Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Oliver Onions]

No, I expect Pat's protagonists are all super badasses who never make any mistakes and the antagonists are a bunch of omega-maga extremists that must be exterminated inshallah

If you've really never read any of Pat's work then I recommend you start doing the lottery because your predictions are immaculate.

One of his books literally has a character named something like Fonald Plumpf.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

Yeah, but Sega has some actual reach and people know about it. Who knows about the """""author""""" fatrick? The review board will be very confused with the Stalker-Child complex inhibiting the Tomlinson pathway.

Not to worry, Plan Stalkerchild is already underway. The shadow cabal of Patposters is hard at work infiltrating all levels of government, academia, science, and the military. Prison enjoyers everywhere are sneaking their way into these long-standing institutions, and within the week we will have a new species of insect from South America named after Patrick Tomlinson.

 

[Alabama Gamer]

Not to worry, Plan Stalkerchild is already underway. The shadow cabal of Patposters is hard at work infiltrating all levels of government, academia, science, and the military. Prison enjoyers everywhere are sneaking their way into these long-standing institutions, and within the week we will have a new species of insect from South America named after Patrick Tomlinson.

Given the wide range of classes and professions that sites like KF and OnA bring together, there is almost certainly someone out there who could pull it off. It would come at the price of a total self-dox, but who can put a price on the opportunity to be the greatest A-Log of all time?

 

[Associate Rick]

Pat of course is going to go in armed with his legal know-how thinking he will come out with a million dollars in cash, Quasi and Dan facing the electric chair, and a high five from the Judge.

As this is Rick we're talking about I think they're more likely to face the eclectic chair.

He might not necessarily admit it to himself after the fact, but he clearly isn't scoring some kind of victory by responding, he apparently does it just because he enjoys it. He wouldn't respond at all if he didn't, it's like he's egging them on to keep texting him.

I really believe that the brothermen are the only people who actually interact with Rick regularly, we've seen him cropped out of Nikkis family photo, he was left behind at thanksgiving and had to go to a dive bar for a plate of slop, at this point the brothermen are the closest thing to friends he has and if they stopped texting and xeeting at him he'd be completely lost without them.

Not to worry, Plan Stalkerchild is already underway. The shadow cabal of Patposters is hard at work infiltrating all levels of government, academia, science, and the military.

Patposting has gone international, I've heard Putin himself is a brotherman.

 

[LGHDR+]

It would be interesting to see when Pat was swatted again if he were to have a warrant in his name. I suspect they might slow down for a while if that were the case.

Though I only get my Pat news from here - has the 47 increased lately?


I have a friend going to GenCon, but I can't in good conscience encourage him to go see a Pat talk. I should probably warn him about the potential gravitational effects coming from whatever nook or cranny Pat is being permitted to speak in, though.

Definitely warn. Spaghettification can't be pleasant, snd sine Pat is supermassive, your friend wouldn't even be aware until he already passed the event horizon, unless he noticed the frame dragging.

Horrifying.

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

We're really gonna party like it's page 1999

You were eating when I wrote this
So sue me if I called you fat
But you called me an atalker
And you told me that your name's not Pat

Weigh weigh 2000-0-0
Eating Hooligans' all the time
So we're gonna enjoy prison
Like a drunk Milwaukee swine

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Rate me late if this was posted here. I’m not super active in keeping up with this thread

 

[Anasûrimbor Kellhus]

some kind of repressed homosexuality underlies

yeah in that phonecall with the guy who pretended to be some journalist patrick was inebriated and was getting saucy with the guy, I think null pointed out he was on the cusp of call him kitten. "no sweet baby child", really sends a chill down the spine.

 

[The Feline Solution]

One of his books literally has a character named something like Fonald Plumpf.

I never could decide which name is more cringe-inducingly retarded, Firstname Lastname or Fonald Plumpf. There's also Captain Kamala, he really is that much of a faggot.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

At least someone was kind enough to ensure that A Christmas Carnage will be preserved for all time and can be shared with all now that it is a permanent part of the Internet Archive's text collection:

https://archive.org/details/christmas-carnage-a-owen-a.-forrems

An excellent way to establish it as "prior art" if someone else happened to try and publish anything subsequently and claim it as an "original" idea.

I came across it while reviewing new uploaded texts to the IA (despite it being run by tranny scum, it is a repository for texts that can't be found elsewhere). The username is appreciated, "SneedArchive".

 

[FinnSven]

at this point the brothermen are the closest thing to friends

That is the single most tragic thing about him.

Cuckolded and furious to the point of terminating his parental rights, sad but not completely his failure.

Far more stupid and dense than he thinks he is, again, not really his fault, more a quirk of genetics.

But being so unpleasant, despite looking clean enough that body odor probably is no worse than average, having some hobbies which are social enough, and hanging out in a bar all the time, his best friends are a group of people from the internet dedicated to making him into a laughingstock, well it shows how obnoxious he really must be to be around.

Even sad hopeless boozehounds and junkies I have known over the years seemed to have a couple of friends. Maybe they were just people they drank or got high with, but they at least sought each other’s company.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

There's much more leeway in naming animals than naming proteins/pathways in biochem/mol bio sadly. Best you can really hope for is funny acronyms like CHLD --> STKR --| FAT

I didn't know you were a member among us bio/chem/med fags. Only someone learned in our ways would know the proper way to write promotion and inhibition using ASCII characters.

 

[Rick's Beef Wellington]

That is the single most tragic thing about him.

Cuckolded and furious to the point of terminating his parental rights, sad but not completely his failure.

Far more stupid and dense than he thinks he is, again, not really his fault, more a quirk of genetics.

But being so unpleasant, despite looking clean enough that body odor probably is no worse than average, having some hobbies which are social enough, and hanging out in a bar all the time, his best friends are a group of people from the internet dedicated to making him into a laughingstock, well it shows how unpleasant he really must be to be around.

Even sad hopeless boozehounds and junkies I have known over the years seemed to have a couple of friends. Maybe they were just people they drank or got high with, but they at least sought each other’s company.

This is my whole thing with him, and why I can't get into the other cows who have obvious mental and physical problems. He couldn't just be happy with a book contract, a bisexual second wife whose family has money, a small circle of orbiters, a local watering hole, comedy open mics, half-a-house that you rent the other half out to make it pay for itself...I honestly don't get it, he was living the Bugman's Dream.

 

[not william stenchever]

Definitely warn. Spaghettification can't be pleasant, snd sine Pat is supermassive, your friend wouldn't even be aware until he already passed the event horizon, unless he noticed the frame dragging.

Horrifying.

When it comes to Fatrickian singularities the proper term is sausagification

 

[LordofCringe7206 Vol. 2]

This is my whole thing with him, and why I can't get into the other cows who have obvious mental and physical problems. He couldn't just be happy with a book contract, a bisexual second wife whose family has money, a small circle of orbiters, a local watering hole, comedy open mics, half-a-house that you rent the other half out to make it pay for itself...I honestly don't get it, he was living the Bugman's Dream.

The problem with these types of people is that nothing really brings them joy or happiness. No matter what it is. A lot of Patrick types crave wealth, influence, fame and power, but even when they get that they tend to become even more miserable because they can't fathom why they are still miserable after they achieved what they thought they wanted.

In Patricks case, he is beyond miserable because he really feels he is a god and cannot handle any descent of any kind. Patrick is literally the guy from the Canadian domestic violence PSA that would fly off the rails at a waitress who accidentally spilled a little bit of coffee. That isn't supposed to him of all people in his mind.

It is why we have this saga to begin with. He really cannot allow any criticism of him to exist, so he deliberately went looking for it and chose to wage war against anyone who voiced it. As time went on, more and more people dogpiled on him because they saw him for the psychopath he really is.

 

[Next Task]

Given the wide range of classes and professions that sites like KF and OnA bring together, there is almost certainly someone out there who could pull it off. It would come at the price of a total self-dox, but who can put a price on the opportunity to be the greatest A-Log of all time?

Eh, naming a worm after Pat sounds funny, but then his name is always a part of science, even in just the name of a worm. I'd rather something be called stalkerchildius enjoyprisonerae than anything that directly has his name in it.

 

[FinnSven]

In Patricks case, he is beyond miserable because he really feels he is a god and cannot handle any descent of any kind. Patrick is literally the guy from the Canadian domestic violence PSA that would fly off the rails at a waitress who accidentally spilled a little bit of coffee. That isn't supposed to him of all people in his mind.

Maybe this is why Patrick doesn’t drink in Hooligans anymore?

Perhaps the only reason the management didn’t call the police is because they are well aware how fucked Fatrick is and actually pity him.
They might be thankful that he did bring in thousands of dollars, but are also aware that those will dry up soon, either cause he goes to prison or Niki finally checks that the money she gives him to pay Quasi goes on paying Quasi.

It could also be the truth behind Fatrick’s claims of winning hundreds of bar fights.
Assaulting an unsuspecting waitress and then fleeing before the rest of the bar beat him shitless likely counts in Fatrick’s personal criteria of fight success.

 

[Piggle Rick]

Assaulting an unsuspecting waitress and then fleeing before the rest of the bar beat him shitless likely counts in Fatrick’s personal criteria of fight success.

Actual footage of Pat running away:

 

[grapeshark77]

Pretend podcast update: at the end of part 3 the host comes on and lies about the pests "hacking" his Patreon (in reality they legally signed up, I have no idea why he lied about that) and then says a fourth episode is coming with Pest interviews.

This might be terrible based on the host's bias but I think Pat will be FURIOUS that this "3-part series" which he billed as the most complete telling of his story is now longer and has been invaded by "stalkers". Looking for him to start yelling at the host soon.

 

[Oliver Onions]

I never could decide which name is more cringe-inducingly retarded, Firstname Lastname or Fonald Plumpf. There's also Captain Kamala, he really is that much of a faggot.

I think the worst part is Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy also has what's essentially a Trump-like character (decades before he became President, Douglas Adams was on the ball with that shit) so not only is Pat's idea retarded, it's also a rip-off of an infinitely superior book.

He can't even be original with his stupid bullshit (but that should have been obvious to us all with that Tiny Tim book he'll be finishing any day now).