Quinton Reviews / Quinton Kyle Hoover / Q_Review / OttselSpy24 / OttselSpy25 - I KNOW WE HIT THE LIMIT FOR ME TO DO THEM, BUT THOSE THINGS TAKE TIME, NOW SHUT UP AND LET ME TALK ABOUT GARFIELD AND MCDONALDS, WHILE MOCKING OTHER YOUTUBERS!!

[grapeshark77]

I seriously forgot Q existed until I looked at Twitter today - reply-guying Defunctland with a lame Discord joke because they were trending after Disney decided to close the Star Wars Starcruiser thing. He lost whatever relevance he had pretty quickly.

https://archive.ph/wip/p99gq

 

[TVB]

I seriously forgot Q existed until I looked at Twitter today - reply-guying Defunctland with a lame Discord joke because they were trending after Disney decided to close the Star Wars Starcruiser thing. He lost whatever relevance he had pretty quickly.

View attachment 5127966

https://archive.ph/wip/p99gq

How long til he finally figures out that nobody even cares about the big Q anymore?

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

I seriously forgot Q existed until I looked at Twitter today - reply-guying Defunctland with a lame Discord joke because they were trending after Disney decided to close the Star Wars Starcruiser thing. He lost whatever relevance he had pretty quickly.

View attachment 5127966

https://archive.ph/wip/p99gq

>having to resort to DeSantis trolling
>only doing it to get on the good graces of Disney

The consooming for big name corporations still continue.

 

[whogoesthere]

I seriously forgot Q existed until I looked at Twitter today - reply-guying Defunctland with a lame Discord joke because they were trending after Disney decided to close the Star Wars Starcruiser thing. He lost whatever relevance he had pretty quickly.

View attachment 5127966

https://archive.ph/wip/p99gq

I also forgot he existed till I noticed this thread again. He is an odd case for tubers, he wasnt canceled or anything like that, just fucking killed his own content. Not even like a troupe who do videos, just one man, easy mode and every creatives dream.

 

[TVB]

I also forgot he existed till I noticed this thread again. He is an odd case for tubers, he wasnt canceled or anything like that, just fucking killed his own content. Not even like a troupe who do videos, just one man, easy mode and every creatives dream.

It's like Q has been on autopilot mode for years. Just taking the easy way out in order to succeed in life, despite that in order to do so, there are some challenges he needed to face, but he can't.

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

Hey fellow GarfTube connoisseurs!
It has been a while since you got an update from us Quintstorians and although we could spent all day blaming a certain LEGO headed meanie for taking our main means of autistic expression it just wouldn't be very productive and that fuck has her own thread anyway. Let's start Pride Month with a great announcement. I'm glad to inform y'all that with the mercy of our MIA hijabi princess and the certain degree of freedom being trapped in le deep web provides, I can leak Quew shit again since if the mods acted up it would prove they care enough about this dead thread that practically saw all its regulars purged and/or unable to post.
Consider this a lowlight reel of what has happened for the last couple of months. Initially I wanted to make a Stan Lee larp here and act like this was an comic book omnibus but the site didn't save my draft. Rare Qiwi L.

WARNING: These are only the lulzy shit that happened. If you legit want a Comprehensive History level deep dive you will have to make your own lurking. Me and my team of autists are still investigating some of this shit, if you want to join the effort do it and share your findings.

Spoiler: The Fate of Mini Quinton

The old guard of the thread will remember Quinton had a Makeship campaign about 2 years ago that barely managed to sell half the 400 plushies needed to break even and that Q himself bought several, including the remaining stock which has been featured in the background of some of his videos.


Q tried to sell them via Patreon (according to it he only has one left) but he tried to use his PixelEmpire connections to sell them back in December. Things didn't turn as expected.

Spoiler: Qrumton Reviews, Prince of Pity

The only evidence of a not archived Discord call presumably made for very stupid reasons.

Spoiler: Garfbeef with AVGN!?1!?!

AVGN decided to make his Christmas special all about Garfield, cuz when you think about over commercialized, cynical corporate bullshit you think about Jim Davis's brainchild. Quinton took it the wrong way because he has a Garfield vidya video in the pipeline since Biden was still lucid and his fans have to convince him his video will be better on the basis of being longer.

Spoiler: Naughty List

Years ago, Quinton made a Christmas special with Worthikids all about watching Rankin-Bass movies and for some reason the Etsy shop that sold Q the DVDs for that video DMCA'd it, managed to claim the video for a whole month and then YouTube realized no one had the authority to claim copyright over the movies used.

Spoiler: iInterviewedAGhost

Cameron Ocasio is 23 year old actor mainly known for being in Sam & Cat who occasionally streams and has a semi-active community. For very obvious purposes, Quinton has tried to interview him in order to further pad his videos and went through the trouble of unsuccessfully infiltrating his fanbase to get contact information.

But the cherry on top is the very unfortunate confusion.

Spoiler: YouTube Friends

Two random tangent stories for the price of one. Context is that Billiam had his channel hacked by some crypto scam (Q even made a video on his second channel so you know is real shit) and manages to make the whole situation about himself again. About Izzyzz, Quinton had previously expressed surprise they hadn't surpassed him sub wise.

Spoiler: The Ballad of Zygon Penis

In an incident that I promise to investigate further in the future we have a clear demonstration of why Quinton has largely stopped engaging Doctor Who outside of projects stuck in development hell: he has shit opinions.

Spoiler: a funny

Every joke has a set-up and a punchline.

Spoiler: A sore throat, a broken blood vessel and a wedding

Quinton starts the year being quite productive in the 3 fronts he covers (Sam & Cat, April Fool's and Shrek 2 Retold) but starts March in very Quinton fashion.

Is that the end of the story? No son. We are getting into my favorite part.

And yet, it gets more Quintonesque. Remember Q mentioned a sketchy bar? Not content with bitching in the Quew, he fucking made a Patreon post giving us more context that reads more like seething than justifying his lackluster work ethic.

Already too long as is, will try to get you the rest sooner rather than later. EXCELSIOR.

 

[TVB]

The more I see Q always throwing a pity party all over Discord, the more I feel like he really needs to seek a therapist.

 

[Jonah Hill poster]

The more I see Q always throwing a pity party all over Discord, the more I feel like he really needs to seek a therapist.

The funny thing is that Mumkey Jones at one point told him to calm down regarding this kind of thing, but Q ignored it and took it all out on him.

Fast forward to Mumkey being technically irrelevant as far as YT circles go, I don't even think therapy would work on Q.

 

[TVB]

The funny thing is that Mumkey Jones at one point told him to calm down regarding this kind of thing, but Q ignored it and took it all out on him.

Fast forward to Mumkey being technically irrelevant as far as YT circles go, I don't even think therapy would work on Q.

And a couple months after Q has a meltdown, Mumkey got exposed and then most people forgot about the actual feud.

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

Before I go back to the semester recap I was requested to give a minor addendum:

On the Doctor Who dogpile: Quinton dogpiled because he doesn't know basic shit about a show that has lost media in the first place because they were too cheap to keep master tapes.


He then goes to the Quew to seethe. If there is one character quirk Q has kept consistent throughout the years is that he loves being in the right about everything and when he isn't he pretends it didn't happen and moves on, that's why we only got these screen caps since he obviously deleted yet another instance of him getting factual shit wrong.

The dogpilling he was subjected to were these replies, assuming of course others weren't deleted when they realized they made a 26 year old man sad.


Of course, when you are a grandiloquent pretentious douche bag you should expect to foster a fanbase that is correcting you in almost every non-Garfield statement you make.


Q also inserted himself in the Spiderverse Gwen Stacy is trans with the ultimate fence-sitter take.

https://twitter.com/Q_Review/status/1667589562367983616

1. With this crowd you can either a) not give them any attention and allow them to headcanon your character/work as trans, b) cave to them and sneak references to them in your work so they headcanon your character/work as trans anyway or c) try to get ahead of the curve and surrender your work as a trans allegory. As seen in the original tweet that started it all, not even they think you can be empathetic to their struggle if you dont happen to be trans or someone close to you is, so you have tons of people that fit in the the third variety get called eggs for what amounts to the most cynical PR move of the digital age.

2. Spider Gwen is the perfect cocktail for this people not only because of the arc of self-acceptance, but also because she is an unabashedly tomboyish teenage girl that is comfortable enough in her femininity. Add that her comic series is pretty much doomer porn and her color palette. This character that exists because of a post-TAS nut clarity is everything these fucks wanted to be.

All of this because the animators sneaked a fucking decal in her room about their own politics.

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

Hello my fellow Qiwis. In order to celebrate my return to the world of the sneeding I was given permission by our very own ZP to share a neat little update and add some context.

Turns out that despite how 'in-depth' the Nick recaps are, Q forgot a couple of things and he plans on making an hour long segment around that. One of the things he forgot was 7 Secrets of Miranda Cosgrove, a lukewarm TV special that he didn't forgot as much as he choose to not talk about cuz it was boring. Why does it matter? Q decided to give us an abridged version of his life between his high school years and when YouTube became his MO.

1. Quinton once alluded wanting to enroll in SCAD (Savannah College of Arts & Design) in a review he made of Mamamax. If you want to read more about this former YouTube friendship, look out for my old post in Max's thread (includes a once believed to be lost collab that was mainly done by Q).

2. Dairy Queen we couldn't verify.
3. Dollar General was confirmed by an old Instagram post.

4. He shows up in an old Q&A of his wearing a LC shirt and was mentioned in an old tweet.

This comes from the same script where he shares with no sense of irony that he used to be a graphic design buff while showcasing his own merch.

 

[Dirk Dinkum]

Sorry for the wait. Let's resume the semester recap of what has transpired. At the request of @Sleepy Pink Muslim Queen, 2 very special pieces of media will be reviewed by her in a separate post.

This is Across The Quewniverse.

Spoiler: The Quest for Dirty Dan

A teaser for the inevitable video on Dan Schneider aka Dirty Dan that you know is going to be a poor man's version of blameitonjorge's.

random.txt

Spoiler: Salmon Cat

A chronicle of the efforts to finally finish the Nick recaps proper and the constant impulse to make it longer.

Spoiler: There's a saying in Tennessee

The Russ Reviews masterpiece better known as the April Fool's video has yet to grace our screens and poison our minds as of America Day 2023. Here you get another compilation of seething about not meeting the deadline and the barganing necessary to get Q in a semi-healthy headspace. Remember, this whole thing is now at least 2 videos with a runtime of almost 2 days and at least 1 hour dedicated to an obscure series of one page comic dubbed by CA alumni.

Spoiler: Peter Reviews, YouTube Guy

Despite already juggling 3 different projects on a deadline, Q decides to accept an invitation by a Family Guy Twitter gimmick account for April Fool's.

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1BS9-ERrQedQHu7ZE5N0QKr5G3mzH9zqV/view

Spoiler: Yet another trip to the doctor

Last update ended on a bummer with Q catching an infection and proceeding to stress so much he broke a blood vessel. Here we get the spiritual sequel and yet more exposition about it.

Spoiler: MOCKING OTHER YOUTUBERS

Somewhat bombastic title. Quinton goes at it again shittalking another YouTuber umprompted and it evolves into YouTube friends trivia and feelings of inadequacy.

Spoiler: The chair

Singling this one from all the side stories because of Springday's 'if he recognizes you' comment.

Spoiler: IRaveWithMattBennett

Quinton was invited to Matt Bennett's Zoey 101 rave party at Cincinnati, further proving he lives in Cincy metro. In pure Quintonian fashion several things go wrong before they go right.

How Quinton retroactively remembers our 100 page anniversary.

Spoiler: Side stories

Stuff that was notable enough but didn't fit any storyline in particular.

The most involved Quinton Reviews fan vs. The Qiwi Farms less engaged lurker meme when?

 

[Namekian George Floyd]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, another one

Spoiler: Archived because you know this bitch is gonna delete this if she gets any blowback

 

[grapeshark77]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, another one

Spoiler: Archived because you know this bitch is gonna delete this if she gets any blowback

View attachment 5194181

Oh man, this is the worst possible video to take him down. She's got a couple of valid points (lack of payment, communication) and then adds a ton of petty stuff with speculation about those Sarah Z/Lindsay DMs - in the comments she says it's "not her story to tell". And it's 19 minutes long.

Pinned comment says we're "chuds" despite all the Discord stuff being archived here:

 

[Namekian George Floyd]

Oh man, this is the worst possible video to take him down. She's got a couple of valid points (lack of payment, communication) and then adds a ton of petty stuff with speculation about those Sarah Z/Lindsay DMs - in the comments she says it's "not her story to tell". And it's 19 minutes long.

She's a fucking idiot who jumped into a project without thinking about her irl responsibilities and did all of it while not knowing how much she was going to get paid, all because she wanted to be involved with an e-celeb so bad. I really don't believe she was editing for that many hours a day with how simple the editing of the video was, I could teach someone how to do everything she did in those videos within 10 minutes, anyone with an entry-level grasp of editing software could and honestly, I think he paid her too much for her work given her skill level. She literally just found media, dragged it into the timeline and cut it.

There was also a clear lack of actual communication on her end since he did say that if it was such a big problem, he could have hired a backup editor to help her out. She is literally just mad that he didn't want to be her best friend and promote her channel and now she wants to be the person who cancels him because it'll get her clout. Quinton was totally right to not befriend this person because if he did, this would still happen eventually but she'd have more to dump about him. I want him to respond so he can get his first W in idk how many years but he probably won't because not enough people care and he's afraid to.

 

[Blue Gem Kosher Queen]

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, another one

Spoiler: Archived because you know this bitch is gonna delete this if she gets any blowback

View attachment 5194181

At its core I agree with your take on this one. Julia did work 8 hour shifts for the first video and 7 hour shifts for the second one on her own while being underpayed, but it’s seems to me like Quinton, in all his passive glory, was waiting for her to stop and force him to find another editor. He might have taken advantage of her, but it was her decision to put her own degree in jeopardy to get a fucking credit on a YouTube video. I have met people refusing to sink higher than that for real productions.

Julia also talks about not wanting to abandon the project because it felt like her baby. Again, that was her call but I do feel bad for her regardless since I’m very well acquainted with people that did give Quinton ideas and feedback without getting any real credit. Thing is, none of them are beating themselves 2 years later about it.

What ultimately killed my sympathy for her plight is the very end when she mentions a ‘final blow’ to their friendship she refuses to elaborate because it’s too personal to actually share. Same with her saying she knows the DM saga didn’t involve any creeping from Q but she again refuses to elaborate because that ‘isn’t her story to tell’. She literally alludes that there might be other editors trapped in the very same situation and is their call to come forward. Ending the whole thing like this, without really adding anything of worth makes it feel even more petty than it really is.

I have expressed in the past that I see where Julia is coming from but she makes it very hard to see her story as anything but a performance. Do I want Quinton to answer? You bet, but he never will and is something she knows and calls out. Q is an expert in running away from his problems, so unless she finally tells us the full story and it proves to be substantial, nothing is going to happen. Is like when you get your car stolen after carelessly parking in an unsupervised area and act surprised when it has been damaged. Yeah, sucks it happened but you can blame yourself in part for the outcome.

Julia, if you feel like it you can just make an account to drop spicy details anonymously. Everyone’s a winner and you know Q would seethe even harder.

 

[Q_Anon1001]

Damn, this got to quinton's feelings lmao, and he had to make a video responding to the allegations making Julia out to be a scorned woman. It lead to him blocking folding ideas on twitter and he's now on his hugbox wanting reassurance that he's not a bad guy despite people repeatedly telling him he's not.

Whoever her friends were who encouraged her to upload her video should take a massive L. But it's very clear that Quinton liked her attention or at least what she could do for him

 

[grapeshark77]

Some tweets, Lady Emily called him out too:







What's interesting is that Emily is getting a ton of pushback on the tweet. Lots of people complaining about subtweeting, being vague, and if Q didn't actually do anything beyond what we know they should stop talking about it. I don't want to fill this post with images but it's a decent amount - I don't think these people like Quinton but they don't like the pile-on stuff.

 

[7th Dweller of Da'at]

imagine being rejected by Quinton Reviews lmao

 

[Rotollo 2]

Quinton once again being eaten alive by people he associated with will never not be funny, how does it feel quinton knowing that you were put aside to pasture like an unwanted dog Q-boy
also I know someone talked about it above but just posting the link for posterity

would archive but I'm lazy/idk how to use youtube-dl and handbreak on linux atm