Hmm ... I posted it because WHAT THE EVER LOVING FAGGOTY FUCK IS A 3RD WAVE BARISTA?
I think I've known maybe a half-dozen people who deserve a fancy title like that. One of them had a tiny house where he had an upstairs for his art studio and downstairs he had a coffee shop that could maybe seat a half dozen people tops. He had a vintage Gaggia machine (one of the big ones with steampunk looking chrome piping and shit). If you know those, it's a labor of love to keep one of those fuckers working, sort of like an antique Italian motorcycle.
That may all sound gay and hipster as fuck but he was actually pretty down to earth and normal, just seriously into coffee.
He had a number of unique blends and recipes, and it was impossible to stump him with making the most elaborately bullshit coffee nerd orders you could come up with.
I'm pretty sure he didn't even need to do this but just liked making coffee for people, because no way was it even paying to keep the machine functioning. That guy could call himself a barista, although coffee artist would have been better.
You don't get to use that name if you are working for some chain selling shitty over-roasted Costa Rican mud coffee.
Coffee hipster shit, I assume.
It's actually a good point, though. Really, with some obvious exceptions, dark roasting coffee is to mask its low quality, because the darker you roast, the more all kinds of beans taste the same. With a lighter roast, the beans retain their dominant flavors. If those are turpentine and mouthwash, the result will suck.
This is why Starsucks is almost always overroasted to the point of being burnt.
McDonald's, oddly enough, is generally a good blend and medium roasted. They even send out undercover goons to check out things like the coffee and soda and if it isn't up to snuff, the franchisee gets a spanking. That's why you can almost trust a McDonald's coffee to be solid. And if not, you can Karen up a storm to corporate, if you're that kind of dickhead.
I hate the whole concept of barcades although I have to admit I like unfinished walls.
While I have a certain nostalgia for old '80s era arcades, it just will never be the same and it's just sad for adults to hang out in such a place. They used to be a great one stop shop, you'd go there with your juvenile delinquent buddies, score some weed from the degenerate making change behind the counter, smoke some weed, then play vidya stoned. Maybe trade some comic books or other nerd shit. Later in the '90s maybe Magic cards.
You can never go back though.
smiley because when i see shit like this there's no better way to describe what i'm feeling than via it. The cognitive disonance the average redditor has is unreal.
