When is my tardigrade old enough to have the talk?

[Agent Abe Caprine]

You know, birds and bees.

 

[analrapist]

You have to determine this on a case-by-case basis. Some are more tardi than others. Some are flat out retardi.

 

[Magicicada_septendecula]

That really depends. How tardigraded is it?

 

[Cats]

You don't need to explain anything.

Simply place your microscopic friend near the opening to one of your ears, and eventually he will find his way through your hearing canal and burrow his way into your brain. There, his body will melt, and quickly become absorbed by the passing neurons - connecting you both as a singular and completely new coalesced mind. He will have all of your thoughts and memories, and you will have all of his. But beware...the unfathomable memories of a creature so small may prove to be far too big once they belong to you.

 

[Moths]

Im sorry he retardigraded

 

[Archie_Kimkicker]

I once got banned from a TF2 server for calling someone a tardigrade.

 

[Ughubughughughughughghlug]

...the unfathomable memories of a creature so small may prove to be far too big once they belong to you.

10/10 like poetry