Coming Out to Friends as a Transphobe

yeah, you cant just come out as total tranny death to everyone, its plain dangerous.
we are at risk of violence, or lack of job and/or home security...

i ’m stealth at college, I was stealth at my last job (where I couldn’t even say I dont believe in gender tranny rhetoric — my boss made it clear that they had a “don’t ask, don’t tell” sort of policy)
 
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White Devil said:
We make it work because at the end of the day we're in a relationship for each other, not opinions that make up very little of our lives in the long run.
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That's something I can usually agree with, right up until the man supports troondom and/or opposes self defense against "minorities" (be they racial or of the alphabet soup). I could just never willingly be with someone who has no intention to protect me and might troon out after huge commitments are made.
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I agree that going full TTD right off the bat is batshit for our own safety, but there should be some sleuthing out his stance before letting things get too far.
 
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Nonconsentual Pronouns said:
That's something I can usually agree with, right up until the man supports troondom and/or opposes self defense against "minorities" (be they racial or of the alphabet soup). I could just never willingly be with someone who has no intention to protect me and might troon out after huge commitments are made.
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She has a couple troon "friends" by acquaintance association. Mainly just people she's friends of friends with on social media. I made it very, very clear they are not welcome in our home and she acquised to that. I think she's stealth TTD but won't admit it because she knows I'd rib her on it, plus some of her friends being 100% on the ugly men in dresses are women delusion.

At the end of the day though if you make political leanings the focal point of your relationship, it's going to fail. We hard disagree on some stuff like I said, but it doesn't get taken to the point that someone gets upset.
 
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It's pretty easy to make it clear that you think all trooners and troon-adjacents are batshit fucknuts while still complying with the Newspeak. Just use their pronouns with slight pauses and a little too much emphasis, like so:
"I asked ..."her"... if ...."she"... had business on the premises. ..."She"... said no, so I asked ..."her"... to leave."
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see? nobody can call you on it, you complied with the pronoun edicts while still expressing dissent. Throw in a few stinkeyes and subtle hand gestures for good measure.
 
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SHOT TRASHED said:
As far as dating goes, having "The Correct Opinions" is basically just part of the game now. People used to actively avoid getting so caught up in politics cause it was just one of those things that was likely to cause arguments more than do any good. Now everyone has an opinion on politics they just can't wait to share 99% of the time. So of course folks in the dating game are just going to default to whatever keeps the waters calm.

This in addition to the fact that you never really know when people are being two faced when they're trying to learn more about your true opinions. Known a good handful of folks who basically rushed into revealing that stuff at the first opportunity and torpedo'd their relationships after the conversations they had were "totally chill".

Most people are non-confrontational. If trying to learn more about your opinions is just a shit test in disguise, you will not find out immediately.

It's because social media has basically been engineered to radicalize people when it comes to political interaction and discourse. It gets people riled up like they're somehow going to be the exact deciding factor on an issue. Situations like this rubber-band the knee jerk reactions and make you go "Ah..Well. We don't really agree on politics, but I guess that's just that. Let's just not talk about it."
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It may come as no surprise that unlike the rest of us, she never shared political memes on FB and kept it mostly to family vacation photos.
There was a certain point in my life where I sat down and scrubbed two years of embarrassment from my profile.
 
deep down everyone is subconsciously transphobic. to deny this fact is to deny the concept of the uncanny valley which is a part of thousands of years human evolution. no matter how much someone claims they arent transphobic the visceral fight or flight reaction the brain has to seeing something unnatural will never disappear.

i dont even think this is inherently an anti-trans perspective. im sure there are plenty of trans people that would agree there is always an awkward air around them even from their own "allies."

thats why transphobe is such a dumb word to me. being transphobic just means you have good survival instincts and a better chance to produce offspring.

but honestly if you feel the need "to come out as a transphobe" that sounds like a you problem and you should probably consider getting a life or something
 
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Being honest and true to yourself is the best way forward. If you do so, you'll find out which people will accept you and which won't, allowing you to naturally become closer with the former and more distant from the latter.

Now, if this group has very strong group-think, then those who don't mind your opinions might get corralled by the others, in which case it wasn't worth being in that group anyway.

Honestly, I think this can go for any opinion, ordinary to bat-shit insane. If you have to walk on eggshells around your "friends", then they aren't really your friends.
 
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Kirby said:
but honestly if you feel the need "to come out as a transphobe" that sounds like a you problem and you should probably consider getting a life or something
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I have to argue that having a life is what makes "coming out as a transphobe" dangerous. Going against the narrative these days puts you at risk of losing your job, losing your rental home, losing the ability to get a new job, being alienated from entire social settings whether or not anyone/everyone there knows you personally, being alienated from family, being alienated from friend groups, being alienated from online platforms, being alienated from online groups, etc.

Having a life means having and being at risk of losing the offline things.
 
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The people that I surround myself with these days are either in the loop on this sort of stuff or they're fairly apolitical. When I used to have friends that weren't, I just didn't bring this stuff up at all. Even criticizing BLM's rhetoric damaged the friendship regardless of how close we had been. The only thing you can do is either keep your beliefs to yourself and play the doormat or to cut the cord and accept that true friendships aren't so conditional.
 
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Just dropping by to deliver the usual warning:

You can never be friends with a troon. You are an accessory to them. You will be used for constant validation and as an emotional dumping ground for their inane problems.

If you are a woman and you befriend a MtF, you are begging to be victimized or at least skinwalked.

If you know someone who is friends with a troon, know that you are in the line of fire. It's like living next to a chemical plant with very lax safety standards. You're not affected until you are.
 
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I think being real and honest is important instead of just appeasing people and telling them what they want to hear, but it's also important to have some kind of filter otherwise you're just an asshole and nobody will like you. After the whole COVID-lockdown bullshit I started changing my lifestyle to be more of an outrovert and I began going out more to clubs and bars in between my college class days and found a lot of people who I started to like around my area. I learned a lot through some of my interactions. Youd be surprised there's a lot of people who won't really hate you too much if your opinion isn't too great on a marginalized group of people as long as you don't say it in a super, i guess "controversial" fashion.
 
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A few years ago I decided I was done with pretending and I’d just start openly challenging prevailing ideas in my pozzed-to-hell state just to try and provoke discussion, maybe help make my friends see that deviating from accepted ideologies doesn’t automatically make you a big bad fascist or whatever.

It’s a very lonely route to take and I’m not sure I can recommend it.
 
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I just did this to a friend who used to be a coworker of mine - I was always professional and basically just pretended I was supportive of LGBT shit because I was paid to do so. He had told me a long time ago that he had considered being a girl but didn't go into it more for MONTHS. Well he got a conservative girlfriend, so I was like ok maybe it's time to stop pretending. He also would say edgy shit and is into internet stuff, so I chanced it.

He didn't really react at first but then we hung out and he KEPT MENTIONING he wanted to be a girl and was asking me weird questions like why I hate pedophiles. It was so vile and awkward. I cut that shit off.
 
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