Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 791 56.9%

  • Total voters
    1,390
I almost feel bad for Tammy for having to drive him around to restaurants so he can stuff more food in his maw and then "review" it
i bet she only goes along with it so he'll die off faster and she can be rid of him. too bad it's not working! how was she supposed to know this fat retard is invincible and can live through multiple strokes?
 
Is that an Apple Watch? I never noticed he had one. How does he even use it?

Jack's Apple Watch.jpg


Also, grilled PB&J sounds disgusting.
 
Lab-grown meat would be cool if you got to make it at home. You'd have a little terrarium with a central feeding tube with a meat-unit growing around it, and you'd slice off some of the outer layer when you needed meat to cook.

I am picturing one of those commercial gyro meat spits except smaller and gently throbbing. rotating slowly in the kitchen next to your hydroponic basil.
 
New intro music, and it's more baby music. The mental image of Jack sitting in his armchair, scrolling through baby music channels on YouTube trying to find the perfect intro song, really makes me laugh.

Jack's explanation for how the microwave grilled cheese maker works: "Lotta people are putting -- this has metal -- lotta people are using metal, because it reacts very fast, in the microwave that's why you see sparks. When you forget, and you put something wrong in the microwave, and it takes off, so does this. So they designed it so they control the sparks and cook the sandwich."

There's a weird jump cut after he takes a bite, then Jack comes back out of breath and doesn't take another bite. I'm guessing he's still experiencing dysphagia from the stroke.

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Is that an Apple Watch? I never noticed he had one. How does he even use it?

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Also, grilled PB&J sounds disgusting.
Nah, grilled PB&J is awesome, or better yet grilled PB with banana and honey (Elvis loved this one).

Of course they'll probably taste and come out best if you actually grill them on an actual griddle or stove top pan, rather than microwave them on some cheap Chinese-made "As Seen on TV!" grade crap.
 
"Microwave Grill Cheese Maker" archive:

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Youtube link


And what in the holy hell is that on his still functioning arm? Burn marks, or something?

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Is this the most useless kitchen gadget Jack's had yet? If I want a grilled cheese and it's too hot to rev up the gas stove, I always just stuck it on a plate in the microwave for a minute after toasting the bread.
 
Also, grilled PB&J sounds disgusting.
Hard disagree. It's way better as a grilled sandwich, especially if you use quality ingredients (as opposed to Wonder bread that sticks to the roof of your mouth). Elvis' favorite PB/banana/bacon sandwich has already been mentioned, but I make something similar to another sandwich that he also enjoyed:

It's basically the Fool's Gold Loaf, but smaller. I start by cooking up two slices of bacon in the skillet, and then set them aside. I cut thick slices of bread off the loaf that I then fry in the leftover bacon grease. Assemble with PB, grape J, and the bacon. Place under a broiler for a minute or two and make sure the sandwich is nicely seeded together. I call it the "Elvis Sandwich," and it's quite a treat.

Another thing I've done is prepare the bread Monte Cristo-style before assembling with PB and strawberry J. Top it with a little bit of powdered sugar...delectable.
 

The roulette wheel strikes out on two recipes with no directions except "watch video", then Rob lands on the keto pound cake from a few weeks back. Even with Rob trying his best, the results are underwhelming.
I wanted to make sure not to check the thread until after I got a chance to watch this video - didn't want any spoilers! I'm like legitimately a fan of Rob's at this point. I laughed so hard at the choice of Jack photo he used this time. Then him landing on two different "watch video" recipes in a row was priceless! The second video URL even had a bunch of extra crap on it. The man can't even edit down a video URL!
The keto cake recipe was way too thorough for me to believe it came from Jack. Went into the comments and Rob had found the original recipe that Jack had stolen for it.
I'd rather eat soy chorizo any day over meat chorizo, because meat chorizo is made of the dregs of the dregs of the dregs, the shit they don't even put in hot dogs. Yes, you're reading that right.
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Idk about glands and lymph nodes, but cheeks and tongue aren't that uncommon in Mexican cooking. I've seen cow tongue tacos on a few menus.
"Microwave Grill Cheese Maker" archive:

View attachment 5225189

Youtube link


And what in the holy hell is that on his still functioning arm? Burn marks, or something?

View attachment 5225190
His gimp arm looks more and more painful in each successive video. But not as painful as watching him trying to assemble the cheese on that sandwich. He bends off a piece off the pepper-jack to make a square edge, but then puts the remaining round edge at the bottom of the bread slice. And, as usual, Jack over-does it with the amount of cheese.
Is this the most useless kitchen gadget Jack's had yet? If I want a grilled cheese and it's too hot to rev up the gas stove, I always just stuck it on a plate in the microwave for a minute after toasting the bread.
The true Lazy-Man's™ grilled cheese.
 
Jack has been active on Quora, mostly giving one-word answers and responding saying he doesn't know. But of all his answers I especially liked this one.

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This is how Jack spends his time now that all of his friends have dumped him for probably being an insufferable dick with delusions of grandeur; answering questions asked by 9 year olds on Quora.


The new JOTG is absolutely disgusting. Here is a screenshot from the video where Jagoff is showing off his BJ technique that he probably works on when home alone.

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