks like he hasn't learned how this hurts his channel metrics.

And this hurts me because lemon pie, especially if it's meringue, is one of my favorite desserts. He uses fucking reconstituted lemon juice of all things and cream cheese. The evaporated milk I can get behind because of key lime pie. That's how the original one is made. Evaporated milk, lime juice, lime zest, sugar and egg yolks. But that reconstituted juice in a pie? Barf.

The true lazy man's pie involves pudding or (shudder) canned pie filling in premade crust. That, or you just get a damn pie from the store.

Or making "Kool-Aid" pie. That stuff is vile. Practically the same thing that he made but you use Cool-Whip in it instead of cream cheese.

Who the fuck is he trying to bullshit? I don't care where you live, having a job scrubbing shitters ain't going to buy you a house. Maybe a trailer home on a mortgage, but you still don't own it until it's paid in full.

My guess is Jagoff and Hammy bought it for the kids and they're going to be living in another part of the home. So separate but still together.

 

[Tiresome]

My guess is Jagoff and Hammy bought it for the kids and they're going to be living in another part of the home. So separate but still together.

RIP Brianna's hopes and dreams, in exchange for a shitty house you're now designated asswiper for a fleshboulder.

 

[Sev07]

GET YOU COOKBOOK

who wants to take a $5 hit for the team?

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

HERE IS THE COOKBOOK PDF!!!

I can't take any credit for this though, this was bought and shared by a benevolent soul on the PC+TLM discord.
It's so bad- so, so, fucking bad. A ton of recipes don't have actual instructions but are just a link to his youtube videos, there's stolen images, recipes repeated right after each other, the punctuation and capitalization is all over the place. This is the most stroked out shit I've ever seen and I love it.


EDIT: Adding images because aaaaaaaaaaa




PDF below:

 

[Tiresome]

View attachment 5186030

GET YOU COOKBOOK

who wants to take a $5 hit for the team?

I can't fuckin believe it. My joke cover that took all of thirty seconds looks MORE professional than Jack's actual finished product. Then again why should I be surprised.

I can't take any credit for this though, this was bought and shared by a benevolent soul on the PC+TLM discord.
It's so bad- so, so, fucking bad. A ton of recipes don't have actual instructions but are just a link to his youtube videos, there's stolen images, recipes repeated right after each other, the punctuation and capitalization is all over the place. This is the most stroked out shit I've ever seen and I love it.

Okay this is God's work. Literally the only people willing to pay money to get a look at Jack's bowel movement of a first (and undoubtedly last) book would be trolls, and I include Rob in that. Now we don't need to.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

View attachment 5186071

Jesus Christ, the first cookbook that can be obsoleted by a single channel purge by youtube. Better dive on these recipes.

Also, TOR's download speeds are shit, so here's a clearnet mirror https://anonfiles.com/xcE160z6z9/_CWJ_LM_RECIPES_FINAL_pdf

Edit: Did anyone even edit this? He has the same recipe in the book twice

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Goddamn, page 5 had me rolling:


EDIT: Oh shit, page 7 and 8, he literally copied and pasted the description of his video the "recipe" came from... twice... including a link to his playlist. Motherfucker is legally blind.


EDIT EDIT: Every page is gold:

"Ingredients: ingredient you like. Directions: watch video". I haven't laughed this hard in a while. A sincere "Thank you" to Jack.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

I love how he gives ratings to the recipes. Like "ehh, this recipe for chili is kinda average, three stars, here it is anyway. You paid five bucks LMAO"

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

What does the star rating mean?

Also lol at how spectacularly half-assed the "Breakfast" and "Brunch" sections are.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Hahahahahaha

1st ingredient: Pizza.
Directions: Jack on the Go Fuck Yourself.

EDIT: Jack is a comedic genius:

Step 1: "e".

 

[stupid frog]

Is there a 1 star recipe in there?
By his rating system, obviously.

 

[Slur Generator]

View attachment 5186072

"Lazy man's stir fry directions - stir fry and eat"

Im laughing like an idiot. It was God's plan that he live to publish this great work.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Unironically Jack's best recipe:


EDIT: 32 CUPS OF FLOUR!??!?!?!

No wonder he stroked out while eating these, 32 cups of flour is definitely not KEETTOOOO. And how fitting is it that this is the last recipe in the book? His cookbook ended just like the last of his independence: with shitty blueberry muffins.

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

Man I am much disappoint. I wanted a physical cookbook to buy and put right next to my Chris Chan coin.

 

[GenociderSyo]

I liked the enchilada recipe with like 4 lbs of cheese, 3 lbs of sauce and half a pound of ground beef. And it wasn't even a soup.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Man I am much disappoint. I wanted a physical cookbook to buy and put right next to my Chris Chan coin.

You could take the PDF and send it to a printer like lulu.com and have your own physical copy printed, likely for cheaper than Jack would have charged. Jack shouldn't have a problem with it, after all, he said himself that you can't "copy write" recipes.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

View attachment 5183888

View attachment 5183889

View attachment 5183890

Jack is blogging again and he just wants to be an okay guy. It's not that people want you to die Jack, it's that all this was brought on by yourself and was totally preventable with diet and exercise. All this has happened and your habits are the same. Your "angel wife" and family apparently aren't enough to inspire real change in you so how am I supposed to think you're an "okay guy"?

There it is. Every time the internet tells a fat person that they're going to die from being a glutton it becomes, "Oh woe is me! Look at all these meanies that want me to die! They are all murderous psychos and very evil and I am not and will fight back by shoveling 5000 calories into my face!"

Now I don't doubt there are a couple of you out there that want Jack to keel over but I would say the majority of people that point and laugh just want to do that.

 

[Delilah Radio Show]

Step 1:

 

[AnOminous]

Lazy Man's Stroke Recipe: Eat shit and have a stroke.