•I’m havingk some…
•I know. I left my ring - I was doing dishes, okay? I’m busy. 
BULLSHIT
•She’s gonna lose that thing within the year and I can’t wait.
•What are all these “dishes” she’s always “washing?”She doesn’t cook. All their food is takeout, which she eats straight from the package. WHAT IS SHE ALWAYS SO BUSY WASHING.
•I hahve some… I was cRaViNg this pass-tuh. Bechamel pass-tuh is like super popular here… so it’s like a pass-tuh like - I’m soory I’m trying to rush through the intro because my blood sugar is low… and I’m gonna pass out soon so…
•It’s been hours since the beast had her last feed. Now she fears syncope. Imagine her magical 40-day (or whateverthefuckitwas) water fast when she loses consciousness from weakness in the space of time between her second lunch and her first dinner.
•<opens box>
•WHOAAAAA hoooo hoo hoo!
•Finally. Our gorl has laid her delicate green eyes upon what is an actual large-enough serving of pass-tuh blanketed in cheese.
•Personally, this is my own favorite diet meal. I eat this three times a day. And one for a snack.
•CHEESY CHEESY! There’s lots of cheese on top.
•That cheese would be visible to the space shuttle. I’m not certain she needs to continue describing it.
•And there’s also béchamel sauce…
•JULIA! NOOOO! NOO NOO NOO!
•And some kind of meat mixture - - meat sauce. Oh yah they’re HOT.
•JULIA! Everyone can see your ear hair!
•Alright.
•I’ve been asked to talk about this LIE LIE LIE
tReNdInG… <eye roll>
•The whole ARIANA GRANDE situation. So I’m gonna give you my opinion on it, alright?
•I’m literally on the edge of my lawn chair.
•So here goes: My opinion is I don’t care about Ariana Grande or her cheating ways or her relationships, or her life, pretty much at all. Heh. I mean… so if you’re not aware and you’ve been living under a rock like I have because I didn’t know about this until someone mentioned it and now I see it it’s trending all over TikTok I didn’t know about it before.
•Slurp smack chew swallow KILL ME
•There’s some guy… I even forget his name. He’s been married for eleven years or he’s been in a relationship for eleven, twelve years or something. And his wife is having a baby - I don’t really know the details. You can find out more about this elsewhere.
•I wish I could claim to be stunned that a “cahntent creatorrr” would choose a subject about which to speak in a video, yet doesn’t do even a modicum of research ahead of time. It’s flabbergasting.
•Anyway. He apparently cheated on his wife with Ariana Grande. WHY? Idunno.
•My speculation as to why - like okay. Because he’s like “applied” for a divorce. Since this happened. So if he’s ready to divorce his wife, he must not love her anymore. Like you’re not gonna go a day of your life without - if you love somebody you’re not gonna go a day without them. Like, that you don’t have to.
•Like when I travelled to Canadia, or if I travel anywhere - I’m just saying maybe I travel places you don’t know about! Hmm! Hee!
•But… I’m just saying. When I travel, there’s not a day that goes by, maybe not even an hour, where we don’t communicate and we don’t video chat.
•Like I had a messy pahst with things, and so I I can’t judge on that because you know I’ve been through my own mess. I wouldn’t do those things now, I would never cheat on anybody, at all. I learned a hard lesson from that. But…the wife is probably better off without this guy, if he’s just gonna like leave her just for Ariana Grande. You know. I mean I don’t really have much to say. I find Ariana Grande honestly to be very overrated in my opinion.
•So… mmm oh every time I do a mukbang I forget that I committed to a doiet like the day before. BULLSHIT
•I need to stop announcing things. Like this is my problem, you know.
•Whenever I’m successfully on a doiet or on a healthier path for more than like a little bit, more than a day… more than a week… you’ll know. HEH HEH. Alright??? Until then…
•I was hungry, I ordered what I was craving, and I’m eating, that’s it.
•Uhm, this is the best. It tastes a bit like creamy hamburger helper or something like that. Very comforting. My new fAvOrItE thing.
•JULIA!
•Soo… it’s too bad for the wife… but
•I should try making these. I’ve seen people do them. I mean I’m in the land of the grape leaves. My favorite, right? Heh
•MMMM! The lemon is a whole other level.
•They’re very tart, like, because the grape leaf itself is like a green that’s kind of tart? And then you put rice, herbs, uh, tomatoes things like thaht… very savory things in the rice inside the grape leaves and they’re stuffed and they’re rolled and you put like this lemon sauce on them UGGGGGGHHH. They’re so good.
•This is so good and cheesy and creamy and…
•MMM anyway it tastes like your like grandparents made it.
•Alright. So bahck to the drama that I don’t care about at all.
•I dunno, like… apparently she has a track record.
•JULIA!
•Fucking cat.
•For this uh whatever. I could really care less aboot her life. Specially her love life.
•Slurp chew swallow
•But yah… I mean people are giving Arianda all kinds of problems - it takes two to tango, like what about him? You know? He obviously doesn’t love his wife anymore. Or he’s just. Maybe he loves her but like if he wants to leave her does he really? Maybe not “in love” and he probably wants to pursue something with Arianda and she’s probably just like ‘he’s my flavor of the week.’ HEE!
•How did she go from pronouncing her name correctly for half the video to adding an extra “d” to quote Chantal “
I DON’T GET IT.”
•You know?
•Sinéad O’Connor pahhssed away. I forgot to touch on that.
•It’s cool. We all survived.
•Rest in peace Sinéad. You were a legend. She had a very um, she was suffering from mental illness, YOU KNOW?
•I’m gonna sing part of her song in her honor..
•oh dear god please please please no.
•
Nothing comp….
•FAST FUCKING FORWARD
•Cranberries singer etc
•I’m getting ready to tap
What’s in your headddd…?
•FAST FUCKING FORWARD
Sorry goize I can’t do more.
She’s intolerable.
.
