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WIBTAH for kicking my son out for making “dark humor” TikToks about our daughters death?​

EDIT: UPDATE

My daughter (16F) died 7 months ago in a car accident. The other driver was speeding and weaving in and out of traffic like a maniac on the highway, ultimately hitting my babygirl. The driver died on impact, but she died 6 hours later in the hospital due to her injuries.

My wife and I attend individual therapy, as well as marriage counseling. It’s been extremely hard for both of us, but we have made considerable progress given the circumstances.

We begged our son to get therapy and go to family counseling with us, but he refused. He’s 19 and in college so we can’t force him to go. Our therapist gave us a list of warning signs to look out for, and he seemed to be coping well with the loss. We decided to let him grieve in his own way.

The issue is my wife discovered a video my son made that went viral on TikTok. It was reposted by another account.

It was a dark humor video. “Before and after getting my drivers license” which was her school picture and then a picture of her gravestone/totaled car. The 3000+ comments were extremely fucked up and had similar “jokes”.

We found his account which had more than one video like this. “Us then vs now” which had a baby photo of them and then cut to a selfie of him next to her hospital bed before she died. There were in total 5 different posts similar to this. Each similarly more disgusting.

My wife was inconsolable. She had a severe mental breakdown. I had to take her to the ER so she can be sedated and given fluids due to her vomiting and hyperventilating.

I confronted my son, who defended himself saying he uses these videos to “cope” with her death. That “dark humor” is the way he grieves. I could barley look at him. I told him to pack his things and stay with his grandparents. He was angry and said we both need to “move the fuck on” and stop taking our grieve out on him.

It’s been 2 weeks and my wife doesn’t want to be anywhere near my son anytime soon. I can’t say I disagree. It’s been about giant 10 steps back for both our grieving process.

Our son gone was supposed to be temporary, but my wife and I think it’s time for him move into an off-campus student apartment to give us all some space and establish boundaries. We haven’t told him this yet, but plan to when he returns home next week.

While he was away he did apologize in a text to both my wife and I. However he still insists it wasn’t wrong for him to post those videos publicly for millions of people to see. He believes we are being too dramatic and taking it too personal. It took me threatening to disown him before he took down the videos.

A few of my friends thinks we are going too far by essentially abandoning him and kicking him out of our home. They said to keep in mind he’s still a stupid kid, and he’s digging in his heels because he wants attention.

We’ll be paying for his rent, but he will have to cover the other costs himself (food, gas) since that’s the most we can afford right now. He will have to get a part-time job while going to class.

We still love our son but neither of us can handle this right now for the sake of our marriage and mental health. Honestly I think I need to put my wife first here, and if that means he needs to leave then I’ll do that for her. Plus he’s 19 (turning 20 soon), so it’s not like he’s a child…

WIBTAH?
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Update:
 
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Redditor shows their "depression hair" (matted rat's nest):

So this is pretty embarrassing to post but… this is my depression hair. It’s been about 3 weeks since I’ve brushed it and it is SO matted and I have no idea what to do. Please help (and please don’t judge me, I know it’s bad).​


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Coolio55 said:
Has he really changed his principles or did he do something far more shocking ...he stuck to them?
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AnOminous said:
He was a pretty generic feminist, although funnier than most, but when he did his TERF-turn, at least partly because he got deplatformed and massively demonetized for daring to question the narrative even slightly, he went full mega-TERF and has been obsessively attacking troons ever since.

It's almost like troons create their own enemies.
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Thing is, "Sin Fest" didn't start out as prominently feminist or politically-biased in any way, it was a random comedy webcomic, Tatsuya changed the whole tone of it literally over night.
The first sign of things to come was January 5th, 2008, when Ishida got it in his head that he is a political commentator. For some time, the comic became flooded with insane, paranoid propaganda. Talking about big issues was nothing new to Sinfest, but taking sides, making points and forgetting jokes was. The fans cried foul, and Ishida eventually stopped. All was quiet on the western front until early October of 2011.

On strip 4045 everything changed. A long forgotten, one-shot character called "Xanthe" reappeared. She is a little girl who rides a tricycle and fights chauvinism mostly by annoying random guys on the street. From that moment on the entire comic descended into a never-ending pro-feminism sermon. Everyone got pissed off, the fans jumped ship in a mass-exodus and Sinfest was officially labeled "shit."
I didn't know that he eventually got demonetized and deplatformed, definitly explains why he dug in even harder with the anti-troon shit.
 
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AnOminous said:
"Misinformation" now just means "shit I disagree with."
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The weaponisation of the words "misinformation" and "disinformation" since COVID has been making more and more MATI. It's as if people are just a herd of sheep and they must be sheltered from wrong think at all time. Please make it stop :(
 
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Odd Opossum said:
I think the last time I read something on Reddit that felt like this was the guy on r/TIFU who said while he was on vacation with his mother, he would have sex with a coconut he cut a hole into every night for sexual relief, and how he ended up sticking his dick into it one day, pulled it out and found out that flies had laid eggs in the hole, and had maggots crawling all over his penis.
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I heard this post read out by a potato just a couple of days ago.

 
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Day 2 of place timelapse is out. Apparently the timings on this are fucked up and the canvas expansion didn't happen until the Turkish flag got covered with some sort of memorial to a YouTuber.


You'll notice it's pretty static, and that's because most of the canvas is automated with bots (if you keep your eyes peeled, you'll see an isometric building with a Moroccan thread spontaneously appear - this is apparently a Moroccan tech school and they've got a botnet set up). The only other amusing thing is apparently Argentina keeps defacing the Union Jack when the Brits are asleep.
Place has now expanded the colour palatte (and widened the canvas again), so the trans flag now has the correct colours and is doing its best to expand.
transplace.png

Meanwhile the jangly car keys of /r/place have served as cover for admin actions, as /u/ModCoord sent a message out a couple of days ago:
Hello everyone

You are receiving this message because your community has been closed for 1+ month.

If you are interested in actively moderating this subreddit please reopen it and reply to this modmail within the next 3 days to outline your plans going forward.

If we do not hear back, we will remove your moderator status and form a new moderator team.
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and now multiple mod teams (/r/canning, /r/malefashionadvice, /r/accidentalcoord) have been forcibly replaced all at once.
 
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Sparkling Yuzu said:
WIBTAH for kicking my son out for making “dark humor” TikToks about our daughters death?
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now i’m not for joking about someone’s death so soon

however, as someone who has dealt with more death than a imperial japanese war camp. comedy is one of the few ways i haven’t killed myself yet. finding humor in the dark is how we laugh and grow from things. if i couldn’t joke about my suicide attempts, not sure how i’d cope.

as for the son not feeling bad for the joke… based.

idk, i wouldn’t say it’s bad on either side. i can see why the parents are mad but i also understand why he made the joke
 
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Osama Bin Laden said:
idk, i wouldn’t say it’s bad on either side. i can see why the parents are mad but i also understand why he made the joke
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It's definitely, absolutely 100% bad on the son's side. This is not just making a joke, this is making a joke and then sharing it on a social media platform and going viral for it;
It was a dark humor video. “Before and after getting my drivers license” which was her school picture and then a picture of her gravestone/totaled car. The 3000+ comments were extremely fucked up and had similar “jokes”.

We found his account which had more than one video like this. “Us then vs now” which had a baby photo of them and then cut to a selfie of him next to her hospital bed before she died. There were in total 5 different posts similar to this. Each similarly more disgusting.
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The parents did the right thing in coming round to their son who's probably a bit fucked up from the whole affair, no need to lose both of their children. But there is no way a 19 year old should think it's appropriate to make TikToks mocking his sister's death for internet stickers, and then doubling down and saying his parents morning his dead 16 year old sister are being "dramatic" and "taking it too personal" and it's fine for him to make a mockery of his sister's death all over TikTok. That's insane. He's not a child, he's 19, and at the very least should have some sense of decorum about how his actions are making his parents feel.

This is probably partially the parents' fault for failing to discipline effectively and letting him grow up on the internet. If there'd been TikTok around when I was his age and I'd made memes about a 16 year old sibling dying, sharing photographs of her dying in a hospital bed so that people can give me updoots, I'd have been buried by my mother, and then dug up and murdered again by my father - none of this "we're going to make him move to an apartment and pay his rent".
 
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AssignedEva said:
It's definitely, absolutely 100% bad on the son's side. This is not just making a joke, this is making a joke and then sharing it on a social media platform and going viral for it;
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was the son doing it for the intention of it going viral? to be fair, as someone that's somewhat knowledgeable of the tiktok algorithm . being "viral" on TikTok is a hit or miss. the most mundane content becomes viral if enough people like it.

was an asshole thing to do? sure, i'll give you that. but idk. a fucked up joke
 
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Lady Rackets Ass said:
whenever they want
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False. You've never had a water denying manager. They take drinking water as a personal fucking insult. If employers could cut breaks entirely, they would (and are)
I've worked construction jobs with assholes like this, and you just drink your water and take the writeup.

I've also worked retail jobs where managers try to say you can't have water at a register or whatever, but you can laugh those pencil necks off.

If I never work asphalt again, I'll be a happy man. Still judge the shit out of poorly done parking lots. :P
 
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