Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

[Baguette Child]

They aren't even really documentaries' at this point. It's "We took Josh to a few bars and got him drunk watch him repeat the same shit he says in his videos and be autistic"

Seriously. Calling this shit a documentary gives these braindead morons too much credit.

 

[PetiteFeet]

But can we all agree Bitesize's saga videos are fantastic.
Does anyone know why Bitesize changed narrator? Used to be some deep voiced American and is now some higher pitched britbong.

 

[DrNow]

I’ve only seen the first hour of the documentary, I do think there was some genuine interest in kingcobrajfs on part of the people who made it, it hasn’t been all bad so far. But overall, I can see it being another one of those times where I end up preferring Cobes to the weens who orbit around him.

They’re young and they’ve chosen to put themselves under the scrutiny of cobras viewerbase. They’ve inserted themselves into his drama and dysfunction to make a product. We can judge them, but the fact is people will also watch it.

Maybe I’ll have a different take by the end.

 

[Healthy Boy Brand]

But can we all agree Bitesize's saga videos are fantastic.
Does anyone know why Bitesize changed narrator? Used to be some deep voiced American and is now some higher pitched britbong.

The deep voiced guy is @SeizureRobot5000 from what I figured those were guest appearances on his part (check out his Snake Bones podcast if you haven't yet, he's my personal gold standard for Boglimology). The high pitched britbong is Bitesize himself.

 

[PetiteFeet]

The deep voiced guy is @SeizureRobot5000 from what I figured those were guest appearances on his part (check out his Snake Bones podcast if you haven't yet, he's my personal gold standard for Boglimology). The high pitched britbong is Bitesize himself.

ah, I see. Thank you for the explanation. I'll give the podcast a listen.

 

[Bogliacci]

Biggest red flag about the new documentary is the interviews of relative nobodies while guys like bitsize and seizure weren't in it at all. Could be they turned down the interviews, but I think that's just as telling too.

 

[BallBuster II]

I’ve only seen the first hour of the documentary, I do think there was some genuine interest in kingcobrajfs on part of the people who made it, it hasn’t been all bad so far. But overall, I can see it being another one of those times where I end up preferring Cobes to the weens who orbit around him.

They’re young and they’ve chosen to put themselves under the scrutiny of cobras viewerbase. They’ve inserted themselves into his drama and dysfunction to make a product. We can judge them, but the fact is people will also watch it.

Maybe I’ll have a different take by the end.

The best part are the extended scenes out of the dank Cobra den. It's a side of a Josh we don't get to see often. Not that his demeanor or personality are any different, but it is still something different for us content wise.

At the end of the day, all this really did was show that Josh can't function without alcohol, something we already knew, and that he acts 100% the same off stream as he does on stream.

As I stated before, he does seem to be a bit more lively when out and around people, which is good for him, but not being able to do it without alcohol is his problem.

Dude is going to go into liver failure soon, I am expecting a jaundice saga to start in the next 1-3 years. Clint at this point, knows there is no stopping this, and any attempt to will just result in a massive retard sperg from Josh.

 

[YouGuysAren'tThatSmart]

The best part are the extended scenes out of the dank Cobra den. It's a side of a Josh we don't get to see often. Not that his demeanor or personality are any different, but it is still something different for us content wise.

At the end of the day, all this really did was show that Josh can't function without alcohol, something we already knew, and that he acts 100% the same off stream as he does on stream.

As I stated before, he does seem to be a bit more lively when out and around people, which is good for him, but not being able to do it without alcohol is his problem.

Dude is going to go into liver failure soon, I am expecting a jaundice saga to start in the next 1-3 years. Clint at this point, knows there is no stopping this, and any attempt to will just result in a massive retard sperg from Josh.

He'll die choking on his own vomit, before we get to that saga

 

[Devious Dave]

He'll die choking on his own vomit, before we get to that saga

That's fucking dark part of the reason why I'm not in here very much anymore I only watch his cooking videos now it's legitimately depressing seeing him never get better

 

[BallBuster II]

That's fucking dark part of the reason why I'm not in here very much anymore I only watch his cooking videos now it's legitimately depressing seeing him never get better

Well if it offers you any solace, he would only have I'd say a 15% of choking on his vomit and here is why:

He typically passes out sitting up right, which while not ideal, is still better than being completely flat on your back. Also, while we have seen him throw up on stream before (though the amount that actually comes out is hardly enough to choke anyone), I don't honestly think he vomits half as much as people think he does. Dude has a stomach made out of vibranium. Between all the booze, grease, bugs, and just utter garbage he shoves down his gullet, he's got a way stronger stomach than anyone. I have had draft beer that had dirty lines and I was yakking my brains out that night. I have seen this dude eat canned fish and oysters shoved into dirty burritos, cooked in nasty oil and baked on filthy baking sheets and ovens, palm it into his mouth like an absolute heathen, and then wash it down with some drink combo that consisted of 5 different airplane bottles worth of booze and an energy drink, and shrug it all off like it was a daily routine for him.

So don't bank on a death by vomit finale.

 

[Cunning Lettuce]

So don't bank on a death by vomit finale.

He's more likely to pass out with a lit cigarette and burn to death in the dog chair.

 

[PetiteFeet]

He's more likely to pass out with a lit cigarette and burn to death in the dog chair.

Chair bugs o7

 

[Associate Rick]

He's more likely to pass out with a lit cigarette and burn to death in the dog chair.

TWU

 

[RollingRock2]

That's fucking dark part of the reason why I'm not in here very much anymore I only watch his cooking videos now it's legitimately depressing seeing him never get better

HES GOT PLENTY OF BOOZE BUT HE CAN'T FIND HIS GUITAR
ENDS UP DROWNING IN PUKE WITH A BOTTLE IN HIS ARMS

 

[Bixby Snyder]

I can see him dying by leaving the stove on, smoking in his chair drunk, or basically any activity that involves fire and him drunk. I wonder how many times he’s decided to cook sometime (he already does it way too fucking long) and just passed out with the shit in the oven.

Been away for few months and basically nothing has changed. Shitty doc where I get to see him in hi-def and in the wild. He’s eaten some bug boggrito. He tried drinking some 4Loco and just passed out.

The writers for this show have ran outta material.

 

[Crimson Fucker Ţepeş]

I was not ready for the video of him eating the bogritto with bugs crawling inside it while going on about how it was "packed with protein", yeah there was a little more protein in that than he bargained for. How much bug shit do you think he ate in that one meal alone? His eating habbits are literally dnd goblin tier.

 

[SeizureRobot5000]

But can we all agree Bitesize's saga videos are fantastic.
Does anyone know why Bitesize changed narrator? Used to be some deep voiced American and is now some higher pitched britbong.

The guy in your particular link isn't me, it's AnonymousCasperWY, aka GothicKingOprah, the exiled subreddit moderator. Bite tried to be friends with him back in the day, but I don't think they talk anymore. I have done narration for Bite's vids in the past though.

Biggest red flag about the new documentary is the interviews of relative nobodies while guys like bitsize and seizure weren't in it at all. Could be they turned down the interviews, but I think that's just as telling too.

He emailed me about an interview for the doc but I declined. The whole idea felt self-congratulatory and out of place... really though, what could ANY Cobra content person say that would actually belong in a documentary that's supposed to be about Josh? I know I wouldn't want to see anything like that as a viewer.

 

[January Cyst]

One of the most interesting things about the documentary was the fact that Josh came out of his apartment building drunk with a big knife strapped to his side.
After intentionally blocking the way of a random car that tried to get by him he fantasized about stabbing the driver had they tried to run him over.
This is a side of Josh that we don't see on camera but that most certainly does exist, a scene like that likely lead to his arrest last Christmas.

 

[PetiteFeet]

The guy in your particular link isn't me, it's AnonymousCasperWY, aka GothicKingOprah, the exiled subreddit moderator. Bite tried to be friends with him back in the day, but I don't think they talk anymore. I have done narration for Bite's vids in the past though.

Thanks for the info, I never knew. Making my way through your podcast and you guys were eerily correct about a lot of things.

I can see him dying by leaving the stove on, smoking in his chair drunk, or basically any activity that involves fire and him drunk. I wonder how many times he’s decided to cook sometime (he already does it way too fucking long) and just passed out with the shit in the oven.

Been away for few months and basically nothing has changed. Shitty doc where I get to see him in hi-def and in the wild. He’s eaten some bug boggrito. He tried drinking some 4Loco and just passed out.

The writers for this show have ran outta material.

Waiting for a second grease fire, I could definitely see that happening while he's drunk.

 

[RollingRock2]

Deep frted bugrito fire